Kocharyan Garnik Surenovich, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Pulofesa wa department of Sexology, Medical Psychology, Medical and Psychological Rehabilitation of the Kharkov Medical Academy. adapereka buku la "Shame and Loss of Attachment. Kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala obwezeretsa pochita ". Wolembayo ndi m'modzi mwa akatswiri odziwika komanso odziwika padziko lonse lapansi pantchito yobwezeretsa, woyambitsa National Association for Study and Treatment of Homosexuality (NARTH) - Dr. Bukuli lidasindikizidwa koyamba ku United States ku 2009 pamutu woti "Manyazi ndi Kutayika Kwachipangizo: Ntchito Yothandiza Yothandizira Othandizira".

Mu buku lake, Dr. Nicolosi akufotokozera ngati chithandizo chogwiritsa ntchito amuna osagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi chovomerezeka. Malingaliro ake, chikhumbo cha akatswiri ena kuti aletse zovomerezeka mwanjira imeneyi ndizosemphana ndi chikhumbo cha kusiyanasiyana komwe kunena kwamakono. Zowonadi, wodwala yemwe ali ndi vuto lokonda kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo ndipo akufuna kuti amuchotsere ali ndi ufulu kulandira thandizo loyenera, chifukwa ngati sichoncho ndiye kuti ndikuphwanya ufulu wa anthu.

Malingaliro omwe amafalitsidwa ndi maphwando omwe akufuna kuti kutembenuza (kusinthanso zogonana, kusinthanitsa, kusiyanitsa), komwe sikunayendetsedwe bwino osagwirizana, chifukwa kuyenera kuti sikungakhale kothandiza ndipo, koposa pamenepo, ndizolakwika. Izi, makamaka, zikuwonetsedwa ndi zotsatira za kafukufuku woyamba wokonzedwa mwakapangidwe kabwino ka mphamvu ya kutembenuka mtima (kuyesedwa ndi anthu a 882), zomwe zikusonyeza kuti 45% ya omwe amadziona kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha adasinthiratu zogonana kapena kukhala amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kapena adakula amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuposa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (J. Nicolosi, 2000). Zomwe takumana nazo pantchito yathu ya chipatala, komanso akatswiri ena ambiri, zikuwonetsanso kuyenera kwa kutembenuka kwa mankhwala.

Dr. Nicolosi akunena kuti kuyang’ana moona mtima mkhalidwe wa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumasonyeza kuti, ngakhale popanda kulingalira zotulukapo zake zambiri zoipa kwa anthu, sikuli chisonyezero chosavulaza cha kusiyana kwa anthu, koma mkhalidwe wodziŵika ndi kusokonezeka maganizo. Mosiyana ndi malingaliro akuti mavuto onse am'maganizo a amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amalumikizidwa ndi kusagwirizana ndi anthu, wolembayo akuwonetsa kukhalapo kwa zovuta zomwe zimachokera kudziko logonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Monga umboni, akuwonetsa kuti kuchuluka kwamavuto amisala pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikunachepe m'mizinda yokonda amuna kapena akazi okhaokha monga San Francisco kapena mayiko olekerera amuna kapena akazi okhaokha monga Netherlands ndi Denmark.

Pali njira zambiri zophatikizira zifukwa zomwe zingakopeke ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo. Munthawi zonse, zinthu izi zimaphatikizana mwanjira zawo. Njira yomwe mlembiyu akufuna kuti apange kukopa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha imayang'ana pa zozizwitsa zamtundu wa (kukwiya), koma mochuluka kwambiri polephera kwa makolo kusunga komwe mnyamatayo akutuluka. Udindo wina umaseweredwa ndi zoyipa zomwe amachita ndi anzanu omwe si amuna kapena akazi anzawo. Zonsezi zimabweretsa kumverera kwachinyengo kuchokera kwa amuna, momwe mwana yemwe amakopeka ndi kugonana kwake, amawona amuna ena kukhala osamvetsetseka komanso osiyana naye.

Dr. Nicholas akuti pagulu la amuna ena, amuna ambiri ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha samva bwino, ndipo zifukwa zake zimatha kupezeka ali mwana. Izi ndichifukwa chakutalikirana ndi abambo, komwe amakhala kuti amakula amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndipo amakhala ozika mizu pakukopa kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Amuna omwe ali ndi chilakolako chofuna kugonana amuna ndi akazi amafuna kuyanjana ndi amuna ena, popeza amafunafuna kuchiritsidwa ku bala lomwe bambo wawo adawavulaza. Amakhala akusakasaka nthawi zonse maubwenzi apamtima ndi abambo, koma nthawi yomweyo amawopa maubwenzi awa. Kwa bambo yemwe akuyesera kuthana ndi vuto lake logonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ndikofunikira kukhazikitsa ndikulitsa ubale wathanzi la abambo. Wolemba amakhulupirira kuti kukhala pachibwenzi ndi abambo omwe amakhala ndi chidwi ndi wodwala kumapereka mwayi waukulu wochira.

Nthawi zambiri, kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumayesa kubwezeretsa ubale wokhala ndi bambo. Kusowa kwachikondicho kumathetsedwa ndi zochitika zogonana, zoganiza, komanso malingaliro. Koma sikuti zonse zimangokhala chifukwa chodana ndi mwana wamwamuna. Nthawi zambiri, kusowa kwa chikondi kumazikidwa m'mavuto osintha mu "mayi-mwana". Kuchita bwino kwa kubwezeretsanso kwamankhwala kumapangidwanso pogwiritsa ntchito njira zomwe zimawunika mavuto oyamba a kudzipereka kwa amayi ndi mwana.

M'mutu woperekedwa ku uphungu wa achinyamata ndi zochitika zapadera za kuwongolera kwawo, Dr. Nicolosi akufotokoza za chikoka choyipa cha chikhalidwe cha anthu pakupanga chidziwitso cha amuna ndi akazi komanso malangizo a chilakolako chogonana. Tikukamba za kuwonjezeka kwa chiwerengero cha ophunzira omwe amadziona ngati amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kapena amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, komanso kuwonjezeka kwa achinyamata omwe ali ndi vuto la kugonana kwawo. Chiwerengero cha otuluka nawonso chikuwonjezeka mosalekeza. Amagwirizanitsa izi ndi kutchuka kowonjezereka kwa "gayism" ngati chinthu chowoneka bwino komanso chodziwika bwino.

Mu buku lake, Dr. Nicholas amakhala ndi zigawo zinayi zakudziwika komwe kumagwirizana ndi zaka zina, komanso zazikulu pregender и postgender kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, komwe kumatsimikiziridwa, mu 80 ndi 20% ya milandu.

Mtundu woyamba wa mapangidwe umalumikizidwa ndi psychodynamics ya banja. Malingaliro ake, banja lomwe "limapanga mwana wamwamuna wamwamuna kapena wamkazi" silimalephera kutsimikizira mnyamatayo pakudzimenya kwake. (Kudzizindikiritsa ndikumanganso kwa psychology yowunikira, zomwe zikuwonetsa chitukuko cha anthu kudzera pakuphatikizidwa kwazidziwitso komanso zokumana nazo.) Mu ntchito yake, Dr. Nicholas nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi mtundu wina wabanja, womwe umaphatikiza mitundu iwiri yomwe imaphwanya ulemu wa jenda - banja lachitatu komanso banja lachiwerewere. Onsewa amapanga zomwe amadzitcha banja lachitatu-narcissistic.

Banja lachitatu ndi machitidwe omwe amaphatikiza mayi wophunzitsa kwambiri komanso bambo wovuta / wokhumudwitsidwa. Potengera umunthu wa mwana wamwamuna mu banja lotere, Nicolosi amamufotokozera kuti ndi wooneka bwino, wamantha, woganiza bwino, wopanga komanso woganiza. Amayi amakhulupirira kuti poyerekeza ndi ana awo aamuna, ana awa ali ndi chidwi chambiri komanso achikondi, luso lolankhula komanso chizolowezi chofuna kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa kanthu. Tikutsimikizira kuti ngakhale kupsa mtima kumakhala kotsimikizika kwachilengedwenso, zina mwazomwezi (makamaka manyazi ndi kuzengereza) zitha kupezeka. Mkhalidwe wowoneka bwino ndi wodabwitsa wa mwana amalimbikitsa mayi kuti ayanjane ndi iye, zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti akule bwino asanabadwe bwino. Ubale pakati pa bambo ndi mwana wake suwonjezera. Mnyamatayo amawona kuti abambo ake ndi osungika komanso ovuta, palibe kumvetsetsana komanso kuyanjana bwino pakati pawo, zomwe zimayambitsa kuphwanya kwamwana wa kudziwika kwa amuna kapena akazi. Amawawona abambo ngati chosaopsa / chosayenera kuzindikiritsa. Odwala a Nicolosy nthawi zambiri amati: "Sindimamvetsetseka bambo anga." "Zomwe anali, zomwe sanali." "Nthawi zonse amangokhala otsika." "Sanathe kukhala ngati chipilala."

Chinthu chotsatirachi chimathandizanso pankhaniyi. Popeza mayi amasiyanitsa mwana wawo wamwamuna ndi oyimira amuna ena, chifukwa cha mawonekedwe ake amisala, omwe, mwa lingaliro lake, amamupanga iye kukhala wabwino kuposa abambo ena, safunikira kukwaniritsa umuna kuti atenge malo ake kudziko lapansi. Zochitika "Ine ndi mayi anga tikutsutsana ndi tizirombo tankhanzazi tankhanza" zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosatheka kudzipatula mnyamatayo (zomwe zimapangitsa kuti azisemphana ndi zina), zomwe zimamulepheretsa kupeza mphamvu zoyenera zofunikira kwa iye. Zotsatira zake ndi kufunitsitsa kwamnyamata chifukwa cha gawo lodziwika bwino lomwe, lomwe silingathe kukhazikitsa. Amayamba kumuyang'ana "kwinakwake" m'chifanizo cha mwamuna wina, akumadzimva wachikondi, yemwe kenako amakhala ndi malingaliro osayenera.

Pakuwona udindo wa makolo pakupanga amuna, Nicolosi akuti mwana wathanzi amadziwa ndikusangalala kuti "sikuti ine ndine", komanso kuti "Ndine mwana". Nthawi zina, makolo amamulanga kaamba ka machitidwe a amuna chifukwa amamuwona ngati wowopsa kapena wosavomerezeka. Nthawi zina, mwana wamwamuna akabadwa ndi vuto losakhazikika, samayesa kudziwika kuti ndi wamwamuna, yemwe mnyamatayo amafunikira chithandizo chapadera. Kuti atsimikizire malingaliro ake, Dr. Nicolosi amatanthauza mawu a Stoller kuti ukazitape ndi wopambana, osati wopatsidwa. Amakhala pachiwopsezo chamavuto amisala omwe amachitika pa nthawi yopanga komanso kupanga amuna.

Mnyamata woyamba wa abambo awiri, a Dr. Nicolosi, amakumana ndi phwando laubwenzi ndi kholo lililonse mosiyanasiyana. Nthawi zambiri amamva kuti bambo ake akumunyalanyaza kapena akumunyoza, ndipo amayi ake akumam'nyengerera kapena kumugwiritsa ntchito. Makolo onse awiri, m'njira zawo, momwe angathere, amakonda mwana, koma polankhulana pamlingo winawake amawonetsa kuti "Ine" wake ndi wosavomerezeka mwanjira iliyonse.

Kutayika kwakukonda kotereku kumamvedwa ndi mwana yemwe wakula machitidwe apabanja opindulitsa-katatu, zosowa zake zosafunikira zimatsalira, ndipo izi zimasungidwa kukumbukira kukumbukira thupi. Zotsatira zake, zotsatirazi zimapangidwa:

1) kutaya kofunikira koyambira;
2) chifukwa cha kuchepa kwa jenda;
3) kulipira zolakwika za jenda kudzera muzochita za amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, akulemba G. Nicolosi, ndi njira yodzitetezera ku kulira chifukwa chotaya ubale wapamtima ndi m'modzi wa makolo. Kugwira ntchito polira maliro kudzakumana ndi zopeka ndi zosokoneza, zida ziwiri zamphamvu. Zinyengo ndi malingaliro abodza abodza omwe amayendetsedwa ndi ukatswiri. Chitsanzo cha chinyengo chenicheni ndi mawu akuti: "Ndikufuna mkazi wokongola kwambiri yemwe amazindikira zosowa zanga ndipo amandimvetsetsa. Ndikangopeza imodzi pomwe ndidzakhala wokonzeka kukwatiwa. " Mosiyana ndi izi, zopotoza ndi malingaliro abodza olakwika potengera manyazi. Amachokera kuzinthu zowonongekazo ndikupita kumakhalidwe owononga, odziwononga komanso owonongera. Chitsanzo cha zosokoneza ndi mawu otsatirawa: "Palibe mtsikana amene angandifune ngati andidziwa bwino."

Ngati malingaliro olakwika ndi zomwe zimayambira muukadaulo wamwana zikadapanda kulimbikitsidwa, ndiye kuti pali chinyengo chamkati. Popeza adakumana ndi zosasangalatsa komanso kumva kupweteka m'thupi pamaso pa ochiritsa, wodwalayo amayamba kumva bwino. Chifukwa chofufuza mobwerezabwereza zachisoni, kuwononga pang'onopang'ono komanso pang'ono pang'ono kwa maziko osagonana osagwirizana ndi wodwalayo kumachitika, komwe kumayamba kuzimiririka.

Pambuyo pa mchitidwe wachisoni, atero a J. Nicolosi, odwala amamvetsetsa bwino anthu omwe asintha moyo wawo wakale. Kuchita izi sikuti kumangotsegula maso awo kwa mamembala ofunikira, koma kumawaphunzitsanso kuti azichita nawo chidwi ndi munthu wamkulu yemwe amakana chilimbikitso chomwe anali nacho kale kuti anthu omwe adalowa mwachindunji ali ndi moyo wabwino kapena woipa kuposa zilidi. Zotsatira za njirayi ndikukana kukhudzika komwe sikumadziwa kuti aliyense ali ndi ngongole, kuti anthu omwe ali ndi moyo uno amakakamizidwa kulipira madandaulo anu akale. Kuchotsa kwachisoni kumatha munthu atatha kusiya zinyengo ndi zosokoneza zomwe adazigwiritsa ntchito kubisala kupweteka kwa kutayika. Pambuyo pa chisoni, atha kukhala ndi moyo wowona mtima, wowonekera komanso wowona.

Wolemba amakhala ndi mawonekedwe achiwonetsero chachiwiri (mtundu wotsatira wa jenda) motere. Iye akuti wodwala yemwe anali wamkazi pambuyo pa amuna ndi akazi adakwaniritsa bwino gawo la kudziwika kwa jenda, koma pambuyo pake adakumana ndi mtundu wina wazovuta womwe chikhumbo cha homoerotic chidakhala chowongolera. Okhala ndi mawonekedwe achimuna ndi chikhalidwe chosakhala chachikazi, odwala awa amawoneka ngati "owongoka," koma panthawi imodzimodziyo akusowa chikondi chosamvetseka. Kuvulala kwa postgender nthawi zambiri kumayamba chifukwa cha mchimwene wamkulu, bambo, anzawo achiwawa komanso ozunza anzawo kusukulu. Zitha kukhalanso chifukwa chogwiriridwa kapena chifukwa cha mayi "wopanda vuto" yemwe adayambitsa mantha komanso mkwiyo, womwe wodwalayo amamufotokozera azimayi onse komanso zomwe zimamulepheretsa kukhazikitsa ubale wamphamvu ndi iwo. Amuna awa amawoneka ngati "anyamata wamba", koma sakayikira kuti ndi amuna kapena amuna. Kukopa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikumayendetsedwa ndi chikhumbo chokhala ndi machitidwe a amuna ena, koma ndi mtima wofuna kuthetsa nkhawa chifukwa chothandizidwa ndi abambo, zomwe zimachepetsa nkhawa zawo.

Wolemba uja akusimba zakusintha kwa malingaliro ake pankhani yogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Ngati m'mbuyomu amakhulupirira kuti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi njira ina yobwezeretsanso vuto la kudziwika kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi, tsopano akuwona kuti ndichinthu china: pamlingo wokulira, ndichodzitchinjiriza kumavuto akulu omwe amadza chifukwa cha kutayika kwa ubwenzi. Chowonadi cha lingaliro ili, akuti, chatsimikiziridwa kangapo ndi amuna omwe adawafunsa. Kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumapangitsa kuti anthu azimva kuwawa kwambiri ndipo kumakhala ngati kusokonezedwa kwakanthawi (ngakhale komwe sikungakwaniritse) ku zovuta zomwe zimadza chifukwa chakusokonekera. Kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, malinga ndi kumvetsetsa kwake, ndi njira yobwezera (kubwezeretsa), komwe ndikuyesa kusazindikira. Kudzera mwa kukopeka ndi kugonana kwake, mwamuna amayesa kukwaniritsa zosowa zosakhudzidwa zakusamalidwa, kukondedwa, kuvomerezedwa ndi omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, komanso kuti athetse kuchepa kwa kudziwika kuti ndi wamkazi.

Maulosi Vyachedlav Khalansky, katswiri wama zamaganizo ndi wama psychologist.

Unikani Robert Perloff, Purezidenti wakale wa American Psychological Association, pulofesa wotchuka pa Yunivesite ya Pittsburgh.

Unikani prof. Bilobrivki R. I, Mutu wa Dipatimenti ya Psychiatry, Psychology ndi Sexology, Lviv National Medical University Daniil wa ku Galitsky.

Unikani Hermann Hartfeld, DRS, Theol., PhD.

Unikani Wofunsidwa ndi Sayansi ya Pedagogical, Wothandizira Pulofesa Galina V. Katolik, Mtsogoleri wa Dipatimenti ya Psychology ndi Psychotherapy ku Ukraine Yunivesite ya Ukraine, Purezidenti wa Chiyukireniya cha Ana ndi Achinyamata Psychotherapy ndi Uphungu wa Banja, membala wa EAP.

Unikani Taras Nikolaevich Dyatlik, Wapampando wa Board of the International Council for Evangelical Theological Education, Director of overseas Council Int. kwa Euro-Asia, wamkulu wa dipatimenti yopititsa patsogolo maphunziro ku Euro-Asia Accreditation Association.

Unikani Elena Yaremko, dotolo wa zama psychology, psychotherapist (wophatikiza ma psychotherapy achikristu); Chiyukireniya Catholic University.

Unikani Kocharyan Garnik Surenovich, MD, pulofesa wa Department of Sexology, Medical Psychology, Medical and Psychological Regency of Kharkov Medical Academy of Postgraduate Education

Zambiri zokhudzana ndi wolemba, zolemba zake komanso mabuku (pagulu lachiwonetsero) zimawonetsedwa patsamba lake  http://gskochar.narod.ru

Komanso

Nkhondo yanthawi zonse - Gerard Aardweg

Kodi zokopa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha zimapangidwa bwanji?