A Joseph Nicolosi, Doctor of Psychology ati:

Monga dokotala wama psychologist yemwe amathandizira amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ndimayang'ana modandaula momwe gulu la LGBT limatsimikizira dziko lonse lapansi kuti lingaliro la "gay" likufunika kumvetsetsa kwathunthu kumvetsetsa kwa munthu.

Gulu la akatswiri azamisala ndiloyenera kuvomereza izi. M'mbuyomu, aliyense sanali kuvomereza kuti chizolowezi ndich "chomwe chimagwira molingana ndi nthawi yake." Panalibe chilichonse chotchedwa "gay," popeza mtundu wonse wa anthu umafotokozedwa mwachilengedwe komanso mosiyana. Kwazaka zanga za 30 pazachipatala, ndatsimikiza za chowonadi cha kumvetsetsa koyambirira kumeneku.

Kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, m'malingaliro mwanga, makamaka ndi chizindikiro cha kuvutikira amuna kapena akazi. Khalidwe logonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi chizindikiro chofuna “kukanda” bala lalikulu, kupatutsa mnyamatayo pachikhalidwe chomwe adalephera kuwonetsa. Izi zimasiyanitsa mchitidwewu ndi umuna, womwe umachitika mwadzidzidzi pakudziwika kuti uli wamkazi kapena wamwamuna. Mikangano yayikulu nthawi zambiri yogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha imawoneka motere: mwana, yemwe nthawi zambiri amakhala womvera komanso wokonda kutaya mtima kuposa wapakati, amayembekeza chikondi ndi kuvomerezedwa ndi kholo la amuna kapena akazi anzawo, koma nthawi yomweyo amakhumudwa komanso kumukwiyira, chifukwa izi Kholo limamuwona mwana kukhala wosaganizira kapena wosakulitsa. (Dziwani kuti abale ndi alongo a mwana uyu akhoza kumuwona kholo lomwelo).

Mchitidwe wogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi makonzedwe olakwika a unansi wachidaniwu. Monga zosokoneza zonse, kukopa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zonse kumakhala ndi gawo la mkati la udani. Ndimagwiritsa ntchito mawuwa, osati kukhumudwitsa wina aliyense, koma poganiza kuti chitukuko cha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha "chimasokonekera", ndiye kuti, "chimapangitsa munthu kuchoka" kuchoka kwachinthu chogwirizana ndi chilengedwe.

Chifukwa chake, kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumakhazikitsidwa pamikangano: kusamvana kovomerezana kugonana kwachilengedwe, mikangano pamaubwenzi a kholo ndi mwana, ndipo, monga lamulo, kusamvana kokana kukwatirana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo. Ndipo izi zikutanthauza kuti mtundu wodzigonjera uwoneke womwe ungasokoneze maubwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Kwa amuna okonda kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kugonana ndi kuyesa kutenga wina ndikulamulira. Imagwira ngati "chokhala" chophiphiritsa cha munthu wina, ndipo nthawi zambiri chimaphatikizapo kuchita zankhanza kwambiri kuposa chikondi.

Ambiri ogonana amuna ndi akazi amati adachitiridwa nkhanza ndi amuna ali mwana. Kuchitiridwa zachipongwe kumachitidwanso chiwawa, chifukwa asinthidwa ngati chikondi. Izi ndi zomwe wodwala wina akunena za wachinyamata wamkulu yemwe anali kumuzunza:

“Ndinkafuna kukondedwa ndi kusamalidwa, ndipo chilichonse chinali chosokonezeka ndi kugonana. Munthawi imeneyi, sindinkagonana ndi anyamata ena konse. Ndimaganiza kuti (wonyengayo) anali bwino. Sanandilabadire, pokhapokha akafuna kusangalala ndi ine. Ubwenzi wathu utayamba kugonana, chinali chinthu chapadera, chosangalatsa komanso champhamvu, ngati kuti panali chinsinsi pakati pathu. Ndinalibe anzanga ena, ndipo ubale wanga wolakwika ndi bambo anga sukanathandiza. Ndinkafuna ubale ... (koma) zokumbukira izi zimandivuta ... ndimadana nazo. Zonsezi ndizonyansa, zolakwika .... Ichi ndi chifukwa chomwe ndimakopeka ndi jenda yanga.

Kuyanjana pakati pa ziwawa zakale ndi chikhalidwe chamakono cha wodwala ndi chitsanzo cha kubwereza mokakamiza. Pofunafuna chikondi ndi kudziwidwa, amadzipeza ali pagulu lobwereza zomwe zimapangitsa kuti adzipheke ndi kudziwonetsa yekha, mothandizidwa ndi zomwe mosazindikira amayesetsa kuti apambane kupambana komaliza ndikuchiritsa kuvulala kwake. Kubwereza mokakamizidwa kumakhala ndi zinthu zitatu: 1) kuyesa kudziletsa, 2) njira yodzipangira nokha, 3) kupewera kusamvana kwakukulu.

Kwa anthu otere, chikhumbo chodzizindikiritsa kudzera mu kukopeka kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha chimalimbikitsidwa ndi mantha kuti kudzilimbitsa kwawo amuna kudzalephera ndikupangitsa manyazi. Amasankha phwando lokonzanso zomwe zidachitika kale ndikuyembekeza kuti, mosiyana ndi milandu yakale, "nthawi ino ndidzapeza zomwe ndikufuna: ndi munthuyu ndizipeza mphamvu zamamuna" ndipo "nthawi ino ndikusowa mtendere wamkati pamapeto pake zimatha. ”M'malo mwake, amapatsa mphamvu munthu wina kuti amukane, am'chititse manyazi, ndikupangitsa kuti azidziona ngati wopanda ntchito. Zinthu zochititsa manyazizi zikamaseweredwa mobwerezabwereza, zimangolimbitsa chidaliro chake kuti iye ndiwopanda chiyembekezo komanso wopanda chikondi.

Amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zambiri amavomereza ludzu la "adrenaline rush", lomwe limalimbikitsa chinthu china chamantha oyamba. Pali mtundu wonse wamagulu achimuna omwe amachita zachiwerewere m'malo opezeka anthu ambiri, amasangalala kuchita nawo m'malo ngati mapaki, zimbudzi zapagulu ndi malo oimikapo magalimoto. Chidwi chawo cholakwika chimakhala chowopa kuti mwina agwidwa ndi manja.

Chitani kanthu sodomy kwenikweni ndi kuonerera. Kugonana kwa anal, monga kuphwanya cholinga cha thupi lathu, sikumakhala koopsa komanso kosokoneza bongo, komanso kumabweretsa kuwonongeka kwa rectum komanso kufalikira kwa matenda, chifukwa matumbo athu amakhala osalimba. Mwamaganizidwe, izi zimapangitsa ulemu waumunthu ndi umuna. Kuchita zogonana mokakamizidwa, ndi masewero ake onse komanso malonjezo okhutiritsa, imabisala chidwi chakuya, choyambirira chofuna kupeza chikondi chenicheni. Izi zimatsegulira zenera kuti timvetsetse chifukwa chake gulu la gay limapitilizabe kusakhutira kwambiri, ngakhale zitakhala kuti sizinachitikepo chifukwa chogwirizana ndi anthu.

Kukanika kwa dziko la amuna gay ndi kosatsutsika. Kafukufuku amatipatsa umboni wazofanizira izi zopanda chiyembekezo ndi amuna omwe si amuna kapena akazi okhaokha:

• Kukakamizidwa kugonana pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi kupitirira kasanu ndi kamodzi.

• Amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amazunza akazi awo katatu.

• Amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amawonetsa zizolowezi zomvetsa chisoni.

• Kufalikira kwa zovuta ndi nkhawa zomwe zili pafupi kwambiri.

• Vuto la mantha limachitika kangapo.

• Kusokonezeka kwa umunthu wa Bipolar - kopitilira kasanu.

Khalidwe la antisocial - pafupifupi kanayi.

• agoraphobia (kuwopa kukhala m'malo a anthu) - kasanu ndi kamodzi.

• Matenda ochititsa chidwi kwambiri - kangapo konse.

• Zodzivulaza mwadala (mpaka kudzipha) mpaka ku 10 nthawi zambiri.

• Mankhwala osokoneza bongo a Nikotine - kangapo.

• Kuledzera kwa mowa kuli pafupifupi katatu konse.

• Mitundu ina ya mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi ochulukirapo kanayi.

Kugonana kosayenera kumawonetsedwa bwino mu maphunziro apamwamba a McUirter ndi Mattison, omwe adalemba m'buku lawo The Male Couple (1984) kuti za ubale wa 165 womwe adawawona, palibe banja lomwe lidatha kukhalabe lokhulupirika zaka zoposa zisanu. Olembawo, pokhala iwo eni amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, adadabwa kupeza kuti chigololo sichidali chongowononga pachiyanjano chonse, koma ndidafunikanso kuchisunga. Amaliza motere: "Chofunikira kwambiri chomwe chimapangitsa kuti mabanja azikhala limodzi zaka khumi zikukhala limodzi ndikusazindikira kuti wina ndi mnzake” (p. 256).

Kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kulibe tanthauzo m'chilengedwe, pokhapokha ngati chisonyezo komanso zotsatira za zovuta. Kupanda kutero, sichinthu chochokera kudziko lino, zopeka zopangidwa kuchokera ku zongoyerekeza ndi kukhumbira. Koma mothandizidwa ndi atolankhani, Hollywood ndi olamulira andale (posachedwa chifukwa cha oyang'anira a Obama), tanthauzo latsopano la munthu lidapangidwa. Chinyengo cha chilankhulochi chinayambitsa nthano, zopeka komanso malingaliro abodza, zomwe zidachitika. Anthropology yakale inatembenuzidwa mozondoka, ndipo munthu watsopano anapangidwa. Munthu akapachika cholembera "gay", amadzipatula kudziko lachilengedwe ndikupeza yekha gawo lodzachitika ndi anthu.

Kuyambira kwa bambo kupita kwa mwana wamwamuna, mpaka kwa mdzukulu, kwa mdzukulu wamkulu, mbewu ya munthu ndi yolumikizana nayo mibadwo yonse. Kupitila mu DNA, iye amakhalabe ndi moyo pambuyo pa kufa. Kamodzi m'mimba mwa mkazi, mbewu yake imabala munthu watsopano. Koma ndi kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, mbewu ya moyo imangosowa pakuwola ndi kufa. Muzochitika zachilengedwe zogonana, mtundu wa anthu umasungidwa, ndipo munthu akupitilizabe kukhala m'mibadwo yamtsogolo. Koma pogonana komwe kumasokonezedwa ndi zoopsa, zomwe zimaphwanya cholinga chathupi, mphamvu zake zachilengedwe zimabweretsa imfa. Chifukwa chake, makonzedwe anzeru a thupi amavumbula kusiyana uku: moyo watsopano kapena kuwola ndi imfa.

Ndizosadabwitsa kuti tikuwona kusakhutira kochuluka kwambiri mu dziko la gay, osati chifukwa chotsutsana ndi anthu, koma chifukwa munthu yemwe akukhala mdziko lino lapansi akumva zopanda pake pakudziwika kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Zimayimira kutha kwa zaka zaka zana zapitazo za makolo ake, omwe kale anali olumikizana wina ndi mnzake kudzera m'maukwati achilengedwe kwa zaka zambiri. Mdziko lenileni, kudziwika kwa gay sikumveka. Kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi chizindikiro chabe chobwezeretsedwera kulipidwa.

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