Kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha: matenda kapena moyo?

Dokotala wodziwika bwino wamaganizidwe apakati pa zaka za m'ma 1900, MD Edmund Bergler adalemba mabuku a 25 pa psychology ndi zolemba za 273 mumagazini otsogolera akatswiri. Mabuku ake amakhala ndi mitu monga kakulidwe ka ana, ma neurosis, zovuta zam'banja, mavuto aukwati, njuga, kudziwononga, komanso kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Otsatirawa ndi zigawo za m'buku “Kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha: matenda kapena moyo?»

Kwazaka pafupifupi makumi atatu tsopano ndakhala ndikuchita zachiwerewere, ndimakhala nawo maola ambiri panthawi yowunikira. Ndinganene molondola kuti sindimadana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha; kwa ine ndiwodwala omwe akufunika chithandizo chamankhwala. Ndinkachita bwino kwambiri ndi iwo, zolephera zina komanso zokhumudwitsa zina. Ndimawafunsa mwayi wophunzira momwe amaganizira, komanso zamtundu komanso kutalika kwa matenda awo. Mwambiri, ndilibe chifukwa chodandaula za amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Komabe, ngakhale ndilibe tsankho, ndikadandifunsidwa kuti ndimagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ndinganene kuti amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi anthu osasangalatsa, ngakhale akhale ndi chikhalidwe chosasangalatsa kapena chosasangalatsa. Inde, siziwachititsa mikangano yawo yosazindikira, koma kusamvana kumeneku kumatenga mphamvu zawo zamkati kuti chipolopolo chakunja chimakhala chosakanikirana, chamwano ndi kusewera. Monga onse ochita zamatsenga, amasinjirira akakumana ndi munthu wamphamvu, ndipo akapatsidwa mphamvu, amakhala opusa, kupondaponda munthu wopanda mphamvu popanda chisoni chochepa. Chilankhulo chokha chomwe osamvetsetsa kwawo chimawadziwa. Chomwe chimadabwitsa kwambiri ndikuti simupeza dzina labwino pakati pawo (lomwe limatchedwa "munthu wabwino") pakati pawo.

Pokhala kuti sindinadziwe zakukhosi kwanga, ndinawasanthula mobwerezabwereza ndi odwala omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ndikuwapempha kuti afotokoze mwachidule malingaliro awo ponena za amuna omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha zaka zambiri atachira. Zovuta za omwe adagwirizana nawo kale ndi omwe adachiritsidwa odwala omwe adachiritsidwaponso zinali zakutsutsa kowopsa, poyerekeza ndi momwe kuwunikira kwanga kunamveka ngati zolankhula kwa mwana.


Wogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amadzazidwa ndi zosakaniza izi:

  1. Kutsitsa Masochistic ndikusonkhanitsa zopanda chilungamo.
  2. Zoipa zoteteza.
  3. Frivolity yophimba kukhumudwa ndi kudziimba mlandu.
  4. Hypernarcissism ndi kudzikuza.
  5. Kukana kuvomereza machitidwe ovomerezeka pazinthu zopanda kugonana popanda chinyengo kuti ufulu wokhala ndi mbali zoyenera mwamakhalidwe ndi chifukwa cha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ngati chindapusa chifukwa cha "kuvutika" kwawo.
  6. Kusatekeseka kwathunthu, mwachilengedwe kapena pang'ono kapena psychopathic chikhalidwe.

Chosangalatsa kwambiri cha sextet iyi yamakhalidwe ndi kusunthika kwake. Mosasamala za luntha, chikhalidwe, komwe adachokera kapena maphunziro, ogonana onse amakhala nawo.

JOURNEY GATHER

Aliyense wogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi okhometsa kuchitira chisalungamo choncho ndi psycho-masochist. Wonyoza zamatsenga ndi wamanjenje yemwe, mwa kusazindikira kwake, amapanga zochitika zomwe angamenyedwe, kuchititsidwa manyazi komanso kukanidwa.

WOPANDA KUKHALA WOSAVUTA, WOKHALA WOKHALA WOSAUKA

Amunthu amene amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zonse amakhala maso. "Kuyenda" kwake (njira yogonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuti apeze mphindi ziwiri kapena, kapena, kwa nthawi yochepa) ndikutalika kuposa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Malinga ndi omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, izi zimatsimikizira kuti amalakalaka mitundu yosiyanasiyana ndipo ali ndi chilakolako chogonana. M'malo mwake, izi zimangotsimikizira kuti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi zakudya zochepa komanso zosakwaniritsa zogonana. Zimatsimikiziranso kukhalapo kwa chikhumbo chosakhala chowoneka chowopsa: nthawi zonse m'magulu ake ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhala pachiwopsezo chogunda, kuyesera kupha, kapena matenda opatsirana mwa kugonana.

MALANGIZO OTHANDIZA A MGALOMANIC POPHUNZITSIRA KUTHA KWA HOMOSEXUALISTS NDIPONSO OKHA KWA MALO OTSOGOLA

Maonedwe okhudzana ndi moyo ndi chizindikiro china cha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Amatsimikiza mtima kwambiri zakukula kwa mtundu wake kuposa ena onse, ndipo nthawi zambiri amachirikiza chikhulupiriro ichi ndi zitsanzo zosamvetsetseka zakale. Nthawi yomweyo, ali wotsimikiza kuti "Pansi pamtima, aliyense ali ndi zokonda zogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha".

KULIMBIKITSA KWAMBIRI NDI ZOCHULUKITSA ZATSOPANO

Mwa zina, kunyengerera kwa kukongola kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikulepheretsa kukhumudwa kwakukulu kwamkati. Mofanana ndi Napoleonic, “kanda munthu wa ku Russia ndipo udzapeza wa Chitata,” munthu anganene kuti: “Kandani munthu amene amagonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndipo mudzapeza munthu wovutika maganizo. Nthawi zina kuseketsa kopanda pake kwa “magay” [kwenikweni kuti “gay”] - mawu akuti ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amadzipangira okha - ndi njira yobisika yobisika. Iyi ndi njira yodzitetezera ku kukhumudwa kwa masochistic. Njira ina yotereyi ndi mkwiyo wopambanitsa ndi wosalamulirika wa ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, omwe nthawi zonse amakhala okonzeka kugwiritsidwa ntchito. Mkwiyo uwu ndi wofanana ndi nkhanza zachinyengo zomwe zafotokozedwa patebulo:

KUKULA MWAZI KWA PANSI KUCHOKA KU CHIPEMBEDZO

Mosapatulapo, liwongo lozama lamkati lobwera chifukwa cha kupotoza limapezeka mwa onse ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Uwu ndi mlandu wochotsedwa wokhudzana ndi gawo la masochistic. Kulakwa, kaya kuvomerezedwa kapena kukanidwa (kawirikawiri kukanidwa), ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri la machitidwe ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. "Kusonkhanitsa" kulakwa kumeneku ndikubwezeretsanso kumalo ake kumakhala ngati njira yosinthira chithandizo chamankhwala amisala. Apa m'pofunika kusiyanitsa kupotoza m'maganizo maganizo ndi wotchuka: yotsirizira imaphatikizapo tanthauzo la makhalidwe abwino, pamene kupotoza maganizo kumatanthauza kugonana khanda, zimachitika munthu wamkulu, ndi kutsogolera ku orgasm. Mwachidule - matenda.

ZOONA ZONSE

Amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amawonetsa zamwano zambiri zopanda nkhanza komanso zachiwawa zomwe sizimagwirizana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi. Ngakhale muzochitika zazing'ono zomwe zimagwirizana ndi zibwenzi zazitali, pali kuphulika kwansanje. Khalidwe lansanje ili limayambitsa mikangano yozama: zomwe zimawoneka ngati nsanje pamwambapa, ndi nthawi yokhayi yopanga zosalungama. Izi ndizowonekera kwambiri pazochitika pomwe wokonda mnzake wosankhidwa bwino amasankhidwa ndipo kukhulupirika kumayembekezereka kwa iye.

“ZOSAYENSE” NGATI DZIKO LAPANSI LA PSYCHOPATHIC TRENDS

Kusakhazikika, kuyambira pamalingaliro mpaka ku chizolowezi chotchedwa psychopathic, ndiye ulamuliro, osati okhawo pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Kukhala mu malo okhala wachiwembu, amagwiritsa ntchito njira zachidule, zotsekereza komanso chiwembu. Nthawi zina njira zawo zakukakamiza zimawoneka ngati zochokera kwa olamulira mwankhanza. Kuvomereza mwanzeru ndi kosavuta: "Ndinavutika kwambiri - nditha."


Masiku ano, vuto la kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndilovuta kwambiri kuposa zaka khumi zapitazo. Kusokonekera kwakhala kofala kwambiri chifukwa chakuwumba kwatsopano kwa omwe abwera chifukwa chakufalitsa ziwerengero zolakwika. Makhalidwe ena amakhala akukopeka ndi kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, komabe, kuphatikiza pakulemba ntchito, m'zaka zaposachedwa tawona mtundu watsopano wa "olemba". Awa ndi achinyamata omwe ali ndi zaka pafupifupi 20 - "malire" omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, posankha kukhala "kapena sangakhale," amakhala pakati pa mipando iwiri. Kukakamiza kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha pankhaniyi kumaperekedwa ndi mawu monga Kinsey. Ambiri mwa "alonda a m'malire" awa si amuna kapena akazi okhaokha: kuyesa kwawoko ndi kuyesa kosayenera (kochokera ku chikhulupiriro cholakwika chakuti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha "ndikwabwino komanso kuvomerezedwa ndi sayansi") kuli ndi zotsatirapo zomvetsa chisoni, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti azidziimba mlandu komanso kuti azikayikira. Katundu uyu amalimbikira ngakhale atabwereranso kuchikhalidwe cha amuna ndi akazi. Kuwona kowopsa ndi komvetsa chisoni kwa "amuna omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha" ndi chifukwa chakulephera kufalitsa mfundo zosavuta zamankhwala.


Chovuta chatsopano komanso chosavomerezeka m'mavuto aukwati chinali ukwati wa omwe amatchedwa "mabiseti" kwa azimayi osaganizira omwe maganizidwe awo amawonongeka atazindikira kuti si akazi, koma chithunzi ... "Ubwenzi" wake ndiwofotokozeratu za amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, yemwe adasungabe zotsalira pakugonana, zomwe kwa kanthawi zidamupangitsa kuti azitha kugonana popanda chilolezo, ndikumupatsa zofunikira zamkati. Palibe amene angathe kuvina pa maukwati awiri nthawi imodzi, ngakhale amuna anzeru kwambiri. Kugawana kofananirana kwa zolinga zogwirizana pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikungokhala kokha chifukwa kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikungoyambitsa kugonana, koma njira yoteteza. Omwe amatchedwa "ma bisexcript" kwenikweni ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe amaphatikizana pang'ono ndi akazi osakonda. Pamene amuna kapena akazi okhaokha motere akakwatira mkazi wosazindikira, kusokonekera kwa mwamuna wake ndikosapeweka komanso kowopsa. Maukwati a "bisexourse" amayambitsa chifukwa cha zoyambira kapena chifukwa chabodza choti ukwati ungawaphunzitse zoyenera. M'mbuyomu, maukwati oterewa anali osowa; ali pano ulamuliro.


Pakadali pano nkhondo zomenyanirana zimenyedwa mbali zitatu:
Ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha: "Ndife anthu wamba ndipo tikufuna kuti atizindikire!"
Amuna okhaokha: "Ndinu opanduka ndi malo anu andende!"
Akatswiri azamisala: "Ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi anthu odwala ndipo akuyenera kuwathandizidwa."
Mothandizidwa ndi malipoti a Kinsey, ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha adatha kulimba mtima tsopano amafunika kukhala ocheperako. Monga momwe zimasinthira nthawi iliyonse, ndi theka lomwe lingaperekedwe. Pakati pawo, zofunika kwambiri ndi:

  1. Kufalitsa chidziwitso kuti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi matenda amitsempha komwe zovuta komanso zowononga zomwe zimapangitsa zimayambitsa umunthu wonse, komanso kuti si njira ya moyo.
  2. Kufalitsa chidziwitso chakuti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi matenda ochiritsika.
  3. Kulenga ndikusamalira madipatimenti othandizira kuchiritsa odwala omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha m'magulu azachipatala omwe ali ndi zipatala zothandizidwa ndi akatswiri a zamisala ophunzitsidwa bwino.

Mpaka pano, nkhondo yolimbana ndi kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha yakhala ikulimbana ndi zolinga zabwino komanso zomveka komanso zoletsa zofanana mwalamulo. Palibe njira iliyonse yomwe yathandizira. Kutsutsana kumawonongeka pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha chifukwa, kunyalanyaza misonkhano, amakwaniritsa mkwiyo wawo wamtunduwu. Ziwopsezo zakumangidwa zilibe ntchito chimodzimodzi: megalomania wamba wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amalola kuti aziganiza ngati yekha, pomwe malingaliro ake ocheperako amatha kupangitsa kuti mndende akhale wokongola. Njira yokhayo yothanirana ndi kuthana ndi kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndikufalitsa kwambiri kudziwa kuti palibe chosangalatsa pakukumana ndi matenda omwe amadziwika kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Izi, poyang'ana koyamba, vuto la kugonana, limaphatikizidwa mosavomerezeka ndi kudziwononga koopsa, komwe kumadziwonetsera kunja kwa gawo lazakugonana, chifukwa chimakwirira umunthu wonse. Mdani weniweni wa ogonana amuna kapena akazi si zolakwika zake, koma umbuli wake woti atha kuthandizidwa, kuphatikiza maso ake oganiza, zomwe zimamupangitsa kupewa chithandizo. Umbuli umachirikizidwa ndi atsogoleri achigololo.


Ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhulupirira kuti vuto lake lokha ndilo "maganizo osayenera" a chilengedwe. Akunena kuti ngati atasiyidwa yekha ndipo sakuyeneranso kuopa lamulo, kusalidwa ndi anthu, kulanda kapena kuwonekera, atha kukhala "wosangalala" monga momwe amachitira mosiyana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Izi, ndithudi, chinyengo chodzitonthoza. Kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha si "njira yamoyo," monga momwe anthu odwalawa amakhulupilira mopanda nzeru, koma kusokoneza umunthu wonse. Sizikunena kuti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikutsimikizira thanzi lamalingaliro - ndipo pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha pali ma neurotic ambiri. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, pali amuna omwe ali ndi thanzi labwino, koma palibe amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe ali ndi thanzi labwino. Maonekedwe onse a umunthu wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ali ndi chikhumbo chofuna kuvutika. Chilakolako ichi chimakhutitsidwa ndi kudzipangira mavuto, omwe amatsutsidwa mosavuta ndi zovuta zakunja zomwe ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakumana nazo. Ngati zovuta zakunja zikanachotsedwa kwathunthu, ndipo m'mabwalo ena m'mizinda ikuluikulu amachotsedwadi, wogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha akanakhalabe munthu wodwala maganizo.


Zaka 10 zapitazo, zabwino zomwe sayansi ingapereke ndi kuyanjanitsa kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi "tsogolo" lake, mwa kuyankhula kwina, kuthetsa kudzimva wolakwa. Zomwe zachitika posachedwa azamisala komanso kafukufuku watsimikizira mosapita m'mbali kuti zomwe amati tsogolo silingasinthe la ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (nthawi zina chifukwa cha kusakhalako kwachilengedwe komanso mahomoni) ndiye kugawanika kosinthika kwa neurosis. Kupanda chiyembekezo kwamankhwala am'mbuyomu kukutha pang'onopang'ono: masiku ano psychotherapy ya psychodynamic direction imatha kuchiza kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.


Mabuku aposachedwa komanso zopangidwa poyesera zayesa kufotokoza amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ngati osasangalala omwe akuyenera kuwachitira chifundo. Chidandaulo cha tiziwalo tamatumbo tachuma ndizosathandiza: amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zonse amatha kugwiritsa ntchito chithandizo chamisala ndikuchiritsidwa ngati akufuna. Koma kusazindikira kwa anthu ambiri kuli ponseponse pankhaniyi, ndipo kupusitsa kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha pongoganiza za iwo okha ndiwothandiza kwambiri kwakuti ngakhale anthu anzeru omwe sanabadwe dzulo anagwa chifukwa cha nyambo.


"Nditachita zoposa zaka makumi atatu, ndimaliza kusanthula kwa anthu zana limodzi (mayeso ena makumi atatu adasokonezedwa ndi ine kapena kuchoka kwa wodwalayo), ndikulangiza pafupifupi mazana asanu. Kutengera ndi zomwe takumana nazo motere, ndinganene motsimikiza kuti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuli ndi chidziwitso chabwino kwambiri chothandizira odwala matenda amisala kuyambira chaka chimodzi mpaka ziwiri, magawo atatu pa sabata, ngati wodwalayo akufunadi kusintha. Zowona kuti zotulukapo zabwino siziri zochokera pamitundu iliyonse zimatsimikiziridwa ndikuti chiwerengero chambiri chamagulucho chachita zotsatira zofananazo.


Wachinyamata yemwe sakana akazi, koma amathawa. Mosazindikira, amawopa. Amathawa mzimayi momwe angathere, ndikumapita ku "bara lina" - kupita kwa bambo. Chitsimikizo chofanana ndi chakuti ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuti "alibe chidwi" ndi akazi sichinthu chongopeka chabe. Mkati mwake, amadana ndi akazi omwe amakhala ndi chidani chopanda mantha cha mantha owopa. Izi zikuwonekera pakukambirana kulikonse kochita kafukufuku ndi wodwala yemwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Wogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amatchula amuna kuti amaletsa akazi. Kukwera kwamunthu kupita pachinthu chokopa ndikachiwiri. Kukopa kumene kumakhala kosakanikirana ndi kunyoza. Poyerekeza ndi kunyoza komwe kumagonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo, kudana ndi kunyalanyaza kwa azimayi omwe amadana kwambiri ndi amuna omwe amadana ndi akazi anzawo kumawoneka bwino. Nthawi zambiri umunthu wonse wa "wokonda" umafufutidwa. Maubwenzi ambiri ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amapezeka zimbudzi, zodetsa mapaki komanso malo osambira ku Turkey, komwe chinthu chogonana sichikuwoneka konse. Njira zofananira izi zopezera "kulumikizana" zimapangitsa kuyendera alendo omwe si amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumawoneka ngati kosangalatsa.


Khalidwe logonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zambiri limaphatikizidwa ndi chikhalidwe cha psychopathic. Kugonana kwa amuna okhaokha kulibe vuto lililonse ndi psychopathy - kuphatikirako kumachokera pakukakamiza kwapakamwa. Pamwambapa, machitidwe a psychopathic ali mu malingaliro abodza, komabe, kumbuyo kwa chithunzi chophimbidwa bwino ichi pali zinthu zambiri zodziwononga zomwe sizingabisike mbali yayikulu yaukali.


Kuphatikizika kwa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi chinyengo, kusuta kwa juga, uchidakwa, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kleptomania ndizofala kwambiri.


Ndizodabwitsa kuti kuchuluka kwa chikhalidwe cha psychopathic pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndilotani. M'mawu osavuta, ogonana ambiri amakhala ndi manyazi. Mu psychoanalysis, kusatetezeka uku kumawerengedwa kuti ndi gawo lamlomo wapakati pa amuna okhaokha. Anthu awa nthawi zonse amapanga zochitika zomwe zimapangitsa kuti azikhala osayenerera. Kuwona kupanda chilungamo kumene, komwe kumachitika komanso kupitilizidwa kudzera munjira zawo, kumawapatsa mwayi wokhala mkati mwaukali komanso odana ndi malo awo, komanso kudzimvera chisoni. Ndi chikhalidwe chobwezeretsera ichi chomwe sichikhala chamalingaliro, koma chozindikira kunja kwa dziko chimatcha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuti ndi "osadalirika" komanso osayamika. Ndizosadabwitsa kuti kuchuluka kwa amuna omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi gawo lalikulu bwanji, akatswiri ochita zachiwerewere, onyenga, olakwira amitundu yonse, ogulitsa mankhwala osokoneza bongo, otchova njuga, azondi, ziphuphu, eni a ma brothel, ndi ena otero.


Lesbianism

Matupi a akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi ofanana ndi amphongo: mkangano wosaganizika ndi mayi wapaubwana. Mu gawo la pakamwa (zaka zoyambirira za 1,5), wamisala wopanda ulemu amadutsa zovuta ndi zovuta zingapo ndi amayi ake, zomwe zimalepheretsa kumaliza gawo ili. Chodabwitsa cha kusamvana kwamankhwala achisilamu ndikuti chikuyimira chimango chosamveka: chosakanikirana "chosokonekera", chomwe chimaphimbidwa ndi chidani cha pseudo, chomwe chimaphimbidwa ndi chikondi chokokomeza cha kukonda kwa nthumwi ya chifanizo chanthawi ya mayi (ma neurotiki amatha kungotengeka ndi malingaliro a ersatz ukali wachinyengo!).

Lesbian ndi wamanjenje wokhala ndi vuto lobisala, kupangitsa kukhala koyipa quiroquo, nthabwala kwa wopenyerera wosazindikira. Choyamba, kukondana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, mosadabwitsa, sikutanthauza zolaula, koma wamakani Kusamvana: Maziko m'maganizo neurotic yotsekemera pakamwa ndi mkangano wosasunthika womwe umabweranso ngati boomerang chifukwa chodziimbira mlandu komanso pambuyo pake omasulidwa. Kachiwiri, mothandizidwa ndi ubale wa "Mwamuna ndi Mkazi", maubwenzi amayanjana pakati mwana ndi amayi. Chachitatu, kuperewera kwa zamatsenga kumapereka chithunzi chachilengedwe; woonerera wopanda khungu amachititsidwa khungu ndi kusangalala kwawo, pomwe pansi pake pamakhala vuto laubongo.

Dziko lakunja, mu umbuli wake, limawawona akazi olimba mtima. Komabe, si azimayi onse olimba mtima omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Kumbali inayi, wamisala wakunja wolimba mtima yemwe amatsata amuna mu zovala, machitidwe ndi maubwenzi amangowonetsa kubisa komwe kumabisa vuto lake lenileni. Ochititsidwa khungu ndi scotoma iyi yoperekedwa ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, wongodabwitsayo sangathe kufotokoza za amuna omwe akuchita zachiwerewere kapena zodziwikiratu, zomwe zimawonetsedwa pang'onopang'ono, zimayang'aniridwa mozungulira pakuyamwa ndi kuyamwa kwamabele, komanso maliseche osiyanitsidwa ndi dildos amakhala mozungulira ndi nipple.

Zaka zanga za 30 pazakuchipatala zawonetsa kuti lesbianism ili ndi magawo asanu: 
1) kukondera kwa mayi; 
2) veto chamkati choletsa "chisangalalo chosakondweretsa"; 
3) chitetezo choyamba ndi pseudo-chidani; 
4) veto wobwereza chikumbumtima chamkati, akumabweretsa chidani chamtundu uliwonse kwa mayi; 
5) Chitetezo chachiwiri ndi chikondi cha pseudo.

Chifukwa chake, “lesbianism” si “chikondi cha akazi kwa mkazi”, koma chikondi chabodza cha mayi wopenyerera yemwe adapanga tanthauzo lakale lomwe sakulimvetsa. 
Dongosolo lachitetezo mu lesbianism limafotokoza: 
a. Chifukwa chiyani ochitidwa nkhanza amadziwika ndi mikangano yayikulu komanso nsanje yayikulu. Mu zenizeni zamtunduwu, nsanje yamtunduwu imangokhala gwero la kusonkhanitsa kopanda chilungamo. 
b. Chifukwa chomwe udani wankhanza, womwe nthawi zina umawonetsedwa, umabisidwa kwambiri mu zibwenzi. Dongosolo la pseudo-love (wosanjikiza chachisanu) ndi chophimba chabe ukali wachinyengo
mu Chifukwa chiyani ochita zolaula amatembenukira ku njira ya oedipal camouflage (farce ya mwamuna ndi mkazi) - imayipitsa ubale wamaonedwe a mayi ndi mwana, okhazikika m'mikangano isanachitike ogeipal, olemedwa ndi liwongo.
mu Chifukwa chiyani sizingathandize kuyembekeza zogwirizana ndi anthu pakati pa amuna ndi akazi? Wogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha mosakondwa amangofuna chisangalalo chowoneka chotere, chifukwa chake sangathe kukhala wachimwemwe.

Kukhazikika kwa amuna ndi akazi amafotokozanso chifukwa chake kusamvana kwakanthawi ndi mayi sikumatha. Pansi pa kukula kwabwinobwino, mikangano ndi mayi imathetsedwa ndi mtsikanayo pakugawanika: "chidani" chakale chimakhalabe ndi amayi, gawo la "chikondi" limasinthidwa kupita kwa abambo, ndipo m'malo mwa kukakamira "mwana-mayi" (preedipal gawo) zochitika zazing'ono zazing'ono za oedipal "mwana-mayi-abambo" amapezeka. Amuna achiwerewere amtsogolo amayesanso kuchita zomwezo, koma kuti abwererenso kunkhondo yoyamba. Oedipal "yankho" (palokha gawo losintha lomwe mwanayo amasiya pakukula kwake kwachizolowezi) ndikuti azimayi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amadzibisa ngati chophimba choteteza.

Ndikofunikira kusiyanitsa mitundu iwiri yosazindikira: "kutsogolera" (kutsogolera) ndi "kutsogolera" (kusokeretsa). Loyamba likuyimira zikhumbo zomwe zimaponderezedwa ndi munthu, zimayesedwa pakumaliza kwa nkhondo yayikulu, ndipo chachiwiri chikutanthauza kuzindikira anthu omwe asankhidwa kukana chikumbumtima chamkati motsutsana ndi izi. Chizindikiro "chotsogolera" cha mtundu wogwira ntchito ya amuna kapena akazi okhaokha chimatanthauzanji preedipal amayi ndi "kutsogoza" kwa oedipal bambo. Mu mtundu wongozindikira, chizindikiritso cha "kutsogolera" chikutanthauza mwana, ndi "kutsogolera" ku oedipal mayi. Zonsezi pamwambapa ndizachidziwikire, zothandizidwa ndi umboni wazachipatala.

Kuwonjezera:

E. Bergler: Chithandizo cha Kugonana Amuna Kapena Akazi Okhaokha

Malingaliro a 4 pa "Kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha: matenda kapena moyo?"

  1. Nkhani yodabwitsa. Zambiri zomwe zikunenedwa pano, ndimazimvetsetsa. M'malo mwake, ndimapewa kulumikizana ndi anthu awa, koma nthawi zina ndimafunikabe kukumana nawo. Izi ziyenera kudziwika kwa anthu onse wamba. Kusayang'ana pamachitidwe awa ndi kupha anthu onse.

  2. Gay ndi mbozi ndipo ziyenera kuthetsedwa m'misasa yachibalo. TUMWI MTIMA KWA YESU, MPULUMUTSI WATHU WA ABWINO NDI AMUNA!

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