Mfundi othandekayo, igama lam nguJake. Ndingumntu olifanasini kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini ukusuka eNgilane. Le dayari yenzelwe abo bachasayo umbono wokutshintsha imeko yesini. Iingcali ziye zafunda ngesondo amashumi eminyaka kwaye ziye zagqiba kwelokuba isini siyahluka kubantu abaninzi. Ubungqina bucebisa ukuba iimvakalelo zesini zinokutshintsha ebomini. Inyaniso yokuba abantu abaninzi bayayitshintsha indlela abajonga ngayo ngokwesini yinyani eqinisekisiweyo. Ndingomnye waba bantu.
Andisaziva nditsala amadoda; amantombazana ngoku anomdla ngakumbi kum. Nje ukuba ndingacingi njalo, kodwa ngoku ndiyacinga.
Kanye, ukulala kubusuku obunesithukuthezi, ndizicingele ngenye indoda ngenye indlela, ngoku ndinokuzithelekelela ndedwa nentombazana yesetyhini.
Abanye abonwabanga yile meko yemicimbi. Baqinisekile ngesondo labo kangangokuba abanakwamkela ukuba kukho abo bangasenazo kwaphela iimvakalelo zabo. Banoyolo ngakumbi xa abantu bejika baba ngamafanasini, kodwa abathandi xa kwenzeke into eyahlukileyo. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu abafana nam babizwa ngokuba ngabasebenzi benzondo, kwaye kungenxa yokuba andifuni ukuba neentlobano zesini namadoda!
Ngaba bakhetha mna ukuba bathi cwaka ngokutshintsha ubufanasini, ndihlale kubuxoki kwaye ndikukhanyele kwenzeka ntoni? Ewe, kuyabonakala! Bafuna ukundithulisa, bandiphange ilungelo lokuphila ngendlela endiyonyulayo, kwaye bandinyanzele ukuba ndikhokelele indlela yokuphila abazibona ifanelekile!
Andiyekanga nje ukuba ngungqingili, kodwa ndiziva ndonwabile. Mna ngokwam ndiza kulawula ubomi bam ngendlela endifuna ngayo, hayi indlela abandixelela ngayo. Ndigqibe kwelokuba nditshintshe isini sam kwaye ndiyenzile.
Ukucaphula iintshutshiso zesini:
Ndilapha!
Andisemgceni kwakhona!
Qhela kuyo!
Ibali elipheleleyo lesiNgesi: https://www.equalityandjusticeforall.org/diary-of-an-ex-gay-man