Zinthu zambiri pansipa zimasindikizidwa mu lipoti la kafukufuku. "Zosangalatsa za mayanjano ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha molingana ndi mfundo za sayansi". do:10.12731/978-5-907208-04-9, ISBN 978-5-907208-04-9

Mau oyamba

Chimodzi mwazomwe amatsenga a "LGBT" ndichakuti mgwirizano wa ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi omwe amatchedwa. "Mabanja ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha" - akuti siosiyana ndi mabanja omwe si amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe amakhala ndi chikhalidwe chamawonekedwe. Chithunzi chomwe chili pofalitsa nkhani ndichakuti maubwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi athanzi, okhazikika komanso achikondi monga abwenzi omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kapenanso kuposa iwo. Chithunzichi sichowona, ndipo ambiri oimira gulu la amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amavomereza moona mtima. Anthu omwe amagonana omwe amakhala ogonana amakhala pachiwopsezo chotenga matenda opatsirana pogonana, kuvulala thupi, kusokonezeka m'maganizo, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kudzipha komanso kuchitira nkhanza okondedwa wawo. Nkhaniyi ikufotokoza zinthu zitatu zomwe zimagwirizana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi omwe ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo.
• zachiwerewere;
• maubale osakhalitsa komanso osakhala amodzi;
• Kuchuluka kwa ziwawa mothandizana.

Zamkatimu:

LONJEZO
SEX MU ZINSINSI ZA Boma
"GAY SAUNAS"
NTHAWI ZONSE ZA OGANIZIRA
KUGWANITSA
KUGWIRA NTCHITO NDIPONSO ZOSAVUTA ZA Mgwirizano
KUGWIRITSA NTCHITO MPANDA

Zotsatira Zofunikira

(1) M'mabanja ogonana ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, makamaka amuna, pali gawo logonana kwambiri kuposa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.
(2) Kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi "maukwati" amakhala ogonana "kotseguka" - amalola kugonana kunja kwa banja.
(3) Nthawi zambiri, maubwenzi omwe amagonana amuna okhaokha kapena akazi okhaokha ndi omwe amakhala ndi mabanja ofupikirapo kwambiri kuposa maukwati omwe si amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.
(4) Mibadwo ya ziwawa mu maubwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, makamaka akazi, ndiochuluka kuposa anthu omwe si amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Chiwerewere

Pazakugonana pakati pa abambo, chiwerewere ndi chinthu chofala komanso chofunikira kwambiri pakufalikira kwa matenda opatsirana pogonana. Kutengedwa ndi amuna ogonana ndi "amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha" komanso kukhala nawo pagulu la "LGBT" kumakulitsa kudziletsa kwake (Van de ven xnumx) Mtolankhani wodziwika bwino wa gay a Randy Shilts adalembachiwerewere chimenecho "Kodi pachiwonetsero cha gayida choyipa cha 70's" (Ma Shilts 1987). Wolemba amuna kapena akazi okhaokha Gabriel Rotello adalemba kuti gulu la "gay" limakhazikitsidwa:

"... kukonda zachiwerewere komanso kupatuka pa zamtunduwu kumatanthawuza chiwembu pamlingo waukulu ..." (Rotello 1998)

Chilakolako, sodomy, phalluses, ndi kuwonetsa zolaula zachiwerewere ndi anthu ambiri ogonana nawo ndizomwe zimatsogolera m'mabuku ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, siteji, zojambulajambula, ndi zojambulajambula zina.

Chithunzichi pamakoma a chimbudzi cha anthu ku New York chidachitidwa ndi nyenyezi yaku America yaku Keith Haring polemekeza chikondwerero cha 20 cha zipolowe za Stonewall. Pasanathe chaka, wolemba zaluso, anafotokoza momwe "Msonkho kwa masiku osasangalatsa achigololo" и "Kupambana kwakukulu pakati pa amuna ndi akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha"anamwalira ndi AIDS ali ndi zaka 31.

Mliri wa Edzi womwe udayambika kumayambiriro kwa 1980 kokha unachepetsa kuchepa kwa kugonana kwa amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ndipo ngakhale pamenepo kwakanthawi kochepa. Kulekerera kwapagulu kwa anthu wamba ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso kupanga mankhwala othandizira kupewa ndi kupewa Edzi zathandizira kuti ayambenso kuchuluka, komwe tsopano kwathandizidwa kwambiri ndi malo ambiri ochezerana ndi mafoni.

"Grindr" ndi malo otchuka kwambiri a geo-application, omwe amalola GPS kudziwa mtunda womwe angagwire. Chizindikiro chake choyambirira, chokumbukira za chizindikiro “Osalowamo” kapena “Chenjerani poizoni”, modzilemekeza, chikuwonetsa kuti ntchito zomwe amapereka zimatha kukhala pangozi. Monga tikuwonetsera kuphunzira, pafupifupi 50% ya ogwiritsa ntchito izi sagwiritsa ntchito makondomu. Gwiritsani ntchito yogwira ntchito achifwamba, achifwamba ndi ambanda opulula. Wolemba amuna kapena akazi okhaokha Gary Lambert adanenakuti palibe wamkazi wa 50 wazaka chimodzi yemwe sangadziwe kuti munthu m'modzi waphedwa pa nthawi yangozi. Malinga ndi a Lambert, kufunitsitsa kwamphamvu pogonana kumapangitsa chidwi cha "amuna" ogonana, "ndipo kwa ambiri mwa iwo cholinga chachikulu m'moyo ndi:

"... Kutengera momwe amakhumbira zilakolako zawo ndikukhala pachibwenzi ndi amuna ena. Chiwopsezo chotenga kachirombo ka HIV chimangolimbitsa zokhumba zawo, chifukwa ngozi ikakhala yayikulu, chidwi chimakhala chowopsa "Lambert 1993).

Zomwe a Lambert anena zikugwirizana ndi zomwe Purezidenti wakale wa American Psychological Association, a Nicholas Cummings, omwe amayang'anira chipatala ku San Francisco:

“M'magulu ogonana amuna ndi akazi, zogonana zinali zotseguka komanso zachilendo; inali njira yayikulu yolumikizirana. Madzulo, aliyense adapita kukafunafuna kugonana ku Buena Vista Park, ndipo zinali zoyenera, popeza aliyense anali pamenepo chifukwa cha izo. Kugonana kosadziwika kunasandulika kukhala fetish. M'mazaka amenewo, zinali zovuta kupeza chimbudzi cha amuna popanda dzenje khoma la kanyumbako. Panali malo ena apadera mumakanema azakugonana komwe alendo amatsamira amawonera makanema olaula, ndipo nthawi imeneyo munthu wina amalowa mnyumba, anagonana ndi anal ndipo adamsiya, ndipo samadziwa kuti ndi ndani. Zinali zotchuka kwambiri.
Panali mipiringidzo pomwe alendo ankangovala zovala zapafupipafupi (miyendo yachikopa yokhala ndi poyambira), ndiye kuti, anali amaliseche. M'malo ena panali malo osambiramo, ndipo munthu amatha kukwera m'makomo, pomwe ena ankawakungatira. Zinali zofala kwambiri.
Ku San Francisco, padali njanji yosiyidwa, pomwe usiku mumdima wathunthu ophatikizana adapezeka akugwira. Akapha munthu kumeneko, zinali mu nkhani, ndipo mukuganiza bwanji? - Chiwerengero cha alendo chawonjezeka nthawi ya 4.
Ndinali ndi odwala omwe sanathe kugona ndi mnzake yemweyo kawiri. Ndinachezedwanso ndi odwala omwe anali atatopa ndi chiyanjano chakanthawi. Maubwenzi ambiri ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhala pafupifupi miyezi ya 3. Aliyense akutanganidwa kufunafuna "ameneyo". Ndinkaseka odwala, kuwauza kuti akafufuza aganiza zogona ndi mzinda wonse, apo ayi sipadzakhala chotsimikizika kuti sanaphonye "ameneyo", ndikuseka, nati: "Koma mwamvetsetsa bwino, doc" "(Cummings xnumx).

Woyambitsa mabungwe achimuna ku USA, Harry Haye, adati kuyanjana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha m'malo opezeka anthu ambiri kapena m'malo amtundu wa "ufulu wa anthu" ndipo kuyesa konse kuletsa kuphwanya malamulo aboma ndi "apolisi mwankhanza" ndi "kuponderezana" (Jennings xnumx).

Achinyamata achi Gay a Kirk ndi Madsen, omwe amafotokoza za machitidwe a amuna kapena akazi okhaokha m'buku "After The Ball"Lembani izi:

"Mwina njira yoyipa kwambiri yachiwerewere ndiyo kugonana pagulu ... Ngakhale akuluakulu akuyesera kuthana ndi izi, gulu logonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha limapitilizabe usana ndi usiku kuti achite chimodzi mwazinthu zoopsa kwambiri zachiwerewere (nthawi zambiri pamaso pa anthu owongoka) m'malo achimbudzi, m'mapaki ndi m'mabwalo mizinda ikuluikulu yonse ku United States. Anthuwa samayesetsa kuti azigwira ntchito zachinsinsi, ngakhale atadikirira kuti alendo abwere. Komabe, kwa ambiri, kuthekera kuti agwidwa ndi manja ndi magawo atatu a chisangalalo. Amaseweretsa maliseche mumikodzo, amayenda mozungulira maliseche mchipindamo, ndipo amagwera wina ndi mnzake m'malo osokonekera m'misasa yotseguka. Akatsanulira umuna - pampando wa chimbudzi, pamakoma kapena pansi - amawasiya atazira pamenepo m'matope onyansa komanso ozindikirika mosavuta ... amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhulupirira kuti ali ndi ufulu wonse wopita kuzimbudzi ndi m'mapaki, ngati kuti analengedwa ngati bwalo lamasewera ogonana. Ena amapita mpaka kukwiya ndi alendo omwe, kamodzi ku Roma, safuna kuchita ngati Aroma ... Atolankhani achiwerewere amatsutsa ndemanga zilizonse zonena kuti anthu abwinobwino ndi malingaliro oyipa, ndikutsutsa zoyesayesa za apolisi kuti athetse zodabwitsazi. ngati 'kuzunza amuna kapena akazi okhaokha' ... " (Kirk ndi Madsen 1990).

Mu 1978, wosewera wosewera waku America a Larry Kramer, yemwe amadziwika ndi zomwe amakonda, analemba buku lotchedwa Homosexual¹, zomwe zidadzetsa chimphepo chamkwiyo cha LGBT + activists - mayendedwewo ngakhale kufuna kuti aletse (Baim xnumx) Ndipo zonse chifukwa choti bukuli, monga Kramer mwiniwake adanenera, zidawonetsa zenizeni zenizeni zakugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Bukuli limachitika m'makalabu apadera ndi ma saunas, omwe amalamulidwa ndi chiwerewere, zolaula zachisoni ndi kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Pakuwonetsa buku lake, Kramer adati:

"... Chowopsa ndichiti ndidatani? Ndanena zowona ndalemba. Kodi ndinatani? Ndangonena zowonatu kwa aliyense yemwe ndimamudziwa ... "(Baim xnumx).

Kenako, m'nkhani yofalitsidwa m'magazini ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha "The Advocate," Kramer analemba izi:

“Edzi pakati pa amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikuti ikupita ... Simungachite zibwenzi mosasankha ndi amuna kapena akazi angapo omwe amachita zomwezo osafalitsa matenda omwe akhala akupha kwazaka zambiri. Zachilengedwe nthawi zonse zimalipira mtengo wapa chiwerewere ... Tiyenera kukhazikitsa chikhalidwe chatsopano chomwe sichoperewera kwambiri ndipo chimangoganizira zokonda zathu ndi zomwe timachita nawo. " (Kramer 1997)

"Gay saunas"

Ngakhale chitukuko cha intaneti, otchedwa. "Gay saunas", omwe apezeka kuti cholinga chopezetsa anthu osadziwika komanso adathandizira kufalikira kwa kachilombo ka HIV, akupitilira kuyenda bwino m'mizinda yayikulu. Kafukufuku wa 2003 pachaka adawonetsa kuti oposa 30% ya amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amapezeka pamalo awa ndi anthu wamba ogonana ndi anthu a 27 pachaka (Wood xnumx) M'mdima wochepa wa imodzi ya "seunas" iyi, patatha zaka zitatu atazindikira kuti ali ndi vuto mpaka kufa kwake, adagonana osadziteteza. 250 zibwenzi pachaka Gaetan Duga, yomwe yakhala imodzi mwazofunika kwambiri pofalitsa kachilombo ka HIV ku United States. Umo ndi momwe amafotokoza "Gay sauna" yemwe anali amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha a Joseph Schiambra, omwe adagwirizana ndi zomwe adagwirizana nazo ndikuchotsa gawo lake ndipo adatsala pang'ono kufa:

"Kapangidwe kake kamakhala ndi zigawo zingapo zosamvetseka zomwe zidayamba kuda pomwe timapita mozama. Zokongoletserazo zinali ndi zithunzi zonse zachimuna: chrome yopukutidwa, zokutira zakuda vinyl ndi zojambula zolimbitsa thupi. Madera akutsogolo anali atsatanetsatane kwambiri, kumbuyo kwake kunali zipinda zopanda kanthu zopakidwa zakuda. Kukanidwa kunalipo, koma kunali kochenjera, ndipo aliyense, ngakhale okalamba komanso okalamba, amatha kupeza wokwatirana naye. Pomaliza, panali amuna obisalira m'zipinda zakumbuyo omwe amafunikira thupi lamwamuna lokha lomwe magazi akuyenda m'mitsempha yake. Ndinachoka mchipinda chosambiramo ndikupita ku gawo lalikulu lopangidwira ma kettle ndi mabenchi osiyanasiyana ophunzitsira. Mfuti zam'makoma zimafanana ndi malo ogulitsira makina kapena garaja. Sindingathe kufotokoza mwachidule zofananira ndi mawonekedwe amunthu. Patsogolo sindinathe kupanga benchi yaying'ono yamakona owala pang'ono, yomwe, ngati pansi pake, yokutidwa ndi zinthu zakuda. Atatsamira pa benchi, amuna angapo amaliseche adagwada. Sindinathe kuwona mitu yawo kapena nkhope zawo, koma matako awo okwera. Ndinayima osayenda kwa masekondi angapo. Nachi. Ndafika pachimake pa zikhumbo zanga zazikulu. Mapeto enieni a gay aliyense ndi kugwada, kufalitsa matako, ndikuyembekeza kuti amuna ena awonekera. "Sciambra xnumx).

Ma Shilts приводит 1982 Center for Disease Control (CDC) 50 kafukufuku wa ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha wapezeka GRID (poyamba ankatchedwa Edzi). Zidapezeka kuti pafupifupi anthu omwe amagonana nawo mwa odwala anali anthu 1100, ndipo odwala angapo adanenapo anthu 20. Pafupifupi anthu omwe amagonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe alibe matenda anali 000. A Shilts amafotokoza za chiwerewere chomwe chafala kwambiri pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha chifukwa chosowa mphamvu za amayi komanso kuchuluka kwa testosterone:

"Palibe chilichonse chazomwe zimagona amuna zomwe zitha kupititsa patsogolo miyambo yaimuna, yopezeka kuti yaledzera monga munthu wina aliyense wamkazi yemwe sanaganizirepo. Zachiwerewere zili ponseponse, chifukwa mzaka zokhala amuna okhaokha, palibe amene angakane. Palibe amene ali ndi gawo lofanana lofanana ndi la mayi yemwe amakhala pachiwerewere. Amuna ena omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amavomereza kuti angasangalale ndi malingaliro ogonana osavuta, opezeka, ngakhale osadziwika omwe amaperekedwa ndi amuna gay ngati angapeze azimayi ofunitsitsa kutero. Zachinyamata, zimagwirizana, nthawi zambiri. ” (Ma Shilts 1987)

Pachithunzi cha kanema pansipa, wodwala yemwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha akudandaula kuti anali ndi zibwenzi za 50 usiku umodzi

Nayi vumbulutso Kirk ndi Madsen apereka:

"Tikiti yokhayo yokhudzana ndi kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndikukopa chidwi, koma ngakhale izi sizingakupulumutseni kukhumudwitsidwa ... Atafika mumzinda, adapeza kuti pali chinthu chimodzi chokha chomwe moyo wa amuna okhaokha umayang'ana pa: f * l ... Munthu akamakhala wachinyamata komanso wosadziwa zambiri, maubwenzi osavuta a "vanila" - kukumbatirana ndi kuseweretsa maliseche - ndizokwanira kwa iye. Izi ndi zatsopano, zoletsedwa, zauve, komanso zosangalatsa. Popita nthawi, vanila kugonana ndi mnzake amakhala chizolowezi, chabwinobwino komanso chotopetsa, ndipo amasiya kuthekera kwadzutsa. Poyamba, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha onyentchera amayang'ana zatsopano mwa anzawo, kukhala achiwerewere kwambiri komanso achiwerewere. Pomaliza matupi onse amakhala otopetsa kwa iye, ndipo amayamba kuyang'ana chisangalalo mumachitidwe atsopano. Amayesa kubwezeretsa chisangalalo cha erectile kudzera pazonyansa komanso zoletsedwa zokhudzana ndi kugonana, monga fetishism, urolagnia, coprophilia, ndi zina zambiri. " (Kirk ndi Madsen 1990).

Mlingo wa zachiwerewere zomwe tafotokozazi pamwambapa zimagwirizana ndi kafukufuku wofufuza.

Kafukufuku wochitidwa ndi Bell ndi anzawo (1978) akuti 70% ya amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amavomereza kuti amagonana ndi oposa 50% mwa anzawo kamodzi, 43% ya amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amavomereza ku 500 kapena anzawo ambiri m'miyoyo yawo yonse, 28% amadziwika mu 1000 kapena kupitilira apo pa moyo wawo wonse, ndipo mwa anthuwa, 79% imati theka la anzawowo sanadziwe kwenikweni, ndipo 70% ya omwe adagonana anali ausiku limodzi (Bell xnumx) Malinga ndi Pollack ndi anzawo, anthu wamba ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amasintha zibwenzi zingapo pachaka, ndi mazana angapo m'miyoyo yawo yonse (Pollak mu Aries xnumx, masamba 40 - 51).

Pofika chaka cha 1984, mliri wa Edzi utabuka, gulu lachiwerewere lidalimbikitsa mamembala ake kuti athetse chiwerewere, koma izi sizinakhudze kwambiri: m'malo mwa> anthu 6 pa mwezi mu 1982, anthu ambiri osakhala amuna okhaokha ku San Francisco mu 1984 adawonetsa kuti anali kulumikizana ndi anthu pafupifupi 4 pamwezi (McKusick 1984²) M'zaka zotsatira, CDC idawona kuwonjezeka kwa chisembwere pakati pa anyamata achichepere ku San Francisco: kuyambira 1994 mpaka 1997, kuchuluka kwa amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe adalumikizana ndi anzawo ambiri komanso kulumikizana mosadziteteza kumawonjezeka kuchokera ku 23,6% mpaka 33,3%, kukwera kwakukulu pakati pa anyamata kupita ku 25 zaka (CDC 1999) Ngakhale kuti ndiwosapeweka, Edzi sikulepheretsa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuti achite zachiwerewere (Hoover xnumx; Kelly 1992).

Pakufufuza kwa anyamata achikulire oposa 2583, zidapezeka kuti pafupifupi anali ndi 100 mpaka anzawo a 500 pa nthawi yonse ya moyo wawo, pomwe 12% inali ndi othandizira oposa 1000 (Van de ven xnumx) Komanso mu kafukufuku womwewo, zidapezeka kuti kwa amuna omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, mwayi woti anali ndi zibwenzi zoposa 50 m'miyezi yapitayi ya 6 ndiwokwera kanayi kuposa kwa amuna omwe si amuna kapena akazi okhaokhaVan de ven xnumx).

Kafukufuku yemwe anachitidwa ndi magazini yotengera amuna kapena akazi okhaokha Genre adawonetsa kuti 24% ya omwe adafunsa adanena kuti ali ndi zibwenzi zoposa zana m'miyoyo yawo. Nyuzipepalayi idanenanso kuti anthu angapo omwe anafunsidwa anena kuti pa kafukufukuyu anali gulu la "amuna opitilira chiwerewere" (a Lambda Report 1998).

Wina kafukufuku, womwe udatenga miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, chiwerengero cha anthu omwe amagonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe amadwala matenda a chiwindi A anali 6 ± 68,2. Chiwerengero cha omwe adagonana ndi akazi apitilira 13 kwa iwo omwe kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha adatenga zaka 713, ndi 11,5 omwe kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kudakhala pafupifupi zaka 1054. (Korey 1980).

Zambiri zosangalatsa zidapezeka mu kafukufuku ndi a Bell ndi anzawo (1978) - olemba, mwa zina, adawunika ngati omwe akuyankha adagonana ndi nyama. Mwa amuna, 19,5% ya amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi 5,4% ya amuna omwe ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amayankha motsimikiza; mwa azimayi omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, 6,5% adayankha inde, akazi achiwerewere adayankha molakwika (Bell xnumx, 1981) Atafunsidwa za mchitidwe wazachisembwere, 26% ya amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, 4,5% ya amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, 9,6% ya akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso 2,7 ya akazi omwe ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amayankha motsimikizaBell xnumx).

Pakufufuza kwa okwatirana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, 41% anali ndi mapangano otseguka ogonana ndi mikhalidwe kapena zoletsa, ndipo 10% anali ndi mapangano otseguka ogonana popanda zoletsa. 22% idanena zakusokonekera kwa zomwe zidagwirizana m'miyezi yapitayi ya 12, ndipo 13% yachitsanzo idanena zakugonana kosatetezedwa m'miyezi itatu yapitayo ndi mnzake wakunja yemwe alibe kachilombo ka HIV wosadziwika kapena wokayikira (Neilands 2010)

Chiwerewere pakati pa akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sichofala kwambiri kuposa amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, koma icho ndi chachikulu kuposa pakati pa akazi kapena amuna okhaokha. Modabwitsa, pali zowoneka modabwitsa m'mabuku kuti pakati pa akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, mulingo wakugonana ndi amuna (!) Ndiwokwera kuposa pakati pa akazi achigololo. Ofufuza ku Australia adanenanso kuti mwayi woti mkazi yemwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha azitha kukhala ndi amuna ochulukirapo kuposa 50 pa nthawi yonse ya moyo wake ndi 4,5 nthawi zambiri kuposa izi kwa akazi amiseche (9% vs 2%); ndi 93% ya akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amagonana ndi amuna (Mtengo 1996; Ferris xnumx).

Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti mchitidwe wogonana wosasunthika, womwe umayamba kuyambira akadali achichepere, umagwirizana kwambiri ndi kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Amayi osadziletsa ogonana amakhala ndi chiwerewere chowonjezeka, omwe ambiri mwa iwo amakhala akazi. Malinga ndi kafukufuku waposachedwa, azimayi omwe ali ndi zibwenzi zingapo amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (Kanazawa xnumx).

Kwa zaka makumi awiri zapitazi, gulu la asamwali adayamba kugonana. Magazini okhala ndi zolaula, malo ogulitsa zoseweretsa, komanso makampani zolaula omwe amayang'aniridwa ndikuyendetsedwa ndi amuna omwe amachita zachiwerewere afalikira. Makalabu a Lesbian amalengeza madzulo a "Ndimakonda Pussy" ndipo monyadira "zochitika" mu chimbudzi. Mabungwe a Lesbian BDSM amapezeka m'mizinda yayikulu ku US, ndipo polyamory ikupezekanso.

Kubwereketsa

Zowunikira zingapo zadziwika kuti amuna ena ogonana amuna okhaokha amagonana modzifunira komanso mwadala ndi kachilombo ka HIV kudzera mu kugonana mosadziteteza ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi HIV. Mchizungu, pamenepa, mawu oti "wobwereketsa" amagwiritsidwa ntchito - "wosaka cholakwika" ndi "wopereka mphatso" - "wopereka". Kwa nthawi yoyamba, milandu yokhudzana ndi kutenga kachilombo ka HIV modzifunira idakambidwa koyamba mkati mwa mliri wa HIV, mkati mwa 80-s, pamene zolemba zoyambirira za sayansi pamutuwu zidatuluka (Frances 1985; Flavin 1986).

Kubwerera ku 1999, munkhani ina m'magazini ya SFGate ku San Francisco, zidanenedwa kuti anthu omwe amatchedwa amuna azitabane akuchulukirachulukira. Masewera a Russian Roulette kapena Masewera Achigololo³- maphwando; Ndiye kuti, pamene magulu a anyamata amakumana kuti achite zachiwerewere, kutsatira malamulo atatu: osavala zovala, opanda makondomu komanso osayankhula zokhala ndi kachilombo ka HIV, ngakhale m'modzi mwa omwe atenga nawo mbali ali ndi kachirombo ka HIV (Russel 1999).

Kulongosola molondola kwambiri kwa "kuthamangitsa" ndikuwonekera patapita nthawi pang'ono - ku 2003, pomwe mtolankhani Gregory Freeman adatulutsa nkhani "Mukuyang'ana Imfa" mu magazine "Rolling Stone", pomwe adati kuti zatsopano zawonekera pakati pa amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha: pomwe ali okha ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amafuna kulandira kachilombo koyambitsa matenda a Edzi, pomwe ena akufuna kuwapatsira chisangalalo (Freeman xnumx, kuchotsedwa patsamba la Rolling Stone).

"... Kukutengera kachilombo ka HIV kwa iwo ndikuwononga kwambiri, mchitidwe wogonana kwambiri womwe umakopa anyamata kapena akazi okhaokha omwe ali okonzeka kuyesa chilichonse. Ena amadzimva kukhala otayika pagulu lomwe amakhala ndi kachilombo ka HIV kuchokera pagulu la agogo. Eni ngongole amafuna kukhala gawo la "kalabu" iyi. Ena amati kugulitsa matumba kumatsegula chitseko cha nirvana yogonana. Ndipo anthu ena sakhulupirira kuti sawoneka ngati wokonda kachirombo ka HIV ... "(Freeman xnumx).

Ngakhale nkhani ya Freeman idadzetsa chitsutsano kuchokera kwa omwe amagwirizana nawo a LGBT, gulu la akatswiri omwe amadzudzula Freeman pakuwonjezera kuchuluka kwavuto kapena kuwunikira zambiri, umboni wasayansi ukuwonetsa zofanana pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Ofufuzawo Gossier ndi Forsyth ku 1999 adalongosola koyamba mu ntchito yawo yasayansi chikhumbo chofuna kupewetsa kachilombo ka HIV pakati pa ochita zachiwerewere komanso kugonana mosadziteteza kwa ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (Gauthier xnumx) Mu 2003, Dr. Richard Tewkesbury adalongosola, woyamba m'gulu la asayansi, momwe amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe amachita "kunyamula katundu" amagwiritsa ntchito intaneti komanso malo ena achinsinsi (Tewksbury 2003; 2006) Mu 2004, kufalikira kwa machitidwe otere pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kunafotokozedwa ndi Crossley (Crossley xnumx) Kafukufuku wambiri wogwiritsa ntchito intaneti pakati pa "ogulitsa masheya" anachitidwa ndi ofufuza a Grove ndi anzawo (Grov 2006a; 2006b; 2004) Mu 2007, asayansi aku America Moskowitz ndi Roloff adafotokoza zifukwa zingapo zomwe zimapangitsa kuti amuna kapena akazi okhaokha azifuna kutenga kachilombo ka HIV: chimodzi mwazifukwa ndi kufunitsitsa kulowa mu "ubale wa oyambitsa", ogwirizana kwambiri kuposa gulu logawanikana la amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (Moskowitz 2007a) Chifukwa china ndikutsimikiza kudzitchinjiriza ndi kufunitsitsa kugonana mwakugonana osawopa kutenga kachilombo ka HIV. Gulu lachitatu lilinso ndi anthu omwe amakana Edzi ndipo amakana “Edzi ya AIDS” ngati lingaliro chabe. Moskowitz ndi Roloff adayerekezera kutulutsa zikwama modalira kwambiri: m'malingaliro awo, amuna omwe akufuna kutenga kachilomboka nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi moyo wosagonana, akumagonana mosadziteteza ndi anthu omwe ali ndi kachilombo ka HIV komanso omwe kachilombo ka HIV sikadziwika.Moskowitz 2007a) Makhalidwe a anthu omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe amakhala "onyamula katundu" komanso zifukwa zomwe amathandizira zimafotokozedwanso mu ntchito zina (Moskowitz 2007b; LeBlanc 2007; Hatfield 2004; Blechner xnumx) Umu ndi momwe amafotokoza awo Joseph Shyambra:

Pofika nthawi imeneyi ndimadwala pafupipafupi mpaka ndinatsimikiza kuti ndadwala kale. Kenako ndinalowa m'magulu a anthu osawopa, oyenda wopanda kachilombo ka HIV komanso omwe anali ndi kachilombo kale. M'maguluwa, kunyalanyaza kugonana kotetezeka sikunakhaleko kokwanira, kapena m'mlengalenga kunali kosangalatsa komanso kotentha kwambiri kuti wina ayime ndikutsegula phukusi ndi kondomu. Otsatira okonda kwambiri anali omwe amalakalaka kuti atenge kachilombo kuchokera kwa wopereka kachiromboka. Kusagonana kothekera kudzera mu kugonana kwa amuna okhaokha kapena akazi okhaokha kumasiya kuzindikira kwa onse omwe akukhudzidwa. Kubwezerako kunkaphatikizapo kuyambitsa tinthu tomwe timayamwa mu umuna, zomwe zitha kuthana ndi mbali iliyonse ya foni, ndikusintha wolandirayo mpaka kalekale ” (Sciambra xnumx).

Kukhazikika komanso kusasiyanitsa kwa mabwenzi

Anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ngakhale atakhala ndi chibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali, sakhala okhulupilika kwa wina ndi mnzake. Kwa mabanja achikhalidwe, kafukufuku woyimira dziko yemwe adafalitsidwa mu Journal of kugonana Research adapeza kuti 77% ya amuna okwatirana ndi 88% ya akazi okwatiwa ndiowona ku malumbiro awo akwati (Wiederman xnumx) Kafukufuku wina wapadziko lonse, zidapezeka kuti 75% ya amuna ndi 85% ya akazi sadagonane kunja kwa banja (Laumann xnumx) Kafukufuku wapafoni wa anthu akuluakulu omwe adayankhira 1049 pa Parade Magazine adawonetsa: 81% ya amuna okwatirana ndi 85% ya akazi okwatiwa adati sanaphwanye malumbiro awo aukwati (PR Newswire 1994). Malinga ndi kuwunika kwa deta ya 1995, 83% ya amuna ndi 95% ya azimayi akuti monogamy (Paik 2010) Chifukwa chake, maubale achikhalidwe, kuphatikiza ukwati - mgwirizano wa mwamunayo ndi mkazi - ndi ogonana makamaka, ndiye kuti, kugonana kunja kwa ukwati sikovomerezeka.

Za maubwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kuphatikiza iwo omwe adalembetsedwa, maubwenzi oterewa amakhala osagonana okha - pafupifupi, mnzake aliyense amakhala ndi zolumikizana ziwiri mchaka (Rosenberg 2011) Kafukufuku wa McWhirter (1985) adapeza kuti kwa nthawi yayitali ya 1 mpaka 5, 4,5% yokha ya amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi omwe amauza monogamy, ndipo kwa nthawi yoposa 5, palibe. Olembawo adanenetsa kuti:

"Kuyembekeza zakugonana kwakunja ndi lamulo kwa amuna ndi akazi kupatula amuna okhaokha kapena akazi okhaokha. Maanja omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhala ndi chiyembekezo choti chibwenzi chawo chidzakhalapo "mpaka imfa ikawalekanitse", pomwe amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amaganiza ngati chibwenzi chawo chidzapulumuka ... Chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chomwe chimapangitsa maanja kukhala limodzi patatha zaka khumi ndikusowa kwachinthu. bwenzi ". (McWhirter 1985, p.3, p.256).

Harry (1984) akuti 66% ya amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amavomereza kuti agone pambali pachaka choyamba cha ubale, ndipo ngati akhala zaka zoposa zisanu, kuchuluka kwa anthu omwe adavomera kumawonjezeka mpaka ku 90%.

Sarantakos (1998d) adapeza kuti ndi 10% yokha ya amuna ndi akazi a 17% ya mabanja omwe ali ndi akazi amodzi okha. Izi zisanachitike, adawonetsa kuti 19% yokha ya amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe sanagawanane pazaka zomaliza za 5, pomwe 66% ya amuna ndi 63% ya mabanja achikazi adasiyana ndi anzawo atatu kapena angapo (Sarantakos 1996c).

Kafukufuku ku Netherlands adapeza kuti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumatha pafupifupi chaka chimodzi ndi theka. Nthawi yomweyo, amuna omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe alibe chibwenzi chotalika amakhala ndi pafupifupi 22 ogonana mwachisawawa pachaka, komanso iwo omwe ali pachibwenzi chotalikilapo⁴, - "okonda" 8 "okonda" pachaka (Lampinen 2003; Xiridou 2003) Kafukufuku yemwe anachitika ku 2006 ndi ofufuza ochokera ku Yunivesite ya California pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso amuna kapena akazi okhaokha anapeza kuti oposa theka la amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (51%) sanali mu ubale wokhazikika. Mwa amuna omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, gawo ili linali 15% (Strohm 2006) Pakafukufuku waku Canada wa anyamata kapena akazi okhaokha omwe adalumikizana ndi mnzake kwa 1 osachepera, zidapezeka kuti 25% yokha ndi yomwe ilibe ma intaneti akunja. Malinga ndi wolemba phunziroli:

“… Chikhalidwe cha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha chimalola amuna kuyesa njira zosiyanasiyana… za maubwenzi, osati amuna okhaokha…” (Lee 2003).

Malingana ndi kafukufuku Zaka za 2013, pafupifupi 70% ya matenda opatsirana a HIV pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha zimachitika kudzera mwa okwatirana, popeza kuchuluka kwa chigololo kumachitika popanda kugwiritsa ntchito kondomu (Brady 2013). Wothandizira maukwati Dr. Hayton anafotokozera zamomwe amagonana ambiri ogonana:

"... Amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amatsimikiza ndikupereka chitsanzo kuti maubale ndi osakhalitsa komanso makamaka ogonana ... M'magulu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, malingaliro ofala ndi akuti kukhala ndi mkazi m'modzi m'banja sizofala ndipo sikuyenera kulimbikitsidwa muubwenzi wabwino" waukwati "..." ( Hayton 1993).

Mu kafukufuku wa 2005, zidapezeka kuti "40,3% ya amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe ali m'magulu a" mabungwe wamba "ndi 49,3% ya omwe sanali m'magulu oterowo adakambirana ndipo adagwirizana kuti azilola kugonana kunja. Poyerekeza, pakati pa mabanja achikhalidwe chizindikiro ichi chinali chofanana ndi 3,5% ”(Solomon 2005).

Wofufuza wa Pollak adawona kuti "maubwenzi ena ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe amakhala zaka zoposa ziwiri, ambiri mwaiwo amawonetsa kuti anali ndi zibwenzi zoposa 100" (Pollak mu Aries xnumx).

Whitehead (2017) adachita kafukufuku woyerekeza kutalika kwa ubale pakati pa okwatirana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso pakati pa zibwenzi zogwirizana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kutengera maphunziro a maphunziro akulu omwe adalembedwa ku United States ndi Britain (Whitehead 2017) Kutalika kwapakati⁵ maubwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha anali zaka za 3,5, ndipo nthawi yayitali ya maubale m'mabanja omwe anali amuna kapena akazi okhaokha inali zaka za 27; Chifukwa chake, kutalika kwa maubale m'mabwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi ofupikirapo kasanu ndi kawiri kuposa ubale wamabanjaWhitehead 2017).

Kumvera chisoni gulu logonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, wolemba amafotokoza za ubale womwe ulipo pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha motere:

"... mdziko lachiwerewere, muyeso weniweniwo wamtengo wapatali ndi kukopa kwakuthupi ... Mnyamata wachinyamata yemwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha adzawona kuti nthawi zambiri amakonda abale ake ogonana amuna okhaokha ngati chinthu chogonana. Ngakhale atha kumuitanira kudzadya nawo ndikumupatsa malo okhala, akamaliza kukhutira naye, atha kuyiwala zakupezeka kwake komanso zosowa zake. " (Hoffman xnumx)

Mu 2015, Khothi Lalikulu ku U.S. linavomerezanso ukwati wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kuti mayiko onse apereke ziphaso zaukwati kwa omwe ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ndikuzindikiritsa satifiketi zotulutsidwa m'malamulo ena. Komabe, monga gulu la Gallup American Public Opinion Institute likusonyezera, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sathamangira kugwiritsa ntchito ufulu wawo womwe wapeza kumene. Ngati maukwati a amuna kapena akazi okhaokha asanalembetsedwe, 7.9% ya amuna ogonana amuna okhaokha aku America "anakwatirana" (akumaliza ndi zomwe zimaloledwa), ndiye kuti pambuyo povomerezeka ndi 2.3% yokha yomwe idaganiza zolimbitsa ubale wawo. Chaka chatha chigamulo cha Khothi Lalikulu, 9.5% yokha ya amuna ogonana amuna okhaokha aku America omwe anali "okwatirana", omwe ambiri mwa iwo anali ndi zaka 50 + (Jones 2017) Chithunzi chofananachi chikuwoneka ku Netherlands, komwe ukwati wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha udasungidwa mwalamulo kuyambira 2001 pachaka: 12% yokha ya amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe ndi "okwatiwa", poyerekeza ndi 86% ya anzawo omwe si amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Joseph Ciambra wogwidwa pamwambapa amafotokoza Izi ndichifukwa choti amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha safuna kuchepetsa chilakolako chawo chogonana ndi mnzake m'modzi:

"Mwakufunika kwa bizinesi yaimuna, omasulidwa ku malingaliro a akazi ndi atsikana, amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri komanso kusagwirizana, chifukwa chake kuchuluka otsika ukwati wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (9,6%), pomwe lingaliro la Obergefell lidangokulira ndi 1,7%, komanso kuteteza kachilombo ka HIV pakati pa amuna omwe ali ndi ubale wodalirika. Maubale pakati pa amuna omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha siotsutsana, koma amakambirana maubale omasuka. Komabe, maonekedwe amapangidwa omwe amafanana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kapena amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. ” (Sciambra xnumx). 

Mosiyana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, "maukwati", "wokwatirana naye" ndi "kukhulupirika" kwa amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zambiri sangotanthauza bwenzi limodzi. Chifukwa chake mu bukulo Handbook of Family Diversity (1999) Kafukufuku amaperekedwa pomwe maanja ambiri omwe amadziona ngati "okhathamira" adanenanso kuti chaka chatha anali ndi zibwenzi za 3 - 5.

Mtolankhani waku Britain Milo Yannopoulos akufotokozera tanthauzo la maubale omwe ali paubwenzi wamtunduwu motere:

“Nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndi bwenzi limodzi lalikulu lomwe limandipatsa ndalama. Izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala dokotala, wosunga ndalama, kapena zina zotero. Ndipo ndili ndi abwenzi angapo ogonana - ophunzitsa anthu, othamanga. Ndimawaitanira, ndipo bwenzi lalikulu limandiyitana ... Chowonadi ndi chakuti, tili ndi mwayi womwe mulibe. Tili ndi kulolera kofunikira kwambiri komwe kumatimasula kuzochitika zonse. Ndicho chifukwa chake ukwati wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi wopusa kwambiri. Mulungu wanga, aliyense amene akufuna kukhala ndi munthu m'modzi ndi wowopsa "(Yiannopoulos 2016).

Monga momwe machitidwe akusonyezera, mosiyana ndi chipwirikiti chokhudza ukwati wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ambiri ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sawafunikira. Kodi chodabwitsachi chingafotokozedwe bwanji? Poyamba, maubwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi osakhazikika mwachilengedwe. Ngati muubwenzi wachilengedwe, mwamuna ndi mkazi amalumikizana wina ndi mzake pakumasiyana kwawo kwachilengedwe ndi malingaliro, ndiye kuti pamaubwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha palibe mgwirizano uliwonse, nchifukwa chake ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakumana ndi kusakhutira, komwe kukusonyezedwa kosasunthika. Monga dokotala wamisala Edmund Bergler adanenanso:

"Maubwenzi omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi achabechabe poyerekeza ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha" (Bergler 1956, p. 17).

Chifukwa chake mwayi wokhala wokwatirana ndi yemwe si amuna kapena akazi anzawo sasintha kuti maubwenzi oterewa sagwira ntchito.

Kulongosola modabwitsa pa kusowa kwa mchitidwe wogonana pakati pa amuna amuna ogonana amuna ndi akazi amaperekedwa ndi William Aaron. Ndizofunikira kudziwa kuti amagwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "Homophile", otchuka mu ma 60 koma atayiwalika tsopano (ngati kugona nyama, kugona mnyumba, ndi zina zotere):

“M'moyo wamiseche, kukhulupirika kumakhala kovuta. Popeza kuti kukakamizidwa kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumawoneka ngati kufunikira kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuti "atenge" amuna omwe amagonana nawo, ayenera kukhala akuyang'anira [zibwenzi zatsopano]. Zotsatira zake, "maukwati" opambana kwambiri ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi omwe mumakhala mgwirizano pakati pa abwenzi kuti azichita zibwenzi kumbali, kusunga mawonekedwe osasinthasintha m'moyo wawo ... Moyo wamiseche ndiwofala kwambiri ndipo umagwira bwino ntchito ngati anthu omwe amagonana nawonso sianthu ndipo samadziwika. Monga gulu, ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe ndimadziwa amawoneka kuti amatanganidwa kwambiri ndi zogonana kuposa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ...William Aaron 1972, p.208)

Bergler, pofotokoza chithunzi chamomwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, amanenanso kuti amakonda kugonana kosadziwika komanso kusakhutira kosalekeza komwe kumayambitsa kufufuza kosalekeza:

“Amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhala osamala nthawi zonse. "Kuyenda" kwake (mawu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuti mupeze mphindi ziwiri kapena bwenzi labwino kwakanthawi kochepa) ndikofala kwambiri kuposa kwamunthu yemwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe amakhala ndi zibwenzi usiku umodzi. Malinga ndi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, izi zikuwonetsa kuti amalakalaka zosiyanasiyana ndipo amakhala ndi chilakolako chogonana. M'malo mwake, izi zimangotsimikizira kuti kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi chakudya chosakwanira komanso chosakhutiritsa. Zimatsimikiziranso kukhalapo kwa chidwi chofuna maso nthawi zonse changozi: nthawi iliyonse pamaulendo awo, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhala pachiwopsezo chomenyedwa, kuyesa kulandidwa kapena matenda opatsirana pogonana ... Maubwenzi ambiri ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amapezeka m'malo azimbudzi, osadziwika m'mapaki ndi malo osambira aku Turkey, komwe chinthu chogonana sichimawonekeranso. Njira zopanda umunthu zoterezi zofikira "kukhudzana" zimapangitsa kuyendera malo ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ngati chosangalatsa. ” (Bergler 1956, p. 16)

Umu ndi momwe omenyera ufulu Kirk ndi Madsen omwe atchulidwa pamwambapa amafotokozera tanthauzo la maubale omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha:

"Amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sakhala abwino kupeza ndi kusunga anzawo. Ubale pakati pawo nthawi zambiri sukhala nthawi yayitali, ngakhale ambiri amafunafuna munthu wokwatirana naye. Mwanjira ina, aliyense akuwoneka, koma palibe. Kodi mungafotokozere izi? Poyamba, izi zimachitika chifukwa chachilendo cha thupi ndi ma psychology, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti kugonana kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi kukhala kosakhazikika munyumba kuposa ubale wamamuna ndi mkazi. Pafupifupi, mayendedwe akugonana azimayi amakhala ochepa kwambiri kuposa amuna, ndipo samakhudzidwa ndi chidwi chowoneka. Mkazi amatenga chidwi kwambiri ndi zogonana kuposa zomwe amaziwona. Amuna, kumbali, samangokhala ndi chidwi chogonana (pafupifupi nthawi zonse), komanso mwachangu komanso zosangalatsa kwambiri chifukwa chongowona mnzake "wabwino".

Kachiwiri, kuukitsa kugonana kumadalira kwambiri "chinsinsi", ndiye kuti, kuchuluka kwa osadziwika pakati pa zibwenzi. Ndizachidziwikire kuti mwakuthupi komanso mwamaganizidwe, amuna ndi ofanana kuposa akazi, chifukwa chake sadziwika kwenikweni pamenepo. Izi, monga lamulo, zimatsogolera amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuti azigwira ntchito mopitirira malire kuchokera kwa anzawo. Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, izi ndizowonjezera kwa oledzera, omwe kukhudzika kwawo kumadutsa mwachangu, koma popeza zofuna zawo zogonana ndizochepa, amakhala okhutira ndi maubale.

Njira yokhayo yomwe ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amasankha kulumikizana kwawo ndi kukopa kugonana. Maubwenzi okhazikika ndi anthu osawadziwa komanso anthu omwe alibe chidwi nawo amatha kukhala olimba munthawi zonse komanso osafuna kuweruza machitidwe ofunikira. Chikhulupiriro cha kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi oterewa chitha kufotokozedwa kuti: "Karl, ngakhale ndi munthu wofesedwa, koma ali ndi chibwana chachikulu, mwina ndipite naye kunyumba."

Kusakhazikika m'maganizo, kuopa kukakamizidwa komanso kudziona kuti ndi wotsika kwambiri kumatsogolera amuna ambiri ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Pokhala otsimikiza mtima kuti ali opanda pake, amaletsa kumverera kotsimikiza kuti amalakalaka kugonana, akumachita zachiwerewere ndi omwe sanawadziwe. Ndipo ngakhale pafupifupi aliyense wogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha anganene kuti akufuna kupeza chikondi chenicheni, zofuna zake ndizokokomeza komanso zosatheka kotero kuti amangozisiya kuti asakumane ndi munthu wotere. Mwachitsanzo, sayenera kumwa, kusuta fodya, kukhala ndi chidwi ndi zojambulajambula, gombe, guacamole, kuyang'ana komanso kuchita zinthu ngati munthu wowongoka, kuvala bwino; kukhala ndi nthabwala, kakhalidwe koyenera; sayenera kukhala ndi tsitsi lambiri mthupi; zizikhala zathanzi, zosemedwa bwino. . . mukumvetsetsa.

Kodi nchifukwa ninji amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amadziika okha? Choyamba, chifukwa amakonda kukhala ndi malingaliro osangalatsa kuposa kuthana ndi zenizeni. Kachiwiri, zimawapatsa chifukwa choyenera choti alibe wina aliyense, ndikuti kugonana kosasamala komanso kopanda ulemu ndiko kusaka komwe.

"Kusafuna" kukhala ndi zibwenzi zilizonse nthawi zambiri kumakhala kulepheretsa kukhala nawo. Anthu omwe ali ndi vutoli amapitiliza kufotokozera mwatsatanetsatane za kufalikira kwawo, mpaka kulemba mabuku omwe amalongosola "moyo wawo" ngati "mawu osintha zandale" komanso "ojambula osokera a pabwalo lamasewera ogonana".

Pomwe, chifukwa chofuna mwamuna wabwinoko, amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha akavomera munthu wamba, nkhondo ya chikondi simalira pamenepo - imangoyambira. Munthu wamba Joni Gay ndikukuwuzani kuti akufuna kuyanjana "wopanda nkhawa" pomwe wokondayo "sachita nawo kwambiri, samapanga zofuna zake, ndipo amamupatsa mpata wokwanira." Zowonadi, palibe malo omwe angakhale okwanira, chifukwa Joni sakufuna wokonda, koma bwenzi laulemu - mnzake wothandiziratu, mtundu wa zida zam'nyumba zosalemekeza. Ngati kukondana kumayamba kuonekera muubwenzi (womwe, mwa lingaliro, uyenera kukhala chifukwa chomveka kwambiri kwa iwo), amasiya kukhala omasuka, amakhala "ovuta" ndikugwa. Komabe, si onse ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe amafunafuna "ubale" wouma chotere. Ena amafuna kukondana kwenikweni, ndipo mwina amapeza. Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani? Posachedwa, njoka yamaso imodziyo imadzuka.

Sipanakhalepo mwambo wokhulupirika m'dera lachiwerewere. Ngakhale munthu wokonda amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ali wokondwa ndi wokondedwa wake, atha kufunafuna x **. Kuchuluka kwa kusakhulupirika pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha "okwatirana", pakapita nthawi, kuyandikira 100%. Amuna, monga tanenera kale, ndiosangalatsa kuposa azimayi, omwe ali ndi mphamvu zokhazikika, ndipo nkhope zokongola m'sitima yapansi panthaka kapena supamaketi zimatha kutembenuza mitu yawo. Amuna awiri okhaokha ndimavuto awiri, omwe amachititsa kuti munthu aphedwe. Mabanja ambiri ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, akugwadira zosapeŵeka, amavomereza "maubwenzi otseguka." Nthawi zina zimagwira ntchito: atasiya kutentha, wokondedwayo amabwerera kwa mnzake yemwe ndi wofunika kwambiri kuposa ena. Koma izi sizigwira ntchito nthawi zonse. Nthawi zina maubwenzi otseguka amakhala oyenera kwa m'modzi kuposa mnzake, yemwe pamapeto pake amavomereza kuti sangayime ndikusiya. Nthawi zina kumangokhala kuvomereza mwakachetechete kuti maubale salinso okhudzana ndi chikondi, koma pazogonana komanso zatsiku ndi tsiku. Otsatirawa akhoza kukhala onyansa kwambiri: okonda, kapena m'malo mwake amagona limodzi, amasandulika ogwirizana, kuthandizana kupeza zibwenzi zogonana atatu ”... (Kirk ndi Madsen 1990).

Malinga ndi chithunzi cha chipatala cha Dr. Nicolosi, onse omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zambiri amakhala otetezedwa ku kugonana kwawo komwe amachokera paubwana ndipo amafunika kulipilira. Chifukwa chake, ubale wawo nthawi zambiri umakhala ngati lingaliro losatheka la mamuna wina ngati chitsanzo champhongo introject. Pofufuza maubale ndi abambo ena komanso kugonana kwawo, yemwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha akufuna kuyanjanitsanso gawo lotayika la umunthu wake. Pofunafuna mwamuna wina kuti apangitse kuti asakhale ndi umuna, mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzake amakhala ndi vuto lodzidalira pa mnzake kapena amakhumudwa kwambiri kupeza mwa iye momwe amadzichepetsera chimodzimodzi.

Atakhumudwitsidwa, amapita kukafunafuna mnzake, wokhutiritsa kwambiri. Popeza kukopa kwake kumabwera chifukwa cha kuperewera, sangakondane momasuka: mtima wake wokonda amuna kapena akazi komanso chitetezo chake chimalepheretsa kudalirana komanso kuyanjana. Amawona amuna ena pongotengera zomwe angachite kuti apange kuperewera kwake. Mwanjira izi amatenga, osapatsa.

Mwamuna wokhumudwa amatha kudzimva kwakanthawi mothandizidwa ndi kugonana kosadziwika - chifukwa cha kukongola kwake, kulimba kwake komanso ngakhale zoopsa zake, mtsogolo mwa kugonana komwe kumachitika komanso kuchepa kwa mavuto. Koma izi ndi zongokhala ndi nthawi, mpaka atakhumudwanso, ndikuyambiranso kugonana kosadziwika ngati yankho lalifupi pakukhumudwitsa kwake kwa uzimu. Nthawi zambiri wogulitsa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amati amapeza mwayi wosagonana ndi munthu wina pambuyo pake.

Chiwawa Chaubwenzi

Malingana ndi LGBT yolandila chakudya, "Amayi omwe ali ndi chiwerewere amatha kukumana ndi zovuta zapathupi komanso zamaganizidwe, monga nkhanza zapabanja komanso kuchitidwa nkhanza ..." (Makadon 2008) A Lesbian ndiwotheka kwambiri kuposa amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kukhala ozunzidwa komanso oyambitsa zachiwawa (Waldner-Haugrud 1997²).

Kafukufuku wa APA adapeza kuti 47,5% ya operewera leseru akhalapo ndi nkhanza kwa mnzake. Mwa ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, nkhanza za anzawo zidanenedwa ndi 38.8% (Mafuta a basamu xnumx) CDC idawonetsa zofananira - 40,4% ya ochitidwa nkhanza omwe adazunzidwa ndi mnzake; mu 29,4%, zachiwawa zinali zazikulu: kumenya, moxibustion kapena kumenya kena kake kovuta (Walters xnumx).

Mu zitsanzo za amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, 73% mwaiwo adazunzidwa ndi wokondedwa wawo (Merrill 2000) Welles ndi anzawo adawona kuti 49% ya amuna akuda omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amachitidwa chipongwe ndipo 37% amachitidwa chipongwe (Welles xnumx).

"LGBT Family Research Journal" idanenanso kuti 70,2% ya otsala omwe amachitidwapo zachipongwe mzaka zambiri zapitazi (Matte & Lafontaine 2011) Kafukufuku wina adawonetsa kuti akazi a 69% azimayi omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakumana ndi nkhanza, pomwe 77,5% imayang'anira machitidwe owongolera. Kwa amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, izi zinali 55,6% ndi 69,6%, motsatana (Messinger 2011). Malinga ndi kuwunika kwa CDC, pafupifupi, 63,5% ya akazi amisece amachitidwa nkhanza ndi mzake, yemwe nthawi zambiri amawonetsedwa kudzipatula kwa mabanja ndi abwenzi, kuchititsidwa manyazi, kutukwana komanso kuwatsimikizira kuti palibe amene akuwafuna (Walters xnumx).

Bodza ndiogwira nawo ntchito akuwona kuti kukalirana mu zibwenzi nthawi zambiri nthawi zambiri kumayenderana. Pampulu lawo, 23,1% ya amuna omwe amagonana mosakwatiwa anena kuti amakakamizidwa kugonana ndi bwenzi lawo lomwe ali nalo, ndi 9,4% kuchokera kwa bwenzi lawo lakale. Kuphatikiza apo, 55.1% idanenanso zamwano ndi zamtopola (Bodza et al. Xnumx) Kafukufuku wina adapeza kuti poyerekeza ndi 17,8% ya akazi omwe ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, 30,6% ya amuna omwe amachita zachiwerewere adagonana ndi zofuna zawo (Duncan 1990), koma malinga ndi Waldner-Haugrud (1997¹) 50% ya otsogola omwe adakumana ndi kukakamizidwa ndi anzawo, omwe ndi 5% ochepa kuposa amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Nkhani ya 1994 ya chaka chino mu Journal of Interpersonal Violence idayankha za mikangano ndi nkhanza m'mabanja achimuna omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (Lockhart 1994) Ofufuzawo adapeza kuti 31% ya omwe adafunsidwa akuti adakumana ndi gawo limodzi lozunzidwa ndi wokondedwa wawo. Malinga ndi Nichols (2000), 54% ya akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe adanenedwa kuti adakumana ndi zankhanza za 10 kapena zowonjezereka zochitidwa ndi anzawo, 74% idawonetsa 6 - 10 episode (Nichols xnumx).

Kafukufuku wapadziko lonse wokhudza nkhanza pakati pa akazi ndi amayi akuwonetsa kuti "kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumakhala ndi ziwawa zochuluka kuposa zomwe zimagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. 39% ya cohabitants adanenedwa kuzunzidwa mwakuthupi ndi kwamaganizidwe ndi mnzake poyerekeza ndi 21,7% ya omwe adayankhidwa kuchokera pachikhalidwe chosagwirizana. Mwa amuna, manambalawa ndi, 23,1% ndi 7,4% ”(CDC 2000).

M'magulu awo, Amuna Omenya Amuna Omwe Amawakonda, Island ndi Letellier akuti "chiopsezo cha nkhaza zapakati pa abwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndichofanana ndi chiwerewere"Chilumba xnumx).

Malinga ndi kafukufuku yemwe boma la Canada linachita mu 2006:

"... nkhanza za okwatirana zimachitika kawiri kawiri pakati pa anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha poyerekeza ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha: 15% ndi 7%, motsatana" (Statistics Canada - Catalog no. 85-570, p.39).

Zowonjezera

Zowonjezera ndi zambiri zitha kupezeka m'mabuku otsatirawa:

1. Dailey tj Kuyerekezera Makhalidwe Amunthu Wogonana Amuna Ndi Mkazi Okwatiwa. Bungwe Lofufuzira Mabanja. 2004.
2. Cameron P. Chiwawa cham'nyumba pakati pa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Psychol Rep. 2003 Oct; 93 (2): 410-6. DOI: 10.2466 / pr0.2003.93.2.410
3. Reisman J. Lipoti la Reisman & Johnson. Kugwiritsa Ntchito "Ukwati Wa Amuna Kapena Akazi Okhaokha" Ndi "Milandu Yodana Nawo". Lipoti Loyambira Pakukula. A Working draft 2008. First Principles Press. masamba 8-11.

Mfundo

Chingerezi cha 1: "Fagots"
2 Mu 1982, poyankha adawonetsa kuti anali ndi avareji ya othandizira atsopano a 4,7 m'mwezi watha; 1984 - 2,5 abwenzi atsopano nthawi yomweyo.
3 eng. "Kubwereza" - kukwera maulendo ochepa. Izi zikutanthauza kulowetsa maliseche ("anal" kugonana) popanda kondomu.
4 khalani ndi "wokhazikika wokhazikika '
Nthawi ya 5 kuyambira pakulembetsa mpaka kuthetsedwa kwa mgwirizano wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kapena "ukwati"