Mu1989, vaviri Harvard vanoita zvekuramba yakabudiswa riri bhuku rinotsanangura chirongwa chekushandura maitiro eruzhinji kuenda kungochani kuburikidza nekuparadzira, izvo nheyo dzakakosha dzinokurukurwa pano. Muchitsauko chekupedzisira chebhuku, vanyori vakazvinyora vakatsanangura 10 matambudziko akakosha pamaitiro eungochani, ayo anofanirwa kugadziriswa kuitira kuti agadzirise mufananidzo wavo mumeso eruzhinji. Vanyori vanonyora kuti ngochani dzinoramba marudzi ese etsika; kuti vanoita zvepabonde munzvimbo dzinowanikwa veruzhinji, uye kana vakapinda munzira, vanotanga kupururudza nezve kudzvinyirira uye kurohwa; kuti ivo ndevanyongori, vanonyengera, vane udyire, vanowanzoreva nhema, kupokana, hutsinye, hutsinye, kuzviparadza, kuramba chokwadi, kunyepa, kuzvitonga kwezvematongerwo enyika nemazano anopenga. Zvinonakidza kucherechedza kuti 40 makore apfuura, aya hunhu aive angangoita one-to-one akatsanangurwa nachiremba anozivikanwa wezvepfungwa anonzi Edmund Bergler, uyo akadzidza nezveungochani kwemakore 30 uye akazivikanwa se "muongorori anonyanya kukosha" munyaya iyi. Zvakatora vanyori kupfuura mapeji e80 kuti vatsanangure matambudziko ane chokuita nemararamiro evanhu vanoita gay. LGBT activist Igor Kochetkov (munhu anoita semumiriri wekunze) muhurukuro yake "Masimba ezvematongerwo enyika esangano reLBBT: vafambisi vezita vakawana sei chinangwa chavo" akataura kuti bhuku iri rave ABC yevanoshandira LGBT kupota nyika, kusanganisira kuRussia, uye vazhinji vachiri kutenderera kubva mumisimboti inotsanangurwa mariri. Kumubvunzo: "Nharaunda yeNBBT yakabvisira matambudziko aya here?" Igor Kochetkov akapindura nekumubvisa uye kubvunza kurambidzwa, achisimbisa, sezviri pachena, kuti matambudziko akaramba aripo. Iri rinotevera rondedzero pfupi.

1. Nhema, nhema uye zvakare nhema
2. Kurambwa kwetsika
3. Narcissism uye maitiro eudyire
4. Kuzvigutsa, kuzviparadza
5. Kushungurudzwa neveruzhinji
6. Maitiro akashata mumabhawa
7. Maitiro asina kufanira ehukama
8. Emotional blocking uye anesthesia
9. Kuramba kwechokwadi, kusafunga kufunga uye mythomania
10. Kwezvematongerwo enyika gay fascism uye kudzvinyirira kwemaitiro ezvematongerwo enyika

Yedu yenharaunda Mamiriro Eko: Gay Pride Precedes Fall

Chinangwa chedu ndechekunyora chitsauko ichi chisina kunaka

Isu takazivisa chirongwa chacho yakakura PR mushandirapamwe, iyo inofanirwa kuchenesa yedu isina kuchena mufananidzo, asi kunyangwe yakasarudzika mhedzisiro munyika haizogone kuchengetedza mufananidzo wakanaka munguva refu, kana tikasanyatso chena. Parizvino, mhino dzedu (uye dzimwe nhengo dzemuviri) dziri kure nokuchena. Nzvimbo dzakasimba dzinovenga isu kwete nekuda kwe ngano dzadzo, asiwo nekuda kwezvatinomiririra. Ivo vari chokwadi kuti gay mararamiro - kwete edu zvepabonde, asi mararamiro edu - iri dambudziko rakakura. Ichi chitsauko chinokuudza kuti chii chiri kunetsa kune vakawanda ngochani uye nei.

Chii? Vanhu havafanirwe kunanga here?

Nehurombo kwete. Ehe, ivo vari kupomera kutambudzika kwedu, asi chingave chikanganiso kuramba kuti mhosva yedu zvakare munzira yavanosangana nesu. Kwemakore apfuura, isu tange tichiona maitiro engochani ayo airatidzika kunge asina kusimira, ane udyire, anoparadza, akapusa uye akaipa. Iyi nharaunda yakakosha kwazvo kuti tigare kumashure uye chinyararire vakadzungudza misoro yavo kune kurohwa kweiyo rwiyo rwematongerwo enyika rwakajeka "Zvese zviri gay zvakanaka." Chinangwa chedu pano kutsoropodza kunovaka. Tinoratidza mapoka gumi ezvisingatenderwe maitiro - zvinoitwa nevakawanda ngochani uye izvo vatungamiriri veungochani vanorumbidza uye vanokoshesa sechikamu che “mararamiro” edu. Izvi hazvichakwanisi kuenderera mberi nekuda kwezvikonzero zviviri: chekutanga, tinotarisa zvakashata nekuda kweichi mumaziso evanhu vakatwasuka, uye chechipiri, zvinounza kutambudzika zvisingaite uye kunodzora hupenyu hwehupenyu munharaunda yeungochani.

1. Nhema, nhema uye zvakare nhema

Kana wechidiki ngochani paanoziva kuti haana kufanana nevamwe vese, anogara achirwadziwa, kutya uye kuda kunyepa. Kunyangwe kana asingatombonetseka neungochani, anowana chimwe chinoshamisa chekuti pane anoziva chimwe chinhu nezvake zvisingazivikanwe nevamwe. Nhema dzinogara dzichifamba kwenguva dzinopedzisira dzazvidemba, uye vanhu vari kuwedzera kutanga kuita izvi, vachisangana nematambudziko munzvimbo chero yehupenyu. Zvinonyatsozviratidza kuti kudzokorora kwechivi chipi zvacho kunofukidza hana nefungidziro, uye kunyepa hakuna musiyano kumutemo uyu.

Mumwe wemienzaniso yepamusoro yenhema dzengochani kushambadzira kushambadzira. Iwe haugone kuvimba nechero chii zvacho chezvakanyorwa mavari. Anemakore makumi maviri nemana ane makore akasvibirira akasviba uye ane muswe mutswanda mushambadzi nguva dzose anozove ane makore makumi mana ekuzvarwa mabharuni ane rakakura dumbu rinofamba richidzika pasi peT-shati rakarongedzwa chikafu. Kune kwako kutsamwa, anopindura zvinyoro-nyoro achiti: "Tese tinoda kunyanyisa zvishoma kana tichida mutambo."

Vadzidzi vazhinji vehukama hwemagariro hunhu mumabasa avo iyo yakakura kwazvo chikamu chevanhu venhema venhema. Kazhinji inogona kuve isingakuvadzi vanorota, vachigadzira ngano, asi zvakanyanya kuvashamisa ivo vanogona kushandura nhema dzavo kuita purofiti vova scammers. Nekunetseka kubata uye kugona kukurudzira kuvimba, vanosarudza kurarama manyepo, vachinamatira senge pararira kune vane rupo uye kuvimba. Rudzi urwu runowana vakura ngochani avo vanowanzova vasina kuroora uye vanoda kuvimba nejaya rinokwezva. Nemachina avo vanopenyesa hupenyu hwezuva nezuva hwevamwe vakweguru vekushongedza zvemukati avo, vachimuka mamwe mangwanani, vanoona kuti Platinamu American Express, Rolex, swemm swe sweta nemazana mashanu emadhora pamari vanyangarika vasina kuteedzera. Ramba uchifunga kuti mhedzisiro yekubiridzira inogona kuenda zvakapfuura miganhu yenharaunda yeungochani, kunonoka basa ratinoita nevanhu vakananga kwemakumi emakore. Hatidi kushambadza zvakadaro.

2. Kurambwa kwetsika

Oscar Wilde akati: "Nzira chete yekubvisa muedzo kupa mukati mayo." Echoes ake akashata manzwiro akanzwikwa munhurume gay kwemakumi emakore kusvika nhasi. Kuramba kwakajeka uye kwakazara kwetsika nehuchani chinhu chaicho, chinopararira, uye chinoshatisa mukukanganisa kwavo hupenyu hwemunharaunda uye hukama hwedu nemadhara.

Jaya rakatarisana nemanzwiro ake eungochani ane nzira mbiri: anogona kugamuchira tsika dziripo uye azvivenge, kana kuzvidzokorora, uye, achiramba kusarudzika kwaJudeo-kristu nezveungochani, ogadzira tsika yake, obva adzora kuvenga kwake nekuzvivimba. . Maiwe, kune vakawanda ngochani, kufunga zvekare hakugumiri ipapo. Vanoenda zvakanyanyisa, vachisarudza kuti izvi zvose hazvina musoro, uye vanosiya 100% yezvavanotenda zvekare. Kune vakawanda, kukosha kwekureva nhema ndiko kutanga kwekutanga mumadziro. Kana iwe usingagamuchire kurambidzwa kwenhema, saka nei uchifanira kugamuchira zvimwe zvinorambidzwa?

Pane kubvumirana pakati peve ngochani vemumaguta kuti munhu wese ane kodzero yekuita sezvaanoda, uye kuti hapana munhu anofanira kushora maitiro emumwe - rudzi rwakatsauka "usatonge, usatongwa". Kungosarudzika kumutemo uyu, chokwadi, ikodzero yekutonga nekukurumidza uye nehutsinye "nekuda kwekufunga kwechinyakare" chero munhu anotendeukira kune chero chimiro. Muchokwadi, iyo sisitimu yose inonamira kune imwe axiom: "Kana ini ndichida, ndichazviita uye ndoenda kugehena!" Uye izvo ngochani zvinoita kuita kazhinji zvinosanganisira nhema, udyire, kuzvishingisa, kuzviparadza, utsinye , kutuka, kurova uye kumukira. Kana ngochani achida kunyadzisa muenzi akashata pamabiko, anenge aine hutsinye uye achinyangadza sezvinobvira, ozozviratidza se "kuratidzwa kunonakidza kwekunzwa zveungochani." Kana achida kunyengedza iye anoda shamwari yake yepamoyo - achazviita, achiruramisa zviito zvake nechiitiko che "kusununguka pabonde", uye kugehena neshamwari. Kana achida kuzviparadza nemishonga uye doro nekuda kwekungonakidzwa kwechinguva, anonwa kusvika pasi.

Takawana kuti mune gay pindani dzidziso iyi yakavezwa mudombo. Kunyanya kuwanda kwemaitiro, ndiko kwanyanya kunofanira kuonekwa se "mhemberero yekuziva kwedu kwakasiyana uye tsika." Chero chipikiso, kunyangwe akapokana sei, achasangana nekukurumidza uye kwakaomarara kurwisa, achivimba nekugadzirira akagadzirwa, uyezve, asina kupindurwa, adomminem nharo: "Varume vanoita zvoungochani vanoshora mararamiro edu havakwanisi kungogamuchira humhombwe hwavo uye vanowedzera kuvenga kwavo munharaunda yakavapoteredza. " Saka kana mumwe munhu asingagutsikane neanozvitapura, sadomasochists uye mauddist vari kufora gay parade, uko dhiraivhu anopa vhezheni wepipi kune vana vadiki, anongozvivenga iye.

Chishamiso ndechekuti, ngochani, vanhu vazhinji ngochani vakasiya zvitendero zvechinyakare vanoona kuti zvakawanikwa hazvisi nyore kuregera. Vanotsvaga chimwe chinhu kuti vazadze nacho, vanotendeukira kunopaganism, zvemashiripiti, New Age uye mamwe schizoterics. Saka kune macommunes akadaro "Radical fairies". Sokutaura kwakaita imwe yenhengo dzayo: "Tine zvinhu zvese, asi isu taishuvira chimwe chinhu chatisina, uye hatina kuziva kuti chii." Izvo ngochani zvavanoda vasingazive ivo kudzoka kune pfungwa yehutsvene uye chimiro chetsika mukati umo vanogona kutangazve kutenda uye kuvimba mumwe nemumwe.

Kurambwa kwehunhu kunosiya iye akaramba kutenda pasina chero maitiro ekuzvidzora uye zvaasingakwanisi kuita kwake ega. Kuparadza kunofanirwa kuteverwa nekuvakazve, asi ngochani kukanganwa nezvechikamu chechipiri cheizvi axiom, izvo zvinounza kutungamira kuzvibata uye kuzvifunga.

3. Narcissism uye maitiro eudyire

Kunyepa kunoita kuti vamwe varambe hunhu, uye kuramba hunhu kunotungamira pakufumurwa. Kutaura nezve narcissism, isu hatirevi kungova zvisina zvazvinobatsira, asi mamiriro ezvinhu ekuzvinyudza uye kusakwanisa kunzwira tsitsi nematambudziko evamwe, apo kusavimbika chinhu chimwe chete chezviratidzo. Hutachiona uye hunhu hwehunhu hwekuvhiringidzika - mbiri dzinopindirana dzemakiriniki dzinozivikanwa neAmerican Psychiatric Association, dzinotsanangurwa nemitsara inotevera:

"Varwere vane hysterical vanonyanya kushamisa uye vanogara vachikwezva kutarisa. . . kukurumidza kuwedzeredza. . . tamba zvitunha se“muchinda” usingazvizivi. . . nyore kufara. . . kutsamwa kusina musoro. . . kuputika nehasha. . . kuda zvitsva, kukurudzira, kufara. . . kurumidza kufinhwa. . . shallow. . . kusavimbika. . . zvinoyevedza. . . kurumidza kuumba ushamwari. . . vanoda, vanongozvifunga, vasina njere. . . manipulative. . . kutyisidzira kuzviuraya, zviratidzo uye kuedza. . . anoyevedza, anokwezva. . . pasina. . . tiza mufungidziro dzorudo. . . maitiro acho anowanzova caricature yevakadzi. . . unzenza. . . kufarira kushoma mukungwarira, kufunga kwekuongorora, kunyangwe kugadzira uye kunoshamisa. . . vanopesvedzerwa nemadiro. . . kungwara kusina midzi. . . kazhinji inobatanidzwa nemhando yeungochani yekumuka. . . Kushandisa zvinodhaka chinhu chinowanzoitika. . . [Varwere veNarcissistic, kuwedzera kune zviri pamusoro] vane pfungwa huru yekuzvikoshesa. . . vanoda kugara vachitarisirwa uye kuyemurwa. . . Kunyanya kufunga kwemudiwa muhukama kunotsiviwa nekuderera kwake kwakakwana. . . kushaya tsitsi. . . kunyanyisa kuzvida uye kuzvibata. . . fungidziro dzezvisingaperi zvingangoitika, simba, upfumi, kupenya, runako, kana rudo rwakakwana. . . Chitarisiko chakakosha kudarika zvinhu. . . kudiwa kwekuonekwa mukambani yevanhu "vakarurama". . . kushandiswa. . . Kushaikwa kwehukama hwakanaka hwehukama muhukama nevamwe. . . kushushikana nekuchengetedza pwere. . . kunyepa chaiko. . "

Kukuyeuchidza nezvemumwe munhu waunoziva? Izvi hazvisi nekuti ungochani hauna hutano, asi nekuti vamwe ngochani havana hutano. Nefananidzo: ungochani pachako hautungamiri kune AIDS, asi mararamiro echinyakare eungochani inzira huru kubata AIDS. Nekudaro, mararamiro ezve ngochani, anopomedzerwa nevanhu vakananga uye mamwe mahohwa, anodzora kuramba kwavo kune hunhu. Nekuda kweizvozvo, tinoona kuti munharaunda yeungochani, kune zvinopfuura pamusoro peAIDS chete, asiwo hutsinye uye hunhu hwechisimba.

Hatisi kuzoenda kune idiotic yakanyanya kudana vese ngochani hysterical uye narcissistic. Aya mazwi anomiririra kwakanyanya kweiyo wone iyo mumwe nemumwe wedu anowira mariri, uye mutsauko uripo pakati pe pathology neuice unongowanda. Asi zvinoratidzika kwatiri kuti mashoga akawanda kupfuura vanhu vakananga vanowira munzvimbo dziri kure dzekupenya. Sezviri pachena, iyo yakasarudzika nzvimbo yemagariro ngochani inoshandura iyo yakawanda yavo kuve nyore kubata kwemuyedzo, kunyengera uye narcissism, iyo inomiririra nzira iri nyore yekubudira mumatambudziko ehupenyu hweungochani, asi zvinowanzotungamira kumatambudziko ehunhu.

Mienzaniso miviri yakatanhamara yemaitiro eudyire: kuramba kupa rutsigiro rwemari kumasangano anoshanda kuti abatsire munharaunda yese yeungochani, uye kuramba kuita zvepabonde zvakachengeteka. Chii chinogona kutaurwa nezvemunhu akadaro Gaetan Duga, ndiani akaisa chishuvo chake chekunzwa orgasm pamusoro pekuda kwemumwe wake kurarama? Mu1981, akawanikwa aine chirwere cheKaposi's sarcoma, asi kunyangwe achinyeverwa kakawanda kuti kurwara kwake kuri kufa uye kungangoita hutachiona, akaramba achienderera mberi, kusvika parufu rwake mu1984, kuita zvepabonde nevanhu vasingazivikanwe mune vasingafanani. Nehurombo, izvi zviri kure nenyaya iri kure.

4. Kuzvishingisa kwechido, kuzviparadza

Kana wekutanga mhedzisiro yekurambwa kwetsika iri narcissism uye udyire, saka wechipiri mhedzisiro ndeyekugutsa muhunhu hwako pachako, zvichitungamira, mune zvakanyanya zviitiko, kuzviparadza. Pane zvese zvakaipa zvatinoshora, kuzvifadza kunowanzoitika kune vanhu ngochani uye nharaunda yevanhurume nevanhukadzi, umo chero nzira yekuzvidzora inoonekwa sechiratidzo chekuzvivenga uye kuchenesa. Izvi zvinozviratidza kunyanya mune yakazara-yekumhanyisa inomhanyisa nzira yemhando (yepamusoro-yekumhanyisa nzira) mararamiro akatarisana nedhisiko, sauna, kufamba-famba pasirese, kutenga zvinhu zvinodhura kwazvo, kushandisa nguva kumafaro kwenguva yakareba sezvinobvira uye nevanhu vakawanda sezvinobvira. , bonde rakasiyana zvakasiyana uye kazhinji kwese kutsva kutsva kunogona kuwanikwa. Kunze kwekuita bonde, izvi ndizvo izvo munhu angatarisira kana vakomana vane makore matanhatu ekuberekwa vatora nyika. Kuwedzera kune kuzvida kuri pachena uye kusakura kwemararamiro akadaro, zvakare kunouraya uye hakugone kutsigirwa kwenguva yakareba. Pazera ramakore makumi maviri nemashanu, mazhinji emaaner anokurumidza, akaputirwa neiyi nzira yehupenyu, vanopenga, uye panzvimbo pemaitiro ane hutano uye epamutemo, vanotanga kutsvaga zvisina hutano uye zvisiri pamutemo: zvinodhaka uye bonde risingazivikanwe.

Pane zvikonzero zvitatu nei ngochani dzichitendeukira kune zvinodhaka:
(Xnumx) Kunyudza kutya uye kurwadziwa kweungochani.
(2) Kuchengeta kupera simba kwesimba kuchengetedza kunakidzwa pamutambo we36-awa.
(3) Kutsvaga kwepfungwa uye kwepanyama sensors iyo pfungwa dzemunhu nemuviri hazvigone kunzwa pasi pezvakajairwa. 
Izvo zvinokonzeresa (2) uye (3) zviri kuita zvinodakadza uye nekufamba kwenguva zvinotungamira kune kuzvikuvadza.

Kana munhu ari mudiki uye asina ruzivo, hukama huri nyore hwe "vanilla" - kutsvoda uye kuita bonhora - zvakatokwana kwaari. Ichi chinhu chitsva, chinorambidzwa, "chakasviba" uye chinonakidza. Nekufamba kwenguva, vanilla vanoita zvepabonde nemumwe wavo vanozojairira, vachiita zvechinyakare uye zvisingafadzi, uye vanorasikirwa nekukwanisa kumutsa. Pakutanga, ngochani-anowana ngochani anotsvaga hunyanzvi mune vakomana, achiva anoshamisa kubiridzira uye zvisiri pamutemo. Pakupedzisira, miviri yese inova inofinha kwaari, uye anotanga kutsvaga mafaro mumaitiro matsva. Iye anoedza kudzoreredza zvinovaraidza kuburikidza ne "yakasviba" uye "yakarambidzwa" zvinhu zvepabonde, sekufambisa, urolagnia, Coprophilia. semhedzisiro, inorega kugutsa kana kunyange kukwezva. Kumira kunotevera kusasimba.

Havasi vese vanokanganisa vetrys vanofunga kushambadza zvinodhaka zvavo mumapepanhau, asi kana kushambadzira kwakadaro kukaoneka, ivo vanonakidzwa, vanofuridza dumbu mukati nekuratidza kusabatsira kwechinhu ichi chose.

“Makumbo ane tsandanyama asina kugeza. . . nzara dzisina kutemwa dzinonhuwa. . . pellets pakati peminwe, cheese inonhuwa. . . kunhuwa kwedikita remurume. . . kufemerwa netsvina muhapwa dzisina kugeza. . . kusviba mudanga redu renguruve. . "

Kuita zvepabonde kwakatokuvadza kupfuura bonde rakavharwa: kunogona kuva nengozi. Sezvo mutemo, ngochani vanokurumidza-vanopinda avo vakatenga imwe-nzira nzira iyi yechitima chinoratidzira, pakutanga vanopinda nekusunga uye kutumira, uye ipapo BDSM. Ne 30 yavo - 40 makore, vanokurumidza kudyiswa pamwe nehunyoro nyoro (uye kutsveyamiswa) kwekunyaradza kwakadaro, vanoenderera mberi kune zvikwapuro, vanoponda mumasiki uye chibhakera (izvo zvausingakwanise kuita kutsigira kumuka). Nemakore avo 50, vanhu vasingafadzi ava vatove mudambudziko rakakura.

Vatsigiri vangataura kuti kurara nomumwe munhu “kwakaoma” hakukuvadzi uye kuti “inongova imwe nzira yokuratidza nayo rudo,” asi unhu hwahwo, matauriro, uye mirangariro zvinomirira marwadzo noruvengo—ndizvo zvinoparira kudenha. Zvinosuruvarisa, pasinei nokuti kurwadziwa uye ruvengo hazvina chokuita nerudo, vane zvakawanda zvakafanana neruchiva: nzvimbo dzekukurudzira zvepabonde uye hutsinye muuropi dzakanyatsobatana. Kudzokororwa nguva dzose kwekubatana uku kunosimbisa, uye kunotungamirira mukusakwanisa kunzwa kumutswa pasina chisimba kana chisimba pasina kusvuta.

Hatigone kururamisa maitiro edu anokuvadza ekushandisa, uye panguva imwechete tinotarisira kuti ruzhinji ruite maererano nehunhu hwedu hunhu. Izvi zvinofanirwa kumira.

5. Kushungurudzwa neveruzhinji

Zvichida nzira yakaipa kwazvo yekusabvumidzwa kweungochani kuita zvepabonde pachena. Patakatanga kusvika kuHarvard, takarohwa nechaunga chikuru chevanhu vese mumitumba yekuyunivhesiti, vane hurongwa hwekushambadzira hwaive hwakaderedzwa nekunonoka kweamazaya echando, semhedzisiro iyo dzimba dzose dzaigara dzakabatikana. Sevatsva, takanga tisiri kunzwisisa kuti chii chaiitika, asi wedu mushambadzi akakurumidza kubviswa neimwe yezviitiko zvisingawanzo patakakwanisa kuwana yedu pachedu: ruoko rwemunhu akashata rwakatambanudzira pepa rechimbuzi pasi pechikamu, nechiratidziro chechokwadi chakaripirwa pariri. Kuchienzanisa nezvakawanda zvakafanana zvakafanana pamadziro, isu pakupedzisira takanzwisisa zvese. Kunyunyuta kwakawanda kwevadzidzi nevashandi kwakatungamira kune chokwadi chekuti mukuedza kumisa kutsamwa, manejimendi akabvisa masuo kubva kumatumba ese, uye mapurisa akapfeka yunifomu akatanga kutenderera nzvimbo idzi achitsvaga vanokanganisa. Sezvaungatarisira, chinyorwa chinoshungurudza chakabuda muHarvard Gay uye Lesbian Weekly, vachinyomba vashandi vepachani, vadzidzi uye mapurisa, "vakapinda mugirazi."

Kunyangwe paine kuyedza kwevakuru kuti vadzvinyirire chiitiko ichi, iro boka revanochani rinoenderera masikati nousiku kuti vapinde mune imwe yevanonyanya kutyisa ngochani (kazhinji pamberi pevanhu vakatwasuka) muzvimbuzi zveveruzhinji, mumapaki uye munzira dzese dzemaguta makuru eUS. Vanhu ava havaedze kuedza kuona kuvanzika kwebasa ravo, kunyangwe vakamirira kudzikama mukuyerera kwevashanyi. Nekudaro, kune vazhinji, mukana wekubatwa wakabatiswa ruoko-zvikamu zvitatu kubva muzana zvekunakidzwa. Vanoita bonhora muzvironda, vanodzungaira vasina kupfeka mukamuri, vanowirirana munzvimbo dzeacrobatic mumatumba akavhurika. Kana vachinge vadira urume - pazvigaro zvechimbuzi, madziro, kana pasi - vanoisiya ichinaya imomo mumatope anosemesa uye anogona kuzivikanwa nyore. 

Chokwadi, kazhinji kukwezva kwebonde remuchimbuzi ndekwekuti inoitwa munzvimbo ine tsvina, inoita kuti ive yakasviba zvakanyanya, inorambidzwa, inokanganisa, uye nokudaro inodikanwa. Asi kana munhu akananga paanoona varume vaviri vachinanzva nhengo dzemumwe nemumwe uye zvekushungurudzika mune imwe imba, izvi zvinosiya mufananidzo usingazive mupfungwa dzake, zvichisimbisa kutenda kwake kuti ngochani dzakasviba uye dzakasarudzika zvisikwa zvinorwara pasi peimba yekutandarira, zvichikambaira mumarara . Kukuvara kwacho kunowedzera kana zvisikwa zvakadaro zvichiratidzira vakomana vanechani - muenzaniso wakajeka wezvinoitwa neungochani kuita "mechi stereotypes." Kune rimwe divi, kushungurudzwa kwakadaro kunosimbisa rwiyo rwekare rwekuti ngochani vatore varume vasina mhombwe kuti vadzore mazita avo. Kune rimwe divi, izvi zvinoburitsa pachena manyepo evaya vanosimbirira kuti zviitiko zvavo zvepabonde zviitike chete pakati pevakuru, zvakavanzika uye nekubvumirana, uye nokudaro havafanirwe kunetseka neruzhinji rwevanhu uye maitiro avo emutemo.

Zvinoratidzika kunge zvisingatendeke kuti ngochani dzinogona kuve dzisina hanya, asi dzakawanda dzadzo dzinodzorwa zvakanyanya nemadhiri avo pane nehurombo hwavo. Vanoita sekunge vari kutungamirwa nekutaura kwemanyorero akanyorwa naWilliam Burroughs, uyo, achirondedzera chishuwo chekurara nemukomana, uye akati: "Haasi mhezi, saka chii?" Vanhu vanogona kugara. ” Isu tinosimbisa kuti maitiro akadaro haasiwo akajairwa. Imwe shamwari yeungochani akatiudza nemufaro nzira yekuwana, iye azviona ari mukambani yemutambi wenguva pfupi yadarika shure kwemukomana ane makore gumi nematatu, akashandisa mukana wekusakwanisa kwevechidiki kufamba uye akatanga kusimuka padhongi wake. "Ndatsemura juzi rangu," akatiudza achiseka, "uye hapana kana chaaigona!" Ichi hachisi chinhu chakanaka chePR.

Kushamisika kwavo, vamwe ngochani vane chokwadi chekuti vane kodzero yega yega yekuita hunyengeri muzvimbudzi zveveruzhinji nemapaki, sekunge zvakagadzirirwa ivo senge mapuratifomu ezvepabonde. Vamwe vanosvika pakutsamwa nezvevashanyi avo, kamwechete muRome, vasingade kuzvibata sevaRoma, seumwe wevanyori vegayenzi gay:

“Ndichafanira kutsvaga chimbuzi chitsva [chebonde]. Svondo rakapera ndaivepo kubva masikati kusvika 5pm. . . Bore rakadzoka zvakare ndokuti, "Handigoni kutenda kuti uchiri pano." . . Nekuda kwehuremekedzo ndaitofanira kusiya kanenge ka4. . . Ndakamuudza kuti kubaya buri rembiri netoilet paper nekuverenga bepanhau hunhu hwakashata. Ndakapotsa ndatungidza bepa pamoto. . . Pakazouyawo pwere mbiri dzehumbwende dzakaedzawo kuvhara gomba. Ndakasundira bepa racho panze ndokuti: "Usazviita zvakare - zvakashata!" Kana uchida kuyamwiwa, ibva wanamatira pano. Kana zvisina kudaro, buda." Ipapo ndakazarura suo ndokuti kushamwari yake: “Izvi zvinosanganisira iwe!” . . Madhongi akadaro. . . Ndichiri kufanira kuvatsanangurira kuti maitiro avo haabvumirwi zvachose!”

Vanyori venhau dzechingochani vanoshora chero zvataurwa kuti zveruzhinji ipfungwa dzakaipa, uye vanoshatisa kuedza kwemapurisa kupedza chinhu ichi se "kushungurudzwa kune ngochani". Hatifunge kuti izvi "zvinopesana nehurume". Izvi zvinopesana nekutyorwa kweveruzhinji, hakuna zvekare.

6. Maitiro akashata mumabhawa

Isu tine ngochani sei! Uye isu takafanirwa nazvo sei kana hutsinye hwadzoka kwatiri senge boomerang! Mamirioni, isu tiri kutiza Homophobia kubva mumaguta madiki ehuduku hwedu, kuti "tigare pakati pevanhu vedu" muguta ghetto, apo pasina munhu achashevedzera "fagot" kwauri, nekuti zvese zvakakomberedza fagots pachavo. Asi kana iwe usinaye mudiki uye akanaka kumeso, muviri wakasarudzika uye zvipfeko zvine mafashoni, achikwira pamusoro pechikumbaridzo chengochani, unozoona kuti ndiani chaiye homo-hater ndiani: isu pachedu. 

Mumwe nemumwe ngochani anogona kupa akawanda mienzaniso, isu tichaopa imwe chete yatinorangarira zvakanyanya, yakaitika mune ngochani bara, apo vaviri vechidiki uye vanozvishingisa "vahosi" nemaune zvinonzwika uye nehurefu vakakurukura murume aive akataridzika aive akanaka mumafuta pamberi pavo: "Ah Mwari wangu! Unotenda here kuti akafunga kuunza chitunha chake pano?! ”Tinogara tichinzwa nezve hushamwari uye hukama hwakabatana. Zvakanaka, kwete nguva dzose! Uye kunyangwe pasina munhu anodzikisira varume vakatarisana nevarume vane ngochani mumabhegi, vapedza husiku muvhu, vangazvidemba kuti izvi hazvina kuitika kwavari kunyange pakuzvarwa.

Iyo chete tikiti kune hupenyu hweungochani kukwezva kwekunze, asi kunyangwe iyo haisi kuzokuponesa kubva mukuodzwa mwoyo. Mumwe comrade anotsanangura mune yakeobiobiografia sei, mumakore e13, akawana manzwiro matsva emukomana akakurumbira, akanaka uye mumhanyi Bobby, uyo airatidzira zvese zvaaida kuve. Akaramba achifunga nezvake, achida kuva pedyo naye, uye ainetseka zvakanyanya paakange aripo. Kwakanga kuri kudanana, kwaikosha kupfuura chero kunzwa kwepabonde. Saka akararama kusvikira 17 makore, achivanza manzwiro ake, kusvikira asangana nezvinyorwa, semugumo waakawona kuti kune vamwe vakomana munyika vanonzwa senge iye. Akaenda kukoreji, kunyanya kuitira kuti apinde muguta. Achisvika mudhorobha, akawana kuti pane chinhu chimwe chete icho hupenyu hwengochani hwakatariswa: e * a.

Ngochani dzakagadziriswa pahudiki, kutya kwavo kukwegura kunosvika chaizvo kune degree pathological - uye pano, sekumwe kwese, tiri kutaura pamusoro pevakawanda ngochani. Izvi zvinoratidzwa mukukanganisa kwakadzama kwekuona uye maitiro. Kunyangwe mumwe wevanyori veiyi mitsara, kazhinji isingaori kana zvasvika pachokwadi, anotadza nekutora gore rake rekuzvarwa. Kuzvidza wega zera dzimwe nguva kusvika pamakore makumi maviri zvinoita sekufungidzira. Ngochani kurwa kurwisa pakarenda yega yega mwedzi, sekunge kuri kurwa paMarne. Ivo vangangoita ruzhinji rwevarume vanoshandisa mavhitaminzi, seramu, zvekushandisa zvekushandisa, bronzers, wigs, bvudzi kutapurirana uye kumeso. Asi nekufamba kwenguva, kurwa kunoraswa, uko kunongounza kutambudzika kwakawedzerwa. Kana mukadzi anokwegura angochani akatamba makadhi ake nenzira kwayo, ipapo anenge aine vana kana kunyange murume wokuvimba naye. Kune vakawanda ngochani avo vanoshora vanoramba vezera ravo mukusavimbika kwekutsvaga vechidiki vanowira pakati pezvigaro zviviri uye vanopedzisira vachembera, vakasurukirwa uye vachishungurudzika. Mararamiro akadaro anofanira kukurudzirwa here?

 7. Maitiro asina kufanira ehukama

Varume vengochani havanyanyi kunyatsa kuwana nekuchengeta vadikani. Ukama pakati pavo kazhinji hahugari kwenguva refu, kunyange zvazvo vakawanda vachivavarira nemwoyo wose kuwana wokuroorana naye. Mune mamwe mazwi, munhu wese ari kutarisa, asi hapana anowana. Nzira yekutsanangura sei gangaidzo iri? Chekutanga, izvi zvinokonzerwa nehunhu hwechirume physiology uye psychology, izvo zvinoita kuti hukama hwepabonde uye hwerudo pakati pemurume nemurume huve husina kugadzikana pane kubatana pakati pemurume nemukadzi. Paavhareji, chido chemukadzi chepabonde chine simba shoma pane chemurume uye hachinyanyi kumutswa nemafungiro ekuona. Mukadzi anogamuchira pabonde zvakanyanya kumanzwiro ake pane zvaanoona. Varume, kune rumwe rutivi, havasi kunyanya kufunga nezvepabonde (inenge nguva dzose), asiwo nokukurumidza uye zvakanyanya kumutswa nekungoona kwe "akanaka" mudiwa.

Chechipiri, kumutswa kwepabonde kunoenderana zvakanyanya ne "chakavanzika," ndiko kuti, dhigirii rekusazivikanwa pakati pevadikani. Zviri pachena, mumuviri uye mupfungwa, varume vanonyanya kufanana kune mumwe kune mumwe kune vakadzi, uye naizvozvo pane zvishoma zvisingazivikanwi ipapo. Izvi zvinowanzoita kuti varume vengochani vakurumidze kuremerwa nevavanoda. Sezvineiwo, izvi ndezvechokwadi kunyanya kune ngochani, vane shungu dzinopfuura nekukurumidza, asi nekuda kwekuda kwavo pabonde kune mwero, ivo vanogutsikana nyore nehukama hwepfungwa.

Chinhu choga chinosarudzika nevanochata nevakawanda vanosarudza kubatana kwavo kukwezva zvepabonde. Kugara kwehukama nevanhu vavusingazive uye vanhu vasina hanya navo kunozobva kwasimba pane zvakajairika uye kusada kutonga nemaitiro akakosha. Chitendero chechingochani chinogona kutaurwa seichi: "Karl, kunyangwe chidhori, asi ane mudhara hombe, pamwe ndichaenda naye kumba."

Ushamwari hwechokwadi munharaunda yeungochani hwakaoma kuwana. Ushamwari pakati pechingochani hunowanzova hwakanyanya kupfuura hushamwari hwevanhu vakananga. Munharaunda ine hukama hwakasarudzika, kunyangwe vakanaka vanoona kuti havagone kupokana kuti shamwari dzako hadzizove dzehunyengeri. Sezvo mutemo, nekukurumidza kana ngochani achisiya boka reshamwari, ivo pakarepo uye nengoni vanoshambidza mapfupa ese kwaari. Hazvishamisi kuti hushamwari hwakanakisisa uye hwakareba hwevanhukadzi hunoitika chaizvo nevanhu vakananga.

Emotional kusagadzikana, kutya kwekusungirwa uye pfungwa yakasimba yekuderera kunotungamira maungo akawanda kukuzvibata kwakakura. Vachivimba nemwoyo yavo kusava nebasa kwavo, ivo vanodzora manzwiro aya akashata nekugara vachisimbisa kuti vanodiwa pabonde, vachiita unzenza uye vausingazive. Uye kunyangwe anenge murume wega ngochani achiti anoda kuwana rudo rwechokwadi, zvaari kuda zvakanyanyisa uye hazvifungidzike zvekuti anozvisiya asinganetsi nemunhu akadaro. Semuenzaniso, iye waakasarudza haafanire kunwa, kuputa, kufarira zvemhizha, mahombekombe, guacamole, kutaridzika uye kuzvibata semurume akatwasuka, kupfeka zvakanaka, kuve nehunyoro, "kururamisa" mamiriro ezvinhu munharaunda, haafanire kunge aine bvudzi rakawanda remuviri, anofanira kunge ane hutano, yakaveurwa mushe, yakatemwa. . . tsime, iwe unowana pfungwa. Sei vanhu ngochani vachizviisa ivo pachinzvimbo chakadai? Chekutanga, nekuti ivo vanofarira kurarama mune fungidziro pane kubata nezvinoitika. Kechipiri, zvinovapa chikonzero chakanakira nei vasina munhu, uye kuti bonde uye risinei nevanhu ndizvo chaizvo zvekutsvaga izvo.

"Kusada" kuve nehukama hwega hwevanhu zvinowanzovhara banal kutadza kuva navo. Vanhu vane dambudziko iri vanoenda kunonyanyisa kutsanangura zvakaringana kugona kwavo, kusvika pakunyora mabhuku anoruramisa mararamiro avo se “shanduko yezvematongerwo enyika” uye “kuita kwevanogadzira vagari vanoita zvepabonde mumigwagwa yemitambo”. 

Kana, pakashaikwa zvakanaka, murume ngochani achiri kungobvuma munhuwo zvake, kurwira rudo hakupere ipapo - kunongotanga. Wepakati Joni Gay achakuudza kuti arikutsvaga "kusasangana-akasununguka" hukama mune iye mudiwa "asiri kunyanyobatikana, haaite zvekumanikidza, uye anomupa yakakwana nzvimbo yake." Muchokwadi, hapana nzvimbo ichave inokwana, nekuti Joni haisi kutsvaga mudiwa, asi yefuckbuddy henchman - shamwari yekumbira fucking, mhando yekusavimbika mumba. Kana kusangana kwepamoyo kunotanga kuoneka muhukama (iyo, murondedzero, chingave chikonzero chakanyanya kunaka kwavari), vanorega kuva vakagadzikana, vo "kunetseka" vobva vapunzika. Zvisineyi, havasi vese ngochani vanotsvaga "hukama" hwakaoma kudaro. Vamwe vanoda romance chaiyo uye vangatoiwana. Chii chinoitika ipapo? Nekufamba kwenguva, iyo ziso rine ziso rinosimudza musoro waro wakashata.

Hapanawo kumbove netsika yekuvimbika mune nzanga nharaunda. Kunyangwe achifadza sei ngochani nemudiwa wake, kazhinji achazopedzisira atsvaga x **. Chiyero chekutengesa pakati pevakaroora "vakaroora", mushure menguva yakati, chinosvika 100%. Varume, sezvambotaurwa, vakanyanya kunaka kupfuura vakadzi vane chadzinogadzirisa, uye vamwe vakanaka kumeso mune subway kana supermarket vanogona kutendeuka misoro yavo nyore. Varume vaviri ngochani idambudziko rakapotsa arithmetic squaring mukana weanouraya.Vakawanda vanoita zvoungochani, vachipfugamira izvo zvisingagone kubvumirana kune "hukama hwakavhurika". Dzimwe nguva zvinoshanda: mushure mekusunungura muputi, iye asingazive mudiwa anodzoka kune mumwe wake, iye anonyanya kukosha kwaari kupfuura vamwe. Asi izvi hazvishande nguva dzose. Dzimwe nguva hukama hwakavhurika hwakakodzera mumwe kana mumwe kupfuura mumwe, hunobva hwazoziva kuti hahugone kuzvinyima, uye hunosiya. Dzimwe nguva uku kungobvuma kwekunaka kuti hukama hausisiri hwakavakirwa parudo, asi pane zvepabonde uye zviri nyore mumba. Izvi zvekupedzisira zvinogona kuve zvinonyangadza: vadikani, kana kuti vanogara mumba, shandurana kuve vanobatsirana kubatsira mumwe nemumwe kuwana vakomana vepabonde vatatu.

Sei varume vanoita zveungochani vachizvibvumira pachavo nguruve uye maitiro ekuparadza? Nezvikonzero zviviri: 1) ruchiva ruchiva; 2) kutya kuratidza manzwiro nekutambura. Kuwedzera kudzvinyirira, kurwadziwa uye kutya kwavari, tinowana nharaunda inotonhora uye yakasurukirwa umo vanhu vanofanirwa kuvanza manzwiro avo kwete chete kune vamwe, asiwo kubva kwavari, izvo zvinotitungamira kuchikamu chinotevera.

8. Emotional blocking uye anesthesia

Chero munhu anogara achitarisa zvechingochani acharohwa nehunhu hwekuita hunhu husinga tsanangurike kungoita kune varume ngochani - chidhira dhizaini, inozivikanwawo sehosha yaTussaud. Chinhu chekutanga chaunoona mumunhu ane chidhidha syndrome ndiko kusindimara kwake. Sezvo mutemo, muviri wake unozununguka usingazungunuke mune yakaoma uye isiri yechisikirwo nzvimbo, unorangarira madhipatimendi ezvitoro mannequins (ayo, zvinowanzoitika, anowanzo gadzirwa neve ngochani). Iyo posheni inogona kuvezwa: maoko kumativi, achifambisa chidiki; kana fancifully machist: chin chinobuda, mawoko akatambanudzwa, uye makumbo akapamhama nepakati, sepadanho rekupedzisira tetanus. Dzimwe nguva maoko anosungirirwa pachipfuva achiratidza kuzvidzivirira. Kunyanyisa kuwandisa kwechirume kana chimiro chechikadzi zvinoratidza kusagadzikana uye kusagadzikana kwakadzika kwemuviri. Uku kuomarara kwemhasuru kunosvika kuchiso, uko kunoomesa kana kuri muchando chechando kana mune yakasakisa inonakidza. Kana makemoni akaiswa (ayo anowanzoitwa), ichaita kunge isingagonekwe epurasitiki igamba rechinyararire cinema nyeredzi, inowedzera isiri yechisikirwo mask-senge maitiro uye theatricality. Mukuwedzera, tambo dzeinzwi dzinomanikidzwa kusvika pakubvaruka. Inzwi rinenge riri kupopota uye kubuda ropa, kana kufinha uye kurira, asi mune chero zvakadaro - yakaoma, monotonous uye kazhinji nasal.  

Maitiro edhora kusabvumira chero chinhu kuburikidza nechando chando chekunyepedzera-manzwiro, uku uchichengetedza kure kwakachengeteka nzvimbo pakati payo nenzvimbo inotyisidzira nharaunda. Chinangwa chake ndechekuvharidzira zvachose kubvumidzwa kwekutya kwake kungochani uye kurwadziwa. Anofanira kudzvinyirira kusagadzikana uye kuzvidya moyo, uye kunyepedzera kuti hapana chakakosha, uye hapana anogona kumukuvadza, nekuti haana hanya. Zvese izvi zvinotungamira kune izvo zvakadanwa nemumwe munyori kuti "zera remoyo" - kusakwanisa kweve ngochani kudzikisa kusvinura kwavo uye kuvhura moyo yavo kuti vade uye vagare nevamwe sehama.

Sezvo murume wembizi anotya kuve iye, anofanira kutamba mune ruzhinji nguva dzese. Nomuzvarirwo, anobva anyura zvakakwana mukutamba-nekutamba uye semufananidzo akazara. Pasina kuwedzeredza, tinogona kutaura kuti avo ngochani 'yekuda kuita uye nhanho, kuda kwavo kukuru uye kwakazara chiitiko vatambi vechikamu chikuru, kuda kwavo zvipfeko - zvese izvi, kusvika pamwero wakati, zvakabatana neakakosha masiki maitiro ehuku. 

Dambudziko rakakomba zvakaenzana uye rakapararira munharaunda yevanhurume vanonwa doro nekushandisa zvinodhaka. Ngochani psychotherapists vanofungidzira kuti chinenge chikamu chimwe muzvitatu chevarwere vane dambudziko rakakura remushonga uye / kana doro. Nekutora zvinokurudzira manzwiro euphoria uye kuvimba, kana kushushikana (kusanganisira doro) kudzikisira pfungwa uye manzwiro avo, ivo vari kunyatso kutsvaga anesthetic yekutya kwavo uye kurwadziwa. Kune vamwe, kutya kwakasungirirwa kune hunhu hwemagariro enharaunda yeungochani: kuzvitenda kana kutya (kwakadzika-mushe) kwekurambwa nechisimba; kune vamwe - nekunyara kwemukati uye kuzvivenga-kwavo ungochani.

Kufanana nedzimwe nzira dzisina kukwana dzekuderedza zviratidzo zvezvirwere zvakadzika midzi munharaunda, kupindwa muropa nezvinodhaka pakupedzisira zvinongowedzera mamiriro acho. Pamusoro pekukuvara zvakananga izvo zvinhu izvi zvine pane pfungwa nemuviri, uye nekudaro pakushanda kwenharaunda, anesthesia yemanzwiro inotungamira mukunyura kwehupenyu nengozi. Kupunyuka kunosarudza kubva pazvinhu zvisiri zvechokwadi zvehupenyu, panzvimbo yekupokana kwakajeka uye nekuvimba navo, kunoita kuti tisazvidzivirira panjodzi inofungidzira.

9. Kuramba kwechokwadi, kusafunga kufunga uye mythomania 

Ngochani dzinogara dzichitarisana neruvengo, zvinovarwadzisa, kutya uye kutsamwa. Kuzvidza, kufungidzira kusava nehanya, hukama hwepamusoro, zvinodhaka, doro uye dzimwe nzira dzisina kukodzera dzehunhu dzakakurukurwa pamusoro dzinodiwa kuti utsungirire kurwadziwa kwepamoyo. Asi pane imwe nzira inoshanda kwazvo yekuuraya shato: kuramba chokwadi. Ngochani vanoramba chokwadi chine hukama chaihwo chakavakomberedza havawone manzwiro akadaro zvachose. Iko hakuna kuvengana mukufunga kwavo, uye saka hakuna kurwadziwa, hapana kutya, kana kutsamwa.

Wese munhu, ngochani kana akananga, nguva nenguva anogona kutendeuka kuzofungidzira uye kutenda zvakanyanya mune izvo zvinodiwa kupfuura mune chaicho. Nekudaro, ngochani kazhinji zvakajaira izvi kupfuura vanhu vakananga, nekuti ivo vanofanirwa kuona kutya, kutsamwa uye kurwadziwa zvakanyanya. Nekudaro, kuramba kwechokwadi hunhu hunhu hweungochani.

Chokwadi chinogara chiri pamberi pako, chinotaridzika mumaziso ako. Zvakaoma kuramba. Kuti uite izvi, iwe unofanirwa kunyudza mumitambo yakaoma yepfungwa, kurega kufuratira uye kukanganisa izvo zvaunoona nekunzwa, usingafunge nezve kuti zvinoshamisa sei kuti zvinogona kutarisa kune wekunze mucherechedzi. Izvi zvinogona kuratidza se:

• Kufunga kwakashata - munhu anotenda kuti anofarira, uye kwete chokwadi. Dzimwe nguva izvi zvinogona kuenda kune zvinoshamisa zvakanyanya. Mumwe wavataizivana navo, chikadzi chakanyanya, ngochani, akati anga asati amborwiswa nekuda kwechitarisiko chake uye nemaitiro. Nguva dzinoverengeka, tichifamba mumugwagwa pamwe naye, takapupurira kupururudza uye nokutuka zvakajeka nevechidiki vane ruvengo nekushusha. Takashamisika kuti anga asina kunyatsoona izvi, kana kutaura asina kana mubvunzo wekuti: "Vakomana ava vanongondinzwira godo nekuti ini ndakataridzika uye ndakapfeka zvakanaka!" Mumwe muenzaniso ndiGwaro raDkt Fenwick Rokudzivirira Hutano hweGay, maererano neizvozvo: "Pasinei nenyaya dzinotyisa, kuteedzeredza inzira yakachengetedzeka uye inoratidza pachena kuti varume vaviri vanoita bonde.". Uku kune ngozi uye kwakanyatsojeka kukanganisa maonero kunyange kwe 1983 gore.

• Paranoia - iyo shungu yekurerutsa chokwadi chakazara nepomophobia, ichizvipomera iyo junta diki yevanodzvinyirira vakaipa vakaipisisa. Izvi zvinoratidzwa mune yekuda kuita zano rehana. Semuenzaniso, CIA yaipomerwa mhosva yekugadzira uye nekuparadzira nechinangwa AIDS sechikamu chehurongwa hwehurumende hwekutsakatisa ngochani dzese. Kuita runyerekupe rwevashoma vevaridzi kunonyaradza kupfuura kuziva chokwadi chinorwadza chekuti chipombwe chakazara, chakadzika, uye chakaoma kubvisa.

• Kusapindirana -akapararira zvekuti hazvitsvage muenzaniso kana tsananguro. Isu tese takapopotedzana mukati medu zvatinopokana nengochani zvakapokana izvo zvaisaenderana nepfungwa yedu kana yake. Nei? Nekuti wakapihwa mitemo yezvirevo, iwe unofanirwa kufunga kuti iwe haufarire. Naizvozvo, ngochani dzinowanzoramba zvine musoro.

• Kuwedzera kwemaitiro - Imwe yenzira dzinoshanda dzekubvisa chokwadi iko kushandisa kwemusango uye zvakanyanyisa pamhemberero. Ngochani vanoshandisa nzira iyi vanotarisira kupururudza chokwadi uye zvirevo zvisina musoro zvido zvevanhu.

• Maonero asina kuvanzika - nderupi rudzi rwepfungwa dzepfungwa idzo vanoita ungochani kuti vabvire. Kuve ivo pachavo vakadzingwa uye vanopikisana nekugadzwa, iko kukwezva kwavo kune pfungwa zvakanangana zvakaringana kune iyo degree rekurudziro yavo uye kupokana nevatungamiriri. Saka, ngochani vanoda New Age uye zvitendero zvemashiripiti, pamwe nedzimwe pfungwa dzipi nedzipi dzisina kusimbiswa nesainzi, kana kunyangwe dzakabvumidzwa nayo: michero yemichero; nyeredzi, kuverenga nyeredzi uye piramidhi; tarot makadhi; "Vibes" kubva kune makristasi uye akasiyana siyana anokatyamadza e "kurapa". Iko kutapira kusinganzwisisike uye tarisiro yezviitiko izvi zvinovapa tariro uye zvinoita kuti nyika yavo nehupenyu zviratidzike zvinonakidza kupfuura zvavari chaizvo.

Panzvimbo pekuongorora zvine hungwaru, kudzidza dambudziko nekutsvaga mhinduro yakafanira, vanhu vazhinji ngochani vanotiza kubva kuchokwadi kuenda kuNetland vobva vaita nesimba rekutsigira chokwadi uye pfungwa. Nekudaro, zvinyorwa nemabhuku akafanana neyedu anotaurira nharaunda gay kuti haina kunaka, kuti iri munjodzi, uye, zvakatonyanya, zvekuti isu chikamu chekupomera, vari kurwiswa zvine hunyoro nevatungamiriri vezvamatongerwo enyika vakarurama. Zvino tinotendeukira kune aya mapofu anotungamira mapofu.

10. Kwezvematongerwo enyika gay fascism uye kudzvinyirira kwemaitiro ezvematongerwo enyika

 Mune nyaya pfupi yaClive Lewis "Tsamba dzinobva Balamute," dhimoni rinonyorera mwana wemunun'una wake: 

“Maonero efashoni akagadzirirwa kubvisa pfungwa dzevanhu patsika chaidzo. Isu tinonangidzira kutyisa kwechizvarwa chega chega pamusoro pehuipi uhwo hwave nenjodzi diki, uye tinonangisa mvumo kune hunhu huri padyo nehuipi hwatiri kuedza kuita hunhu hwenguva. Mutambo uyu ndewekuti vamhanye nekudzimisa moto panguva yemafashamo voenda kudivi rechikepe rinenge riri pasi pemvura. Aya ndiwo matangiro atinoita fashoni achipesana nehunhu hwepakutanga. "

Uye kunyangwe isu tisingazoenda kunosvika pakudoma vatungamiriri venhau vevane ngochani uye vamwe vavo sevamiriri (mapoka maviri anopindirana) samadhiyabhorosi, kutaura zvazviri, ndiwo maitiro avakazvibata mumakore makumi maviri apfuura. Kubvira patakatanga kuverenga nekuteerera kwavari, takave nekugutsikana kwakasimba kuti paive nechakakanganisika zvakanyanya, -shoma-kuona, pamusoro-kwepamoyo uye nekuparadza mumaonero avo epasirese nemazano. Mukuyedza kwavo (kazhinji kubudirira) kuyedza kuronga hurongwa hwezvematongerwo enyika hwevane ngochani, vatora nzira isiriyo yetsika dzakaipa, zvichikonzera kukuvadza kwakanyanya kuchikonzero chedu. Mienzaniso mishoma yetsika dzakadai dzakashata:

• Vanoshamwaridzana nevanyori, vatori venhau pamwe nevamiriri pamwe chete vanonzi "vatungamiriri uye vamiririri veboka rechingochani", vanogara vachivavarira kuona chinzvimbo chechingochani nezve vanhu vakananga nezve mudzvinyiriri / mutambudzi, mutema / chena, shamwari / muvengi, nesu / kutirwisa, kusasiya nzvimbo yemimvuri yekusabvumirana zvinonzwisisika, izvo zvinokonzeresa kukanganisika, kunetseka, kusangana uye kutambudzika. Ivo vanoona vanhu vakananga sevasingagumi uye chete vavengi izvo zvinofanirwa kurwiwa nemeno uye zvipikiri.

• Mupfungwa, vakapindwa nechando munguva yakapfuura umo kuzvivenga kwengochani kwanga kuri dambudziko, uye vanoramba kubvuma kuti takatarisana nezvinetso zvitsva, zvimwe zvacho zvine chokuita nokunyanya kuzvida kwedu. . Vanoramba chero kushoropodzwa kwenharaunda kwete chete kubva kune varume nevakadzi vekunze, asiwo kubva kune ngochani mukati, vachishandisa nzira dzakafanana dzekudzvinyirira: nhema, kuzvidza, kupopota pasi, kuramba kodzero yekupindura, kudana mazita, uye kushandiswa kwemaitiro akasiyana, kurasira zvisingasaruri pamunhu wose “vavengi” vane bhegi rimwe reunhu. Kunyangwe kutsoropodza kwakakura kana kudiki, kungave kushoropodzwa kwengochani kana kwakatwasuka, kuongororwa, inova yekare yakachipa hunyengeri, inogara yakafanana: uri homophobe! Uye kana uchivenga ngochani, saka unofanira kuvenga vakadzi, vatema uye vamwe vese vanodzvinyirirwa vashoma.

• Vanorwisa vane masimba zvakafanana, zvine ruzha uye zvisina musoro zvekuti vanorasikirwa nekodzero yekutorwa zvakadzama. Ivo vanoto ruma iwo maoko anoedza kuvadyisa mukati meganhuriro yehurongwa, kana vasingavapi iwo chaiwo iwo menyu iwo aive mupfungwa.

• SeMuipi weHamanan anogadzira radicalism, vanotitungamira kusvika kwakanyanyisa, vachiramba tsika nehunhu hwemhuri, vasingapi chero chinhu mukudzoka, uye vanotisiira mune yakasarudzika yekuzviparadzanisa nevamwe uye unzenza hwakawanda. Ivo vanoziva nzira yekuparadza, asi kwete kuvaka.

• Mukudhindisa nekunyepedzera, vanotenda, vanotsigira nekusimudzira maitiro akaipa ezvechingochani (narcissism, hedonism, unzenza, bonde mune saunas), mumugamuchire se "mararamiro edu", uye edza kutengesa iyi yakasviba kwete chete kuungochani, asiwo kuvanhu vakananga. under the guise of "ndizvo zvazvinoreva kuve ngochani." Vanosarudza mararamiro edu kubva pakufunga nezvebonde uye vanobatsira kuumba nharaunda umo isu tisingawani rudo, uye ipapo vanoshamiswa uye vakatsamwa apo vanhu vakananga vanotipa mhosva semhuka dzinongogara nekuda kwe f * cles.

• Vanoshinga kutaura vakamiririra nharaunda yese vachiramba kodzero ye "vazhinji vakanyarara" vengochani kuti vamiririrwe zvakaenzana uye nemazvo muzvinyorwa zvavo, vachibvumira "nyanzvi" dzechirume kuti dzitiise nebhurasho rimwe chete. Vanotinyadzisa uye panguva imwe chete vanotikwevera pasi pamwe chete navo. Vanotizivisa kuti tinozvivenga, vanyengeri uye vanyengeri. Vanoremekedza mararamiro edu kunyange zvishoma kudarika vanhu vakarurama vanoremekedza avo.

• Vanoshatisa kuyedza kwese kuvaka hukama nehukadzi hwechisimba se "rubatsiro" uye "kutengesa", vachisarudza, pachena, kurwisa kwekupokana nekuda kwavo, sekunge zvichibvira kurarama nemufaro munharaunda yatinozvidza.

* * *

Ongororo yedu yaive pamusoro pezvatakaona, kunzwa, uye nekuverenga pamusoro pegumi neshanu makore. Sezvatakataura pamusoro, chirongwa chePPR chakasarudzika kwazvo munyika hachizove nemugadziro wenguva refu pane hunhu hwevanhu vakananga kune ngochani, kunze kwekunge iwo chaiwo achinja. Isu tinoziva kuti kushoropodza ngochani hakuna kunaka mune zvematongerwo enyika, uye kuti chero munhu akabvunza mararamiro edu muvengi. Asi chipikiri chiri pane mbavha, uye hatisi kuzokumbira ruregerero nekusanzwisisika.

Source: After The Ball, chitsauko 6

Mukuwedzera:

Ngochani kuratidzaAfter The Ball"- zvakavanzika zvekunyepedzera kweungochani

Pfungwa uye hwepanyama hutano hwevanhu LGBT

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