Zvizhinji zvezvinyorwa pazasi zvinoburitswa mushumo wekuongorora. "Rhetoric yengochani yekufambidzana muchiedza nesainzi chokwadi". doi:10.12731/978-5-907208-04-9, ISBN 978-5-907208-04-9

Nhanganyaya

Imwe yemashoko evatsigiri ve "LGBT" bato nderekuti kushamwaridzana kweungochani ndiko kunonzi. "Mhuri dzechingochani" - vanofungidzirwa kuti havana kusiyana kubva kumhuri dzinopesana nevarume vane tsika dzechinyakare. Mufananidzo uripo mune vezvenhau ndevekuti ungochani hukama hwakasimba, hwakasimba uye hune rudo sehwohwo hukama hwehukama, kana kutonyanya kuvaita. Mufananidzo uyu hausi wechokwadi, uye vazhinji vamiririri venharaunda yeungochani vanobvuma nokutendeseka. Vanhu vebonde chairo vanoita zvepabonde vari panjodzi yakawandisa yeSTDs, kushungurudzika mumuviri, kushushikana mupfungwa, kushandisa zvinodhaka, kuzviuraya uye kurovana kwepedyo. Ichi chinyorwa chino chinotarisa pazvinhu zvitatu zvakakosha zvehukama hwehukama hunovasiyanisa zvinoshamisa neanechani:
• unzenza uye maitiro ane hukama;
• hupfupi-hwakagara uye husina monogamous hukama;
• kuwanda kwemhirizhonga muhukama.

Zviri Mukati:

Rumbidzai
SEX MUDZIMAI DZEMABHUKU
"GAY SAUNAS"
DZIMWE NEMAHARA YEMAHARA
BAGCHASING
KUSVIRA NEMAHARA-KUKOSHESA KWEMAHARA
RUDZIVIRO VIOLENCE

Yakakosha Tsvaga

(1) Mukubatana kwevakaroorana vakaroorana uye vakachata vanogarisana, kunyanya pakati pevanhurume, pane yakakura kwazvo huremo hwekusangana pabonde kupfuura muvanhu vanechani.
(2) Kushamwaridzana kwevanhukadzi uye kuroora kana kuroorwa "vanowanzoita zvepabonde" kuvhurika "- vanobvumidza hukama hwepabonde kunze kwevaviri vaviri.
(3) Paavhareji, ngochani dzakanyoreswa zviri pamutemo zvehukama uye "michato" hupfupi zvikuru kupfuura varoorani.
(4) Iwo mazinga echisimba muhukama hwevanhu vanoita zvevakomana nevanofambidzana, kunyanya pakati pevakadzi, akakwirira kupfuura muhuwandu hwevanhukadzi.

Unzenza

Mune hukama hwepabonde pakati pevarume, unzenza ndiyo yakajairika uye chinhu chikuru mukupararira kwe STDs. Kugamuchirwa nemurume ngochani kwe "ngochani chiziviso" uye kupinda kwake mubato re "LGBT" zvakanyanya kuwedzera kushupika kwake (Van de ven xnumx) Yakakurumbira gay mutori wenhau Randy Shilts zvakanyorwaunzenza "Chaive musimboti wekupenga kwekuita zvechingochani kwe 70's" (Shilts 1987). Ongochani gurukota rezvemitemo, Gabriel Rotello akanyora kuti "gay" bato rakavakirwa pane:

"... hukama hwepabonde hwehupombwe uye kutsauka kubva pauipi uhu kunoreva kupandukira huwandu hwakaipa .." (Rotello 1998)

Ruchiva, sodomy, phalluses, uye kuratidzwa kwezvinonyadzisira kwehuhure nevadyidzani vakawanda ndizvo zvinotungamira mumabhuku eungochani, dariro, hunyanzvi hwekuona, uye mamwe marudzi ehunyanzvi.

Iyi furuji pamadziro eimwe chimbuzi chevoruzhinji cheNew York chakaitwa neAmerican pop art nyeredzi Keith Haring kurangarira makore makumi maviri emhirizhonga yeStonewall. Pasingasviki gore rapfuura, semunyori weunyanzvi uhu, yakatsanangurwa sei "Mutero kune mamwe mazuva asina kugadzikana ebonde remuchimbuzi" и "Iyo kukunda kukuru uye kusingachinjiki kukunda kwehukombwe"akafa neAIDS pazera re31.

Denda reAIDS rakatanga pakutanga kwe1980 chete rakadzora kushomekana kwehupombwe kwevarume vanoita zveungochani, uyezve ipapo kwenguva pfupi. Kuwedzera kushivirira kweruzhinji kune vanoita ngochani uye kusimukira kwemishonga yekurapa nekudzivirira AIDS kwakakonzeresa kutangazve kwehurombo hwehupombwe, iko zvino kwave kufambiswa zvikuru nenzvimbo dzakawanda dzekufambidzana uye mafoni mafoni mafomu.

"Grindr" ndiyo inonyanya kuzivikanwa geo-nzvimbo geo-application, iyo inobvumira GPS kuona iyo chinhambwe kune chekuita zvepabonde. Mucherechedzo wayo wekutanga, uchiyeuchidza nezvezviratidzo "Usapinda mazviri" kana "Chenjedzo chepfu", zvine hunyanzvi kutaura kwakasarudzika kwakaratidza kuti masevhisi aunopa anogona kukanganisa hupenyu. Sezvinoratidzwa kudzidza, nezve 50% yevashandisi veizvi zvishandiso havashandise makondomu. Shandisawo zvinoshandisirwa kushandiswa vanobata chibharo, makororo uye seriya mhondi. Ungochani munyori uye muratidziri Gary Lambert zvaidikanwakuti hapana mumwechete 50-ane makore ngochani asingazive kana munhu mumwe akaurayiwa panguva yetsaona. Sekureva kwaLambert, kuda kwakasimba-kunomanikidza kuda bonde kunotonga kuziva kwe "ngochani," uye kune vazhinji vadzo chinangwa chikuru muhupenyu ndeche:

“… Muenzaniso wemafungiro avo eruchiva uye kubudirira kwehukama hwepedyo nevamwe varume. Kutyisidzira kwehutachiwana hweHIV kunosimbisa zvishuwo zvavo, nekuti njodzi yacho painokura, ndipo panonyanya kunzwa ”Lambert 1993).

Izvo zvakataurwa naLambert zvinoratidzira chiitiko cheaimbove purezidhendi weAmerican Psychological Association, Nicholas Cummings, akamhanya kiriniki muSan Francisco:

“Munharaunda yeungochani, hukama hwepabonde hwakavhurika uye hwakajairika; yaive nzira huru yekutaurirana. Mumasikati, munhu wese akaenda kundotsvaga zvekurara muBuena Vista Park, uye ndizvo zvaive zvinhu, nekuti munhu wese aivapo nekuda kwayo. Bonde risingazivikanwe rakashanduka kuita fetish. Mumakore iwayo, zvaive zvakaoma kuwana chimbuzi chevarume pasina gomba mumadziro ekabati. Paive nematumba akakosha mune zvepamabhaisikopo apo mushanyi akatsamira akatarisa mafirimu ezvinyadzo, uye panguva iyoyo mumwe munhu aipinda mubhotoro, akarara ne anal uye akamusiya, uye aisamboziva kuti ndiani. Yakanga yakakurumbira.
Paive nemabhawa apa vashanyi vaipfeka chete mombe dzemombe (makanda ematehwe aine girini yakavhurika), kureva kuti, ivo vaive vasina kupfeka. Mune mamwe mabara pakange paine mabhati ekurongedza, uye munhu aigona kukwira mavari, nepo vamwe vachimumbundira. Zvaive zvakajairika.
MuSan Francisco, pakanga paine mugero wechitima wakasiiwa, uko husiku hwakawanda murima rakazara vafambidzani vakawanikwa vachibata. Pavakauraya mumwe munhu ipapo, yaive munhau, uye iwe waizofungei? -Uwandu hwevashanyi hwakawedzera 4 nguva.
Ndakanga ndiine varwere vakatadza kurara nemurume mumwe chete kaviri. Ndakashanyirwawo nevarwere vaive vaneta nehukama hwepfupi. Hukama hwakawanda hweungochani hunopedza anenge mwedzi ye3. Wese munhu ari kubatikana kutsvaga "iye". Ndakaseka varwere, ndichivaudza kuti mukutsvaga kwavo vakasarudza kurara neguta rose, zvikasadaro pachava nechokwadi chekuti havana kupotsa "iyeye", uye kuseka, ivo vakati: "Asi wanzwisisa zvakanaka, doc" "(Cummings xnumx).

Muvambi wesangano revachechani muUSA, Harry Haye, akataura kuti vanhu vanoita zveungochani mudzimba dzeveruzhinji kana mapaki ndezve "kodzero dzevanhu" uye chero kuedza kumisa kutyorwa kweruzhinji rwevanhu "utsinye" uye "kudzvinyirira" (Jennings xnumx).

Vanorarama nehukombwe Kirk naMadsen, vachitaura nyaya dzechingochani mubhuku "After The Ball"Nyora zvinotevera:

"Zvichida maitiro akashata kwazvo ehunhu husingagamuchirike ndewevanhukadzi ... zvisinei nekuyedza kwezviremera kudzvinyirira chiitiko ichi, boka revanhu vanoita zvechingochani rinoenderera masikati nousiku kupinda mune imwe yenyonganiso dzakaipisisa (kazhinji pamberi pevanhu vakarurama) muzvimbuzi zvevoruzhinji, mumapaki uye munzira. maguta ese makuru muUnited States. Vanhu ava havaedze kuedza kuona kuvanzika kwebasa ravo, kunyangwe vakamirira kudzikama mukuyerera kwevashanyi. Nekudaro, kune vazhinji, mukana wekubatwa wakabatiswa ruoko-zvikamu zvitatu kubva muzana zvekunakidzwa. Vanoita bonyora muzvironda, vanodzungaira vasina kupfeka mukamuri, ndokudonha pane mumwe neumwe munzvimbo dzeacrobatic mumatumba akavhurika. Kana vachinge vadurura urume - pazvigaro zvechimbuzi, madziro kana pasi - vanozvisiya zvakaomeswa ipapo mumatope anosemesa uye anogona kuzivikanwa ... Zvinoita sezvisingadaviriki kuti varume ngochani vanogona kunge vasina hanya, asi vazhinji vacho vanodzorwa zvakanyanya nehumhu hwavo kupfuura huropi hwavo ... Zvinoshamisa, vamwe ngochani dzinogutsikana kuti dzine kodzero yekukwira kumatambiro akadaro muzvimbuzi zvevanhu uye mumapaki, sekunge kuti zvakagadzirirwa ivo senzvimbo yekutamba pabonde. Vamwe vanosvika pakutsamwira vashanyi avo, kana vangova muRoma, havadi kuzvibata sevaRoma ... Vepanhau regezane vanoshora chero zvataurwa kuti zvimiro zveruzhinji ipfungwa yakaipa, uye vanopomera kuedza kwemapurisa kupedza chiitiko ichi. se 'kushungurudzwa kune ngochani' ... " (Kirk uye Madsen 1990).

Mu1978, mutambi wekuAmerican, Larry Kramer, anozivikanwa nekwaanofarira ngochani, akanyora bhuku rakanzi "ngochani"¹, yakakonzera dutu rekutsamwa kwe LGBT + varatidziri - kufamba uye kunyange kudiwa kwekurambidza (Baim xnumx) Uye zvese nekuti iyo riini, sekureva kwakaita Kramer, yakaratidza chokwadi chaicho cheiyo subculture yeungochani. Iyi riini inoitika mumakirabhu akakosha uye saunas, inotongwa neunzenza hwepabonde, sadomasochistic orgies uye kushandiswa kwezvinodhaka. Pakuratidzwa kwebhuku rake, Kramer akati:

"... Chii chiri kutyisa chandakaita? Ndanyora chokwadi nekunyora. Chii chandakaita? "Ndakangoudza chokwadi chakashata kune wese wandinoziva ..." (Baim xnumx).

Zvadaro, mune imwe nyaya yakabudiswa mumagazini yeungochani "The Advocate," Kramer akanyora zvinotevera:

“AIDS pakati pevarume ngochani haisi kuenda chero kupi ... Iwe haugone kusarura zvisina tsarukano nevakaroorana vakawanda vanoita zvakafanana pasina kuparadzira chirwere icho chakauraya kwemakore mazhinji. Zvinhu zvakasikwa zvinogara zvichibhadharisa mutengo wehupombwe ... Tinofanira kugadzira tsika nyowani isina kunyanya kusarudzika uye yakanangana nekuzvibata kwedu nepenhengo dzedu nezvatinoita navo. " (Kramer 1997)

"Gay saunas"

Kunyangwe kuvandudzwa kwetekinoroji yeInternet, iyo inonzi. "Gay saunas", iripo nechinangwa chekusaruramisa vanhu vasingazivikanwe uye vakaita basa rakakura mukupararira kwehutachiona hwehutachiona, ramba uchikura mumaguta mazhinji. Kuongororwa kwe2003 kwegore kwakaratidza kuti inopfuura 30% yevanhurume vanoita ungochani vanopinda zvigadzirwa izvi neavhareji yevanoita zvepabonde nezvevanhu 27 pagore (Woods xnumx) Mune rima-rima reimwe ye "saunas" idzi, kwemakore matatu mushure mekuongorora hutachiona uye kusvika pakufa kwake, akaita zvepabonde zvisina kudzivirirwa 250 vanobatana pagore Gaetan Duga, iyo yakave imwe yezvinyorwa zvikuru zvekupararira kweHIV muUnited States. Ndozvinoita inotsanangura "Gay sauna" aimbove ngochani Joseph Schiambra, uyo akapindwa muropa nekumubvisa chikamu chetsvo uye akapotsa arasikirwa neupenyu.

“Marongero acho aive nenhevedzano yenzvimbo dzaisanzwisisika idzo dzakazosviba patinoenda pakadzika. Iyo yekushongedza yaisanganisira ese echirume clichés: yakabwinyiswa chrome, nhema vinyl pamakusheni uye anovaka muviri murali. Idzo nzvimbo dzaive kumberi dzaive dzakanyanya kutsanangurwa, kuseri kwadzo kwaive nedzimba dzaive dzisina chinhu dzakapendwa nhema. Kurambwa kwaivapo, asi kwaive kwakavanzika, uye munhu wese, kunyangwe saggy nevakuru, vaigona kuwana wekuroora naye. Sekufunga kwekupedzisira, kwaive nevarume vakahwanda mumakamuri ekumashure vaingoda muviri wechirume chete neropa raiyerera mutsinga dzake. Ndakasiya imba yekugezera ndikaenda kune yakakura chikamu chakatsaurirwa kune kettlebells uye akasiyana mabhenji ekudzidzira. Iyo pfuti yegrey yemadziro yakaita sechitoro chemuchina kana garaji. Ini ndaigona kungoita zvinyorwa zvisina kujeka zvakafanana nemafomu evanhu. Mberi ini ndaitotadza kugadzira bhenji rakavhenekerwa rakapenya zvishoma, iro, rakafanana nepasi, rakafukidzwa nerima zvinhu. Vakazembera pabhenji, varume vakati wandei vasina kupfeka vakapfugama. Ini ndaisakwanisa kuona misoro yavo kana kumeso, chete mabutiro avo akasimudzwa. Ndakamira ndisina kumira kwemasekonzi mashoma. Hezvinoi izvi. Ndasvika pamhedziso yezvido zvangu zvakadzama. "Kuguma chaiko kwemurume wese ngochani kupfugama, kutambanudza magaro ake, achitarisira kuti mumwe murume achaonekwa."Sciambra xnumx).

Shilts приводит 1982 Center yeChirwere cheDziviriro (CDC) 50 ongororo yeungochani yakawanikwa GRID (yaimbonzi AIDS). Zvakazoitika kuti avhareji nhamba yevanorara nevarume mune 1100, uye varwere vakati wandei vakashuma zviuru makumi maviri. Ivhareji nhamba yevadyidzana veboka revane chingochani vasina chirwere yaive 20. Shilts inotsanangura huipi hwakanyanya hwakatekeshera munharaunda yevanhurume nekushaikwa kwekudzora simba revakadzi uye kuwandisa kwakanyanya kwe testosterone:

"Hapana chinhu mune gay subculture iyo inogona mwero yehumwari hunhu hunhu, inoonekwa yakadhakwa seyese chero humhandara hwaisambofungidzira nezvayo. Kusazvibata kwakapararira, nekuti muccconomy inongova nevarume chete, hapana wekutaura kuti aiwa. Hapana munhu ane chero basa rekuenzanisa rakafanana neraiye remunhukadzi mune imwe yaanogara. Vamwe varume vanoita zvechipfambi vakabvuma kuti vanganakidzwa nepfungwa yekukurumidza, inowanika, kunyangwe bonde risingazivikanwe rinopihwa nevarume vanoita gay saunas kana vangangowana vakadzi vanoda kuzviita. Chokwadi, ngochani, tinowirirana. ” (Shilts 1987)

Mune iyi vhidhiyo pazasi, murwere weAIDS murwere angochani anoti aimbove ne 50 yekuita zvepabonde muusiku humwe

Heano kuzarurirwa Kirk naMadsen vanopa:

"Tikiti chete yehupenyu hweungochani kukwezva kunoonekwa, asi kunyangwe izvo hazvikununure kubva mukuora mwoyo ... Achisvika muguta, akaona kuti pane chinhu chimwe chete icho hupenyu hweungochani hwakaisa pfungwa pahwo: f * l ... Kana munhu achiri mudiki uye asina ruzivo, hukama hwakareruka hwe "vanilla" - kumbundirana uye kuhura bonyora - zvinomukwanira. Ichi chinhu chitsva, chakarambidzwa, chine tsvina, uye chinonakidza. Nekufamba kwenguva, vanilla bonde nemumwe mudiwa inova inogaroitika, yemazuva ese uye inofinha, uye inorasikirwa nekwaniso yayo yekumutsa. Pakutanga, ungochani hwakavharidzirwa hunotsvaga hutsva muvakomana, huchiita hunhu husina kujairika uye hupombwe. Pakupedzisira miviri yese inova inomufinha, uye anotanga kutsvaga kunakidzwa mune zvitsva maitiro. Anoedza kudzoreredza kunakidzwa kwe erectile kuburikidza nezvakasviba uye zvinorambidzwa zvebonde, senge fetishism, urolagnia, coprophilia, nezvimwe. (Kirk uye Madsen 1990).

Iwo mwero wehunhu hwehupombwe wakatsanangurwa pamusoro apa munharaunda ungochani hunoenderana nedata rekutsvaga.

Ongororo yakaitwa naBell nevamwe vake (1978) inoshuma kuti 70% yeungochani yakabvumirwa kuita zvepabonde nevanopfuura 50% yevavakaroorana navo kamwe chete, 43% yeungochani vanobvuma kune 500 kana vakawanda vavanoshanda navo muhupenyu hwavo hwese, 28% vanozivikanwa mu1000 kana kupfuura muhupenyu hwavo hwese, uye pakati pevanhu ava, 79% vanoti hafu yeavo vakaroorana aive asina kunyatsozivikanwa kwavari, uye 70% yeavaisangana navo pabonde yaive yehusiku humwe (Bell xnumx) Sekureva kwaPollack nevamwe vake, ungochani ungwanda hunochinja huwandu hwevakawanda gore rimwe nerimwe, uye mazana akati wandei muhupenyu hwavo hwese (Pollak mu Aries xnumx, mapeji 40 - 51).

Pakazosvika 1984, mushure mekupararira kwedenda reAIDS, vechingochani vakakurudzira nhengo dzayo kuti dzimise hupombwe, asi izvi hazvina simba rakasimba: pachinzvimbo che> 6 vadyidzani pamwedzi muna 1982, avhareji asiri murume mumwe chete anopindura muSan Francisco muna 1984 akaratidza kuti kutaurirana nevanosvika 4 vanobatirana pamwedzi (McKusick 1984²) Mumakore akatevera, CDC yakacherekedza kuwedzera kwehupombwe pakati pejaya vechidiki muSan Francisco: kubva ku1994 kuenda ku1997, huwandu hwevechingochani vakaita musangano nevakawanda uye vasina kudzivirirwa hunhu hwekuzvibata hunowedzera kubva ku23,6% kusvika 33,3%, nekuwedzera kwakanyanya pakati pejaya kusvika 25 makore (CDC 1999) Kunyangwe isingagone, chirwere cheAIDS hachirambidzi ungochani kuita unzenza (Hoover xnumx; Kelly 1992).

Muongororo yevanopfuura ngochani vakwegura ngochani, zvakaonekwa kuti paavhareji ivo vaivapo kubva ku2583 kuenda kuma100 vakaroorana mukati mehupenyu hwavo hwese, nepo 500% yaive nevazhinji vaidarika ne12 (Van de ven xnumx) Zvakare mune imwecheteyo kudzidza, zvakaonekwa kuti kune vanoita zveungochani, ivo mikana yekuve nehukomana hwepamusoro pe 50 panguva yemwedzi yapfuura ye6 yakawedzera zvakapetwa kanokwana ngochani dzisiri nhengo dzeiyo ungochani.Van de ven xnumx).

Ongororo yakaitwa nemagazini yeungochani Genre yakaratidza kuti 24% yevakabvunzwa vakati vaive nevanopfuura zana ezvebonde muhupenyu hwavo. Magazini yacho yakacherekedza kuti vakabvunzwa vakati wandei muongororo iyi chikamu che "vanopfuura chiuru vebonde" (Lambda Report 1998).

Mune imwe research, iyo yakagara anenge mwedzi mitanhatu, avhareji yevakaroorana vanoita zvevakomana nevarume vanoita zvechirwere chechirwere A chirwere ichi makumi mana nevaviri makumi manomwe nevaviri. avo vane tsika yokuita ungochani vakagara avhareji yemakore 6. (Corey 1980).

Idha inonakidza yakawanikwa mukudzidza kwakaitwa naBell uye pamwe nevamwe (1978) - vanyori, pakati pezvimwe zvinhu, vakaongorora kana vakapindura vaibata zvepabonde nemhuka. Pakati pevarume, 19,5% yeungochani uye 5,4% yevanhurume vanoita zveupombwe vakapindurwa mune yakasimbiswa; pakati pevakadzi vanoita zveungochani, 6,5% vakapindura kuti hungu, vakadzi vanoita zvevakadzi vakapindura zvisizvo (Bell xnumx, 1981) Paakabvunzwa nezve tsika yekushungurudza zvepabonde, 26% yevanhurume vanoita zvechingochani, 4,5% yevanhurume vanoita zvechani, 9,6% yevakadzi vanoita zveungochani uye 2,7 yevakadzi vanoita zvevakadzi vakapindirana mune vanobvumirana (Bell xnumx).

Mukuongororwa kwevakadzi vanoita zveungochani, 41% yakanga ine zvibvumirano zvepabonde zvakavhurika nemimwe mamiriro kana zvisungo, uye 10% yakanga yakavhura zvibvumirano zvepabonde pasina kurambidzwa. 22% yakataura kutyorwa kwemamiriro akabvumiranwa mumwedzi yapfuura ye12, uye 13% yemuenzaniso yakaratidza kusabvumirana kurara kwepamutemo mumwedzi mitatu yapfuura nemudiwa wekunze ane HIV isingazivikanwe kana kusava nechokwadi (Neilands 2010)

Kusazvibata pakati pevakadzi vanoita ungochani kushoma pane pakati pevanhurume, asi kuchiri chakakwirira kupfuura pakati pevakadzi vanoita zvechani. Zvinoshamisa kuti pane zvinoshamisa kucherechedzwa mune izvo zvinyorwa kuti pakati pevakadzi ngochani, iwo huwandu hwekusangana pabonde nevarume (!) Yakakwira kupfuura pakati pevakadzi nevarume. Vanotsvagurudza veAustralia vakataura kuti mukana wekuti murumekadzi angangoita mukadzi anodarika 50 panguva yeupenyu hwake nguva dze4,5 dzakakwira kudarika dzevakadzi vanoita zvechirikadzi (9% vs 2%); uye 93% yevakadzi ngochani vakarara nevarume (Mutengo 1996; Ferris xnumx).

Tsvagiridzo yakaratidza kuti yakasununguka tsika yekuita bonde, kazhinji inotanga pazera diki, inoenderana chaizvo neungochani. Vakadzi vasingadzorwe pabonde vane huwandu hwakawedzera hwevanobata navo, vazhinji vacho vanogona kuve vakadzi. Zvinoenderana neongororo ichangobva kuitwa, vakadzi vane vanhukadzi vakawanda vanoita zvevakomana kana vakadzi vane vamwe vakomana nevasikana vakasiyana (Kanazawa xnumx).

Kwemakumi maviri emakore apfuura, nharaunda yevanechani akatanga kuita zvepabonde. Magazini erotic, zvitoro zvevatano zvepabonde, uye makambani ezvehupombwe anotaridzirwa uye anochengetedzwa nevanobata vakadzi zvakapararira. Makirabhu eLebian anoshambadzira manheru e "Ini ndinoda Pussy" uye anodada nekurumbidza "chiitiko" muchimbuzi cubicles. Masangano eLesbian BDSM aripo mumaguta makuru mazhinji eUS, uye polyamory iri kuramba ichiwedzera.

Kubhejera

Ongororo dzinoverengeka dzakaunganidzwa kuti vamwe varume vanoita ungochani vanozvibata nekuzvidira uye nemaune kuzvitapurira nehutachiona hwehutachiwana kuburikidza nekusadzivirirwa pabonde nemunhu ane hutachiwana. MuChirungu, pachiitiko ichi, izwi rekuti "bugchaser" rinoshandiswa - "bug kuvhima" uye "anopa zvipo" - "donor". Kekutanga, nyaya dzekuzvipira kwehutachiona hwehutachiona dzakatanga kutaurwa mukati mekutapukirwa kweHIV, iri pakati pe80-s, pakabuda zvinyorwa zvesainzi pamusoro penyaya iyi (Frances 1985; Flavin 1986).

Kudzoka mu1999, mune imwe nyaya mumagazini yeSFGate muSan Francisco, zvakanzi izvo zvinonzi vanhurume vechingochani vari kukura mukuzivikanwa. Russian Roulette kana Bearbacking Bonde Game³- mapato; Ndokunge, kana mapoka evarume vechidiki akasangana kuita zveungochani, achitevera mitemo mitatu: hapana zvipfeko, vasina makondomu, uye pasina kutaura nezve hutachiwana hweHIV, kunyangwe kana mumwe wevatori vechikamu aine hutachiona hweHIV.Russel 1999).

Rondedzero inonyatsojekesesa ye "kubhomba-kudzingirira" yakaonekwa nguva pfupi yadarika - mu2003, apo mutori wenhau Gregory Freeman akaburitsa chinyorwa "Mukutsvaga Rufu" mumagazini "Rolling Stone", maakataura kuti chiumbwa chitsva chakaonekwa pakati pevanhurume. ngochani dzinoda kugashira hutachiona hweHIV, vamwe vachikuda kuzvitapura nemafaro (Freeman xnumx, yakabviswa kubva kuRolling Stone webhusaiti).

"... Kuziva hutachiona hweHIV kwavari kupidigura chikobvu chakanyanya, chiito chakanyanya pabonde chinokwezva vamwe vanoita zveungochani vakagadzirira kuedza zvese. Vamwe vanonzwa vakarasika muboka rinogara nehutachiona kubva kunharaunda yeungochani. Varidzi vezvikwereti vanoda kuve chikamu che "kirabhu" iyi. Vamwe vanoti kurongedza mabhegi kunozarura musuwo wekurara nirvana. Uye vamwe vanhu havagone kufunga kuti havasi kuratidzika semudiwa wavo ane hutachiona hweHIV ... "(Freeman xnumx).

Kunyangwe chinyorwa chaFreeman chakamutsa kushoropodza kubva kune vanobatana neLMBT, kufamba kwevanyori venyaya vakapomera Freeman nezvekuwedzeredza kukura kwedambudziko kana kunyengera ruzivo, ufakazi hwesainzi hunoratidza maitiro akafanana pakati peungochani. Vanotsvaga Gossier uye Forsyth mu1999 kwenguva yekutanga yakatsanangurwa mubasa ravo resaenzi kudiwa kwehutachiwana hwehutachiwana hwehutachiwana pakati pevashandi vanoita unzenza uye zvepabonde zvisina kudzivirirwa zveungochani (Gauthier xnumx) Mu2003, Dr. Richard Tewkesbury akatsanangura, wekutanga munharaunda yesainzi, kuti ngochani vanoita tsika yekuisa mabhegi paInternet nedzimwe nzvimbo dzekupfimbana (Tewksbury 2003; 2006) Mu2004, kuwanda kwemafambiro akadaro pakati pechingochani kwakatsanangurwa naCrossley (Crossley xnumx) Zvidzidzo zvakakura zvekushandiswa kweInternet pakati pevengochani "vanogadzira mabhegi" zvakaitiswa nevaongorori veGrove nevamwe vavo (Grov 2006a; 2006b; 2004) Mu2007, masayendisiti ekuAmerica Moskowitz naRoloff vakacherekedza zvikonzero zvakati nei nei ngochani dzichida kutapukirwa nehutachiona hweHIV: chimwe chezvikonzero chishuwo kupinda mune "hukama hwevanyori" hwakakosha, hwakabatana kupfuura boka rakaparadzaniswa nevarume vanoita zveungochani (Moskowitz 2007a) Chimwe chikonzero kusada kuzvidzivirira uye chishuwo chekuita zvepabonde wakasununguka usingatyi kubatwa nehutachiona. Boka rechitatu rinosanganisira vanhu vanoramba AIDS zvakadaro uye vanoramba "AIDS hutsinye" sedzidziso yekunyepedzera. Moskowitz naRoloff vakafananidza kurongedza bhegi nekusimba kwakasimba pabonde: mumaonero avo, varume vanoda kuwana hutachiona vanowanzove nehupenyu husinga tsananguriki hwepabonde, vachipinda mune zvepabonde kazhinji nevanhu vasina hutachiwana uye avo vane chirwere cheHIV chisingazivikanwe.Moskowitz 2007a) Hunhu hwepfungwa hweungochani vanoita "kubhejera" uye zvikonzero zveiyi maitiro zvinotsanangurwa zvakare mune mamwe mabasa (Moskowitz 2007b; LeBlanc 2007; Hatfield 2004; Blechner xnumx) Heano maitiro inotsanangura wavo Joseph Shyambra:

“Pakazosvika nguva iyoyo ndakanga ndorwara kazhinji zvekuti ndainyatsoziva kuti ndakatapukirwa. Ipapo ini ndakapinda muboka revasina kutya, ndichifungidzira vasina "hutachiona" uye avo vakatotapukirwa nehutachiona. Mumapoka aya, kunyepedzera kwekuita zvepabonde kwakachengeteka kwaive kusisipo zvachose, kana mamiriro ekunze akange achiwedzerwa uye achipisa kwazvo kuti mumwe munhu amire uye avhure pasuru yacho nekondomu. Vateveri vanonyanya kudakadza ndevaya vaishuvira kubata chirwere chetachiona kubva kumupi ane hutachiwona hweHIV. Iko kusakwana zvachose kwepamuviri kuburikidza nevebonde-kurara pabonde kwakasiya pfungwa isingazive yekushaya hupenyu mune vese avo vanobatanidzwa. Kudzoserwa kwacho kwaisanganisira kuunza chinhu chakabayirwa mumurume, chaigona kukunda membrane yesero rega rega, kuchinja anogamuchira zvachose ” (Sciambra xnumx).

Kugadzikana uye kusasarudzika kwekudyidzana

Ngochani, kunyangwe kuve nehukama kwenguva refu nemumwe, havanyanyi kutendeka kune umwe neumwe. Kune mhuri dzechinyakare, ongororo yenyika inomiririra yakaburitswa muJenali yeBonde Research yakawana kuti 77% yevakaroora uye 88% yevakadzi vakaroorwa ndeyechokwadi kumhiko dzewanano (Wiederman xnumx) Mune kumwe kuongorora kwenyika, kwakawanikwa kuti 75% yevarume uye 85% yevakadzi havana kumboita zvepabonde kunze kwemuchato (Laumann xnumx) Ongororo yefoni ye1049 yavakabvunzwa nevanhu vakuru yeParade Magazine yakaratidza: 81% yevarume vakaroora uye 85% yevakadzi vakaroorwa vakataura kuti havana kuputsa mhiko dzewanano yavo (PR Newswire 1994). Maererano nekuongorora kwe 1995 datha, 83% yevarume uye 95% yevakadzi vakashuma monogamy (Paik 2010) Nekudaro, hukama hwechinyakare, hunosanganisira kuchata - kubatana kwemurume nemukadzi - kwakanyanya kusangana pabonde, kureva kuti kurara nemunhu kunze kwemuchato hazvibvumirwe.

Kana zviri zveungochani, kusanganisira izvo zvakanyoreswa zviri pamutemo, kubatana kwakadaro kwakanyanya kusangana pabonde-hakuna-paavhareji, mumwe nemumwe anogarisana maviri pagore (Rosenberg 2011) Chidzidzo cheMcWhirter (1985) chakaona kuti kwenguva refu ye1 kusvika 5, chete 4,5% yeungochani dzinotaura monogamy, uye kwenguva yakareba kupfuura 5, hapana. Vanyori vakagumisa kuti:

“Tarisiro yekuita bonde rekunze ndiwo mutemo kune vakaroorana vechirume uye kunze kwevanhurume nevanhukadzi. Heterosexual vakaroorana vanogara netariro yekuti hukama hwavo huchagara "kusvikira rufu rwavaparadzanisa", nepo vanhukadzi-bonde vakaroora vachizvibvunza kana hukama hwavo huchizopona ... Chinhu chimwe chete chakakosha kuchengeta vaviri pamwechete mushure memakore gumi kushomeka kwekugara. kushamwari ". (McWhirter 1985, p.3, p.256).

Harry (1984) inoshuma kuti 66% yevanhurume vanoita zveungochani vanobvuma kuita zvepabonde padivi pagore rekutanga kushamwaridzana, uye kana vakagara makore anopfuura mashanu, huwandu hwevanhu vakabvumirwa hunowedzera kusvika 90%.

Sarantakos (1998d) yakawana kuti chete 10% yevakaroora vechirume uye 17% yevakadzi vakaroora vaive nechinangwa monogamous. Izvi zvisati zvaitika, airatidza kuti chete 19% yevakaroora kana kuroorwa havana kuparadzaniswa mumakore apfuura 5 makore, nepo 66% yevanhurume uye 63% yevakadzi vevakaroorana vakaputsa vatatu kana vakawanda vavatendi (Sarantakos 1996c).

Chidzidzo muNetherlands chakawana kuti hukama hweungochani hunogara pakati pegore nehafu. Panguva imwecheteyo, ngochani dzisina kana hukama hwakareba vane vanenge 22 vakasarudzana vanoita zvepabonde pagore, uye nevaya vari muhukama hwakareba.⁴, - "chete" 8 "vanoda" pagore (Lampinen 2003; Xiridou 2003) Ongororo yakaitwa mu2006 nevatsvagiri vekuUniversity yeCalifornia pakati pevanochingochani nevarume vanoita zvehuchani vakaona kuti vanopfuura hafu yevanhurume vanoita zveungochani (51%) vaive vasiri muhukama zvachose. Pakati pevarume vanoita zvepabonde, uyu Mugove waive 15% (Strohm 2006) Mune imwe ongororo yeCanada yevano ngochani vakawirirana nehukama kweinenge 1, zvakaonekwa kuti 25% chete haina hukama hwekunze. Sekureva kwemunyori wekudzidza:

“… Tsika yeungochani inobvumidza varume kuti vaedze zvakasiyana… zvimiro zvehukama, kwete kungoita murume nemukadzi…” (Lee 2003).

Maererano ne research Makore e2013, anenge 70% yehutachiona hwehutachiona pakati pevakomana nevarume vanoita zvevakomana nevarume nevarume vanoita zveupombwe kunoitika kuburikidza neanogara achifambidzana naye, nekuti huwandu hwakawanda hwehupombwe hunoitika pasina kushandisa kondomu (Brady 2013). Muchato wekurapa Dr. Hayton yakarondedzera mafungiro evazhinji ngochani kuroora:

"... Ngochani dzinogutsikana uye dzinoisa muenzaniso kuti hukama hwewanano ndohwechinguva uye kazhinji hunhu hwepabonde ... Munharaunda yeungochani, pfungwa yakapararira ndeyekuti murume mumwe chete muwanano haisi tsika uye haifanire kukurudzirwa muhukama hwakanaka" hwewanano "..." ( Hayton 1993).

Muongororo ye2005, zvakaratidzwa kuti "40,3% yevarume ngochani avo vari nhengo dze" vanobatana "uye 49,3% yeavo vanga vasiri mumubatanidzwa wakakurukurwa vakabvumirana kubvumidza kunze kwehukama. Kuenzanisa, pakati pemhuri dzechivanhu chiratidzo ichi chakaenzana ne3,5% ”(Solomon 2005).

Muongorori wePollak akawana kuti "humwe chete hukama hweungochani hunogara kwemakore anopfuura maviri, mazhinji acho anoratidza kuti vaive nevanopfuura vebonde ve100" (Pollak mu Aries xnumx).

Whitehead (2017) yakaita ongororo yekufananidza iyo nguva yehukama pakati pevakaroora kana murume nemukadzi uye pakati pehukama hwehukama hwevanhukadzi nevarume vaviri zvichibva pazvidzidzo zvezvidzidzo zvikuru zvakaburitswa muUnited States neBritain (Whitehead 2017) Avhareji nguva⁵ kushamwaridzana kwehukama hwehukama kwaive makore e3,5, uye huwandu hwehukama hwehukama mumhuri dzehukadzi hwaive makore 27; nokudaro, nguva yehukama muhukama hwehukama hwehukama yakanyoreswa zvakapetwa kanomwe kupfuura hupfumi hwemhuri.Whitehead 2017).

Kunzwira tsitsi kune ungochani kufamba, munyori anotsanangura hukama pakati pechingochani sezvinotevera:

"... munyika yevanhurume ngochani, hunhu hwechokwadi chete hwehunhu kukwezva kwemuviri ... Mukomana mudiki ngochani anozoona kuti anongofarira vanhurume vake sechinhu chepabonde. Kunyangwe vachikwanisa kumukoka kuzodya uye nekumupa pekugara, kana vagutsa kuda kwavo pabonde maari, vangango kanganwa nezve kuvapo kwake uye nezvido zvake. " (Hoffman xnumx)

Mu2015, Dare Repamusoro-soro reU.S. rakanyoresa mvumo yengochani, richiti nyika dzese dzipe zvitupa zvevakaroora kana vakadzi, uye kuti vazive zvitupa zvakapihwa mune mamwe matunhu. Nekudaro, zvinoenderana nedatha reAmerican Gallup Institute of Public Opinion, ngochani hadzichamhanye kushandisa kodzero dzadzo dzichangobva kuwanikwa. Kana kusati kwaitwa kwepamutemo kwevakaroora, "7.9% yevakadzi vanoita zveungochani" vakaroora "(vachipedzisa navo pazvakabvumidzwa), mushure mekunyorwa kwemutemo chete 2.3% vakasarudza kuisa hukama hwavo. Kwapera gore mushure mekutongwa kwedare repamusoro, 9.5% chete yevanhurume vekuAmerica vanoita "vakadzi", "vazhinji vacho pazera re50 + (Jones 2017) Mufananidzo wakafanana unocherechedzwa muNetherlands, uko kuroorana kwevanoita zvepabonde kwakanyoreswa zviri pamutemo kubvira 2001: chete 12% yeungochani "vakaroora", vachienzaniswa ne86% yevavo vanoita zvepabonde.

Joseph Ciambra ataurwa pamusoro anotsanangura Izvi zvinodaro nekuti varume vanoita zvechingochani havadi kudzikisira zvishuwo zvavo zvepabonde nehukama nemudiwa mumwe:

"Pasi pekukosha kwemaitiro evarume, vakasunungurwa kubva pakurambwa kwevakadzi nevasikana, varume vanoita zveungochani vanowanzoita hukama hwakawanda uye kusagadzikana. nhamba yakaderera kuroora-kwakafanana kuroora kana kuroorwa (9,6%), iyo mushure mekutonga kwaObergefell yakawedzera chete ne1,7%, pamwe kuchengetedza hutachiona hweHIV pakati pevarume mune hunofungidzirwa hukama hwakasimba. Hukama pakati pechingochani varume kazhinji havasi monogamous, asi kutaurirana hukama pachena. Zvisinei, chitarisiko chakagadzirwa chakafanana neungochani uye ungochani. ” (Sciambra xnumx). 

Kusiyana neungochani, "vakaroora", "vanhurume" uye "kuvimbika" kune varume vanoita zveungochani havawanzo kureva mumwe. Saka mubhuku remabhuku Iyo Handbook yeMhuri Yakasiyana (1999) chidzidzo chakaunzwa umo vazhinji vakaroora vanozviona sevane "monogamous" vakashuma kuti pagore rapfuura vaive neavhareji yeva3 - 5.

Mutori venhau weBritish Milo Yannopoulos anotsanangura kukosha kwehukama hwehukama seinotevera:

“Ndinogara ndine shamwari yangu huru inondipa mari. Kazhinji chiremba, mubhengi kana chimwe chakadai. Uye zvakare ndine shamwari dzinoverengeka dzebonde - varairidzi vega, vatambi. Ndinovakoka, uye mukomana mukuru iyeye anondikoka ... Chokwadi ndechekuti, tine mikana yausina iwe. Tine chiremera chakakosha chinotisunungura kubva pane zvese tsika. Ndosaka kuroora ngochani kuchiseka kwazvo. Mwari wangu, ani nani anoda kuva nemunhu mumwe zvinotyisa ”(Yiannopoulos 2016).

Sezvo maitiro anoratidza, zvinopesana nehurombo nezvekuroora-humhandara, huwandu hwengochani haudi ivo zvachose. Iyi gakava ingatsanangurwa sei? Kutanga, hukama hwakafanana-hwebonde hauna kugadzikana mune zvakasikwa. Kana vari muhukama hwepanyama, murume nemukadzi vanobatsirana nehukama hwavo hwepanyama uye hwepfungwa, ipapo muhukama humwe chete pabonde hapana kuwirirana kwekuwirirana, ndosaka vari ngochani vanoona kutsungirira kusagutsikana, kunoratidzwa nekutsvaga kusingaperi. Seizvo chiremba wepfungwa Edmund Bergler akataura:

"Hukama hwakaipisisa hwepfambi ndehwechisingaenzaniswe nehukadzi".Bergler 1956, peji. 17).

Saka mukana wekuroora mukadzi kana murume kana murume kana murume kana murume iyewo haushandure chokwadi chekuti hukama hwakadaro haushande.

Tsananguro yechisimba yekushomeka kwe monogamy pakati pevanhurume varume inopihwa neyaimbove ngochani William Aaron. Zvinokosha kuziva kuti anoshandisa izwi rekuti "Homophile", rakakurumbira muma60's asi akanganwa izvozvi (senge mhuka, pedophile, nezvimwewo):

“Muhupenyu hweungochani, kuvimbika kunenge kusingabviri. Sezvo chikamu chekumanikidzwa kweungochani chichiita kunge chinodikanwa chemurume nemurume kuita "kupinza" hunhu hwevakomana vake, iye anofanira kugara achitsvaga [vatsva]. Naizvozvo, "michato" yakabudirira kwazvo yevanhurume ndevaya mune chibvumirano pakati pevakaroorana kuti vave nechidimbu parutivi, kuchengetedza kutaridzika kwekusagadzikana muhurongwa hwehupenyu hwavo ... Hupenyu hweungochani hwakajairika uye hunoshanda zvakanyanya kana kusangana pabonde kusiri kwevamwe uye kunyange kusazivikanwa. Seboka, ngochani dzandaiziva dzinoita sedzakanyanya kubatikana nebonde pane vanoita bonde ... ”(William Aaron 1972, p.208)

Bergler, achitsanangura mufananidzo wepfungwa wekuita ungochani, anotizve chisarudzo chebonde chisingazivikanwe uye kusagutsikana kunoramba kuchitungamira kutsvaga kwekuenderera mberi:

“Chaiye ungochani anogara akatarisa. "Kufamba-famba" kwake (izwi rechingochani rekutsvaga kwemaminetsi maviri kana zvakanakisa wepfupi-mudiwa) rakanyanya kupfuura iro reanhurume nemurume ane hunyanzvi uyo ane hunyanzvi muhusiku humwechete. Sekureva kweungochani, izvi zvinoratidza kuti vanoshuva zvakasiyana uye vane chishuwo chekugutsa bonde. Muchokwadi, izvi zvinongoratidzira chete kuti ungochani kudya kwakashata uye kusingagutse kwepabonde. Izvo zvakare zvinoratidza kuvepo kweyekugara mesochistic chishuwo chenjodzi: nguva dzese pavanenge vachifamba rwendo, chingochani chiri panjodzi yekurohwa, kuyedza kubiridzira kana zvirwere zvepabonde ... Vazhinji ngochani vanobatana vanoitirana muzvimbuzi, mumapaki asina kujeka uye mumabhati eTurkey, uko chinhu chebonde chisingaonekwe. Nzira dzakadaro dzisiri dzekuti munhu asvike paku "sangana" dzinoita kuti kushanyira imba yevakadzi inopfimbana ive sechiitiko chemoyo. " (Bergler 1956, p. 16)

Heano marondedzero Kirk naMadsen adudzwa pamusoro apa kurondedzera hunhu hweungochani:

"Ngochani havana kunaka kuwana uye kuchengeta vatambi. Ukama pakati pavo hauwanzogara kwenguva refu, kunyangwe vazhinji vachitsvaga nemoyo wose kuwana mweya wekuroora. Mune mamwe mazwi, munhu wese anotarisa, asi hapana ari. Nzira yekutsanangura iyi paradox? Chekutanga, izvi zvinokonzerwa nehunhu hwemurume physology uye psychology, izvo zvinoita kuti kurara kwemurume nemurume uye zvepabonde nemurume kuve kusisimba pachimiro pane hukama hwemurume nemukadzi. Paavhareji, mukadzi anofamba pabonde haana kudzika zvakanyanya kupfuura murume, uye anomutswa nemafungiro ekuona. Mukadzi anogamuchira bonde zvakanyanya pamanzwiro ake pane pane zvaanoona. Varume, kune rumwe rutivi, havasi chete vanonyanya kuita zvepabonde (kazhinji nguva dzose), asiwo nekukurumidza uye nekunakidzwa kwakanyanya nekungoona kwemunhu "akanaka" mumwe.

Chechipiri, kumuka kwevatano kunonyanya kuvimba ne "chakavanzika", ndiko kuti, iyo degree rekusazivikanwa pakati pevakaroorana Zviripachena kuti mumuviri nepamoyo, varume vakafanana pane vakadzi, uye nekudaro zvisingazivikanwe ipapo. Izvi, sekutonga, zvinotungamira ngochani kuti vakurumidze kushanda kubva kune vavanosangana navo. Sezvineiwo, izvi zvinotonyanya kuva zvechokwadi kune vanoita zvebonde, avo vanofarira kukurumidza, asi sezvo zvido zvavo zvebonde zvisingaite, vanogutswa zviri nyore nehukama hwepamoyo.

Chinhu choga chinosarudzirwa nevechingochani vazhinji vanosarudza hukama hwavo kukwezva zvepabonde. Kugara kwehukama nevanhu vavusingazive uye vanhu vasina hanya navo kunozobva kwasimba pane zvakajairika uye kusada kutonga nemaitiro akakosha. Chitendero chemurume ngochani chinogona kutaurwa seichi: "Karl, kunyangwe chidhori, asi ane mudhara hombe, pamwe ndichaenda naye kumba."

Emotional kusagadzikana, kutya kwekusungirwa uye pfungwa yakasimba yekuremerwa kunotungamira ungochani hwakawanda mukuzvibata kwakakura. Vachivimba nemwoyo yavo kusava nebasa kwavo, ivo vanodzora manzwiro aya akashata nekugara vachisimbisa kuti vanodiwa pabonde, vachiita unzenza uye vausingazive. Uye nyangwe anenge ari ngochani chero akataura kuti angade kuwana rudo rwechokwadi, zvaari kuda zvakanyanyisa uye hazvifungidzike zvekuti anozvisiya haatombowana mukana wekusangana nemunhu akadaro. Semuenzaniso, haafanire kumwa, kuputa, kufarira zvemhizha, mahombekombe, guacamole, kutaridzika uye kuzvibata semurume akatwasuka, pfeka zvakanaka; vane kuseka, "kurudyi" magariro; haafanire kuve nevhudzi rakawanda pamuviri; inofanira kuve yakagwinya, yakaveurwa mushe, yakatemwa. . . tsime, iwe unowana pfungwa.

Nei ngochani vachizviisa pachinzvimbo chakadai? Chekutanga, nekuti ivo vanofarira kurarama mune fungidziro pane kubata nezvinoitika. Kechipiri, zvinovapa chikonzero chakanakira nei vasina munhu, uye kuti bonde uye risinei nevanhu ndizvo chaizvo zvekutsvaga izvo.

"Kusada" kuve nehukama hwega hwevanhu zvinowanzovhara banal kutadza kuva navo. Vanhu vane dambudziko iri vanoenda kunonyanyisa kutsanangura zvakaringana kugona kwavo, kusvika pakunyora mabhuku anoruramisa mararamiro avo se “shanduko yezvematongerwo enyika” uye “kuita kwevanogadzira vagari vanoita zvepabonde mumigwagwa yemitambo”.

Kana, nekuda kwemurume ari nani, murume ngochani akabvuma munhuwo zvake, kurwira rudo hakupere ipapo - kunongotanga. Wepakati Joni Gay achakuudza kuti arikutsvaga "kusasangana-mushe" hukama mukati mudiwa "haabatanidzwe zvakanyanya, haaite zvekumanikidza, uye anomupa mukana wakakwana wega." Muchokwadi, hapana nzvimbo ichave yakakwana, nekuti Joni haisi kutsvaga mudiwa, asi yeane fucking shamwari - iyo buddy yeku fucking, mhando yekuzvidza kwemidziyo yemidziyo. Kana kusangana kwepamoyo kuchatanga kuoneka muhukama (iyo, murondedzero, ichifanira kuva chikonzero chakanyanya kunaka kwavari), vanorega kuva vakagadzikana, vo "kunetseka" vobva vapunzika. Zvakangodaro, havazi vese ngochani vari kutsvaga "hukama" hwakaoma kudaro. Vamwe vanoda romance yechokwadi mutual, uye vanotoiwana. Chii chinoitika ipapo? Munguva pfupi inotevera, iyo ziso rine ziso rinosimudza musoro waro wakashata.

Ikoko hakuna kumbove netsika yekuvimbika munharaunda yegayani. Kunyangwe anga achifara sei ngochani nemudiwa wake, angangopedzisira atsvaga x **. Chiyero chekusatendeseka pakati pe "vakaroora" ngochani, nekufamba kwenguva, inosvika zana muzana. Varume, sezvatotaurwa, vane hunhu kupfuura vakadzi, vane simba rekudzikamisa, uye kumeso kwakanaka muchitima chepasi pevhu kana musupamaketi vanogona kutenderedza misoro yavo. Maviri ngochani idambudziko rakapetwa, iro arithmetically squares mukana weunouraya nyaya. Vazhinji ngochani vakaroorana, vachikotamira izvo zvisingadzivisike, vanobvuma "kuvhura hukama." Dzimwe nguva zvinoshanda: mushure mekusiya mweya, mudiwa asina zororo anodzokera kune mumwe wake akakosha kwaari kupfuura vamwe. Asi izvi hazviwanzo kushanda. Dzimwe nguva hukama hwakavhurika hunokodzera mumwe mudiwa pane mumwe, uyo anozopedzisira abvuma kuti havagone kuimira voenda. Dzimwe nguva uku kungori kubvuma kwechinyararire kuti hukama hausisiri hwakavakirwa parudo, asi pane bonde uye nyore kwemazuva ese. Iyo yekupedzisira inogona kuve inosemesa zvakanyanya: vadikani, kana panzvimbo pekuti vagare pamwe chete, vanoshanduka kuva vanobatsirana, vachibatsirana kuwana shamwari dzepabonde kwevatatu "... (Kirk uye Madsen 1990).

Zvinoenderana nemufananidzo wekiriniki waDr. Nicolosi, vaviri vehukama nehukama vanowanzowana kudzivirirwa kubva pabonde ravo kubva paudiki uye kudikanwa kwekuritsiva. Naizvozvo, hukama hwavo hunowanzo tora chimiro chekusanzwisisika kwemamwe murume semuenzaniso wechirume introject. Mukutsvaga kushamwaridzana nevamwe varume uye kuita kwavo zvepabonde, ngochani iri kuedza kuyananisa chikamu chakarasika chehunhu hwake. Mukutsvaka mumwe murume kuti aite nekuda kwekushaiwa kwake hunhu hwechirume, ngochani angave anozvinyudza achitsamira mumwe kana kuti anogumbuka nekuwana mukati make kushomeka chaiko kwehurume sewake.

Aodzwa mwoyo, anoenda kunotsvaga mumwe, anogutsa mumwe wake. Sezvo kukwezva kwake kunobva mukushomeka, haakwanise kuda akasununguka: hunhu hwake hwekupokana kune murume kana mukadzi nekudzivirira hunokanganisa kugadzwa kwekuvimbana uye kushamwaridzana. Iye anongoona vamwe varume chete maererano neizvo zvavangaite kuti vagadzire kushomeka kwake. Nenzira idzi ivo vanotora, kwete kupa.

Murume akashungurudzika anogona kunzwa kurongeka kwenguva pfupi nerubatsiro rwebonde risingazivikanwe - nekuda kweanomutsa, kuomarara uye kunyangwe njodzi, nekuzotevera kurara kwepabonde uye kuderera kwekukurumidza kunetseka. Asi izvi zvinongova nhau zvenguva, kudzamara aora mwoyo, uye otendeuka zvakare kusazivikanwa pabonde semhinduro pfupi yekusagadzikana kwake kwemweya. Kazhinji kacho ngochani anotaridza kutsvaga munhu wausina kujairana naye mushure mechiitiko chaainzwa kuregeredzwa kana kugumburwa nemumwe murume.

Kubatana Mhirizhonga

Maererano ne LGBT yehutano hwehutano kubvumirwa, "Vechidiki vanoita zvepabonde vanogona kusangana nematambudziko akanyanya emuviri nepfungwa, sekushungurudzwa mudzimba nekushungurudzwa ..." (Makadon 2008) Lesbians kazhinji vanogona kupfuura varume ngochani kuve vanobatwa uye vanotanga mhirizhonga (Waldner-Haugrud 1997²).

Chidzidzo che APA chakawana kuti 47,5% yevanoshoreka vakambosangana nekushungurudzwa mumuviri kubva kune mumwe wako. Pakati pechingochani, mhirizhonga yemurume yakataurwa ne38.8% (Balsamu xnumx) CDC yakaratidza yakafanana data - 40,4% yevanobata vakadzi vanoshungurudzwa nemuviri; mu 29,4%, mhirizhonga yaive yakakura: kurova, moxibustion kana kana kurova chimwe chinhu chakaoma (Walters xnumx).

Mumuenzaniso wevakarohwa nevarume vanoita zveungochani, 73% yevakaitirwa mhirizhonga yebonde nemumwe wavo (Merrill 2000) Welles nevamwe vake vakaona kuti 49% yevakadzi vatema muhukama humwe-nehukadzi vaishungurudzwa mumuviri uye 37% vakashungurudzwa pabonde (Welles xnumx).

Iyo "LGBT Mhuri Yekutsvagisa Mhuri" yakashuma kuti 70,2% yevanoshoreka vakasangana nekushungurudzwa kwepfungwa kupfuura gore rapfuura (Matte & Lafontaine 2011) Kumwe kuongorora kwakaratidza kuti 69% yevakadzi vanobatanidzwa muhukama humwe chete nehukama vanotaura kutsutsumwa kwemashoko, nepo 77,5% ichitaura inodzora maitiro pane chikamu chemudiwa. Kune varume vanoita zveungochani, idzi data yaive 55,6% uye 69,6%, zvichiteerana (Messinger 2011). Maererano neongororo yeCDC, paavhareji 63,5% yevanoshoreka vakasangana nehukasha hwepfungwa kubva kune mumwe wavo, kazhinji achiratidzwa akazviparadzanisa nemhuri neshamwari, kunyadziswa, kutukwa uye kuvimbiswa kuti hapana mumwe munhu anovada (Walters xnumx).

Nhema pamwe nevamwe vanocherekedza kuti kushungurudzika muhukama nevanhurume kazhinji kunowirirana. Mumuenzaniso wavo, 23,1% yevakabhejera vakashuma kumanikidza kubva kune mumwe wavo iye zvino, uye 9,4% kubva kune wavakamboroorana naye. Uye zvakare, 55.1% yakashuma kutsutsumwa uye kushungurudzika kwepamoyo (Nhema et al. Xnumx) Chimwe chidzidzo chakawana kuti zvichienzaniswa ne17,8% yevakadzi vanoita zvechisikana, 30,6% yevanobata vakadzi vanoita zvepabonde nekuda kwavo (Duncan 1990), asi zvinoenderana Waldner-Haugrud (1997¹) 50% yevanodzvinyirira vakasangana kupomedzerwa newavakaroerana navo, iyo ingori 5% yakaderera pane varume vanoita ngochani.

Chinyorwa che1994 chegore mune Iyo Journal of Interpersonal Mhirizhonga yakatarisana nenyaya dzemhirizhonga nemhirizhonga mukushamwaridzana kwevakadzi.Lockhart 1994) Vatsvagiri vakawana kuti 31% yevakabvunzwa vakati vakasangana nechero chiitiko chimwe chekushungurudzwa mumuviri nemumwe wavo. Sekureva kwaNichols (2000), 54% yevakadzi vanoita zveungochani vanonzi vakasangana ne10 kana zvimwe zviitiko zvechisimba nevarume, 74% yakaratidza 6 - 10 episode (Nichols xnumx).

Ongororo yeNational Violence against Women Survey yakaratidza kuti "kurara kwevanhukadzi kumwechete kune huwandu hwechisimba kupfuura hwekudyidzana kwevanhukadzi." 39% yeavo cohabitants vakashuma kushungurudzwa kwepanyama uye kwepamoyo nemumwe wavo achienzaniswa ne21,7% yevakabvunzwa kubva kuhuchani. Pakati pevarume, nhamba idzi, dzakateerana, 23,1% uye 7,4% ”(CDC 2000).

Mubasa ravo, Varume Vanorova Varume Vanovada, Island naLetelfer vakafungidzira kuti "mhirizhonga yemhirizhonga mudzimba mukubatana kwevanhurume nevanhukadzi ingangoita zvakapetwa kanomwe muhuwandu hwevanhukadzi".Island xnumx).

Maererano nekudzidza kwakabudiswa neHurumende yeCanada mu2006:

"... mhirizhonga yevakaroora yakaitika zvakapetwa kaviri pakati pevane ngochani kana zvichienzaniswa nevakaroora kana vakadzi: 15% uye 7%, zvichiteerana" (Statistics Canada - Catalog hapana. 85-570, p.39).

Ruzivo rwekuwedzera

Rumwe ruzivo neruzivo zvinogona kuwanikwa mune zvinotevera zvinyorwa:

1. Dailey tj Kufananidza Mararamiro eVarume Vakaroora Vakaroora. Mhuri Yekutsvaga Mhuri. 2004.
2. Cameron P. Mhirizhonga mudzimba pakati pevakaroorana. Psychol Rep. 2003 Oct; 93 (2): 410-6. DOI: 10.2466 / pr0.2003.93.2.410
3. Reisman J. Reisman & Johnson Mushumo. Inoshandiswa kune "Ungochani Kuroora" Uye "Ruvengo Mhosva". Rokutanga Progress Report. A Working draft 2008. First Principles Press. map. 8 – 11.

Notes

1 Chirungu: "Fagots"
2 Mu1982, vakapindura vakaratidza kuti vaive neavhareji yeva4,7 vakaroorana vatsva mumwedzi wapfuura; 1984 - 2,5 vakaroorana vatsva yenguva imwe chete.
3 eng.: "Kubhururuka" - kutasva bhiza. Izvi zvinoreva genital-anal kupinza ("anal" bonde) isina kondomu.
4 rarama ne "wakanyoreswa shamwari nguva dzose"
5 nguva kubva kunyoresa kuenda kubvumirano yekubatana kweungochani kana "kuroora"