Kocharyan Garnik Surenovich, Chiremba wezveSainzi Sayenzi, Muzvinafundo weDhipatimendi rezvepabonde, Medical Psychology, Medical uye Psychological Rehabilitation yeKharkov Medical Academy. yakapa bhuku rinonzi "Shame and Loss of Attachment. Kushandiswa kwekurapa kurapa mukuita ". Munyori ndomumwe wevane mukurumbira uye nyanzvi dzinozivikanwa pasi rose mumunda wekurapa kurapa, muvambi weNational Association for the Study and Treatment of Homosexuality (NARTH) - Dr. Joseph Nikolosi. Iri bhuku rakatanga kuburitswa muUnited States mugore ra2009 pasi pemusoro unoti "Kunyadzisa uye Kubatanidza Kurasikirwa: Basa Rinoshanda reReparative Therapy".

Mubhuku rake, Dr. Nicolosi anokurukura kana kurapwa kweanoda kurochwa kuchinzi kunogamuchirwa. Mukufunga kwake, chishuwo chevamwe mazvikokota kuti varambidze zviri pamutemo kurapwa kwakadai zvinopesana nechishuvo chekusiyana kwakataurwa nerusununguko nhasi. Chokwadi, murwere anotambura nekukwezva ungochani uye anoda kumubvisa ane kodzero yekugamuchira rubatsiro rwakakodzera, nekuti kana zvisiri izvo kungave kuri kutyora kodzero dzevanhu.

Pfungwa dzakatenderedzwa nemapato anofarira iyo kutendeuka (kurara pamwe, kurudziro, kusiyanisa) kurapwa, uko hakuna kubudirira kuedza kurambidza zvizere, sezvo zvinofungidzirwa kuti hazvigone kushanda, uyezve, zvinokuvadza zvakanyanya, kukanganisa. Izvi, kunyanya, zvinoratidzwa nemhedzisiro yekutanga yakanyatsorongwa yakakura yakakura kudzidza kwekushandurwa kweshanduko (yakaongororwa nevanhu ve882), iyo inoratidza kuti 45% yeavo vaizviona sevachingochani ngochani vakachinja tsika yavo yekuita zvepabonde kuti ive yehukombwe kana kuve yakakura heterochani pane ngochani (J. Nicolosi, 2000). Icho chiitiko chebasa redu rekiriniki, pamwe nedzimwe nyanzvi dzakawanda, zvakare chinoratidza kugona kunobvira kwekushandura kurapa.

Dr. Nicolosi anocherekedza kuti kutarisisa kwechokwadi chimiro cheungochani kunoratidza kuti, kunyangwe pasina kurangarira mhedzisiro yayo yakawanda yakaipa munharaunda, hakusi kuratidzwa kusingakuvadzi kwekusiyana kwevanhu, asi chimiro chinoratidzwa nekuvhiringidzika kwepfungwa. Mukupesana nemaonero ekuti matambudziko ese epfungwa eungochani ane chekuita nekusatenderwa munharaunda, munyori anokwevera kutarisisa kuvepo kwezvinhu zvinonetsa zvinowanikwa muhungochani pachayo. Sehumbowo, anotaura chokwadi chekuti huwandu hwematambudziko epfungwa pakati pengochani hauna kudzikira mumaguta anoshamwaridzana nengochani seSan Francisco kana nyika dzinoshivirira ngochani dzakaita seNetherlands neDenmark.

Kune akawanda anogona kusanganiswa kwezvikonzero zvekukwezva ungochani. Mune yega yega, izvi zvinhu zvinosangana nenzira yavo. Muenzaniso wemunyori wakanangidzirwa wekuumba kukwezva kweungochani inotarisa pamasimba ezvisikwa (kugamuchira hasha), asi kusvika pakanyanya kusakwanisa kwevabereki kuchengetedza kuzivikanwa kwemukomana. Rimwe danho rinotambwa nekusaziva kwakaitika kwekudyidzana nevezera rimwechete. Zvese izvi zvinotungamira kune kunzwa kwekusarudzika kubva kuvarume, umo mukomana anokwezvawa neake bonde, anotora vamwe varume zvisinganzwisisike uye zvakasiyana naye.

Dr. Nicholas anoti munharaunda yevamwe varume, vazhinji vanoita ngochani vanonzwa vasina kugadzikana, uye zvikonzero zveizvi zvinogona kuwanikwa vachiri vadiki. Izvi zvinokonzerwa nekuparadzaniswa kwababa, chaiko kwekusimudzira kwemurume ngochani uye anodzika mu etiology yekukwezva-murume kana murume. Varume vane humwe hunhu hwekuchishuva vanotsvaga hukama nevamwe varume, sezvavanotsvaga kuporeswa kubva paronda iro rakabviswa nababa vavo. Ivo vari mukutsvaga nguva dzose kwehukama hwepedyo nevarume, asi panguva imwechete ivo vanotya hukama huno. Kune murume ari kuedza kukunda dambudziko rake rechingochani, zvakakosha kutanga uye kudzamisa hushamwari hwevanhurume. Iye munyori anotenda kuti kushamwaridzana nehukadzi nevarume avo vanoita zvepabonde zvinoratidzika nemurwere zvinopa mukana wakanyanya wekupora.

Kazhinji kazhinji kwete kudaro, hunhu-hwebonde maitiro ekuedza kudzoreredza kubatana kuna baba. Iko kusipo kwekubatanidzwa uku kunogadziriswa neungochani, fungidziro, uye kufungidzira. Asi hazvisi zvinhu zvese zvinodzikira chete nekuda kwekushomeka kwekubatanidzirwa muhurongwa hwababa-mwanakomana. Mune zvinoverengeka zviitiko, kushayikwa kwekubatanidzwa kunogona kunge kwakadzika mumatambudziko ekugadziriswa mu "amai-mwanakomana" system. Iko kushanda kweanodzokorora kurapa kunosimbiswa nekushandisa nzira dzinoongorora matambudziko ekutanga ehukama hwaamai nemwanakomana.

Muchitsauko chakazvipira kupa mazano kune vechidiki uye zvinonzwisisika zvekururamisa kwavo, Dr. Nicolosi anoshuma pamusoro pesimba rakaipa remagariro evanhu pakuumbwa kwekuzivikanwa kwevakadzi uye kutungamirirwa kwechido chepabonde. Tiri kutaura nezvekuwedzera kwenhamba yevadzidzi vanozviona sevanhukadzi kana ngochani, uye kuwedzera kwenhamba yevechiri kuyaruka vane dambudziko rekuzivikanwa kwavo kwepabonde. Huwandu hwekubuda huri kuramba huchiwedzerawo. Anonyatso batanidza izvi nekuwedzera kukurumbira kwe "gayism" sechinhu chine fashoni uye chinoratidzika.

Mubhuku rake, Dr. Nicholas anoratidzira zvikamu zvina zveungochani kuzivikanwa zvakabatana nemamwe mazera epakati, uye zvakare zvakakwirira pregender и postgender ngochani, zvakatemwa, zvichiteerana, mu80 uye 20% yemhosva.

Iyo yekutanga musiyano wekuumbwa inosanganiswa neyemhuri psychodynamics. Semaonero ake, muenzaniso wemhuri "inogadzira mwanakomana ngochani" kazhinji haigone kuvimbisa kusekwa kwemurume kwemukomana padanho rekuumbwa kwake kuzivikanwa kwechikadzi. (Kujekeserwa ndiko theoretical kuvaka kweyekuongorora psychology, ichiratidza kukura kwevanhu kuburikidza nekubatanidzwa kwe kuziva uye kusaziva chinhu.) Mubasa rake, Dr. Nicholas anowanzo sangana neimwe nzira yemhuri, iyo inosanganisa miviri mienzaniso iyo inoputsa munhukadzi kuteedzeredzwa - iyo yakarongeka katatu mhuri uye narcissistic mhuri. Pamwe chete vanoumba izvo zvavanodaidza kuti ndudzi nhatu-narcissistic mhuri.

Mhuri nhatu ino sistimu inosanganisira amai vanonyanya kudzidzisa vana uye baba vakaoma / vakadzivirirwa. Kufananidza nehunhu hwemwanakomana mumhuri yakadai, Nicolosi anomutsanangura seanofungidzika, kutya, kufungidzira, kugadzira uye kufungidzira. Vanaamai vanotenda kuti kana vachienzaniswa nevamwe vavo vana, vana ava vanonzwa hunyoro uye hunyoro, hunyanzvi hwekutaura uye hunhu hwekuda kukwana hunonyanya kutaurwa. Izvo zvinosimbiswa kuti kunyangwe kupisa kunowanzo kuve kwakasarudzika kwehupenyu, humwe hwehu hunhu (kunyanya kushamisika uye hunoshamisa) hunogona kuwanikwa. Chimiro chine hunyoro uye chinonwisa mvura chemwana chinokurudzira amai kuti vabatane naye, izvo zvinomutsausa kubva pakukudziridza kwenguva dzose munzira yekuzvishongedza chaiko. Ukama pakati pababa nemwanakomana usawedzera. Iye mukomana anoona baba vake vadzingwa uye vachitsoropodza, hapana nzwisiso uye hukama pakati pehukama pakati pavo, izvo zvinotungamira kukutyorwa kwekuumbwa kwemukomana kuzivikanwa kwechikadzi kwechirume. Iye anoona baba seisina kuchengetedzeka / isina kukodzera chinhu chiratidzo. Varwere vaNicolosy vanowanzoti: "Handina kumbonzwisisa baba vangu." "Chii chaaive, chaanga asiri." "Aigara achinyora low low." "Aive asingakwanisi kubatika, kunge chiumbwa."

Chinhu chinotevera chine mupiro wakashata mune izvi. Sezvo mai vacho vanosiyanisa mwanakomana wavo kubva kune vamwe vamiriri vechirume, nekuda kwehunhu hwepfungwa, izvo, mumaonero ake, zvinomuita nani pane vamwe varume, haafanire kuwana hunhurume kuti atore nzvimbo yake munyika. Mamiriro ezvinhu "Ini naamai vangu tinopesana nezvipuka zvechirume zvine hutsinye" zvinoita kuti zvisabve mukuparadzanisa mukomana (iyeyeutsi), zvichimutadzisa kuwana mukati me simba rehurume hwaanodiwa kwaari. Mhedzisiro yacho ndeye kufarira kwemukomana kwechikamu icho chakabatanidzwa chezita rake, chaakatadza kugadza. Anotanga kumutsvaga "kumwe kunze uko" mumufananidzo wemumwe murume, achinzwa murudo, uyo obva awana zvinorehwa.

Achiona basa revabereki mukuumbwa kwemurume, Nicolosi anoti mukomana ane hutano anoziva uye anofara kuti "kwete chete kuti" Ini "asiwo kuti" Ndiri mukomana ". Mune zvimwe zviitiko, vabereki vanoshingairira kumuranga nekuda kwehunhu hwechirume nekuti vanomuona seane ngozi kana asina kugadzikana. Mune zvimwe zviitiko, kana mukomana akaberekwa aine hushoma hunhu, ivo havaedzi kuwana iko kwekuonekwa kwechirume, iko mukomana uyu anoda rubatsiro rwakakosha. Kuti asimbise maonero ake, Dr. Nicolosi inoreva chirevo chaStoller chekuti masculinity kugona, kwete kupihwa. Akanyanya kushushikana nekushungurudzika kwepfungwa kunoitika panguva yekuvandudzwa nekuumbwa kwevarume.

Prehomochani mukomana, anonyora Dr. Nicolosi, inowana zororo murudo nemubereki wese munzira dzakasiyana. Kazhinji anonzwa kuti baba vake vari kumufuratira kana kuti vanomuzvidza, uye amai vake vari kumuteedzera. Vabereki vaviri vanogona, nenzira yavo, sekugona kwavo, kuda mwana, asi panguva yekutaurirana pane imwe nhanho vanoratidza kuti "iye" wake chaiye haagamuchiriki munzira imwe neimwe.

Kana kurasikirwa uku kwekubatana kunonzwika nemwana akakurira mune hutatu-narcissistic mhuri yemhuri, zvido zvake zvisina basa zvinoramba zviripo, uye kurasikirwa uku kunochengetwa mundangariro dzemuviri. Nekuda kweizvozvo, iyo inotevera kuteedzana kunovakwa:

1) kurasikirwa kwekubatanidzwa kwekutanga;
2) inokonzerwa nehunhu hwechikadzi;
3) kutsiva kukanganisa kwevakadzi kuburikidza neungochani.

Ungochani hunoita, anonyora G. Nicolosi, kuzvidzivirira kwekuchema nekuda kwekurasikirwa nekubatana kwechokwadi kune mumwe wevabereki. Kushanda kuburikidza nekuchema kunosangana nekusaziva uye kukanganisa, zvidziviriro zviviri zvine simba. Kufungidzira ipfungwa dzenhema dzakanaka dzinotungamirwa narcissism. Muenzaniso wekufungidzira chaiko chirevo ichi: “Ndiri kutsvaga mukadzi akanaka kwazvo ane hanya nezvandinoda uye anondinzwisisa zvizere Kana ndangowana chete ndipo pandinozozviona ndagadzirira kuroora. " Mukupesana, kumonyanisa ipfungwa dzenhema dzisina kunaka dzakanangana nenyadzi. Ivo vanoyerera kubva kune yakakuvara yega uye vanotungamira kune inoparadza, yekuzviparadza-yega uye yakashata maitiro. Muenzaniso wekukanganisa chirevo chinotevera: "Hapana musikana achazombondida kana achindiziva chaizvo."

Kana kufungidzira uye kukanganisa kwakadzika midzi midziyo yehucheche kusara kuchikosheswa, saka kuchine chinosemesa mukati. Asangana nemanzwiro asingafadzi uye anonzwa anorwadza mumuviri pamberi peanorapwa, murwere anotanga kunzwa zvakanaka. Nekuda kwekudzokorora kwekudzidza kwekushungurudzika, kuparadza zvishoma nezvishoma uye zvishoma nezvishoma kweiyo hwaro hwekusakosha kweungochani kuita kunze kwemurwere kunoitika, uko kunopinda mukati memashure.

Mushure mekuita kwekusuwa, anodaro J. Nicolosi, varwere vanonzwisisa zviri nani vanhu vakadeedza hupenyu hwavo hwekare. Kuita uku hakungovhura maziso avo kune nhengo dzakakosha dzemhuri yavo, asi zvakare kunovadzidzisa kuti vabatane nekuzvibata kwemunhu mukuru anoramba chishuvo chaaimbova nacho kuitira kuti vanhu vanopinda zvakananga muhupenyu hwake vave nani kana kuti vatadze kupfuura ivo. ndizvo zvazviri. Mhedzisiro yeichi chiitiko zvakare kurambwa kwekusaziva kwekuti munhu wese ane chikwereti, kuti vanhu muhupenyu hwazvino vanosungirwa kubhadhara zvichemo zvako zvakapfuura. Kubviswa kwekushungurudzika kunopera mushure mekunge munhu awana kugona kusiyira iko kunyepedzera izvo zvaakashandisa kuvanza kurwadziwa kwekurasikirwa. Mushure mekusuwa, anogona kurarama hupenyu hwakaperera, hwakajeka uye hwechokwadi.

Munyori anoratidza kuumbwa kwechipiri sarudzo (yepashure-echikadzi rudzi) seinotevera. Anoti murwere wepashure-echikadzi akabudirira kupedza chikamu chekuzivikanwa kwevakadzi, asi akazosangana neimwe nzira yekushungurudzika iyo homoerotic kuchiva yakave kutonga kwemabatiro. Kuve nehunhu hwechirume uye zvisiri zvevakadzi maitiro, varwere ava vanoita kunge "vakangwara", asi panguva imwechete ivo vanonzwa mukati mavo kudikanwa kunovhiringidza kwerudo rwechirume. Kukuvara kwepashure kunowanzo kukonzerwa nehama yakura, baba, vanoita zvechisimba uye kudheerera kuchikoro. Inogona zvakare kumuka nekuda kwekushungurudzwa kwepabonde kana nekuda kwaamai vasina kugadzikana "eccentric" amai iyo yakakonzera kutya kwakasimba uye kutsamwa, izvo murwere zvino zvinopararira kune vese vakadzi uye izvo zvinomutadzisa kutanga hukama hwakakomba pamwe navo. Varume ava vanoita kunge “vakomana,” asi havana chokwadi nezvehurume hwavo. Iko kukwezva-kurara kunokwezva kwevarwere vakadai hakufambiswi nechishuvo chekuva nehunhu hwehurume hwemumwe murume, asi nechishuwo chekuregedza kushushikana kuburikidza nerutsigiro rwevarume uye nyaradzo, izvo zvinoderedza kunetseka kwavo.

Munyori anorondedzera pamusoro pekushanduka kwemaonero ake nezveungochani. Kana pakutanga akatenda kuti ungochani kwaive kutsiva kuyedza kudzorera kushomeka kwehunhu hwevakadzi, ikozvino anozviona sechimwe chinhu: padanho rakadzika, ndiko kuzvidzivirira pakurwadziwa kwakanyanya kunokonzerwa nekurasikirwa nechisungo. Chokwadi cheiyi pfungwa, anodaro, chakasimbiswa kanopfuura kamwe nevarume vaakabvunza. Ungochani hunovharidzira kutambura kwekurasikirwa kwakadzama uye hunoshanda sechinguva chidiki (kunyangwe hazvo husingazadzise) kutsauka kubva kunjodzi inosangana nedambudziko rekushungurudzika kwekurasikirwa nechisungo. Ungochani hunoita, maererano nekunzwisisa kwake, inzira yekuripa (kudzoreredza), iko kuedza kusaziva kwekutsiva. Kubudikidza nekukwezva kune bonde rake, murume anoedza kuzadza chisingaenzanisike chinodiwa chekucherechedzwa, rudo, kutenderwa kubva kune vamiriri vebonde rimwe chete, uyezve kubvisa kushomeka kwehunhu hwevakadzi.

Foreword Vyacheslav Khalansky, chiremba wepfungwa uye psychotherapist.

Ongorora Robert Perloff, aimbova purezidhendi weAmerican Psychological Association, purofesa anobuda paYunivhesiti yePittsburgh.

Ongorora prof. Bilobrivki R. I., Musoro weDhipatimendi rePfungwa, Psychology uye Bonde, Lviv National Medical University Daniil weGalitsky.

Ongorora Hermann Hartfeld, DRS, Theol., PhD.

Ongorora Mutevedzeri wePedagogical Sayenzi, Batanidza Profesa Galina V. Katolik, Musoro weDhipatimendi rePsychology uye Psychotherapy yeUkraine Catholic University, Mutungamiriri weUkraine Institute of Child nevechidiki Psychotherapy uye Mhuri Counselling, nhengo yeAFA.

Ongorora Taras Nikolaevich Dyatlik, Sachigaro weBhodi yeInternational Council yeEvangelical Theological Education, Dunhu Mutungamiriri weOldseas Council Int. yeEuro-Asia, mukuru wedhipatimendi rekuvandudza dzidzo yeEuro-Asia Accredation Association.

Ongorora Elena Yaremko, chiremba wezvepfungwa, psychotherapist (wokubatanidza psychotherapy wechiKristu); ChiUkraine Catholic University.

Ongorora Kocharyan Garnik Surenovich, MD, purofesa weDhipatimendi reBonde, Medical Psychology, Kurapa uye Kudzikamisa Kwepfungwa kweKharkov Medical Academy yePostgraduate Dzidzo

Ruzivo rwakazara nezve munyori, zvinyorwa zvake uye mabhuku (mune yeruzhinji zita) anotumirwa pawebhusaiti yake  http://gskochar.narod.ru

Mukuwedzera

Hondo yezvakajairwa - Gerard Aardweg

Kukwezva ungochani kunogadzirwa sei?