Kocharyan Garnik Surenovich, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Professor of the Department of Sexology, Medical Psychology, Medical and Psychological Rehabilitation na Kharkov Medical Academy. gabatar da littafin "Abin Kunya da Rashin Haɗawa. Aikace-aikacen maganin rama a aikace ”. Marubucin na ɗaya daga cikin mashahuran mashahurai kuma sanannu a duniya a fagen maganin ramuwar gayya, wanda ya kafa Associationungiyar Nazari da Kula da Luwadi (NARTH) - Dokta Joseph Nicolosi. An fara buga wannan littafin a Amurka a shekara ta 2009 a ƙarƙashin taken "Rashin Kunya da Haɗuwa: Aikin Aiki na Maganin Gyara Rayuwa".

A cikin littafinsa, d. Nicolosi tattaunawa game da ko lura da wani maras tuki drive aka dauke da yarda. A ra'ayinsa, sha'awar wasu kwararru don yin irin wannan doka ta sabawa sabanin sha'awar bambancin da zamani ya bayyana. Tabbas, mara lafiyar da yake fama da sha'awar ɗan luwaɗi kuma yana son kawar da shi yana da 'yancin samun taimako da ya dace, tunda ba haka ba zai zama take hakkin ɗan adam.

Ra'ayar da aka ba da ta hanyar bangarorin da ke da sha'awar juyawa (sake bayyana jima'i, rama, rarrabewa) wariyar cutar, wanda aka yi ƙoƙari ya hana ta gaba ɗaya, tunda da alama ba zai iya zama mai tasiri ba, bugu da ƙari, yana da matukar illa, kuskure ne. Wannan, musamman, ana nuna shi ta sakamakon babban binciken da aka shirya musamman na musamman game da tasiri na juyayin juyi (waɗanda 882 mutane suka bincika), wanda ke nuna cewa 45% na waɗanda suka ɗauki kansu a matsayin ɗan luwaɗi kawai sun canza yanayin jima'i zuwa cikakkiyar maza ko kuma ya zama mafi girma. heserosexual fiye da ɗan kishili (J. Nicolosi, 2000). Kwarewar aikin asibitin mu, da sauran kwararrun likitoci, suma suna nuna yiwuwar tasirin magani.

Dr. Nicolosi ya lura cewa idan aka yi la’akari da yanayin ɗan luwaɗi na gaskiya, yana nuna cewa, ko da ba tare da la’akari da yawancin munanan sakamakonsa ga al’umma ba, ba magana ce mara lahani ba na bambance-bambancen ɗan adam, amma yanayin da ke tattare da ɓacin rai. Sabanin mahangar cewa duk matsalolin tunani na 'yan luwadi suna da alaƙa da rashin yarda da zamantakewa, marubucin ya ja hankali game da wanzuwar abubuwa masu matsala da ke tattare da ita kanta 'yan luwadi. A matsayin shaida, ya ba da misali da cewa yawan matsalolin tabin hankali a tsakanin 'yan luwadi ba su ragu ba a biranen abokantaka na luwadi kamar San Francisco ko kasashe masu jure wa luwadi kamar Netherlands da Denmark.

Akwai dalilai masu haɗari da yawa na jawo hankalin ɗan kishili. A kowane yanayi, waɗannan abubuwan suna haɗuwa ta hanyarsu. A'idar marubucin da aka gabatar don ƙirƙirar ɗan kishili ya mai da hankali kan tasirin ƙwayar halitta (halin karɓar haɓaka), amma ya fi girma sosai a kan rashin iyawar iyaye na kula da asalin yaran. Wani rawar ana takawa ta hanyar gurbatacciyar kwarewar ma'amala da takwarorinta jinsi daya. Duk wannan yana haifar da sha'awar tsinkaye daga maza, wanda saurayin da yake sha'awar jima'i na kansa, ya ɗauki sauran maza masu ban mamaki kuma sun bambanta da shi.

Dr. Nicholas ya ba da rahoton cewa, a cikin rayuwar sauran maza, yawancin maza masu luwadi suna jin daɗin rashin jin daɗi, kuma za a iya samo dalilan hakan a ƙuruciya. Wannan ya faru ne sakamakon rarrabewar mahaifinsa, sanannen ci gaban namiji ne kuma ya samo asali ne daga halayen jinsi daya. Maza masu son jinsi ɗaya suna neman kusanci da wasu mazan, yayin da suke neman a warke daga raunin da mahaifinsu ya yi musu. Suna cikin bincike akai-akai don kusanci da maza, amma a lokaci guda suna tsoron waɗannan dangantakar. Ga namiji wanda ke ƙoƙarin shawo kan matsalar ɗan kishili, yana da mahimmanci kafa da zurfafa abota na maza masu lafiya. Marubucin ya yi imanin cewa abokantaka tsakanin mace da maza waɗanda ke da sha'awar jima'i ga mai haƙuri suna ba da babbar dama don warkarwa.

Mafi sau da yawa fiye da da, halayen jinsi ɗaya ƙoƙari ne don maido da abin da aka makala ga uba. Rashin wannan abin da aka makala ana yinsa ne ta hanyar luwaɗanci, rudu, da tsinkaye. Amma ba duk abin da ke motsawa ba kawai don rashin haɗin kai a cikin tsarin ɗa-dan. A cikin lamura da yawa, rashin haɗuwa tabbas mai yiwuwa ya samo asali ne daga matsalolin daidaitawa a cikin tsarin “uwa-ɗa”. Ingantaccen tasirin magani na da haɓaka ta amfani da hanyoyi waɗanda suke bincika matsalolin farkon mahaifiya da ɗa.

A cikin babin da aka keɓe don ba da shawara ga matasa da kuma abubuwan da suka dace na gyaran su, Dokta Nicolosi ya ba da rahoto game da mummunan tasirin abubuwan zamantakewa game da samuwar asalin jinsi da kuma jagorancin sha'awar jima'i. Muna magana ne game da karuwar yawan ɗaliban da ke ɗaukar kansu bisexual ko ɗan luwadi, da karuwar yawan matasa masu fama da rikicin jima'i. Yawan fitowar kuma yana karuwa akai-akai. Ya danganta wannan kai tsaye tare da karuwar shaharar "gayism" a matsayin yanayin gaye da bayyane.

A cikin littafinsa, Dr. Nicholas ya ba da hankali ga matakai huɗu na asalin ɗan kishili wanda ke da alaƙa da wasu tsaka-tsakin shekaru, da kuma manyan abubuwa mai ciki и postgender liwadi, wanda aka ƙaddara, bi da bi, a cikin 80 da 20% na shari'o'i.

Bambancin farko game da samuwar an danganta shi da ƙwaƙwalwar iyali. A ra'ayinsa, samfurin dangi wanda "yana haifar da dan luwadi" galibi baya iya tabbatar da daidaitowar maza na maza a matakin samuwar sihirinsa. (Individuation tsari ne na ilmin kimiya na kimiya, yana nuna cigaban mutum ne ta hanyar hadewar hankali da masaniya.) A cikin aikin sa, Dr. Nicholas sau da yawa ya sadu da wani tsarin iyali, wanda ya haɗu da samfura biyu waɗanda ke warware rarrabuwa tsakanin jinsi - babban gidan sau uku da dangin narcissistic. Tare sun kirkiro abin da ya kira dangin-mai ba da labari sau uku.

Gidan dangi sau uku shine tsarin wanda ya hada da mahaifiyar tutelary overly da mahaifin mahaifin mai tsananin / ware. Bayyanin halayen ɗan a cikin irin wannan dangi, Nicolosi ya bayyana shi a matsayin mai ban sha'awa, mai jin kunya, mai ɓoyewa, kirkira da hasashe. Iyaye sun yi imanin cewa idan aka kwatanta da sauran sonsa sonsan su, waɗannan yaran suna da hankali da taushi, ƙwarewar magana da dabi'ar kamala sun fi bayyana. An jaddada cewa ko da yake yawanci ana ƙaddara yanayin ƙira ne, za a iya samun waɗannan halayen (musamman rashin jin daɗi). Irin wannan yanayin mai hankali da nutsuwa na yarinyar yana karfafawa mahaifiyar ta kasance tare da shi, wanda hakan ke nesanta shi da ci gaban al'ada ta hanyar daidaikun mutane. Dangantaka tsakanin uba da danta baya karawa. Yaron ya ɗauki mahaifinsa da ƙiyayya yana da wuyar ma'ana, babu wata ma'amala da ma'amala mai ma'ana a tsakanin su, wanda hakan ke haifar da keta alfarmar yarinyar maza. Ya san mahaifinsa a matsayin amintaccen abu / shaidar da ta dace. Marasa lafiya na Nicolosy sukan ce: "ban taɓa fahimtar mahaifina ba." "Abin da ya kasance, abin da bai kasance ba." "Ya kasance koyaushe yana da karancin bayanan martaba." "Bai zama kamar mutum abin tunawa ba.

Abunda ya biyo baya shima yana da tamkarsa mai rauni a wannan batun. Tun da mahaifiyar ta bambanta ɗanta da sauran wakilan maza, saboda halayensa na tunani, wanda, a ra'ayin ta, ya sa ya fi sauran maza, ba lallai ne ya sami masalaha ba don ya sami matsayinsa a duniya. Yanayi “Ni da mahaifiyata muna tsayayya da waɗannan kwari masu rikicewar rikice-rikice na maza” ya sa ba zai yiwu a ware saurayin ba (rashin daidaiton sa), yana hana shi ƙwarewar ƙarfin mashin da ya wajaba a gare shi. Sakamakon wannan shine ɗaukacin ɗan saurayi don wannan ɓangaren sashinsa na asali, wanda bazai iya kafa shi ba. Ya fara neme ta “wani waje a can” a cikin hoton wani mutum, yana jin mai son mutuƙar ƙauna, wanda kuma zai sami ma'anar azanci.

Ganin yadda iyaye ke taka rawa wajen haifar da maza, sai dai Nicolosi ya ce yaro lafiyayye ya sani kuma yana murna da cewa “Ba wai ni kadai bane”, har ma da cewa “Ni yaro ne”. A wasu halaye, iyaye suna azabtar da shi sosai game da halayen maza saboda suna daukar shi mai haɗari ko rashin damuwa. A wasu halaye, lokacin da aka haifi yaro mai hankali tare da yanayin fushi, ba sa yin ƙoƙarin su sami bayyanar ganewar namiji, wanda wannan yaron yana buƙatar tallafi na musamman. Don tabbatar da ra'ayin sa, Dr. Nicolosi yana nufin furucin Stoller cewa ma'abuta babban rabo ne, ba kyauta bane. Tana da matukar rauni ga raunin kwakwalwa wanda ke faruwa yayin haɓaka da samuwar maza.

Yaro prehomosexual yaro, ya rubuta Dr. Nicolosi, fuskantar gogewar ƙauna tare da kowane mahaifa a cikin hanyoyi daban-daban. Yawancin lokaci yana jin cewa mahaifinsa yana watsi da shi ko kuma ƙyamar shi, mahaifiyarsa kuma tana yin amfani da shi ko tausaya masa. Iyayen biyu suna iya, a hanyarsu, har zuwa garesu, son ƙauna, amma yayin sadarwa a wani matakin suna nuna cewa gaskiya "Ni" ba a yarda da su a wata hanya ba.

Lokacin da wannan lalacewar abin da aka makala ta ji da ɗan da ya girma cikin tsarin iyali na sau uku-narcissistic, bukatunsa da basu dace ba ya ragu, kuma an ɓoye wannan asarar a ƙwaƙwalwar ajiyar. A sakamakon haka, an tsara jerin abubuwa masu zuwa:

1) asarar abin da aka makala;
2) sakamakon wannan rashi na jinsi;
3) rama ga raunin jinsi ta hanyar liwadi.

Yin luwadi da madigo, in ji G. Nicolosi, kariya ce ta son kai game da makoki saboda asarar kusanci na gaskiya ga ɗayan iyayen. Yin aiki ta hanyar makoki babu makawa zai gamu da rudu da hargitsi, kariya mai ƙarfi biyu. Mafarki shine ra'ayoyin tabbatattu na karya waɗanda narcissism ke motsa su. Misali irin na yau da kullun shine bayanin: “Ina neman wata kyakkyawar mace wacce take kula da bukatuna kuma ta fahimce ni sosai. Sai lokacin da na samu guda daya zan dauki kaina a shirye na aura. " Sabanin haka, karkatarwa ra'ayoyi ne marasa kyau dangane da kunya. Suna gudana daga lalacewar kai kuma suna haifar da halakarwa, halakar da kai da kuma halin lalacewa. Misalin murdiya shi ne bayani mai zuwa: "Babu yarinyar da za ta taba so na idan ta san ni da gaske."

Idan isharar da hargitsi wadanda suke da asali tun daga lokacin ƙuruciya suka zama ba za a taɓa fahimta ba, to akwai sauran rudani a ciki. Kasancewa da motsin mara jin daɗi da raɗaɗi na jijiyoyin jiki a gaban mai ilimin tauhidi, mai haƙuri ya fara jin daɗi. Sakamakon bincike na baƙin ciki, sannu a hankali da sanadiyyar lalacewar tushen tushen ɗan luwaɗan da ba'a so ba daga cikin maraƙin ya faru, wanda ya faɗaɗa asalin.

Bayan aiwatar da baƙin ciki, in ji J. Nicolosi, marasa lafiya sun fi fahimtar mutanen da suka yi tasiri a rayuwar da ta gabata. Wannan tsari ba wai kawai zai bude idanunsu ga dangin dangin dangin su bane kawai, harma ya koyar dasu yadda zasu bi dasu ta hanyar balagaggu wanda ya ki yarda da abinda yake dashi a baya domin mutanen da suka shiga rayuwarsa kai tsaye zasu zama masu kyau ko marasa kyau. suna a zahiri. Sakamakon wannan tsari shima kin yarda da rashin jin daɗin da hankalin kowa yayi muku, cewa mutane a rayuwar duniya sun cancanci rama irin fushin da kuka gabata. Cire baƙin ciki ya ƙare bayan mutum ya sami ikon yin watsi da rashin tunani da hargitsi da ya yi amfani da shi don ɓoye zafin asara. Bayan baƙin ciki, zai iya rayuwa mafi aminci, gaskiya da rayuwa ta gaske.

Marubucin ya nuna halayen zaɓi na biyu (nau'in jinsi) kamar haka. Ya lura cewa mai haƙuri a bayan jinsi ya samu nasarar kammala yanayin asalin mutum, amma daga baya ya sami wani nau'in rauni wanda sha'awarsa ta zama mai tsara lamarin. Samun halayen maza da dabi'un da ba na mata ba, waɗannan marasa lafiya suna kama da “madaidaiciya,” amma a lokaci guda suna jin kansu a cikin buƙatar damuwa mai ƙauna ta maza. Raunin Postgender yawanci ana haifar da shi don ɗan uwan ​​dattijo, uba, mahaɗa da tashin hankali a makaranta. Hakanan yana iya tasowa sakamakon cin zarafin jima'i ko saboda mahaifiyar "eccentric" wacce ta haifar da tsoro da fushi, wanda mai haƙuri yanzu ya bazu ga duk mata kuma wanda ke hana shi kafa kyakkyawar dangantaka tare da su. Waɗannan mutane suna kama da "mutane na yau da kullun," amma a fili ba su da masaniya kan abin da suka yi. Irin wannan jinsi na jinsi na irin wannan marassa lafiyar baya motsa shi ta hanyar sha'awar mallakar halayen namiji na wani mutum, amma ta hanyar son kwantar da hankali ta hanyar tallafin maza da ta'aziyya, wanda hakan zai rage damuwar su.

Marubucin ya ba da rahoto game da canjin ra'ayinsa game da luwaɗi. Idan tun da farko ya yi imani da cewa liwadi wani yunkuri ne na maye gurbin gibin asalin jinsi, yanzu yana ganin hakan a matsayin wani abu da ya fi haka: a mataki mai zurfi, kariya ce daga mafi tsananin ciwo da asarar haɗuwa ta haifar. Gaskiyar wannan ra'ayi, ya lura, an tabbatar da shi fiye da sau ɗaya daga mutanen da ya shawarta. Luwadi yana lulluɓe wahalar asara mai yawa kuma yana aiki ne na ɗan lokaci (duk da cewa ba mai cika shi ba) daga masifar da ke tattare da mawuyacin halin rashin abin da aka haɗa. Yin luwadi da madigo, gwargwadon fahimtarsa, nau'ine ne na ramawa (maidowa), wanda yunƙuri ne na sumewa don rashi. Ta hanyar jan hankalinsa zuwa ga jinsi, namiji yana ƙoƙari ya cika buƙata mara tasiri don kulawa, haɗuwa, amincewa daga wakilan jinsi ɗaya, da kuma kawar da gazawar asalin jinsi.

Magana Vyacheslav Khalansky, masanin ilimin halayyar dan adam da kuma psychotherapist.

Dubawa Robert Perloff, tsohon shugaban Psyungiyar Halayyar Ilimin Halayyar Amurka, malamin farfesa ne a Jami'ar Pittsburgh.

Dubawa Farfesa. Bilobrivki R. I., Shugaban Sashin ilimin halayyar dan adam, Psychology da Sexology, Lviv National Medical University Daniil na Galitsky.

Dubawa Hermann Hartfeld, DRS, Theol., PhD.

Dubawa Candan takarar na ilimin ilimin ilimin kimiyya, Mataimakin Farfesa Galina V. Katolik, Shugaban Sashen Nazarin Ilimin halin andwaƙwalwa da Ilimin Jima'i na Jami'ar Katolika ta Yukren, Shugaban Cibiyar Ilimin Yammacin Yammacin Yammacin Yammacin Turai da kuma Lauyan Iyali, memba na EAA.

Dubawa Taras Nikolaevich Dyatlik, Shugaban Kwamitin Majalisar Dinkin Duniya kan Ilimin Ilimin Ilimin Injila, Daraktan Yankin na Overseas Council Int. na Yuro-Asiya, shugaban sashen ci gaban ilimi na redungiyar Asusun Tarayyar Turai-Asiya.

Dubawa Elena Yaremko, likita na ilimin halin dan adam, psychotherapist (hadewa na psychotherapy na haɗin kai); Jami'ar Katolika ta Ukraine.

Dubawa Kocharyan Garnik Surenovich, MD, farfesa a Sashen Nazarin Kwayar halitta, Likita na Likita, Likita da Ilimin halayyar dan adam na Kharkov Medical Academy of Postgraduate Education

An gabatar da cikakken bayani game da marubucin, labaransa da littattafansa (a cikin hanyar jama'a) a shafin yanar gizon sa na sirri  http://gskochar.narod.ru

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