Most of the material below is published in an analytical report. “The rhetoric of the homosexual movement in the light of scientific facts”. doi:10.12731/978-5-907208-04-9, ISBN 978-5-907208-04-9

Introduction

One of the arguments of LGBT* activists is that homosexual partnerships, so-called “gay families,” are supposedly no different from heterosexual families with traditional values ​​and worldviews. The prevailing picture in the media is that homosexual relationships are as healthy, stable, and loving as normal heterosexual relationships, or even superior to them. This picture does not correspond to reality, and many representatives of the homosexual community honestly admit this. People of the same sex who engage in sexual relations are at increased risk of STIs, physical injuries, mental disorders, substance abuse, suicide, and intimate partner violence. This article will focus on three significant features of interpersonal homosexual relationships that are strikingly different from heterosexual ones:
• promiscuity and related practices;
• short-lived and non-monogamous relationships;
• increased rates of violence in partnership.

Contents:

PROMISCUITY
SEX IN PUBLIC PLACES
“GAY SAUNAS”
HIGH NUMBER OF PARTNERS
BAGCHASING
INSTABILITY AND NON-EXCLUSIVITY OF PARTNERSHIPS
PARTNERSHIP VIOLENCE

Key findings

(1) In homosexual registered partnerships and cohabiting couples, especially among men, there is a much higher level of sexual licentiousness than in the heterosexual population.
(2) Homosexual partnerships and “marriages” are predominantly sexually “open” - they allow sexual relations outside the couple.
(3) On average, homosexual officially registered partnerships and “marriages” are significantly shorter than heterosexual marriages.
(4) The levels of violence in homosexual partnerships and cohabiting couples, especially among women, are higher than in the heterosexual population.

Promiscuity

In sexual relations between men, promiscuity is the norm and a major factor in the spread of STDs. A homosexual's adoption of a "gay identity" and his involvement in the "LGBT*" movement significantly increase his sexual promiscuity ( Van de Ven 1997 ). Prominent gay journalist Randy Shilts noted that promiscuity "was the core of the burgeoning gay movement of the 70s" ( Shilts 1987 ) . Homosexual publicist Gabriel Rotello wrote that the "gay" movement is based on:

“…a sexual brotherhood of promiscuity and any deviation from this promiscuity would mean a betrayal of gigantic proportions…” ( Rotello 1998 )

Lust, sodomy, phalluses, and the pornographic presentation of promiscuity with multiple partners are the leading motifs in homosexual literature, the stage, the visual arts, and other forms of art.

This mural on the walls of a New York City public restroom was painted by American pop art icon Keith Haring in honor of the 20th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. Less than a year later, the artist of this piece, described as "an homage to the more carefree days of toilet sex" and "a grandiose and uncompromising celebration of gay sexuality ," died of AIDS at the age of 31.

The AIDS epidemic that broke out at the beginning of the 1980's only insignificantly reduced the sexual fervor of homosexual men, and even then for a short time. The growing public tolerance for homosexuals and the development of drugs for the treatment and prevention of AIDS have contributed to the resumption of an increased level of promiscuity, which is now greatly facilitated by numerous dating sites and mobile phone applications.

Grindr is the most popular location-based app for homosexual encounters, using GPS to locate the distance to a sexual target. Its original logo, reminiscent of the "Do Not Interfere, It Will Kill" or "Beware of Poison" signs, eccentrically frankly indicated that the services it provided could be life-threatening. Research has shown that approximately 50% of users of such apps do not use condoms. The app is also actively used by rapists, robbers, and serial killers. Homosexual author and activist Gary Lambert claimed that there isn't a single 50-year-old homosexual who doesn't know at least one person who was murdered during a casual encounter. According to Lambert, a strong obsessive-compulsive need for sex dominates the consciousness of "gay" men, and for many of them, the main goal in life is:

"...the fulfillment of their lustful fantasies and the achievement of some kind of intimacy with other men. The threat of HIV infection only intensifies their desires, since the greater the danger, the more intense the sensations" ( Lambert 1993 ).

What Lambert said echoes the experience of former president of the American Psychological Association, Nicholas Cummings, who ran a clinic in San Francisco:

“In the gay community, sexual relations were completely open and mundane; it was the main way of communication. In the afternoon, everyone went looking for sexual adventures in Buena Vista Park, and that was the right thing, since everyone was there for it. Anonymous sex turned into a fetish. In those years, it was very difficult to find a men's toilet without a hole in the wall of the cabin. There were special booths in sex cinemas where a visitor leaning over watched porn films, and at that time someone went into the booth, had anal sex and left him, and he did not even know who it was. It was very popular.
There were bars where visitors were dressed only in cowboy chapas (leather legs with an open groin), that is, in fact, they were naked. In some bars there were baths for urination, and a person could climb into them, while others urinated on him. It was very common.
In San Francisco, there was an abandoned railway tunnel, where at night in complete darkness the partners were found to touch. Once they killed someone there, it was in the news, and what would you think? - The number of visitors has increased 4 times.
I had patients who were unable to have sex with the same partner twice. I was also visited by patients who were tired of a short-term relationship. Most homosexual relationships last about 3 months. Everyone is busy searching for “that one”. I made fun of patients, telling them that in their search they decided to sleep with the whole city, otherwise there will be no certainty that they did not miss “that one”, and laughing, they said: “But you understood correctly, doc” ”(Cummings xnumx).

The founder of the gay movement in the United States, Harry Hay, argued that homosexual contacts in public restrooms or parks were a "civil right" and that any attempt to suppress such public disturbances was "police brutality" and "oppression" ( Jennings 1994 ).

Gay activists Kirk and Madsen, addressing homosexual behavior issues in the book “After The Ball"Write the following:

"Perhaps the most pernicious form of unacceptable gay behavior is public sex... Despite government attempts to suppress this phenomenon, the homosexual cohort continues to indulge day and night in one of the most vile gay excesses (often in full view of straight people) in public restrooms, parks, and alleys of all major US cities. These people make no attempt to ensure the privacy of their activity, even waiting for a lull in the influx of visitors. However, for many, the possibility of being caught red-handed is three-quarters of the excitement. They masturbate in urinals, wander around completely naked, and perform fellatio on each other in acrobatic positions in open stalls. "When they spill their semen—on toilet seats, walls, or floors—they leave it there, frozen in disgusting and easily identifiable puddles... It seems incredible that gay men could be so reckless, but many of them are governed more by their penises than by their brains... Astonishingly, some gay men are convinced that they have every right to commit such antics in public restrooms and parks, as if they had been created specifically for them as sexual playgrounds. Some go so far as to resent visitors who, upon arriving in Rome, refuse to behave like Romans... The gay press readily condemns any suggestion that such public antics are a bad idea, and brands police efforts to put a stop to the phenomenon as 'anti-gay harassment'..." ( Kirk and Madsen 1990 ).

In 1978, American playwright Larry Kramer, known for his homosexual preferences, wrote a novel titled "Faggots" ¹ , which sparked outrage among LGBT+ activists and even calls for its ban ( Baim 2011 ). This was because the novel, as Kramer himself stated, depicted the true reality of the gay subculture. The novel's action unfolds in special clubs and saunas where promiscuous sex, sadomasochistic orgies, and drug use reign supreme. At the presentation of his book, Kramer said:

“…What did I do that was so terrible? I put the truth in writing. What did I do? I just told the fucking truth to everyone I ever knew…” ( Baim 2011 ).

Then, in an article published in the homosexual magazine The Advocate, Kramer wrote the following:

"AIDS among gay men is not going away… You can't have sex indiscriminately with multiple partners who are doing the same thing without spreading a disease that has been deadly for years. Nature always takes its toll on sexual promiscuity… We must create a new culture that is not so tragically limited and focused on our obsession with our penises and what we do with them." ( Kramer 1997 )

“Gay saunas”

Despite the advancement of internet technology, so-called "gay saunas," which exist for the purpose of indiscriminate, anonymous contact and have played a significant role in the spread of HIV, continue to thrive in most major cities. A 2003 study found that over 30% of homosexual men frequent these establishments, with an average number of sexual partners of approximately 27 per year ( Woods 2003 ). In the semi-darkness of one such "sauna," Gaëtan Dugas , who became one of the main vectors for the spread of HIV in the United States, indulged in unprotected sex with 250 partners per year for three years after his fatal diagnosis until his death . This is how former homosexual Joseph Sciambra, whose addictions resulted in a partial rectal removal and nearly cost him his life, describes a "gay sauna":

The layout consisted of a series of oddly arranged areas that became progressively darker as you went deeper. The decor included all the male clichés: polished chrome, black vinyl cushions, and murals of bodybuilders. The areas at the front were the most substantial, followed by nearly empty rooms painted black. There was a certain detachment, but it was subtle, and anyone, even the flabby and elderly, could find a partner. At the very least, the back rooms were filled with men who only wanted a man's body with blood coursing through his veins. I left the showers and walked to a large section devoted to weights and various exercise benches. The gunmetal gray of the walls recalled a machine shop or garage. I could only make out vague outlines resembling human forms. Up ahead, I could barely make out a dimly lit rectangular bench, which, like the floor, was covered in a dark material. Several naked men were kneeling over the bench. I couldn't see their heads or faces, only their raised buttocks. For a few seconds, I stood motionless. This was it. I had reached the climax of my deepest desires. The literal end for every gay man—kneeling, spreading his buttocks, hoping for a man to appear" ( Sciambra 2017 ).

Shilts cites a 1982 study by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) of 50 homosexual men diagnosed with GRID (the former name for AIDS). It found that the average number of sexual partners among those diagnosed with GRID was 1100, with some patients reporting as many as 20,000. The average number of partners among homosexual controls without the condition was 550. Shilts attributes the rampant promiscuity prevalent in the gay community to the lack of female moderation and the excessive abundance of testosterone:

"There is nothing in the gay subculture to moderate the purely masculine values ​​that are realized with a gusto that no heterosexual macho could ever dream of. Promiscuity is widespread because in a subculture composed entirely of men, there is no one to say 'no.' No one performs any moderating role similar to that performed by women in a heterosexual environment. Some heterosexual men have admitted that they would be delighted by the idea of ​​immediate, accessible, even anonymous sex offered by gay saunas, if only they could find consenting women. Gay men, of course, often consent." ( Shilts 1987 )

In the video clip below, an AIDS patient homosexual patient claims that he had at least 50 sexual partners in one night

Here's the revelation Kirk and Madsen give:

"The only ticket to the gay life is external attractiveness, but even that won't save you from disappointment... Arriving in the city, he discovered that there's only one thing that gay life is focused on: fucking... When a person is young and inexperienced, the most basic "vanilla" relationships—cuddling and mutual masturbation—are more than enough. It's something new, forbidden, "dirty," and exciting. Over time, vanilla sex with one partner becomes habitual, mundane, and boring, and loses its ability to arouse. At first, the jaded homosexual seeks novelty in partners, becoming incredibly promiscuous and indiscriminate. Eventually, all bodies become boring to him, and he begins to seek excitement in new practices. He tries to restore erectile thrills through "dirty" and "forbidden" aspects of sex, such as fetishism, urolagnia, coprophilia, etc." ( Kirk and Madsen 1990 ).

The level of sexual promiscuity described above in the homosexual community is consistent with research data.

A study by Bell and colleagues (1978) reported that 70% of homosexuals admitted to having sexual relations with more than 50% of their partners only once, 43% of homosexuals admitted to having 500 or more partners during their lifetime, 28% admitted to having 1000 or more partners during their lifetime, and of these people, 79% said that half of those partners were complete strangers, and 70% of these sexual contacts were one-night stands ( Bell 1978 ). According to Pollack and colleagues, the average homosexual changes several dozen partners annually and several hundred during his lifetime (Pollak in Aries 1985 , pp. 40–51).

By 1984, after the AIDS epidemic broke out, the homosexual movement urged its members to moderate their promiscuity, but this had little effect: instead of >6 partners per month in 1982, the average non-monogamous respondent in San Francisco in 1984 reported having sex with approximately 4 partners per month ( McKusick 1984 ² ). In subsequent years, the CDC noted an increase in sexual promiscuity among young homosexuals in San Francisco: from 1994 to 1997, the proportion of homosexuals engaging in multiple partners and unprotected anal-genital intercourse increased from 23,6% to 33,3%, with the largest increase among men under 25 ( CDC 1999 ). Despite its incurability, AIDS no longer deterred homosexuals from practicing promiscuity ( Hoover 1991 ; Kelly 1992 ).

A survey of over 2583 older homosexual men found that, on average, they had between 100 and 500 partners during their lifetime, with 12% having more than 1000 partners ( Van de Ven 1997 ). The same study also found that homosexual men who belonged to the homosexual movement were four times more likely to have had more than 50 sexual partners in the previous 6 months than homosexual men who were not members of the homosexual movement ( Van de Ven 1997 ).

A survey conducted by the homosexual magazine Genre showed that 24% of respondents said that they had more than a hundred sexual partners in their lives. The magazine noted that several respondents suggested including in the survey the category of “more than a thousand sexual partners” (Lambda Report 1998).

In another study that lasted approximately 6 months, the mean number of sexual partners in hepatitis A-positive homosexuals was 68,2 ± 13. The number of previous sexual partners averaged 713 in those whose homosexual practice had lasted an average of 11,5 years and 1054 partners in those whose homosexual practice had lasted an average of 17,8 years ( Corey 1980 ).

Interesting data were obtained in a study by Bell et al. (1978)—the authors, among other things, examined whether respondents had engaged in sexual contact with animals. Among men, 19,5% of homosexuals and 5,4% of heterosexual men answered affirmatively; among homosexual women, 6,5% answered affirmatively, and heterosexual women answered negatively ( Bell 1978 , 1981 ). When asked about the practice of sexual sadism, 26% of homosexual men, 4,5% of heterosexual men, 9,6% of homosexual women, and 2,7% of heterosexual women answered affirmatively ( Bell 1981 ).

In a study of male same-sex couples, 41% had open sexual agreements with some conditions or restrictions, and 10% had open sexual agreements without restrictions. 22% reported violating agreed-upon agreements in the previous 12 months, and 13% of the sample reported unprotected anal intercourse in the previous three months with a third-party partner with unknown or uncertain HIV status ( Neilands 2010 ).

Promiscuity among homosexual women is less common than among homosexual men, but it is still higher than among heterosexual women. Surprisingly, there is an amazing observation in the literature that among homosexual women, the level of sexual licentiousness with men (!) Is higher than among heterosexual women. Australian researchers reported that the likelihood that a homosexual woman will have more than 50 male partners during her life is 4,5 times higher than that for heterosexual women (9% vs 2%); and 93% of homosexual women had sex with men (Price 1996; Ferris 1996).

Research has shown that relaxed sexual behavior, usually beginning at an early age, is positively correlated with homosexuality. Sexually unrestrained women have an increased number of sexual partners, many of whom may statistically be women. According to a recent study, women who have multiple same-sex partners have even more opposite sex partners (Kanazawa xnumx).

Over the past two decades, the lesbian community became more sexualized. Erotic magazines, sex toy stores, and pornographic companies targeted at and managed by lesbians have spread. Lesbian clubs advertise “I Love Pussy” evenings and proudly flaunt “activity” in the toilet cubicles. Lesbian BDSM organizations exist in most major US cities, and polyamory is also becoming more common.

Bagging

There are a number of observations indicating that some homosexual men voluntarily and knowingly transmit HIV to themselves through unprotected sexual contact with an HIV-positive individual. The terms "bugchaser" and "giftgiver" are used to describe this phenomenon. Cases of voluntary HIV transmission were first discussed at the height of the HIV epidemic in the mid-80s, when the first scientific papers on the topic appeared ( Frances 1985 ; Flavin 1986 ).

As early as 1999, an article in the San Francisco magazine SFGate reported on the growing popularity among young homosexuals of the so-called Russian roulette sex game or "barebacking" ^parties ; that is, groups of young men meet to engage in homosexual orgies, with three rules: no clothing, no condoms, and no discussion of HIV status, even if at least one participant is HIV-positive ( Russell 1999 ).

A more precise description of “bug chasing” appeared a little later, in 2003, when journalist Gregory Freeman published an article in Rolling Stone magazine, “In Search of Death,” in which he described the emergence of a new sexual fetish among gay men: when some homosexuals want to deliberately get HIV, while others happily infect them ( Freeman 2003 , removed from the Rolling Stone website).

"...Consciously becoming HIV-positive is the breaking of an extreme taboo, the most extreme sexual act, which attracts some homosexuals willing to try anything. Others feel lost in the group of people living with HIV in the gay community. Bug chasers want to be part of this "club." Some say that bug chasing opens the door to sexual nirvana. And some can't stand the thought of not looking like their HIV-positive lover..." ( Freeman 2003 ).

Although Freeman's article sparked a flurry of criticism from LGBT+-affiliated journalists who accused him of exaggerating the scale of the problem or manipulating information, scientific evidence does indeed document such practices among homosexuals. In 1999, researchers Gauthier and Forsyth first described the desire for targeted HIV infection among homosexuals who practice promiscuity and unprotected sex ( Gauthier 1999 ). In 2003, Dr. Richard Tewksbury was the first in the scientific community to describe how homosexuals who practice "bug chasing" use the Internet and specific dating sites ( Tewksbury 2003 ; 2006 ). In 2004, Crossley described the prevalence of such practices among homosexuals ( Crossley 2004 ). Large-scale studies of internet use among homosexual "bugchasers" were conducted by Grov and colleagues ( Grov 2006a ; 2006b ; 2004 ). In 2007, American scientists Moskowitz and Roloff identified several reasons why some homosexuals desire to become infected with HIV: one reason is the desire to join a special "brotherhood of initiates" that is more cohesive than the disparate group of homosexual men ( Moskowitz 2007a ). Another reason is the unwillingness to use protection and the desire to have sex freely without fear of contracting HIV. A third group includes people who deny AIDS as such and dismiss the "AIDS hysteria" as a fictitious theory. Moskowitz and Roloff compared bug chasing to a severe sexual addiction: in their view, men who desire to acquire the virus typically engage in promiscuous sex, engaging in frequent unprotected sex with both HIV-positive people and those whose HIV status is unknown ( Moskowitz 2007a ). The psychological characteristics of homosexuals who practice "bug chasing" and the reasons for this behavior have also been described in other works ( Moskowitz 2007b ; LeBlanc 2007 ; Hatfield 2004; Blechner 2002 ). Here is how Joseph Sciambra describes them:

“By then, I was getting sick so often that I was sure I was already infected. I then joined the ranks of fearless, supposedly HIV-negative ‘bug chasers’ and those already infected. In these groups, the pretension of safe sex was either completely absent, or the atmosphere was too excited and heated for anyone to stop and open a condom package. The most fanatical followers were those who dreamed of contracting the virus from an HIV-positive ‘donor’. The complete impossibility of conception through same-sex sex left a subconscious feeling of lifelessness in everyone involved. Compensation consisted of introducing a charged particle into the sperm, which could potentially penetrate the membrane of every cell, forever changing the recipient” ( Sciambra 2017 ).

Instability and non-exclusivity of partnerships

Homosexuals, even in long-term relationships, are less likely to be faithful to each other. Among traditional families, a nationally representative survey published in the Journal of Sex Research found that 77% of married men and 88% of married women were faithful to their marriage vows ( Wiederman 1997 ). Another national survey found that 75% of husbands and 85% of wives had never had sex outside of marriage ( Laumann 1994 ). A telephone survey of 1049 adult respondents conducted for Parade magazine found that 81% of married men and 85% of married women reported never having violated their marriage vows ( PR Newswire 1994 ). A 1995 review of the data found that 83% of men and 95% of women reported monogamy ( Paik 2010 ). Thus, traditional heterosexual relationships, including marriage—the union of a man and a woman—are predominantly sexually exclusive, meaning that sexual intercourse outside of marriage is unacceptable.

Regarding homosexual relationships, including those officially registered, such partnerships are predominantly sexually non-exclusive—on average, each partner has two concurrent relationships within a year ( Rosenberg 2011 ). A study by McWhirter (1985) found that in relationships lasting from 1 to 5 years, only 4,5% of homosexuals report monogamy, and in relationships lasting more than 5 years, none. The authors concluded that:

"The expectation of external sexual activity is the rule for male couples and the exception for heterosexuals. Heterosexual couples live with some hope that their relationship will last 'till death do them part,' while same-sex couples wonder whether their relationship will survive... The single most important factor keeping couples together after the ten-year mark is the absence of a sense of possessiveness toward each other." ( McWhirter 1985 , p. 3, p. 256).

Harry (1984) reports that 66% of homosexual men admit to having sex on the side during the first year of the relationship, and if they last more than five years, the number of people admitted increases to 90%.

Sarantakos (1998d) found that only 10% of male couples and 17% of female couples were intentionally monogamous. Prior to this, he showed that only 19% of homosexual couples have not separated in the last 5 years, while 66% of male and 63% of female couples broke up with three or more partners (Sarantakos 1996c).

A study in the Netherlands found that homosexual relationships last an average of one and a half years. Homosexuals who are not in long-term relationships have about 22 casual sexual partners per year, while those in long-term relationships ⁴ have "only" 8 "lovers" per year ( Lampinen 2003 ; Xiridou 2003 ). A 2006 survey by researchers at the University of California among homosexuals and heterosexual men found that more than half of homosexual men (51%) were not in any kind of long-term relationship. Among heterosexual men, this proportion was 15% ( Strohm 2006 ). A Canadian study of homosexuals in a relationship for at least one year found that only 25% had not had affairs. According to the author of the study:

“… Homosexual culture allows men to try different… forms of relationships, not just heterosexual-imposed monogamy…” (Lee 2003).

According to a 2013 study , approximately 70% of HIV infections among homosexuals occur through a regular partner, as the vast majority of infidelities occur without the use of a condom (Brady 2013). Marriage therapist Dr. Hayton described the attitudes of many homosexuals toward marriage:

"... Homosexuals are convinced and set an example that marital relations are temporary and mostly sexual in nature ... In the homosexual community, the prevailing opinion is that monogamy in marriage is not the norm and should not be encouraged in good" marriage "relationships ..." ( Hayton 1993).

A 2005 survey found that "40,3% of homosexual men in civil unions and 49,3% of those not in such unions discussed and agreed to have sexual relations outside the union. By comparison, among traditional couples, this figure was 3,5%" ( Solomon 2005 ).

Researcher Pollak found that "only a few homosexual relationships lasted more than two years, many of whom reported having had more than 100 sexual partners" (Pollak in Aries 1985 ).

Whitehead (2017) conducted a comparative study of the duration of relationships between heterosexual couples and registered homosexual partnerships based on an examination of the largest published studies in the United States and Britain ( Whitehead 2017 ). The average duration of ^five homosexual partnerships was 3,5 years, while the average duration of relationships in heterosexual families was 27 years; thus, the duration of relationships in officially registered homosexual partnerships is more than seven times shorter than that of heterosexual family relationships ( Whitehead 2017 ).

A homosexual-sympathetic author describes the relationship between homosexuals as follows:

"...in the gay world, the only real criterion of value is physical attractiveness... The young homosexual will find that he usually interests his fellow homosexuals only as a sex object. Although they may invite him to dinner and give him a place to stay, once they have satisfied their sexual interest in him, they are likely to forget about his existence and his personal needs." ( Hoffman 1968 )

In 2015, the US Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, requiring all states to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples and to recognize such licenses issued in other jurisdictions. However, as data from the American polling institute Gallup shows, homosexuals are slow to take advantage of their newly acquired rights. While 7.9% of American homosexuals were "married" (where legal) before the widespread legalization of same-sex marriage, after legalization, only 2.3% decided to formalize their relationship. A year after the Supreme Court's decision, only 9.5% of American homosexuals were in same-sex "marriages," with the majority of them over 50 ( Jones 2017 ). A similar picture is observed in the Netherlands, where same-sex marriage has been legal since 2001: only 12% of homosexuals are “married,” compared to 86% of their heterosexual peers.

Joseph Sciambra, quoted above, explains this by saying that homosexual men do not want to limit their sexual appetites to relationships with one partner:

"Under the imperative of male biology, freed from the objections of wives and girlfriends, homosexual men are prone to multiple partnerships and restlessness, hence the relatively low rate of same-sex marriage (9,6%), which increased by only 1,7% after the Obergefell decision, as well as the persistence of HIV infection among men in supposedly stable relationships. Relationships between homosexual men are predominantly not monogamous, but rather negotiated open relationships . Nevertheless, the appearance is created that equates male homosexuality with heterosexuality or even lesbianism" ( Sciambra 2017 ).

Unlike heterosexuals, “marriages”, “monogamy” and “fidelity” for homosexual men rarely mean one partner. So in the manual The Handbook of Family Diversity (1999) a study is presented in which many couples who consider themselves to be “monogamous” reported that over the past year they had an average of 3 – 5 partners.

British journalist Milo Yannopoulos describes the essence of gay relationships as follows:

“I always have one main boyfriend who can provide for me financially. Usually it’s a doctor, a banker, or something like that. And I also have a couple of friends for sex – personal trainers, athletes. I invite them, and the main boyfriend invites me… The thing is, we have opportunities that you don’t have. We have a very significant permissiveness that frees us from all formalities. That’s why gay marriage is so ridiculous. My God, who would want to be with one person – it’s terrible” ( Yiannopoulos 2016 ).

As practice shows, contrary to hysteria about same-sex marriage, the vast majority of homosexuals do not need them at all. How can this paradox be explained? To begin with, same-sex relationships are unstable in nature. If in a natural relationship, a man and a woman complement each other with their biological and psychological differences, then in same-sex relationships there is no harmony of complementarity, which is why homosexuals experience enduring dissatisfaction, expressed in an unceasing search. As the psychiatrist Edmund Bergler noted:

“The worst heterosexual relationships are an idyll compared to the best homosexual ones” ( Bergler 1956 , p. 17).

So the opportunity to marry a partner of the same sex does not change the fact that such relationships do not work.

A curious explanation for the lack of monogamy among gay men is offered by former homosexual William Aaron. It is noteworthy that he uses the word “homophile”, popular in 60's but forgotten now (like a bestiality, pedophile, etc.):

“In gay life, fidelity is virtually impossible. Since part of the homosexual compulsion seems to be the homophile’s need to ‘absorb’ the masculinity of his sexual partners, he must constantly be on the lookout for [new partners]. Consequently, the most successful homophilic ‘marriages’ are those in which the partners agree to have affairs on the side while maintaining the appearance of permanence in their life arrangement…Gay life is most typical and works best when sexual encounters are impersonal and even anonymous. As a group, the homosexuals I have known seem far more preoccupied with sex than heterosexuals…” ( William Aaron 1972 , p. 208)

Bergler, describing the psychological portrait of a typical homosexual, also notes the preference for anonymous sex and the constant dissatisfaction leading to an ongoing search:

“The typical homosexual is constantly on the lookout. His “cruising” (a homosexual term for finding a two-minute or at best a short-term partner) is more extensive than that of a heterosexual neurotic who specializes in one-night stands. According to homosexuals, this proves that they crave variety and have an insatiable sexual appetite. In fact, this only proves that homosexuality is a poor and unsatisfactory sexual diet. It also proves the existence of a constant masochistic desire for danger: every time on their cruises, a homosexual is at risk of beating, attempts at extortion or sexually transmitted diseases ... Many homosexual contacts take place in toilets, in obscurity parks and Turkish baths, where the sex object is not even visible. Such impersonal means of reaching “contact” make visiting a heterosexual brothel look like an emotional experience. ” (Bergler 1956, p. 16)

Here's how the activists Kirk and Madsen mentioned above describe the essence of homosexual relationships:

“Homosexuals are not very good at acquiring and retaining partners. Relations between them usually do not last long, although most sincerely seek to find a soul mate. In other words, everyone is looking, but no one is. How to explain this paradox? Firstly, this is due to the peculiarities of male physiology and psychology, which make a man’s sexual and romantic relationship with a man less stable in nature than a man’s relationship with a woman. On average, a woman’s sex drive is less intense than a man’s, and less aroused by visual stimuli. A woman is more sexually receptive to her emotions than to what she sees. Men, on the other hand, are not only more sexually preoccupied (almost always), but also quickly and very excited with the mere sight of an “ideal” partner.

Secondly, sexual arousal is highly dependent on "mystery", that is, the degree of unknown between partners. It is obvious that physically and emotionally, men are more alike than women, and therefore less unknown there. This, as a rule, leads homosexuals to quickly overwork from their partners. Interestingly, this is even more true for lesbians, whose passion passes very quickly, but since their sexual needs are relatively modest, they are easily satisfied with emotional relationships.

The only criterion by which most homosexuals choose their connections is sexual attractiveness. Constant relationships with strangers and people who are indifferent to them ultimately become stronger in the usual superficiality and unwillingness to judge by more important criteria. The creed of such a homosexual can be expressed as: “Karl, although an asshole, but he has a big eldak, perhaps I'll go home with him.”

Emotional immaturity, fear of obligations and a strong sense of inferiority lead many homosexuals to massive promiscuity. Confident at heart of their own worthlessness, they suppress this terrible feeling with constant confirmation that they are sexually desired, indulging in promiscuous sexual relations with anonymous partners. And although almost every homosexual will say that he would like to find true love, his demands are so exaggerated and unrealistic that he leaves himself almost no chance to meet such a person. For example, he should not drink, smoke, be interested in art, the beach, guacamole, look and behave like a straight man, dress well; have a sense of humor, a “right” social background; should not have much hair on the body; should be healthy, smoothly shaved, trimmed. . . well, you get the point.

Why do homosexuals put themselves in such a position? Firstly, because they prefer to live in fantasies than to deal with reality. Secondly, it gives them a convenient excuse why they still have no one, and that indiscriminate and impersonal sex is actually the search for that one.

“Unwillingness” to have any personal relationships is often a banal inability to have them. People suffering from this problem will go to any extreme to rationally explain their inadequacy, up to writing books that justify their “lifestyle” as a “revolutionary political statement” and “performance of vagrant artists of sexual street theater”.

When, for want of a better man, a homosexual man agrees to a mere mortal, the battle for love does not end there - it only begins. The average Joni Gay will tell you that he is looking for a “hassle-free” relationship in which the lover “is not too involved, does not make demands, and gives him enough personal space.” In reality, no space will be enough, because Joni is not looking for a lover, but for the “fuck buddy” henchman - a buddy for fucking, a kind of unpretentious household appliance. When an emotional attachment begins to appear in a relationship (which, in theory, should be the most reasonable reason for them), they cease to be comfortable, become “troublesome” and fall apart. Nevertheless, not all homosexuals are looking for such a dry "relationship." Some want a true mutual romance, and even find it. What happens then? Sooner or later, the one-eyed serpent will raise its ugly head.

The gay community has never had a tradition of fidelity. No matter how happy a gay man is with his lover, he'll likely eventually go looking for sex. The cheating rate among "married" gay men approaches 100% after a while. Men, as has already been said, are more excitable than women, who provide a stabilizing influence, and some pretty face on the subway or in the supermarket can easily turn their heads. Two gay men are double trouble, arithmetically squaring the likelihood of a fatal affair. Many gay couples, bowing to the inevitable, agree to "open relationships." Sometimes this works: after letting off some steam, the restless lover returns to the partner who is more important to them than anyone else. But it doesn't always work. Sometimes an open relationship suits one partner better than the other, who eventually admits they can't stand it and leaves. Sometimes it's simply a tacit admission that the relationship is no longer based on love, but on sexual and domestic convenience. The latter can become particularly vile: lovers, or rather roommates, become accomplices, helping each other find partners for a threesome" ( Kirk and Madsen 1990 ).

According to Dr. Nicolosi's clinical picture, both partners in homosexual relationships typically experience a defensive alienation from their own gender, stemming from childhood, and a need to compensate for it. Therefore, their relationships often take the form of an unrealistic idealization of the other man as a prototype of a masculine introject . By seeking relationships with other men and sexualizing them, the homosexual attempts to reintegrate a lost part of his personality. By pursuing another man to replenish his missing masculine qualities, the homosexual either develops a self-deprecating dependence on his partner or experiences bitter disappointment upon discovering in him the same masculinity deficit as himself.

Disappointed, he goes in search of another, more satisfying partner. Since his attraction arises from deficiency, he cannot love freely: his ambivalent attitude towards his gender and protective estrangement impede the establishment of trust and intimacy. He perceives other men only in terms of what they can do to make up for his insufficiency. In these respects they take, not give.

A depressed man can temporarily feel at his best with the help of anonymous sex - due to his arousal, intensity and even danger, with subsequent sexual discharge and an immediate decrease in tension. But this is only a matter of time, until he again becomes depressed, and again turns to anonymous sex as a short-term solution to his spiritual discomfort. Often a homosexual client reports seeking anonymous sex after an incident in which he felt ignored or offended by another man.

Partnership Violence

According to a health manual for LGBT* people , "Sexual minorities are more likely to experience serious physical and mental health conditions, such as domestic violence and substance abuse…" ( Makadon 2008 ). Lesbians are more likely than homosexual men to be victims and perpetrators of violence ( Waldner-Haugrud 1997 ² ).

An APA study found that 47,5% of lesbians had experienced physical violence from a partner. Among gay men, 38.8% reported partner violence ( Balsam 2005 ). Similar data were presented by the CDC: 40,4% of lesbians had experienced physical violence from a partner, 29,4% of whom experienced serious violence, including hitting, burning, or being slammed into something hard ( Walters 2013 ).

In a sample of battered homosexual men, 73% had experienced sexual violence by a partner ( Merrill 2000 ). Welles and colleagues found that 49% of black men in same-sex relationships had experienced physical violence, and 37% had experienced sexual violence ( Welles 2011 ).

The Journal of GLBT Family Studies reported that 70,2% of lesbians experienced psychological violence in the past year ( Matte & Lafontaine 2011 ). Another study found that 69% of women in same-sex relationships reported verbal aggression, and 77,5% reported controlling behavior from their partners. For homosexual men, the figures were 55,6% and 69,6%, respectively ( Messinger 2011 ) . According to a CDC review, an average of 63,5% of lesbians experienced psychological aggression from their partners, most often manifested as isolation from family and friends, humiliation, insults, and assurances that no one else cares about them ( Walters 2013 ).

Lie and colleagues note that aggression in lesbian relationships is most often reciprocal. In their sample, 23,1% of lesbians reported forced sex from their current partner, and 9,4% from their former partner. In addition, 55.1% reported verbal and emotional aggression ( Lie et al. 1991 ). Another study found that, compared with 17,8% of heterosexual women, 30,6% of lesbians had sex against their will ( Duncan 1990 ), and according to Waldner-Haugrud (19971 ⁾ , 50% of lesbians experienced forced penetration by their partner, which is only 5% less than for homosexual men.

A 1994 article in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence examined issues of relationship conflict and violence in female same-sex partnerships ( Lockhart 1994 ). The researchers found that 31% of respondents reported experiencing at least one episode of physical violence from their partner. According to Nichols (2000), 54% of same-sex women reported experiencing 10 or more episodes of violence from their partners, and 74% reported 6–10 episodes ( Nichols 2000 ).

The National Violence against Women Survey found that "same-sex cohabiting relationships have significantly higher rates of violence than different-sex relationships. 39% of cohabiting women reported physical and emotional abuse by their partners, compared with 21,7% of respondents in different-sex cohabiting relationships. Among men, the rates were 23,1% and 7,4%, respectively" ( CDC 2000 ).

In their paper, "Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them," Island and Letellier estimated that "the incidence of domestic violence in homosexual male partnerships is almost twice that in the heterosexual population" ( Island 1991 ).

According to a study published by the Government of Canada in 2006:

“…spousal violence occurred twice as often among same-sex couples as heterosexual couples: 15% and 7%, respectively” ( Statistics Canada – Catalogue no. 85-570 , p.39).

Additional Information

Additional information and details can be found in the following sources:

1. Dailey tj Comparing the Lifestyles of Homosexual Couples to Married Couples. Family Research Council. 2004.
2. Cameron P. Domestic violence among homosexual partners. Psychol Rep. 2003 Oct; 93 (2): 410-6. DOI: 10.2466 / pr0.2003.93.2.410
3. Reisman J. The Reisman & Johnson Report. Applied to “Homosexual Marriage” And “Hate Crimes”. Preliminary Progress Report... A Working draft 2008. First Principles Press. pp. 8 - 11.

Notes

1 English: "Faggots"
2 In 1982, respondents indicated that they had an average of 4,7 new partners during the previous month; 1984 - 2,5 new partners for the same period.
3 eng .: "Barebacking" - riding bareback. This refers to genital-anal penetration (“anal” sex) without a condom.
4 live with a “registered regular partner”
5 time from registration to termination of homosexual partnership or “marriage”