Nyaya yakasununguka yeaimbove ngochani, inotsanangura hupenyu hwemazuva ese hweavhareji "ngochani" - kusingaperi enemas, unzenza uye hutachiona hunoenderana, makirabhu, zvinodhaka, matambudziko nemudumbu rezasi, kushushikana uye kurumwa, kusagutsikana nekusagutsikana uye kusurukirwa, kubva. izvo zvinyadzi uye Datura zvinongopa kuzorora kwenguva pfupi. Nyaya iyi ine zvinhu zvinosemesa zvechingochani nemigumisiro yadzo, zvichisiya tsvina inosvota izvo pasina mubvunzo zvichanetsa kumuverengiwo zvake. Panguva imwe chete, vanobudisa zvose zvakarurama anopararira iko kushata kwemararamiro eungochani kuchikosora sekunakidzwa kwemvura-muraraungu. Inoratidza chokwadi chinorwadza chengochani chechirume sezvazviri chaizvo - scabbyvasina musoro uye vasina tsitsi. “Kuva ngochani” pakupedzisira kunoreva kutambudzika uye kurwadziwa kwakanyudzwa mukuwacha neropa, pane kubatisisa mumaoko evakomana vane maziso makuru kubva kuKawaii yoyoynyh ngano fan.
Mu1989, ndakasvika padunhu rakakurumbira reCastro muSan Francisco sejaya rakapererwa remakore angangoita 19. Ini ndakakura ndichivhimwa uye ndakasurukirwa uye ndaida pakupedzisira kuve chikamu chechinhu. Vanenge kubva pakutanga chaipo pekuyaruka, vamwe vakomana kuchikoro vakatanga kundiramba. Ndichiri pasi pesimba re testosterone ivo vakaita nhanho yekusvetukira kune mamwe mabasa ehurume, senge mitambo ine hutsinye nemitambo, ndakaramba ndakanyara uye ndisingazvibati. Sezvo manzwi avo airamba achiderera uye achiwedzera kusatya, izwi rangu rakaramba rakavanzika uye richishamisika mupfungwa. Sezvo zvavakakura uye vachiwedzera kusimba, ini ndakawedzera uye kuwedzera kuva nekusavimbika uye nekumwe. Vechidiki alpha vanhurume, sekutonga, vaive vakanyanya mubhora uye zvisingaite vakashanduka kuve vatungamiriri mukuzorora uye zvidzidzo zvemuviri zvepanyama. Ivo vaigara vachiseka zvavo kusagona kwangu kwemitambo uye vaidanidzira nezwi rangu kusava nebasa zvachose. Hapana munhu aida kundiendesa kuchikwata chavo. Ini ndaingogara ndakapedzisira nekupedzisira, kunyangwe mushure mekuti vasikana vakasarudzwa vadiki kuneni.
Pakanga paine vamwe vakomana vasina mapara mukirasi yangu - vakanyanya kana vapfupi, avo vaibatwa saizvozvo. Asi vanogona kushandura kuramba kuve mukana kuburikidza nekuzvinyadzisa kwekunyadzisa kana kuseka ini kana mumwe munhu. Ini handina kukwanisa kuzviita. Ini ndaingonzwa kuda kutora zvese pamoyo uye kunetseka kubva chero zvinyengeri. Mwana aigara aine hutsinye uye asina kufunga nezvevakomana vacho aiita seane chinangwa kwandiri. Panguva imwe chete, pavakaramba uye vachindinyomba, zvakanyanya zvandaida kuwana nzvimbo pakati pavo. Upfungwa hwangu hwehudiki hwakatanga kutenderedza munhu ane hunyoro anonditora semumwe wake. Ndapedza chikoro, ndakamhanyisa kumba kunoona Batman ndikazvizivisa saRobin. Zvinokosha kuziva kuti kusvika nhasi, homoerotic fungidziro nezveBatman naRobin zvakapararira mutsika dzengochani.
Pandakasvika muSan Francisco, ndakanga ndichiri makaremara, ndakaonda uye ndichinetseka, asi ndakakurumidza kuona kuti varume vanoda kuva neni. Pano muviri wechikomana waive mukana uri pachena. Iye mukomana, uyo hapana waaida pachikwata chake, akave anodiwa. Pakange pasina kudiwa kweuMwari, zvaingoda kuvimbisa simba, kutsungirira uye kusava nechokwadi kuverenga. Kusiyana nehupenyu hwedu hwakarasika, paive nevanhu pano vaive vakagadzirira kudzidzisa nekutitungamira. Vanenge mumwe nemumwe wedu aive nemudiwa wekutanga, ave neruzivo uye achiwedzera kuvimba. Semaonero edu, vakatiperekedza kuenda kuvarume vevanhu, kwataigara tichinzwa takaparadzaniswa. Uye sezvazvakazoitika, ivo vakakwanirisa izvi feat nerubatsiro rwebonde.
Husiku hwokutanga pandakapinda mubhawa yangu yekutanga, ndakanga ndichiri kusagadzikana uye ndichinyara mwana. Ndakashaya kuti ndoita sei. Changu chete ruzivo nezvenyika yekurara nevarume yaingogumira pakuona ngochani porn, uye ndainakidzwa nemifananidzo iyi. Paive nehurongwa hwakakosha uye mutsika wezvinhu zvese zvairatidzwa ipapo - zera nevadiki, hombe nevadiki, ruzivo rwevasina kudzidza. Vakuru vakasimba uye vane hushingi vanhu vagara vakakumikidzwa kune masculinity nevasina ruzivo uye vasina hutano hwakanaka hwevadiki.
Kubva pane zvinonyadzisira, ini ndaingoziva zvandaifanira kutarisira. Ndakaona mabhaisikopo ane mazita anotyisa akafanana: "Baba, zvinorwadza", "Zvakwana, zvinorwadza" uye "Zvinokuvadza". Ini ndaifungidzira shanduko yangu kuenda kuhurume semutambo wekutanga, uye uri mukati Dambudziko reAIDS, kufanana nevarume vari mutsika dzemadzinza vanofanirwa kutsungirira kutambudzika kwakasiyana siyana nemiedzo kuti vapinde munharaunda yevarume, ini ndakagadzirira kutsungirira chero chinhu munzira iyi, kunyangwe kufa.
Iyo denouement mune ngochani porn inogara ichitaurirana. Anal bonde inopa murume ngochani humwe hukama. Musangano uyu, uyo usingabatanidze mukana wekufungidzira, unotaridza kuti hauna kukosha uye unokurumidza. Kuvepo kwekubatanidzwa kwakadaro kwaiyedza nenzira inoshamisa, asi ini ndakamanikidzwa nekuwoneka kwekuti ndinogona kuwana AIDS uye ndakaramba kuisa hupenyu hwangu panjodzi, kunyangwe ndaiziva kuti handingazove ndakakwana kusvikira ndawana hushingi hwekuteerera.
Ndakafunga zvakawanda pamusoro peizvi uye rimwe zuva ndakaenda kune imwe kiriniki yepasuo padyo neCastro gay mecca, izere neakasiyana-siyana e-counter-laxatives uye yekuchenesa enemas. Kwemaawa anotevera, ndakadya zvishoma uye ndikamwa chinwiwa nemvura yakawanda. Mangwanani akatevera, pandakabvisa enema muhomwe, ndakanga ndisina chokwadi. Nepamuromo rake refu, risati razorwa mafuta, airatidzika kunge chimbo chekutambudza.
Kwemaminitsi akati wandei, ndakasendamira pakunyura muchimbuzi, ndichipuruzira mhasuru dzese dzemuviri wangu kusvika zvaramba. Ndichitarisa kumashure, izvi zvinoratidzika kwandiri setsika yekuzvinatsa pamberi pemhemberero mune imwe mhando yetembere yechihedheni. Ndakaongorora muviri wangu kuti ndiwane kutanga kuberekwa patsva, asi kunyangwe zvandaiomesesa pamuromo nemvura yemunyu, ndakangoita seGungwa Rakafa muSodhoma. Kwechinguva ndakashambira pamusoro, asi hapana chinhu chaigona kunditsigira. Yaivapo chete nekuda kwayo.
Ndainzwa shungu nezuva rese. Kana zviri zvebonde, kusiyana ne porn, hazvina kutora makumi maviri kusvika makumi matatu emaminetsi, zvese zvaive nekukurumidza. Kunyangwe iyo ngano yemusango ine simba, kuzvipira uku kwaida kurwadziwa, kutsungirira uye kuzviisa pasi. Iko kunzwa kuri kumuka nekuda kwekuda kuedza kudzoreredza mhasuru dze sphincter, sezvo kushanda kwavo kwakakodzera kunoenderana nekusingaperi kwavo kunetsana, zvaishamisa zvinoshamisa. Ini handina kukwanisa kuzviita. Pakukwirira kwekuyedza, mudiwa wangu akaisa Bong pasi pemhino dzangu. Ndakazevezera, uye moyo wangu wakatanga kubuda muchipfuva changu.
Chikamu chekuswededza pedyo chaive chakanyanya kana kutonhora chiri kure, zvichienderana nekumira uye kuona kweziso. Ndakaviga kumeso kwangu mugumbeze, ndokushinga kutarisa kumeso kwemunhu pamusoro pangu. Pakanga pasina chinhu chakabvumirana. Muchokwadi, yaive caricature yechiitiko chemhuri, asi ini ndakanga ndisiri mukadzi, uye ini ndakanga ndisina mukadzi. Mune yangu physiology pakanga pasina chinhu chakagadziriswa kugamuchira penis; pakanga pasina mafuta echisikigo, uye airwadza kusvika ndamira kunzwa chero chinhu. Dzimwe nguva, chiitiko ichi chaipisa uye chisina kunaka. Mukuda kwedu kutsvaga nzira yekushinga, tinozviona tiri mukudzoka kwoutsinye kuhucheche uye maapeki. Anenge makumi maviri emakore mushure mekurasika kwehunhu hwakadaro, chinonyanyisa chakaipa ndechekuti dzimwe nguva ndinofanira kupfeka diapura. Iye mukomana aida kuve murume aive akatsiga panguva yehucheche.
Kudzidzira hakuna kuvandudza chiitiko ichi, uye zvinoita sekunge zvakasikwa neimwe nzira. Izvo hazvina kuwana chero nyore. Izvo zvisingaperi zvekutanga uye mafuru zvakaita kuti bonde riite kunge remakiriniki uye rinenge rekuyedza. Kwechinguva, ini ndaive ndakasimba bondexual uye ndakashamiswa nekuyerera kwehomoni kwevakadzi kuita zvepabonde, kwavo kuda kwerudo uye foreplay - chimwe chinhu chakaedzwa nevarume ngochani. Izvi zvinotsigirwa nemazana emakoronyera "maburi ekubwinya" akacherwa muzvikamu zvezvimbuzi zveveruzhinji muSan Francisco, nekuda kwekupedzisira isina zita uye kurara kwevanhu kunoitika pese panomirirwa muromo wakashama. Erotization yeiyo inotangira bonde muvakadzi inogadzirira miviri yavo kuti ipinde mukati. Hapana mashandiro akadaro anobatanidzwa munhengo yechirume.
Pane imwe nguva ndakanga ndichinyanya kushinga mumaitiro angu ekuchenesa ndikazvipisa nemunyu. Shamwari dzakakurudzira dzakasiyana-siyana dzakavakirwa imba enemas, nemvura uye nekubheka svutugadzike. Imwe yakakurudzirwa mvura uye aloe, uye chinoshamisa chinongedzo chaisanganisira mvura uye pakarepo kofi. Shamwari yakatikurira padiki kwandiri, yandaivimba nayo zvisingaite, yakanditora padivi, uye takave nekunyora kusanzwisisika kwekutaurirana pakati pababa nemwanakomana. Akakurudzira proctologist akanaka uye akarondedzera kushungurudzwa kwake ega nemishonga isinei nemafuta akasiyana siyana. Akarondedzera zvakadzama marwadzo anokonzerwa neaseline kunowira pa anal fissures.
Laxatives uye enemas kunyange kamwe chete pasvondo akaomesa iyo yatove yakatetepa membrane yeiyo rectum. Mumwe nemumwe, ini ndakatora huwandu hwezvirwere zvinotapuriranwa pabonde - yekutanga rectal gonorrhea, ndokuzotevera rectal chlamydia. Ndakanga ndine pfumo, iro pakutanga rakanga risinganyanyo kundinetsa, nekuti ganda rangu rakatsetseka harigaro kupindura zvakanaka kumafuta anoshandiswa. Yakakosha pamusoro-iyo-yekuzora mafuta yakanga isingabatsiri, uye maronda maronda uye mabhurumu akatanga kupararira mukati. Kwenguva yakati ndichiri kuenderera mberi nekuita bonde neanovata. Hapana munhu airatidzika kunge akaona bhurugwa rangu raive rakamonyororwa munzvimbo dzakasviba dzeSan Francisco makirabhu ezvepabonde, marwadzo chete haana kuzoita, ndikatendeukira kukiriniki yemuno. Ndakarairwa mishonga inorwisa mabhakitiriya. Dumbu rangu harina kunyatsoita mushe navo, uye kwemazuva akati wandei ndakarwadziwa nemaronda uye ndisingaperi manyoka.
Kwechinguva, ndakapotsa ndasvika pamusoro peitiro rose rekutora anal bonde, asi matambudziko angu eganda akaenda uye ndikadzokera kwaari. Nechimwe chikonzero ini ndakatadza kumira. Zvakanga zvisingashamisi kuti sei mumwe murume achipinda mandiri aingoita kuti anzwe kuzara zvekuti muviri wenyama zvakamuramba. Izvo zvaiita sekutora Ecstasy pamberi pehusiku hweveve uye yebonde. Ndainzwa mushonga uchipararira muhupenyu hwangu hwese. Muaya mahusiku euphoric, ndanga ndiri mumwe neanguomweya wemukati, muviri wangu uye nezvedenga. Ipapo, ndichitevedzera kurara nevarume, ndakapunzika pandakazoona kuti ndakanga ndichiri ndakakiiwa mumusungo wekare weanhumbu yangu. Pakarepo moyo wangu unonyungudika wakadzoka, ini ndokutevera kudanwa kuti ndizviwanze nechimwe chinhu kubva kunze, kunyangwe chaisaenderana.
Pakupera kwema1990, ndakanga ndisisiri mudiki uye mutete, uye vakomana vatsva vaisvika muSan Francisco vaive vakasiyana nevakambouya. Vakanga vasingatyi. Kune mitezo yakasara yechizvarwa changu, nhete yerabha iyo yakavaparadzanisa nevadikani vavo yakanga yakafuta sedanda rezvidhina. Kondomu rakauya kuzomiririra chipingamupinyi chekupedzisira pakati pevarume ngochani uye chinangwa chavo chekusanzwisiswa kwemurume. Ndakaona kuti vangani vakomana vakasiya iwo akamboera matsvene asina kunyorwa canoni epabonde akachengeteka padyo nehusiku. Mumazuva iwayo, chaizvo munhu wese airatidzika kunge aiita bonde risina dziviriro. Ini ndakafadzwa nekuvandudzwa nemaune kwema 70s hedonism. Ngochani mabara uye makirabhu akaridza ese ekare nziyo dzedisco nguva zvakare. Kwaive kudzokera kunguva yegoridhe yerusununguko rwepabonde.
Nekudaro, ngarava yegoridhe yakakoswa yezviroto zvedu yaive imwe vimbiso isina chinhu. Kamwe kamwe, munhu wese akandikomba akatanga kurwara. Hutachiona hwakabata zvakanyanya avo vaive vachiri vadiki kuti vatsvage zvepabonde. Vakasangana nematambudziko mazhinji muchirongwa chete kuti vatapukirwe nehutachiona uye hutachiona hwemarudzi ese emikana, mukuodza mwoyo uye kupererwa. Nanhasi, nhamba huru ye “ngochani” yakatapukirwa nehutachiona hweAIDS zera boka 25 - 34 makore.
Iyo inotarisirwa harmonic rapprochement, iyo yaifanirwa kuitika kuburikidza neganda-ganda kusangana, haina kupfeka. Varume vazhinji vakura vakafirwa nevarume vavo uye vadi nekuda kweAIDS mu80 uye vaitoziva tsika yeungochani, izvo zvakakonzera kufa kwevanhu vazhinji, zvishoma nezvishoma vakafuratira pakuderera uye vakagara muutapwa hwekunze nechekunze kweCastro. Kusvika kumwero mukuru, ivo vakaumba mubatanidzwa uyo waizosimbirira kuroora-kwevasikana. Kwechinguva ini ndaive mumwe wavo uye ndakagara pakati-ndichigutsikana nemudiwa mumwe chete. Asi ungochani hwechirume hauna kumbobvira hwave chinamato chimwe. Veruzhinji ngochani chirahwe chematunhu akasiyana-siyana ari mukati memahara, saunas, uye ikozvino mune geosocial network application, uko zviuru zvemifananidzo yemisoro yemisoro yematumba isati yatanga kutaridzika kunge zvimedu zvemarble zvevakadzi vekare vechiGreek nemaRoma. Asi vamwari vechingochani ndiyo polyphony yevamwari vazhinji venhema, imwe neimwe inovimbisa nenzira inofadza kuvanamati.
Mudiwa wangu wekugara aiva atari yandaipfugama kakawanda, asi nguva dzose ndaida kusimuka kuti ndiende nokuti minamato yangu yekuzadzikiswa kwemukati yakaramba isina kupindurwa. Sodhomu, nekusachena kwayo, rave basa rakawandisa uye rinonetesa, rinowanzoda kushanda nesimba nesimba kuti ripedze basa racho. Apo vanamwari vengochani vanoiswa mumuviri wemumwe munhu, kugoverana kwenhema kweropa kunoitika, izvo zvisingaunzi kununurwa. Kukwira nekudzika kwetarisiro kunoda rwendo rusingaperi kune nyika isina Holy Sepulcher. Kunamata kunokurumidza kuva nehusimbe uye kumira pasi pehuremu hwehupenyu hwezuva nezuva hunoodza mwoyo. Kushaikwa kweanotsvakwa mweya wekuroora kunorwadza zvinorwadza. Somugumisiro, kuwirirana kwomuviri kunowanzosvika pakuita bonhora uye kuita zvepabonde nomumukanwa. Ndaneta nekudzura vhudzi remumuromo mangu manheru ega ega. Nguva yedu yakakosha yekusununguka pamwe chete yakaitika zvakasiyana, nechiso cheumwe chakavigwa mune imwe crotch yeumwe. Izvi zvinowanzoitika pakati pevanodaidzwa kuti "ngochani dzakaroora," izvo zvakambounza pfungwa ye "f * ck buddies," ichitsanangura vadikani pabonde apo vaviri vanobvumirana hukama hwakavhurika asi vachingogara vakasiyana kune mumwe nemumwe. Dzimwe nguva mumwe mudiwa haazive kana mumwe achienda ku sauna kana kuvhura chimiro paGrindr. Handife ndakakanganwa shamwari yangu yepedyo yaingogara ichinetseka pamusoro pehunhu hwangu husina hanya, uyo akazofa mushure mekuchinja vadikani vashomanana, akanga abata HIV kubva kune asina kutendeka.
Chakavanzika cheAIDS chakagara chakandifadza uye chinoenderera nanhasi. Izvo zvaiita sekunge mhezi yakanga isina kana kwekuenda uye hapana chekuita, uye mukushushikana kwavo vakatendeuka kune avo vaizvishandisa zvisizvo, vachivarwarisa kurwara uye kufa.
Mushure memazana emakore akawanda echikwereti chenguva pfupi, ndakarwara nekubuda ropa uye kubuda mahemorrhoid. Ndakaedza kurapa nemishonga yakatengwa muzvitoro nemadomasi. Rimwe zuva ndakasangana neshamwari kudya kwemanheru, apo kamwe kamwe nzvimbo ine mafuta yakawanda yakapararira kumusana kwetirauzi rangu, zvisingaite kwandiri. Munhu wese akanzwisisa zvaiitika uye haana chaakataura, asi zvainyadzisa. Gare gare, proctologist akakurudzira kuvhiyiwa. Ndakaramba.
Matambudziko anogara aripo nenzvimbo iyi yemuviri wangu akandiita kuti ndiwedzere kutsiga, uye izvi zvakawedzera dambudziko. Ndakabata rectum kunge nhengo yemunhukadzi, uye neimwe pfungwa, yakatanga kuita sekudaro. Semuenzaniso, kunhuhwirira kwaigara kuri dambudziko panguva yekuita bonde, uye mumwe munhu akapa zano rekushandisa mushonga wevakadzi wedhisipu seSummer Eve. Izvi zvakashanda kwechinguva, asi ipapo kurwadziwa kwacho kwakawedzera. Iyo acid-base chiyero chedctum yangu yaive yakafanana nepadongo rakasiiwa reArizona rine mvura yakasvibira izere negwenzi uye umhutu. Imwezve nyaya yaingogara ichinetsa ndeyekuti izvo zvinonzi "kupotsa" panguva yebonde. Ndanzwa nyaya dzichiramba dzichirondedzerwa nenzira yakapusa, nezve chinokamhina chine hungwaru chisingatore zvinodiwa. Pane imwe nguva, panguva yebonde ndisina kondhomu nemukomana wangu, ndakangoerekana ndonzwa kunzwa kupisa chaiko. Ndakabvisa nhengo ndokuona kuti yakavharwa mumarara. Husiku uhwo hwese hwanga hwapera kwandiri.
Ini ndakarwara neakateedzana anal anal mbiriso hutachiona pane akati wandei. Ini ndaigara ndichivimba kuti chaive chimwe chinhu uye ndaingotsvaga kurapwa kana zvainge zvanyanyisa kunonoka. Kurwadziwa kwacho kwaive kusingatsungiririki. Kuramba ndichigwinha nekugwinha kwakaita kuti ganda rangu rive dzvuku uye rirwadza. Muviri wangu waigara uchidonhedza tsvina, izvo zvakaramba zvichitsamwisa matukisi akapoteredza. Kazhinji, mishonga inorwisa mabhakitiriya isati yawana nguva yekuita, ndaipfeka mapads evakadzi mukati mechipfeko changu chemukati. Pakutanga ndakanyara kudzamara shamwari yangu yandiudza nezvemudiwa wake - murume wandaifunga semurume ane hutsinye. Kunyangwe iye parizvino aive anokosha chete, iye, semuvaki wekusimbisa muviri, aifanira kupfeka manapukeni evakuru munzvimbo yekurovedza muviri nekuda kwekushanda nesimba, akazvibvisa zvisina basa.
Nekudaro, ndakaramba ndisina kunyanya kutya, kunze kwekunge kucheneswa kwemuviri nekudya uye enemas yakatsamwisa chikamu chepazasi chegumbo rangu zvakanyanya, zvichikonzera izvo inonzi proctologist inonzi spastic colitis. Ini ndaingogara ndichibvarurwa nepakati pekuputirwa kwakasimba uye kuora kunorwadza kunotungamira kusvika kune kusingagone kutsvuka. Kuwedzera mamiriro acho ezvinhu, kuveura nguva nenguva kwenzvimbo ye anal kwaiita kuti ganda ritsamwiswe uye risvike pazvirwere.
Paive nehondo inoenderera mberi pakati pekuumbwa kwemuviri wangu nezvandaida kuita nazvo. Zvinotaridzika kwandiri kuti ndakanzwisisa kuti ndanga ndichirasikirwa, asi zvakadaro, ini ndaigara ndichiwana nyaradzo kushamwari dzaive nedambudziko rimwechete uye mumafaro akaunganidzwa enharaunda yeungochani inotamba kuburikidza nenhamo dzose uye hurwere. Takaramba tichiwana punches, asi nguva yega yega taisvika tsoka. Mune imwe yenziyo dzekupedzisira dzandainzwa mukirabhu yengochani, ndakaimba:
Kusurukirwa kwangu kuri kundiuraya
asi ndinoreurura ndichiri kutenda ...
Ndakanga ndichiri kutenda kuti neimwe nzira zvinhu zvaizoitika zvakasiyana. Kunyangwe ndaisatenda muhupenyu hwapashure, ndichirangarira shamwari dzangu dzakafa kare, ndakafungidzira kuti vaive vazorora mukumbundira kusingaperi uyo wakashungurudzika kubva panguva yeupenyu. Dzimwe nguva ndaifunga kuti kumbundikira kusingagumi kunomiririra kukunda rufu. Kwakanga kuri kutanga kundida.
Ndisati ndabuda mumba manheru, ndakatanga nzira yekuchenesa, ndokuzogara zvangu pachimbuzi ndokutsikirira kwechingangoita maminetsi mashoma. Hura dzangu dzakawedzera kurwadza. Akatanga kubuda, uye rectum yangu yakatanga kudonha kunze. Nekuda kweizvozvo, ndakange ndichibuda ropa nekufamba kwega kwega. Ndakaona kuti kuva nebonda rakavhurika mumuviri wangu kwakaita kuti nditapukirwe nehutachiona hwehutachiona. Ipapo ini ndakanga ndisinganzwisise kuti iro racho, ronda risingaonekwe rakanga ronditambudza kubva paudiki ndiro raive rakonzera mamiriro ezvinhu akaoma andakawana ndeangu. Pakazosvika nguva iyoyo, ndakanga ndorwara kazhinji zvekuti ndanga ndine chokwadi chekuti ndakanga ndatotapukirwa.
Ipapo ndakapinda muboka revasingatyi, vaduku uye vasina ruzivo rwokuzviwanira, vakasurukirwa uye vakadhakwa, sezvinobvira vasina HIV.”vabhegi” nevaya vakatotapukirwa. Mumapoka aya, kunyepedzera kuita bonde rakachengeteka kwaisavepo zvachose, kana mhepo yainyanya kufarisa uye yakanyanyisa zvekuti chero munhu amire ovhura pasuru yemakondomu. Kazhinji kazhinji, vagari venyika ino vakarangarira zvakakomba fungidziro dzavo dzevatano. Vazhinji, seni, vaiva varume vaikurumidza kudzima mugwagwa wezvidhina weyero pane chero nzira yeparutivi. Hatina kuwana chikamu cheushingi hweushingi kubva kumuroyi weEmerald City, nokuti takaberekwa tiri "vakadzi" uye "vasina simba". Hatina kukwanisa kuenda kumba, saka takamukira kuputsika kwedu uye takatsvaga kuporeswa mukati medu.
Vateveri vanonyanya kudakadza ndevaya vaishuvira kubata chirwere chetachiona kubva kumupi ane hutachiwona hweHIV. Kusakwanisika zvachose kwepamuviri kuburikidza nevepabonde-kwakasiyiwa pfungwa yekusava nehupenyu kune vese vanobatanidzwa. Kudzoserwa kwacho kwaisanganisira kuunza chinhu chakabayirwa muesen, icho chaigona kuyambuka membrane yesero rega rega, ichichinja zvachose unogamuchira. Uyu ndiwo waive mugumo wakashata wechirevo chisingafadzi, kubudikidza neizvozvo, ndichiri jaya, ndakaedza kuwana kuvimbika kuburikidza nekuita zvepabonde nevamwe varume. Izvo hazvina kumboitika. Mukushungurudzika, kutsvaga kwemoyo murefu kutsvaga zvakadzama zvinoreva zvepabonde nevarume kunotanga, nekuenderera mberi nekuferefeta kwezvakanyanya kuitika mikana.
Kukosha kwekushandisa kondomu panguva yekurara nehukadzi kwakakanganikwa nyore muguvhu rwepabonde. Chinhu chimwe chetecho chakaitika nekushandiswa kunodiwa kwemafuta. Zvichienderana nenzvimbo uye mamiriro, varume vazhinji vanoita ngochani vanobva vatendeuka saga pachako kufambisa kupinza. Nekuzevezera, mate anova akaoma uye anonamira, uye ma enzymes ayo ekugaya anonzwa sekunge ari kuumbiridza danda rakatetepa reganda mune anus. Uye zvakare, preliminary anilingus tsika inogona kupedzera varume vechingochani kuchimwe hutachiona hweparasitic chirwere chisingarapike chechirwere chinonzi chirwere shigellosis.
Kwenguva yakati, ndisingazvizive, ndakabatwa nehutachiona hwehuro hwechiya. Zviratidzo zvangu chete zvaive kupisa zvishoma uye kurwadza kwehuro, kwandakatora kuti nditonhoreke. Pashure paizvozvo ndakatanga kutyisa yechokwadi stomatitisuye kurwadziwa kwacho kwakava kukuru. Izvo zvaiita sekunge matani angu aigara achibikwa kumashure kwemutsipa wangu.
Pakutanga kwedambudziko reAIDS, mutori wenhau ane mukurumbira Randy Shields akafanotaura mhando yekusvibira kwekudzivirira kwezvirimwa munyika yengochani, yakakonzerwa nekushaikwa kwehunhu hwekuvhara kwevakadzi uye nehuwandu hwakawandisa hwe testosterone, iyo inogadzira mamiriro ezvinhu ehupamhi hwehurombo, zvichitungamira mukupiswa kwevaya vese vanobatanidzwa:
"Hapana chinhu mune gay subculture iyo inogona mwero yehumwari hunhu hunhu, inoonekwa yakadhakwa seyese chero humhandara hwaisambofungidzira nezvayo. Kusazvibata kwakapararira, nekuti muccconomy inongova nevarume chete, hapana wekutaura kuti aiwa. Hapana munhu ane chero basa rekuenzanisa rakafanana neraiye remunhukadzi mune imwe yaanogara. Vamwe varume vanoita zvechipfambi vakabvuma kuti vanganakidzwa nepfungwa yekukurumidza, inowanikwa, kunyangwe bonde risingazivikanwe rinopihwa nevarume vanoita gay kana vangangowana vakadzi vanoda kuzviita. Chokwadi, ngochani, tinowirirana. ”
Humwe husiku hwaitonhora hwechando ndakanga ndakagara ndega mumba mangu uye ndisingakwanise kuzorora. Ndakatarisa kunze nepahwindo kuCastro Theatre uye ndaigona kuona mureza wemurarabungu mukuru uchibhururuka mumhepo. Ndakarangarira kekutanga kukomberedza chikomo kuDivisidero makore gumi apfuura ndikabata maziso ekutanga evarume vakawanda ngochani vachifamba vasina hembe, vane chivimbo uye vanozvikudza. Zuva iri raidziya uye rakanaka zvisingaite. Mavara akajeka emureza akamira senge chishongo chakanangana neisina makore, yekristaro bhuruu bhuruu. Zvakandirovesa nehana nekuti pakati penjodzi yeAIDS, ndakatarisira kunge ndiri mubhaisikopo dema nechena rinotyisa ine zombies dzine hutachiona hweHIV dzakandimirira kuti dzindivhime ndigodya nyama yangu. ... Asi ini ndaive nesarudzo shoma. Ini ndaifanira kutora njodzi yekuisa hupenyu hwangu patambo kwechinguva cherudo, kana kusara ndega zvachose. Iyo yekupedzisira yakanga isingafungidzike. Rufu rwaive nani kuramba manzwiro angu. Kumanikidza huma yangu kwakatarisana negirazi inotonhorera yewindow, ndakaona kuti mushure memakore, ndakanga ndauya izere denderedzwa. Ndisina kufunga, ndakapinda muchimbuzi ndokukambaira pasi pesink paive newangu wememas. Musi iwoyo ndakava newokupedzisira. Ndakagara pachimbuzi ndichichema. Ndakanga ndisingazive zvandaiita, asi chero zvazvaive, ndaisada kuzviita. Panguva iyoyo, ndakanzwa ndakamanikidzwa uye ndakapotsa ndisingakwanisi kusarudza zviito zvangu. Ndakanzwa izwi mumusoro mangu richiti, "Haufanire kuita izvi," asi muviri wangu waidzorwa kure.
Ndakabuda panze, ndikatendeuka kona ndokunanga kuimba yandaida yebonde. Pandakanga ndiri mutsva kuSan Francisco, ini ndaingotaura nevamwe varume mukamuri yekutandarira kwega ngochani uye ma discos. Handina kuwana kugutsikana, ndaida kunamatira muNzvimbo Tsvene. Ndakasarudza kirabhu yebonde, yandakapfuura mazana emazana, asi handina kushinga kuenda. Pamusuwo paseri pegirazi rekuputika paive paine mhanza yakatarwa ine mhanza neuso hwebwe. Ndakatarisira kuti anga ari harbinger weanhurume mukati. Ndichingobhadhara kubvuma uye nekupinda napamusuwo, murima mubetseri wechikadzi akabuda panze. Aive chubby uye ane nyama kunge musikana. Kupfava kwayo kwaive kusemesa uye kusingafadzi chiyeuchidzo chemafuta emucheche uye premenstrual bloating. Nenzira isingashamisi, iye akandiyeuchidza nezve kusakwanisa kweiyo ngochani kubereka vana. Aive chiratidzo chesavharo. Isu taida varume vaiita kunge varume. Paive nemirairo yakasimba mune yechirume gay tsika, uye futi dhiza quins vaionekwa sevanobudirira kana ivo vaingotaridzika sevatezvara [asi vaisaratidzika sevakadzi] Akanditambidza kondomu uye kabhegi-kakaita kunge bhegi remafuta. Ndakakanda bhegi rangu muchovha mukamuri ndokuenderera mberi nekufamba famba mukamuri, ndakapfeka zvakakwana. Ndaigona sei Vamwe vese vaisashama kana vaingopfeka tauro chena chete muchiuno. Mubatsiri asina fomu akamhanyira kwandiri uye akanditsiura nekusaziva kwangu. “Haugone kufamba muno mune zvipfeko,” akaraira kudaro. Ndakadzokera kubedroom ndokubvisa zvese.
Maumbirwo ekirabhu yacho aisanganisira nenzvimbo dzinoverengeka dzaiwanikwa, dzakava nerima sezvavanofamba zvakadzama. Iko kushongedza kwaisanganisira macross evarume vese: chrome yakapukutwa, mitema yevhinyu dema uye murals ane bodybuilders. Nzvimbo dzepamberi ndidzo dzaive dzakazara kwazvo, kumashure kwadzo kwainge kwakaita makamuri asina kupendwa akapendwa nhema. Pakutanga ndakagara mubhavhu, iro rakavhurwa mune yekutanga yakagadzirirwa yekugezera sofa uye sauna. Aya anga ari matanho emitambo, apo, semakamuri akapatsanurana, ngochani zvakadzoreredza kushungurudzika kwevacheche, uko kusavimbika kwakadzoserwa mushure mezvidzidzo zvemuviri zvakagadziriswa nenzira iyi yekurapa kweboka. Pano, zvingangoita kweusiku humwe, kuvhiringidzika kweudiki kwakapotsa kunyangarika, asi panguva imwecheteyo humwe humwe humambo hwechikoro hwakachengetwa, uko iyo inonakidza yemuviri yakaramba iri iyo huru. Kurambwa kwaivapo, asi kwaive kuchenjera, uye munhu wese, kunyangwe sagging uye vakuru, vaigona kuwana wekuroora. Mune zvakanyanyisa kuitika, mumakamuri ekumashure makarongedzwa varume vaingoda chete muviri wechirume neropa rinoyerera kuburikidza nemitsipa yayo. Hapana chete chinhu chakadzika zvakadzika. Kufanana nekuseka kwenguva refu dildo dzakatengeswa mune yega gay sex shopu, hapana chaigona kupinda mukati uye kubata pane chinenge chakanyanyisa kurwadza. Ndakarangarira shamwari yaive nehunhu hunoshamisa hweku chibhakera. Akarota kuti zuva raizouya apo raaigona kugamuchira murume pamusoro pezasi. Chaive chingangoita chinoshamisa kuvaka patsva kwechibayiro chevanhu cheaziteki, umo mupirisiti wakapinda mukati mechitunha ndokuburitsa moyo uchiri kurova wemunhu akashata.
Ngochani bonde waive musanganiswa wemafaro uye kushungurudzwa. Chimiro chekuzvidzora umo maronda achangobva kukuvadzwa haapore, uye vakwegura vanokanganwika. Kupererwa nezano, zvese zvinova mhando yechisimba melodrama: varume vanosungwa uye vanotambudzwa, senge mune yekuona zvinonyadzisira-kutamba mutambo unoratidza kuurayirwa kwechiKristu chekutanga. Musiyano chete ndewekuti kusunungurwa hakuitike kuburikidza nekuyananisa kutambura, saka munhu wese anoenda kumberi.
Ini ndakabuda mukamuri yekugezesa ndokuenda kuchikamu hombe chakachengeterwa maseketi uye akasiyana mabhenji ekudzidzira. Iyo pfuti yeakachenera grey yemadziro yakafanana nechitoro chemuchina kana garaji. Nzvimbo iyi yakasiiwa-hafu, asi paive nekunhuhwirira kwakakosha, kwaisanganisira kusanganisa kwemweya unonamira kubva kuimba yekugezesa uye musk uchibva kumakona akadzika ekirabhu. Izvi zvakavhiringidza uye zvinodhaka, zvichizunza kumberi ndangariro dzakavanzika dzese dzenzvimbo dzevarume kubva kwandakanga ndadzingirwa zvachose. Sezvo ndiri mukomana asingagone kuchengetedzwa, ini ndainyatsotarisana uye nekutya kwevakadzi yekuvhara mukamuri yekushambira, uko mhuri yangu yaiwanzoshanyira muzhizha. Chinangwa changu chaisangove chekutarisa murume asina kupfeka; mafaro acho aingova pakati pevanhu. Izvi zvaive zvakatokwana kururamisa mutengo wekupinda gay sauna kana disco. Muchokwadi, isu takagadzirira kubhadhara chero chinhu.
Ndakatura befu uye, ndichisundwa nekumhanya kwakaungana kweadrenaline uye chishuwo chekuda kuva nhengo, ndakapinda mudungwe rakasimba revarume vaifamba kumwe. Iyi “imwe nzvimbo” yakanga yakavanzwa murima rose. Ini ndaingokwanisa kuburitsa zvinyorwa zvisina kujeka zvakafanana nemhando dzevanhu. Kumberi ndakanga ndisingakwanisi kugadzira bhenji rectangular rakavheneka, iro, sepasi, rakanga rakafukidzwa nerima. Vakazendama pamusoro pebhenji, varume vakati wandei vasina kupfeka vakanga vakapfugama. Ndaisaona misoro yavo kana zviso zvavo, vaingosimudza matako. Ndakamira ndakamira kwemasekonzi akati wandei. Hezvinoi. Ndakanga ndasvika pakuguma kwezvishuwo zvangu zvakadzama. Mhedzisiro chaiyo yengochani yega yega ndeyekupfugama, yakatambanudza matako, ichitarisira kuti pane murume achaonekwa. Chete musangano uyu wekufungidzira neanopfuura, neWemasimbaose, unopera sekusangana kwechirume - nekudonha kunoparadza kwe androgens kusvika padanho rinoganhurana nekuora mwoyo. Zvinoita kuti munhu wese afunge. Nekuda kweizvozvo, ngochani dzisingazivi dzinoedza kutsvenesa bonde, uye mukupererwa kwavo inova chimwe chinhu chakasviba. Queer theorist uye munyori wenhau dzakaitika Michael Bronski akayeuka sei San Francisco kuti ngochani pabonde makirabhu pamberi nguva AIDS akava "chechi" uye, kwaari, "inoshamisa uye tsvene, kunyange mutsvene."
Mu2013, muparidzi weungochani uye mupanduki Dan Savage, akarerwa somuKatorike, achitaura pachirongwa chaBill Maher, akati: “Kune avo vanoti varume vaviri havagone kubereka mwana, ndinogara ndichipindura kuti kuna Mwari hapana chinhu chingaitika. Naizvozvo, ini ndicharamba ndichikumbirisa murume wangu uye ndichengete zvigunwe zvangu kuyambuka ”. Kunyangwe neicho chinoshamisa uye chinyakare, kekutanga kubvira Randy Shields paakasiya nyika ino, chimwe chinhu chakadzama kujekesa chakataurwa nemurume gay nezve ngochani dzechirume. Savage nokusaziva akaburitsa chikanganiso chikuru mukuedzwa kweungochani: mweya wake unoparadza. Panzvimbo pekugamuchira chokwadi ichi, pane zvinoshamisa zvinodzokera kune izvo zvaimbove zvichinzi "tsika dzechihedheni." Kunyangwe pamberi peStonewall mhirizhonga, piyona wekurwira kodzero dzengochani, Karl Wittmann, mukuchinja kwake "Ngochani kuratidza"Akapa yambiro inotevera:
"Varume ngochani vanofanira kumira kuongorora kuzvivimba kwavo nemafungiro avanotevedzera emuchato. Vakaroora kana vakadzi vakaroora vanozova nematambudziko akafanana neechani, uye mutsauko chete uri wekuti ivo vachazoita parody. Kusunungurwa kwevechingochani kuti isu pachedu tinosarudza nzira uye nevatinogara navo, panzvimbo pekuongorora hukama hwedu neruremekedzo kuvanhu vakatwasuka nezvavainotenda.
Pasi pekukosha kwebiology yechirume, yakasunungurwa kubva kune zvinopesana nemadzimai uye vasikana, varume vanoita zveungochani vanowanzoita hukama hwakawanda uye kusagadzikana, nokudaro nhamba yakaderera kuroora-kwakafanana kuroora kana kuroorwa (9,6%), iyo mushure mekutonga kwaObergefell yakawedzera chete ne1,7%, pamwe kuchengetedza hutachiona hweHIV pakati pevarume mune hunofungidzirwa hukama hwakasimba. Zvinokurudzirwa naWittmann ndezvechokwadi, hushamwari hwehukama pakati pevanhurume, avo kazhinji vasinganyori, asi kutaurirana hukama pachena. Nekudaro, chitarisiko chinogadzirwa chakaenzana nehurume nevarume nehurechani kana kuita zvechisimba. Hazvifananidzi kuti vatenderi vekuroora kana kuroorwa vanga vari vakuru uye vangangoita varume kana vakadzi ngochani. Hwemurume-wepamurume menopausal chimiro uye kusarudzika kwakanyanya kwechechanechani (kunyangwe kuverengera kusagadzikana kwepfungwa) zvakanyatsogadzirisa mifananidzo yehukadzi hwechirume, iyo muma70 yakaiswa nenzira inotevedzera castro clones uye Boka Revanhu Vemusha. Nekudaro, rakanyatsogezeswa uye rakanyanyisa oiri yemazuva ano gay zvidhori zvakaoneka, saNate Berkus naNeil Patrick Harris.
Iro risingabudiki uye rinotsemuka bonde rechingochani rakangorarama chete mune hardcore risingagadziriswe porn. Kusvika kumagumo e1990's, anal kurara pasina kondomu kwainge kusingafungike mune gay porn. Ipapo mumwe murume anoona zvinonyadzisira muSan Francisco anonzi Paul Morris akamutsidzira nyika yakashata yenguva yeAIDS. Kubva ipapo, huwandu hwevanhurume vanoita ungochani vanogara vachiita bonde vasina kondomu, inoramba ichikura.
kondomu")
Mhemberero dzakavhurika dzebonde dzisina kudzivirirwa, pamwe nekuita kwakasiyana kwekuchengetedza, kuchiguma mukunyoreswa kwemuchato wevakomana nevasikana, kwakatangwa nekurangarira hutsinye hweAIDS. Iyi ndiyo yaive mhinduro yeavo vakada kudzokera ku70, kumufananidzo chaiwo wemurume ngochani akagadzirwa nevezvenhau iro raitonga makore makumi maviri apfuura - mufananidzo wemurume aneta uye anoremekedzwa. Asi nguva pfupi yadarika, paradigm nyowani yakagadzirwa, pamwe nekunzwisisika kusanganisa kubatanidzwa kwevanhurume nevanhukadzi munharaunda isinga nzwisisike LGBT, nemukadzi ari androgynous senge isinga goneki yake - Ellen DeGeneres.
Hupenyu hwangu nehupenyu hweve ngochani vakapona panguva ino yenguva vanoratidza tariro, kusagadzikana, nekudonha kwekupedzisira kunguva iyoyo pamwe nekuyedza kwengochani. Mushure mezvose, takasvika muSan Francisco, New York, Los Angeles kana kumwewo kune imwecheteyo yakafanana yekutarisira: kuwana mumwe munhu wekuda, uye kuti akatida mukudzoka. Pakutanga, kurudziro yekutanga kwakasimba, iyo yaisanganisira kushandiswa kwemakondomu, nonoxynol-9, uye kunyangwe madhiri emeno, zvaiita kunge mutengo mudiki mushure memakore ekurwadza uye anetsa, panguva yatakatambudzika nekuzivikanwa kwedu. Kugeza mune mutsva nyowani, kunzwa kwekufema kwemurume pamutsipa wedu zvaive zvakakwana kuti atitumire mukufara. Ipapo zvinhu zvese zvinoshanduka. Awe anova akakurumidza uye asinganyanye kusimba. Kuenda kubar kana disco kunoita sekutarisa iyo yekare yakafanana magazine iro raunoba muchitoro chemuno semwana. Paakangokoshesa pfuma inova inotambudza, uye unomukanda kure. Uku kushata kuri kuitika pakati pevhurume vese, ngochani nevarume vanoita zvechani, avo vari kungogara vachiita zvehuori zvisingawanzoitika muInternet.
Kutya kuti mufaro urikuita senge uri kupera, varume vazhinji vanozeza uye zviitwa zvavo zvinowedzera kusaremekedza uye hupombwe. Pakazosvika makore ekuma1990, iye akambotya mukomana ane makore gumi nemasere aigona kuita chero chinhu. Kwechinguva, kuratidzira kwaive kutsva kwakasanganisira zvese. Pamberi pekuuya kwenzvimbo dzekushamwaridzana pasocial network, ndakazviratidza manheru emamateur kukirabhu yemuno yechikadzi. Mukufaira kwekupedzisira, ndakatsvedza ndikadonha pachikuva, ndichipinda mumadhaka emurume nemafuta izvo zvakange zvabuda kubva kune aimboita mutambi. Ndakatanga kuita bonde mumapaki emuno, mumotokari dzakapakwa, mudzimbuzi dzinotakurika panguva yekuzvikudza kwev ngochani. Pahusiku hwaizove hwekupedzisira segayani, ndakanga ndagadzirira kuisa njodzi pazvinhu zvese kekupedzisira. Kutsvaga kwangu kwekuzivikanwa, rudo, uye hunhu hwechirume kwakaramba kwakakwana uye zvisina tariro. Ini ndakapedzisira ndoda kwandakatangira, ndakamira panenge panguva imwechete muchadenga semakore gumi apfuura. Asi ndakanga ndichiri kutya. Kana ari mukomana, haana kumbondisiya. Hupenyu hweungochani uye kurara nevarume hazvina kumuita murume. Akanga achiri kutsvaga, kwaakanditora kuenda neni. Muviri wangu chete ndiwo wainge wave kudonha.
Mangwanani-ngwanani, ndichinyatsoziva mushure mekuita zvebonde, ndakagwinha ndikawira mugomba. Ini ndange ndichitsvaira ropa, uye kubata kwemukati kwemudumbu kwakaita kuti colon yangu rivemo nezvayo. Ndakasvikira hembe yangu yemukati - ndanga ndichibuda ropa kubva mukati. Hupenyu hwangu hwaiyerera kubva kumagumo ese. Iko, mukufunga kwangu, pakanga paine mukova wekusimudzwa, ndakagogodza nzira yekumhanyira kurufu. Uku ndiko kwanga kuri kunyadziswa kwangu kwekupedzisira. Kana denga raireva rumwe rudzi rwehupenyu mushure mekurarama, uye gehena raizove iro rekupedzisira uye risingaperi kuguma kwekutambudzwa uku, ini ndaizosarudza kutuka.
Ndakapinda muSan Francisco nemakumbo angu, asi ndakasiya ari pawatch. Iye murume akandibata zuva rakasviba kudaro aive asina kufanana nemunhu wese wandakambosangana naye. Akatora muviri wangu usina hupenyu kumba - kumba kwevabereki vangu. Ikoko, ndakamuka mukamuri rangu rekare rekuvata, ndakakomberedzwa nemusoro ndangariro dzakati wandei dzehumwana. Mubhedha chaiwo wandakamborara nehope dzangu dzekutanga kunyorova, manje ndakabatirwa neropa.
Mwedzi yakatevera yakagarwa nekutevedzana kwemisangano nevarapi vakasiyana-siyana, nyanzvi nevarapi. Kunyara uye kurwadziwa kwandakanga ndichitiza kubva kwenguva yakareba zvino zvaive zvisingagone. Pamberi pekuvhiya, ndakamanikidzwa kuda kuseka nenzira yekuzvichenesa iyo yandakaita nekusingaperi.
Munguva yekuita, chikamu cheangu rectum chakabviswa nekuda kwekuvapo kwemavanga akasimba emukati. Semunhu akabatwa akasungwa weMarquis de Sade, ma sphincters angu akasungwa necheni. Ini ndakagadziriswa rakareba runyorwa rwemamollients uye laxatives, andaifanira kunwa yakawanda kuti ndigadzire kufamba kwematumbo kuburikidza negomba rakamanikana. Nzira dzekuchengera hadzina kushanda, uye ini ndakabvarura seams. Kuti ndimise kubuda ropa, ndakaisa tauro mune zvikabudura ndikananga kuimba yekukurumidzira. Pandakanga ndakatsamira kumadziro eimba yekumirira, pakati pekurwara kwevana nevarwere vakwegura vane chizunguzungu, ropa rakatanga kuyerera nepabururu.
Kwemaawa mashoma anotevera, ndinorara pane yakasimba hospital hospital. Ndakafonera mukoti, asi kwaingova nehuswa. Vechidiki vechidiki vakarara padivi padivi peketepa rakatetepa: mumwe akarwara nepiritsi rakawandisa remishonga, uye mumwe kubva kutapukirwa kwakakomba kwezvikamu zvepelvic nekuda kwepamberi STD. Yakanga iri purigatori.
Ini ndaifanirwa kuenda kuchimbuzi, uye ndakafambisa ndichienda kuimba yekutandarira ndichipfuura ndichicheneswa patsva. Kudzokera pamubhedha wangu, ndakasiya nzira yemadiki madiki matsvuku kumashure kwangu. Iyi yakanga isiri nzvimbo yepakati pakati kwedenga nepasi - yaive gehena. Ini ndakafa uye ndakaendeswa kune kusingaperi kushungurudzwa sehunhu mune bawdy tale - mukomana ane akaputsika kumashure. Kusvika pakutya kukuru kwachiremba nevanamukoti, ndakazvibvisa muchipatara ndokuenda kumba.
Pamazuva mashoma akatevera, ini hapana chandakadya kunze kwegiramu, hupfu hwakasanganiswa nemvura uye neplum juice. Ndakamira ndichigeza, ndakazvishingisa pamakumbo angu. Ini handina kugona kugara kana kunetsa. Nguva dzinoverengeka ini handina kuwana nguva yekubva pamubhedha wangu kuenda kuchimbuzi. Ndichingori mamita kubva kuchimbuzi, ndakatsvedza ndokuwira pamusoro petafura, iyo yakatanga kutsvedza kubva pakatsvedza.
Muviri wangu wakapora zvishoma, asi zvakadaro, ndakaramba ndichiita tsvina. Kumwe kushanda kunoteera, uye kumwezve. Makore mazhinji gare gare, ini ndinoramba ndichitambura nekusagadzikana kwekusakwana. Zvisinei nekunetseka, kwechinguva kurwadziwa uye kunyara, ndinozviona ndakakomborerwa nekuti ini ndakakwanisa kubva muungochani husina kujairika ndichienzanisa nevazhinji veshamwari dzangu. Mamwe mavanga anogara neni pandinenge ndiri mupenyu, asi ini ndinogona kurarama navo. Nenzira, ivo chiyeuchidzo chenguva dzose chekuti ini ndaive ani uye kubva mandiri Mwari akandiponesa. Vamwe vanotakura mamakisi ekusavimbika ehutachiona hwehutachiona hwehutachiona hwevanhu vanohwanda mune chero chikamu chemuviri wavo. Asi nekufamba kwemakore, matambudziko angu ehutano akawedzera. Ndiri kunzwa ndakura. Idzo shamwari shoma dzakapona pakurarama kwedu kwekutanga dziri mudambudziko rimwe chete. Isu tinoperekedzana kune imwe nguva kunoonekwa kwachiremba, tinogara tichitumira zvikwangwani nezvishuvo zvekupora uye tinoronga minamato yekurapa mumwe nemumwe. Kutsvaka kwedu rudo kwakapera muhope dzisina kuzadzikiswa, miviri yakashatiswa nemakuva emakuva.
Mukuda kwedu kusingadzivisiki kwekunzwisisa nyika uye isu pachedu, isu takagadzirira kuenda kunopesana neZvisikwa uye Mwari pachavo. Isu takaregeredza zvekutanga zve physiology, uye nekuda kwekutyorwa uku takabhadhara zvakanyanya, pamwe chete uye mumwe nemumwe. Mukuita uku, takakanda miviri yedu uye tsika yakatenderedza mumhirizhonga. Mukuedza kusiririsa kwekuedza kuzviruramisa, takadaidzira kuti nharaunda ibvume kupanduka kwedu. Asi mutemo wakamiswa nevanhu haugone kuchinja chimiro chedu.
Source: Joseph Sciambra. Kupukunyuka Ngochani ... Hureru. Akadudzirwa.
Kubva pane zvakataurwa zvasiiwa pasi pechinyorwa chekutanga:
kusazivikanwa
Ndakaonawo izvi, asi kwete muSan Francisco. Izvi zvinoitika nesu mune chero guta hombe. Ini ndaida kugamuchirwa nevarume uye rudo, asi ndakatsikwa-tsikwa kakawanda. Ndine makore makumi matanhatu nemaviri uye ndinofanira kupfeka manapukeni. Zvepabonde pabonde isakaramende yaSatani ...
Michael
Chokwadi runako. Mashoko ako akanaka. Ndakave nechiitiko chakafanana, uye tinoratidzika kunge tiri vezera rakaenzana, saka ndinogona kusimbisa zvese zvakanyorwa - mutongo wese unorira zvechokwadi ...
Joe
Zvese izvi ichokwadi. Ndiri pedyo nezera rako. Ndakasvika muChicago ndikagara munyika ino kwemakore gumi. Herpes, scabies (usabvunze), syphilis, chirwere chakakomba chembambo fungus uye pakupedzisira HIV. Ini ndaive mukomana akanaka, izvo, zvakadaro, hazvina kundinunura ...
George
Ndakabatwa chibharo kubva pa8 kusvika kumakore 12, uye kubva pamakore 11 ndakatanga kurova izvi nevezera. Kunyangwe ndisina kumbozivikanwa se "ngochani," ndakaviga chirevo changu muchivande chekudzosera zvakabiwa kubva kwandiri, uye kubata vamwe varume kuburikidza nekuita zvepabonde zvakare nezvehumhondi hwangu, panguva ino pakushama. Ndakatsvaga iwo iwo mafungiro ekuve, kusimbiswa, kutarisisa, uye nehutano ihwohwo hwehurume hwaive hwakagadzirwa naBaba vangu kuti huve mandiri semukomana (asi iye haana). Chido chisingagadzikane chekuita nevarume chakazoita kunge chigeji, izvo zvaingoita kuti ndinzwe kutonyanya kuputswa uye kunyangwe yakasviba kupfuura pandakatanga. Zvandakateedzera zvakazove wangu murume. Makore chete emu 49 makore, akapotsa abatwa, izvo zvaizoparadza imba yangu nemhuri, ndipo pandakazonzwisisa zvese zvese.
Muhudiki hwangu ndakanga ndine babamunini vaviri ngochani, mumwe wavo akafa pazera re18 kubva padhuze, uye mumwe airarama chaizvo sekurondedzerwa, paine musiyano wega wekuti akafa akafa ari ega muhutapwa, kunyangwe aidiwa zvakanyanya nesu - iye mhuri. Haana kukwanisa kubvuma kuti kunyangwe pane zvese zvaanga ari, vachiri kumuda. Hupenyu hwake pano Pasi haana kusiya chero chiyeuchidzo nezvake. Zvinosuruvarisa kufunga nezvazvo, asi zviripo. Kunyangwe ndichiri mudiki, ndaiziva kuti shamwari dzake zhinji dzafa neAIDS, vamwe ini ndakasangana navo. Vamwe, saiye, vaizvinyaradza kana kuzvishandisa zvinodhaka kusvika parufu nemishonga. Kunyangwe pandakanga ndiri mudiki, ndaiziva kuti izvi (kuva ngochani) hazvisi izvo zvandaida muhupenyu hwangu, asi zvakadaro, ndakanga ndiri bofu uye ndakarasika mukusava nesimba kwangu kose, ndichitungamirwa nepfungwa imwechete yakaputsika yehurume. Ndatenda Mwari nekuvhura maziso angu kuchokwadi ichi.
Kazhinji, mumwe nemumwe wedu anosarudza nzira yekurasa muviri wake, kwete Timura Bulatov nevane Russian masimba.
enda kugehena mbeveve mhuka
Unorevei
Ini ndakakura ndichijairika. Ndakafarira vasikana.
Chokwadi, ndaiwanzowana mashoko pamusoro pezvinonzi “rudo rwomurume mumwe chete” uye izvi zvaindishamisa uye kusemeswa. Pandakanga ndichidzidza pachikoro, pakati peshamwari dzakawanda dzepedyo, ndakasangana nomumwe mukomana ainditeerera zvikuru. Pakutanga handina kuita hanya nemaitiro aya. Asi pashure pemwedzi inoverengeka yokudzidza noushamwari, ndakaona kuti ndaiswededzwa pedyo naye. Kwaiva kurova. Ndakatadza kujaira kuti ndiri murudo. Rimwe zuva, ndakatanga kutaura pamusoro peizvi neshamwari yangu, uye akabvuma kwandiri kuti akanga ane ungochani, kuti akanga atosarudza pamusoro pekuzivikanwa kwake kare kare, uye kuti izvi "zvakajairika" ... Uye izvo, zvechokwadi. , tinogona kutanga ukama. Ndakagadzirira kubvuma, asi chimwe chinhu chakanditadzisa kupindura pakarepo. Uye ndakatanga kubvunza pamusoro pake, ndakatevera ... Zvakazoitika kuti akanga atova neHIV (akandivanzira) uye haana kuzvidza ukama hupfupi. Asi ndakanga "ndisina musoro", uye ndakafunga kuti hazvisi zvinhu zvose zvakanga zvakanyanyisa, kuti apa paiva, "rudo" rwechokwadi rwakanga rwauya. Rega ndiite reservation ipapo kuti handina kumhanyira kupinda mu "relationship" uye bonde harina kuitika pakati pedu. Shamwari yangu yakandisuma kuboka revanhu vaaizivana navo. Ndakakatyamadzwa nematauriro akaita iyi subculture mumutauro usinganzwisisike uye nemaitiro anoshamisa. Asi zvishoma nezvishoma, vazivikanwi ava vakandikoka kuti timbotandara kana kuti tifambe tose. Hapana mumwe munhu wandaida kunze kwechinhu chandaidisa. Zvisinei, ndakatanga kugamuchira zvipo zvakasiyana-siyana. Uye mukirabhu yengochani yatakashanyira mamwe manheru makanga mune bacchanalia chaiyo, chimwe chinhu chandakanga ndisati ndamboona.
Zvaiita senge kuti chimwe chinhu chiri kundiyedza simba. Ndakarega kutaura nevanhu nemunhu nekambani yavo. Kutsanangura kune aimbove shamwari kuti izvi hazvisi zvangu. Nekuti ini handioni kutendeka nekuvimbika. Ndakaedza kurarama zvakasiyana vasina ivo, ndichiedza kuti ndisazununguse manzwiro angu mune ino nzira. Mushure mekurambana nekambani, tsamba dzisingazivikanwe uye kutyisidzirwa kwakanaya pamusoro pangu, asi handina kuita hanya.
Ndakaedza kuvandudza. Ndichiziva kuti imwe nzira kana imwe ndaizokweverwa kune iyo isingafadzi zvakadaro, asiwo "inodiwa" kambani, ndakaunganidza simba rangu ndokuenda kune wetsinga-psychiatrist. Uye akandibatsira! Obsessive-compulsive disorder uye kuora mwoyo zvakapora zvishoma nezvishoma. Kureva, kufarira kwangu mukomana kwakakonzerwa nekusashanda zvakanaka mu psyche yangu uye endocrine system!
Makore mazhinji apfuura, kugara zvakanaka, ndiri murume wemhuri.
Ndakaita rombo rakanaka, ndakapasa bvunzo ndisina kutyora. Iye zvino ndine zvese zvingadiwa nemunhu wese. Episodic kukwezva ngochani inogona kuitika nechinguva chidiki, chinhu chikuru hachisi kukudziridza iyi "kutadza muhurongwa" mukati mako. Chete kuburikidza nekurwisana neizvi, ndingazvitaura, chirwere, mufaro unogona kuwanikwa.
Haha yakanaka try, zoomed. Maonero ako anoita kunge emanyepo sechinyorwa.
Ndakasuka kubva pane zvakazarurirwa izvi.
mbichana shiti kwete fuck
uye nezvinhu izvi zvese zvakaipa zvinhu huwandu hwemapondo nemapango emapundu mukubatana huri kukura
Ndakaverenga iyi graphomania neyakaoma.
Iko kukosha kwenhau kuri nyore. Iye murume wacho akauya kuna San Francisco uye, sechifeve, akatanga kuzvipira kuvarume kusvika azvipedza iye nemuviri wake. Yakawanda yekunakidzwa, inonakidza chaizvo.
Uye izvozvo zvinorevei? Izvi zvinei nechekuita ne common sense chokwadi? Chokwadi chine hutano mauri - sengochani - rarama hupenyu hwako wakadzikama, unoda munhu uye munogara pamwe chete, muchifunganya nezve kunyaradzana? Chii chinonzi "tsika" dzezuva nezuva (Mwari, zvinongorwarisa kudzokorora kusasimba uku kwekusika) zvine chekuita nebasa, hunyanzvi uye mhuri? Sei ungochani = San Francisco nemabhawa engochani, kutsvaga "baba" vako uye bonde risingaperi rekumashure?
Aiwa, zvinongosetsa. Iwe uri munhu anoseka, seaya mafreaks akabatanidzwa nemifananidzo kune zvisingaperi zvinyorwa nezvekuti ungochani ihurwere hwekutsveyamisa. Zvakanaka chaizvo kuti iwe une ruzivo rwekutsanangura fecal kuratidzwa uye matambudziko nembongoro mune zvakadzama kudaro uye nekushingaira, asi ruzivo rwako ndiwo matambudziko eboka iro refreaks iro sangano rekuona kwenguva pfupi rakasarudza kubvuma sechiso cheungochani. Uye anogona kunzwisiswa. Sei kusagamuchira kana pane zvinyorwa zvakadai? Kana zvinyorwa izvi zviri kwese kwese?
Zvainyadzisa kutambisa nguva parugwaro urwu. "Kupona Ungochani ..." inoverenga musoro. Uye chirongwa chacho hachisi cherudo uye kugamuchirwa kwemunhukadzi, asi nezvehupenyu hwehupenzi hwebenzi.
Maroto aya eblue ane chekuita nezvei chaizvo? Izvi hazviitike muhupenyu, nekuti ngochani hachisi "imwe nzira yekusangana kwevanhu pabonde," asi neurotic yekudzivirira maitiro. Iko kunzverwa kwekuziva uko hukama hweungochani hunovakwa musanganiswa wekushuva, godo, uye kugarwa. Hezvino zvakanyorwa nevaongorori:
"Kufambidzana kweungochani kuita kwepasina basa rekufungidzira kusawanikwa kwekuzvibata: ivo vakazvigadzirira pachavo. Mumwe mudikani anonyudzwa zvakakwana - "anofanira kunge ari zvakakwana kwandiri." Uku kukumbira kusingabvumirwe kwerudo, kuda kwerudo kwete rudo rwechokwadi. Munhu chidimbu kana kunyangwe akasimba pamoyo anoramba achiri mudiki mukufunga kwake, manzwiro, maitiro, hukama nevabereki nevanhu vevanhu vake kana murume kana murume. "Haasvike pakukura uye anokurirwa nevacheche, kusapindirana narcissism uye kunyanyisa kuzvinyudza, kunyanya mukuchiva kwake -" Aardweg
"Ngochani dzinoratidza huwandu hweshanje husina musoro uye hwemhirizhonga husingaenzaniswi muhukama hwepabonde ... Kukwira kwemurume kuchinhu chinokwezva kuri kwechipiri. Kukwezva uku kunogara kuchisanganiswa nekuzvidza. Zvichienzaniswa nekuzvidzwa kweungochani kune avo vaanorara navo, ruvengo nekuzvidza vakadzi vevane mhirizhonga vanoita bonde misogynist zvinoita sezvakanaka. Kazhinji hunhu hwese hwe "mudiwa" hunodzimwa. Vazhinji ngochani vanobatana vanoitirana muzvimbuzi, kusaziva mumapaki uye kuTurkey mabhati, uko chinhu chebonde chisingaonekwe. Nzira dzakadai dzisiri dzekusvika "kuonana" dzinoita kuti kushanyira imba yevakadzi vanoita semhombwe. (Bergler).
"Kune chingochani, hukama pabonde kuedza kutora uye kutonga mumwe murume. Inoshanda sechipo chekufananidzira chemumwe munhu, uye inosanganisira kushungurudzika kwakawanda kupfuura rudo. Mukutsvaga kushamwaridzana nevamwe varume uye kuita kwavo zvepabonde, ngochani iri kuedza kuyananisa chikamu chakarasika chehunhu hwake. Sezvo kukwezva kwake kunobva mukushomeka, haakwanise kuda akasununguka: hunhu hwake hwekupokana kune murume kana mukadzi nekudzivirira hunokanganisa kugadzwa kwekuvimbana uye kushamwaridzana. Iye anongoona vamwe varume chete maererano neizvo zvavangaite kuti vagadzire kushomeka kwake. Nenzira idzi vanotora, kwete kupa. ” (Nicolosi).
"Takazoona kuti vanhu vane hurema hwekusimudzira, sekusvibira uye ngochani, vanosarudza zvinhu zverudo rwavo kuburikidza nekukwezva vanofarira. Vanozvitora semuenzaniso ”(Freud).
Ungochani chidimbu chepakati chekusimudzira pakati pean infantile narcissism uye wakakura humhandara, iri muchibereko pedyo ne narcissism. Saka ipapo, musimboti, hapana panogona kuve nehukama hwakakwana hwehukama. Kunyangwe ngochani ivo pachavo vanozvibvuma. Kubva mubhuku revaviri ngochani vanoratidzira vachidana ngochani nharaunda nyaya:
"Joni Gay wepakati achakuudza kuti arikutsvaga" pasina-kushushikana "hukama mune uyo mudiwa" haabatanidzwe zvakanyanya, haaite zvekumanikidza, uye anomupa mukana wakakwana wega. " Muchokwadi, hapana nzvimbo ichave inokwana, nekuti Joni haisi kutsvaga mudiwa, asi yefuckbuddy henchman - shamwari yekumbira fucking, mhando yekusavimbika mumba. Kana kusangana kwepamoyo kunotanga kuoneka muhukama (iyo, murondedzero, chingave chikonzero chakanyanya kunaka kwavari), vanorega kuva vakagadzikana, vo "kunetseka" vobva vapunzika. Zvisineyi, havasi vese ngochani vanotsvaga "hukama" hwakaoma kudaro. Vamwe vanoda romance chaiyo uye vangatoiwana. Chii chinoitika ipapo? Nekufamba kwenguva, iyo ziso rine ziso rinosimudza musoro waro wakashata. Hapanawo kumbove netsika yekuvimbika mune nzanga nharaunda. Kunyangwe achifadza sei ngochani nemudiwa wake, kazhinji achazopedzisira atsvaga x **. Chiyero chekutengesa pakati pevachati "vakaroora", mushure menguva yakati, chinosvika 100%. "
Uku kucherechedza kwevanopinda mukati kunotsigirwa zvizere nebasa resainzi. Iyo nguva yehukama pakati pevane-bonde vakaroorana iri paavhareji gore nehafu, uye kugara kwenguva refu, kuchiperekedzwa nemitambo isingagumi uye zviitiko zvegodo, zvinongovapo chete nekuda kwe "hukama hwakavhurika", kana, sezvakataurwa nemumiriri Andrew Salivan, nekuda kwe "nzwisiso yakadzama yekudikanwa kwekuvharirwa kwekunze ". Kutsvagisa kuratidza kusimba kwemibatanidzwa yemitezo yemitezo mimwe chete yokubereka nayo kwakawana kuti muukama huri pakati pamakore mashanu namashanu, 1% bedzi yavane ngochani vanotaura nezvomurume mumwe, uye hapana muhukama hunopfuura makore mashanu (McWhirter & Mattison, 5). Wepakati ungochani unoshandura vanoverengeka gumi nevaviri vanobatirana gore rega, uye mazana akati wandei mukati menguva yehupenyu hwake (Pollack, 4.5). Ongororo yakaitwa muSan Francisco (Bell naWeinberg, 5) yakaratidza kuti chikamu che1985% chevanhu vanoita zvebonde vane vanhu vanodarika mazana mashanu, uye 1985% vane vanopfuura 1978. Ongororo yakaitwa makore makumi maviri gare gare, yatove munguva yeAIDS, haina kuwana shanduko huru mu Maitiro: Anowanzoita ungochani anoshandura 43-500 vadyidzani panguva yehupenyu hwake, vangangoita 28% vaive ne1000-20 vadyidzani, uye imwe 101% yaive nevanopfuura 500 vadyidzani (Van de Ven et al. 15). Maererano neongororo yakaitwa muna 501, zvikamu makumi manomwe kubva muzana zvehutachiona hweHIV pakati pevane ngochani zvinoitika kuburikidza nemunhu wavanogara naye, nekuti kuwanda kwekubiridzira kunoitika pasina kushandisa kondomu.
Kunyangwe paine vakaroora vanozvipira vanhurume nevarume vanoita zveungochani, ivo vanowanzove kunze kwemutemo.
Iwe unayo, ini ndichakusunga iwe.
Kana zviri zvehukama hunogara makore 1,5, ichi chirevo chenhema - chidzidzo chakakurukurwa muchinyorwa chiri pachokwadi chakavakirwa pane data kubva kuAmsterdam Cohort Study pamusoro peHIV epidemiology. Muenzaniso uri nyore wechidzidzo ichi wakatorwa zvakanyanya kubva kumakiriniki eSTI uye nzvimbo dzekuvaraidza ngochani. Kusvikira 1995, iyo nzira yekubatanidzwa muchidzidzo ichi yaiwanzo kuve kuvapo kweanogona kuita vaviri vanoita zvepabonde mumwedzi mitanhatu yadarika. Uyezve, vanyori vanogumira muyenzaniso kune vanhu chete vari pasi pemakore makumi matatu ekuberekwa. Nekudaro, iyo sampuro yakamirirwa zvisingaenzanisirwe nevarume vechidiki vegay kubva kuAmsterdam avo vakatapukirwa neSTIs nekuda kwekuita bonde. Zviri pachena kuti hukama hwavo hahuzogara kwenguva refu.
Mudikani, izvi hazviitike nevarume vanoita zvepabonde. ))
"Kunyangwe paine vakaroorana vakazvipira vengochani, vanomiririra kusarudzika kumutemo."
Oh, kuverenga kumusoro, heteropairs vane parsley yakafanana!
Uri kutaura zvisina maturo! Zvese izvi zvakazvarirwa mumisoro yeavo vanoda kuzvisimudzira nekuda kwechinhu chavasinganzwisise zvachose. Ndinobvuma kuti zvidzidzo izvi zvakaitwa pakati peavo vanhu vanopedza hupenyu hwavo mumakirabhu ehusiku engochani mumaguta asina kutsarukana, vachirarama hupenyu hwehupombwe uye vakanyura muukama hweunzenza nevanhu vekutanga vavanosangana navo, ndosaka mufananidzo uyu wengochani wakaumbwa. Zvisinei, izvi zviri kure nechokwadi! Ngochani zhinji dzinorarama hupenyu hwakajairika, vazhinji vanovanza hunhu hwavo, vachipota vachifambidzana nevarume. Naizvozvo, hapana chikonzero chekubatanidza ngochani dzese nediki diki revarume vakaita bonde, neboka rematambudziko epfungwa, izvo, nenzira, hazvimuke kubva pasina, asi kubva mukukuvadzwa kwakagamuchirwa nekuda kwekurovererwa. pasi hunhu hwavo hwechirume, chisungo chekuvanza maitiro avo uye funga miniti yega yega kuitira kuti pasave neanoziva nezvavo. Handisi kutotaura nezvevaya vaidheererwa, vakanyadziswa, uye vainyombwa muuduku. Haisi iyo nzanga yedu inounza vanhu vakadai kusvika pakuti vanofanira kugara vari voga, kuvanza, kuita zvepabonde mumasuo uye muzvimbuzi, kuitira kuti varege kuzvisungirira kune zvinosungirwa uye kuti varege kuzviratidza kune shamwari nehama? Mushure mezvose, dambudziko guru nderekubvuma zvepabonde kune wese ari pedyo newe. Uye avo vakakwanisa kuita izvi, uye vakagamuchirwa saizvozvi, vanorarama zvakanaka uye vachifara! Asi vamwe vose vanoramba vachitambura uye vachirwadzisa vamwe.
Naizvozvo, ruzivo rwako rwese urwu muhupenyu chaihwo kutaura kusina maturo nevazivi vakavigwa avo, nekuda kwehungwaru hwavo hukuru, vakarasa kubata neicho chaicho!
Ndofunga mataura chokwadi... Murume uyu zviri pachena kuti aiva nedambudziko repfungwa izvo zvakazokonzera ungochani hwakadaro... Asi kune vakaroorana vanogarisana nemurume mumwe chete... Havapengeki uye vanoteererana... Asi nhamo, ndinofanira kubvuma kuti LGBT nharaunda haisati yaziva zvekuita nayo iwe pachako, ivo vanofanirwa kudzidziswa.
Iye munyori wenyaya ane matambudziko.
une matambudziko nemusoro wako
Chinyorwa chizere nekurwadziwa uye kuziva. Kutenda kumunyori nekuda kweushingi hwekubvuma izvo vamwe vakapona pakuodzwa mwoyo zvakadaro vakanyarara nezvazvo. Kuzvitsvaga kwega kunoenderera kuburikidza nekushanda pane mweya, uye kwete kuburikidza nemuviri .. Pamwe nyaya iyi inomisa mumwe munhu kubva mumatambudziko aya uye zvikanganiso, uye ichabatsira kugadzirisa dambudziko, uye kwete kuendesa mumhedzisiro inofa.
جج ے .ے
Iwe wakasarudzwa uye wakaropafadzwa murume
Mwari wangu anozotsausa vese vari kutsvaga zvinonyadzisira kuti vaverenge ichi chakafara
Iyo tariro kune vasina tariro nekuti Mwari ari mukutonga
Chinyorwa chinobatsira kwazvo sekupengenutsa. Kuti usararame mukunyepa. Zvakanga zvakaoma kuverenga. Asi zvese zviri sezvazviri, chokwadi.
Shamwari yepamoyo! Iwe unonyora zvakanaka, une chimiro chinoshamisa. Zvisineyi, uchivhundutsa vaverengi vese nezita rekuti “vave neruzivo rwechingochani,” uri kutsanangura hupenyu husiri hwengochani yakapfava, asi yehure reruchiva rekuAmerica-muEurope, rakanyura muunzenza uye ruchiva. Kubvumira uye kusununguka kwetsika ikoko kunokupa maonero enhema ehupenyu hwengochani. Varume vazhinji vanorarama hupenyu hwakayerwa, vazhinji vachivanza hupombwe hwavo, uye dzimwe nguva, kana zvishuwo zvikaenda pachiyero, vanowana mudiwa webonde. Nokudaro, vazhinji havana uye havazove nezvinetso zvoutano zvakadaro zvine chokuita nekuita zvepabonde. Mhando dzepabonde dzakanyanyisa, kuchinja nguva dzose kwevadiwa, mapoka, BDSM, nezvimwewo - ngochani dzakawanda dzinorota zvose izvi. Uye iwe, semunhu anoshingairira kuita zvese izvi uye asingadi kurwisa zvido zvako, unofanirwa kukohwa zvibereko zvehuhure hwako. Iwe unogona kunzwisisa: vakabata rusununguko rwakakwana, vakatanga kuona zvishuvo zvavo zvakavanzika uye zvisinganzwisisiki, kunyaradza manzwiro ekusava nehanya uye kusurukirwa nenhengo dzechirume. Asi, nditende, havasi vose vanorarama seizvi uye havasi vose vanorarama seizvi. Chiitiko chako chinosuwisa imhaka yemararamiro ako akashata uye kwete dambudziko reungochani. Zvinongoratidzika kwauri kuti zvachose ngochani dzese dzinoraramira pabonde-kamwe - izvi hazvisi zvachose ... Kungoti mutemo wemurume unotadzisa vakomana vaviri kufambidzana, saka zvakanyanya kuoma kuti vawane. mukwanyina, uye kutonyanya kurarama kwemakore. Asi, zvinosuruvarisa, ikozvino vakaroorana vakaroorana havagari vachifara zvachose ...
Ngochani ingangove yakasikwa uye yakaoma uye haigone kurwisa. Sezvo ndaive nemakore gumi nemana ndaida blowjob uye ndinoida ikozvino mushure memakore makumi mana, ndinoda kupa blowjob kuvarume vanondinakidza. Wovata nomukadzi womubikira. Uye kuti ndakava akaipa kubva pane izvi? Kwandiri, zvakanaka mumwe mudiwa uye mukana wekuona chishuwo changu uye kusatambura
Rugwaro rwakafanana nenganonyorwa chaiyo. Uye zvakatonyanya kushamisa inzvimbo yacho pachayo. Yakagadzirirwa kupinza musoro weLGBT mumisoro yevanhuwo zvavo. Asi nei pasina munhu ari kutsvaga nzira yakajairika yekurapa kana kudzivirira izvi? Hapana chinonzwisisika muchikamu che "Kurapa". Reparative therapy hairapi chero chinhu. Ndiri ngochani, ndinonzwisisa kuipa kwazvakaita uye ndinopa zvakawanda kuti ndive zvakajairika. Hazvizoite kuti ndinzwe zviri nani pane zvandinoverenga pane ino saiti. Sei munyaya iyi ndakadzidza nezve njodzi yekuisa chero chinhu kumusoro kwembongoro yako. Harisiro dambudziko. Shamwari yangu yepamoyo yakatwasuka. Ane musikana. Anoziva kuti ndiri ngochani, asi hapana chazvinokanganisa. Anonyatsoda vakadzi uye anoziva kuti haagone kuwana ngochani kubva kwandiri.
Ndiri kuda kuburitsa dingindira rekuti hazvizove nyore kune chero munhu kubva mukuparadzira kuora kune ngochani. Pachave nemakwikwi akawanda engochani, uye ngochani dzinosiririsa dzichatanga kushandura bonde kana vakafunga kuti unogona kungoda varume semukadzi. Uye uyu ndiwo mugumisiro chaiwo.
Ndinofunga kuti kurerwa kwomwana uye ukama hwakanaka nababa, hwandakanga ndisina kubvira ndichiri muduku, zvingadai zvakaunza zvikomborero zvakawanda.
Imhaka yekuti uri ngochani, sezviri pachena, uye haugone kuwana humbowo muchikamu che "Kurapwa" kuti reparative therapy inoshanda pamwero wechero psychotherapy (kufunga kwakadaro kwakasarudzika kunotsanangurwa nevanorwira LGBT pachavo mubhuku "After The Ball").
Dai pasina ve LGBT activists, saka vanhu vakaita sewe vaizobatwa vakadzikama munharaunda. Uye zvino vanoona simba rezvematongerwo enyika rinotsigirwa nevepasi rose.
Chokwadi, kuvandudzwa kwenzira dzekudzivirira kukwezvana kweungochani kunodiwa, sekugadzirwa kwemaitiro matsva ekudzoreredza kukwezvwa nevarume. Asi izvi zvinogoneka chete kana mamiriro akadaro achionekwa sekutsauka, sekupindwa muropa nekubhejera.
Mataurirwo ezvematongerwo enyika evanorwira LGBT kuti izvi ndizvo zvakajairika, uye ndinofunga kuti haungabvumirani neizvi, zvinotungamira kutyorwa kwekodzero dzevadiki, avo, kune rumwe rutivi, vane chokwadi chekusava netariro kwemamiriro avo, zvimwe, vanovanyima mukana wekuchinja.
vasikana vanoziva kuti kune vanhu vakawanda vane misogynists pakati pengochani, ava havasi transvestites, asi varume chaivo ngochani, ivo vanoita zvechinyakare, anti-feminists.