I-Kocharyan Garnik Surenovich, Ugqirha weeNzululwazi zezoNyango, uNjingalwazi weSebe lezeSini ngezeSayensi yezeSondo, iNzululwazi yezoNyango, ezoNyango kunye nezoNyango zeZengqondo kwiKharkov Medical Academy. uhambise incwadi ethi "Shame and Loss of Attachment. Ukusetyenziswa konyango oluphindaphindwayo xa usenza ”. Umbhali yenye yeengcali ezigunyazisiweyo nezaziwayo kwihlabathi kwicandelo lonyango oluphindaphindayo, umseki woMbutho weSizwe woFundo kunye nokunyanga ubuNtu (NARTH) -Gqirha Joseph Nicolosi. Le ncwadi yapapashwa okokuqala e-United States ngo-2009 phantsi kwesihloko esithi "Shame and Attachment Loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy".
Kwincwadi yakhe, uGqr. UNicolosi uxoxa ngokuba ngaba unyango lwe-drive engafunekiyo luthathwa lwamkelekile. Ngokoluvo lwakhe, umnqweno weengcali ezithile zokuthintela ngokusemthethweni unyango olunjalo ngokuchasene nomnqweno wantlukwano oxelwa yi-liberalism yanamhlanje. Ewe, isigulana esinesifo sokuba nomnqweno wokuthandana nomntu ongatshatanga naye kwaye sifuna ukumsusa sinelungelo lokufumana uncedo olufanelekileyo, kuba kungenjalo oko kuya kuba kukwaphula amalungelo abantu.
Uluvo olujikelezwe ngamaqela anomdla oluguquko (olusebenzayo ngokwesondo, olubuyisanayo, olwahlulahlulwayo), olwaluzame ngokungaphumeleli ukuluthintela ngokupheleleyo, kuba kucingelwa ukuba alunakusebenza kwaye, ngaphezu koko, luyingozi kakhulu, luyimpazamo. Oku, ngakumbi, kuboniswa ziziphumo zophando lokuqala olucwangciswe ngobuchule bokusebenza kwezonyango lokuguqula (kuvavanywa ngabantu be882), elicebisa ukuba i45% yabo babezigqala njengabantu abathandana besini esinye kuphela batshintshe isimo sabo sokwabelana ngesondo ukuze babe ngabanobungqingili ngokupheleleyo okanye baba bakhulu ngokwahlukileyo kubungqingili (uJ. Nicolosi, 2000). Amava omsebenzi wethu weklinikhi, kunye nezinye iingcali ezininzi, zikwabonisa ukusebenza ngokuchanekileyo kwonyango lokuguqula.
UGqr. UNicolosi uphawula ukuba ukujonga ngokunyanisekileyo imeko yobufanasini kutyhila ukuba, nangaphandle kokuqwalasela imiphumo yayo emininzi embi eluntwini, asiyombonakaliso engenabungozi yokwahluka kwabantu, kodwa yimeko ephawulwa kukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo. Ngokuchasene nembono yokuba zonke iingxaki zengqondo zabantu abathandana besini esifana nesabo zinxulunyaniswa nokungavunyelwa kwezentlalo, umbhali utsalela ingqalelo kubukho bezinto eziyingxaki ezikwimeko yobufanasini ngokwayo. Njengobungqina, ukhankanya inyani yokuba amazinga aphezulu eengxaki zengqondo phakathi kwabantu abathandana nabantu abathandana besini esifana nesakhe akhange ehle kwizixeko ezinobuhlobo obufana neSan Francisco okanye amazwe anyamezelayo afana neNetherlands neDenmark.
Zininzi iindibaniselwano zezizathu zokutsala amafanasini. Kwimeko nganye, ezi zinto zidibanisa ngendlela yazo. Imodeli yombhali ecetywayo yokwenziwa komtsalane wobungqingili igxila kwimpembelelo yezebhayoloji (umoya okwamkelayo), kodwa ubukhulu becala ekungabinakho kwabazali ukugcina uphawu lwenkwenkwe oluvelayo. Indima ethile idlalwa ngamava amabi ekunxibelelaneni noontanga besini esifanayo. Konke oku kukhokelela kwimvakalelo yokwahlulahlula emadodeni, apho inkwenkwe ekhangwa sisini sayo, ithatha amanye amadoda ngendlela engaqondakaliyo neyahlukileyo kuye.
UGqr. U-Nicholas uxela ukuba kuluntu lwamanye amadoda, uninzi lwamadoda athandana nabantu abathandana nabo baziva bengonwabanga, kwaye izizathu zoko zingafumaneka ebusaneni. Oku kungenxa yokungahlukani kukatata, eqhelekileyo ekuphuhlisweni kwendoda nomntu wesini kwaye imile kwi-etiology yomtsalane wesini esifanayo. Amadoda anomnqweno wesini esifanayo afuna ukusondelelana namanye amadoda, njengoko efuna ukuphiliswa enxebeni elenzelwe nguyise. Basoloko bekhangela ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nabantu, kodwa kwangaxeshanye bayoyika olu lwalamano. Kwindoda ezizama ukoyisa ingxaki yakhe yobungqingili, kubalulekile ukuseka kunye nzulu ubudlelwane obunempilo bendoda. Umbhali ukholelwa ukuba ubuhlobo kunye nomntu wesini esahlukileyo kunye neso sinomdla kwisigulana sinika elona thuba likhulu lokuphiliswa.
Ngamaxesha amaninzi kunokuba kunjalo, indlela yokuziphatha yesini esifanayo kukuzama ukubuyisela utata wakho Ukungabikho kwesi sinamatheliso kuncitshiswa isenzo sobufanasini, iingcinga ezimnandi kunye nokucinga. Kodwa ayisiyiyo yonke into ebilayo ehla kuphela kukungakwazi ukunamathela kwinkqubo kabawo-unyana. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukunqongophala kokuncamatheliswa kunokubangelwa ziingxaki zohlengahlengiso kwinkqubo yo "mama-nyana". Ukusebenza konyango olubuyisayo lwenziwa ngokusebenzisa iindlela ezivavanya iingxaki zokuqala zokuncamathiselwa kukamama nonyana.
Kwisahluko esinikezelwe ekucebiseni ulutsha kunye nezinto ezikhethekileyo zokulungiswa kwabo, uDkt Nicolosi unika ingxelo ngempembelelo embi yezinto zentlalo ekubunjweni kwesazisi sesini kunye nolwalathiso lomnqweno wesini. Sithetha ngokunyuka kwenani labafundi abazijonga njengabantu abathandana nesini esinye okanye abathandana nabantu besini esinye, kunye nokwanda kwenani lolutsha olunengxaki yobuni babo ngokwesondo. Inani labaphumayo nalo lihlala lisanda. Udibanisa ngokuthe ngqo oku kunye nokunyuka kokuthandwa kwe "gayism" njengento efashiniweyo kunye nebonakalayo.
Kwincwadi yakhe, uGqr. UNicholas uphawula izigaba ezine zokuzazisa kwabantu abungqingili ezinxulunyaniswa namaxesha athile obudala, kunye nokuphakama pregender и postgender ubufanasini, obugqityiweyo, ngokulandelanayo, kwi-80 kunye ne-20% yamatyala.
Ukwahluka kokuqala kokudityaniswa nokunxibelelana nosapho kwengqondo yosapho. Ngokoluvo lwakhe, imodeli yosapho "eyakha unyana ongungqingili" ngokufuthi ayikwazi ukuqinisekisa ukuba umntu oyindoda uyindoda xa sele ekwenziweni. (Ukuboniswa kolwazelelelo kukwakhiwa kwethiyoloji kwengqondo, kubonisa ukuphuculwa komntu ngokudityaniswa kwengqondo kunye nokungazi.) Umsebenzi wakhe, uGqr. U-Nicholas wayehlala edibana nephethini ethile yosapho, edibanisa ezimbini zeemodeli ezichasene nokukhethwa kwesini - usapho lwakudala kathathu kunye nosapho lobuNtu. Ngokudibeneyo bakwenza oko akubiza ngokuba lusapho kathathu-narcissistic.
Usapho oluxantathu yinkqubo ebandakanya umama wokufundisa ogqithisileyo kunye notata ogxekayo / okhohlakeleyo. Ukuchaza ubuntu bonyana kusapho olunje, uNicolosi umchaza njengomntu onobubele, onamahloni, ongenantlonelo, onobuchule kunye nomfanekiso ngqondweni. Oomama bakholelwa ukuba xa kuthelekiswa nabanye oonyana babo, aba bantwana banolwazelelelo olukhulu kwaye banobubele, izakhono zokuthetha kunye notyekelo lokuthanda ukugqibelela ngakumbi. Iyagxininiswa into yokuba nangona ubushushu buhlala buzimiselwa ngokwebhayoloji, ezinye zezi mpawu (ngakumbi ukungabinamahloni kunye nokuthambeka) zinokufunyanwa. Ubume obuthathaka obunje kwaye obunomtsalane bomntwana bukhuthaza ukuba umama anamathele kuye, okumphambisayo kuphuhliso oluqhelekileyo kwindlela yokuhanjiswa ngendlela eqhelekileyo. Ubudlelwane phakathi kukatata nonyana abongezi. Inkwenkwe ithatha ingqalelo yokuba uyise uvahiwe kwaye ugxekile, akukho kuqonda kunye nokusebenzisana phakathi kwabo, okukhokelela kulwaphulo-mthetho lokumiswa komfana kwesazisi sobudoda. Umgqala utata njengento engakhuselekanga / engafanelekanga ukuba ichongwe. Izigulana zikaNicolosy zihlala zithi: "Andizange ndimqonde utata." "Wayenjani, ebengekho." Wayesoloko egcina iphrofayili esezantsi. " Ubengenakunyanzelwa, njengesikhumbuzo.
Into elandelayo nayo inegalelo elibi kule nto. Kuba umama wahlula unyana wakhe kwabanye abameli bamadoda, ngenxa yeempawu zakhe zengqondo, ethi, ngokoluvo, zimenze alunge ngakumbi kunamanye amadoda, akukho mfuneko yokuba afezekise ubudoda ukuze athathe indawo yakhe emhlabeni. Imeko "Umama wam kunye nathi sichasene nezi zinambuzane zinamandla zesoyikisayo" zenza ukuba kungabikho mfuneko yokwahlukanisa inkwenkwe (ikamva lakhe), ukumthintela ukuba angabinawo amandla obudoda obufunekayo kuye. Isiphumo kukuzimisela komfana ngenxa yeli nxalenye yesazisi, ebengenakuze akwazi ukumisela. Uqala ukumkhangela "kwindawo ethile phaya" kumfanekiso wenye indoda, eyiva umntu onothando, aze ke afumane isondo.
Ukuvavanya indima yabazali ekwakheni ubudoda, uNicolosi uphawula ukuba inkwenkwe ephilayo iyazi kwaye iyavuya ukuba "ayindim ndedwa", kodwa nokuthi "ndiyinkwenkwe". Ngamanye amaxesha, abazali bamohlwaya ngokuziphatha kumadoda kuba bemjonga eyingozi okanye engonwabanga. Ngamanye amaxesha, xa inkwenkwe izalwe inesimo sezulu esibukhali, abazami ukufezekisa ukubonakala kokuchongwa kwindoda, ekuthi kulo inkwenkwe ethile ifune inkxaso ekhethekileyo. Ukuqinisekisa umbono wakhe, uGqr. UNicolosi ubhekisa kwingxelo ka-Stoller yokuba ubudoda yimpumelelo, hayi ayinikiweyo. Usemngciphekweni omkhulu wokuhlaselwa yingqondo eyenzeka ngexesha lokuphuhliswa nokwakhiwa kwamadoda.
Inkwenkwe eyandulela ubungqingili, ubhala uGqr. UNicolosi, ufumana ikhefu lokuthandana nomzali ngamnye ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngokwesiqhelo uziva ngathi utata wakhe uyamhoya okanye umjongela phantsi, kwaye umama wakhe uyamphatha okanye uyamsebenzisa ngokweemvakalelo. Bobabini abazali banokuthi, ngendlela yabo, kangangoko kunokwenzeka kubo, bathande umntwana, kodwa ngexesha lonxibelelwano kwinqanaba elithile babonisa ukuba "u" wakhe wokwenyani akamkelekanga ngandlela-thile.
Xa oku kuphulukana nokuncamathiswa kuvakalelwa ngumntwana okhulele kwinkqubo yentsapho kathathu-ye-narcissistic, iimfuno zakhe ezingafunekiyo zihlala zihleli, kwaye oku kulahleka kugcinwe kwimemori yomzimba. Ngenxa yoko, ulandelelwano olulandelayo lwakhiwe:
I-1) ukulahleka kokuncamathisela okuyisiseko;
I-2) ebangelwa koku kusilela kwesini;
I-3) ukubuyekezwa kweziphene zesini ngomsebenzi wesini.
Ubufanasini, ubhala uG.Nicolosi, yindlela yokuzikhusela ngokuchasene nokuzila ngenxa yokuphulukana nokuncamiseka kokwenyani komnye wabazali. Ukusebenza ngokulila kuya kudibana nokukhohlisa kunye nokugqwetha, iindlela ezimbini ezinamandla zokuzikhusela. Iingcamango ziingcamango eziphosakeleyo eziqhutywa yi-narcissism. Umzekelo wento engekhoyo yile: “Ndikhangela umfazi omhle kakhulu ozikhathaleleyo iimfuno zam nondaziyo ngokupheleleyo. Kuphela kuxa ndifumana enye apho ndibona ukuba ndikulungele ukutshata. " Ngokuchaseneyo, ukugqwetha ziimbono ezingezizo ezisekwe kwihlazo. Ziphuma kwinto eyonakeleyo kwaye zikhokelela ekuzonakaliseni, ekuzonakaliseni nasekuziphatheni okungalunganga. Umzekelo wokugqwethwa yile ngxelo ilandelayo: "Akukho ntombazana iyakuze indifune ukuba iyandazi."
Ukuba izikhohlisi kunye neendlela ezigqwethekileyo ezinengcambu yomntwana okhulelweyo zihlala zingafakwanga, oko ke kusala kukho ukungaphumeleli ngaphakathi. Ukufumana iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo kunye neempawu ezibuhlungu zomzimba ebusweni bezonyango, isiguli siqala ukuziva kakuhle. Ngenxa yokufunda okuphindaphindiweyo kwentlungu, ukutshutshiswa ngokuthe ngcembe kunye nokuhamba kancinci kwesiseko esisiseko sokungafuneki komntu ongathandani naye ngaphandle kwesigulana kuyenzeka, okuya kuthi qatha kwimvelaphi.
Emva kwenkqubo yosizi, utshilo uJ. Nicolosi, abaguli babaqonda ngcono abantu abanefuthe kubomi babo bangaphambili. Le nkqubo ayivuli nje kuphela amehlo abo kumalungu abalulekileyo eentsapho zabo, kodwa ibafundisa ukubaphatha ngokuzonwabisa komntu omdala owala umnqweno awayenawo ngaphambili ukuze abantu abo bangene ngqo ebomini bakhe babengcono okanye babe babi kunaye. zinjalo. Isiphumo sale nkqubo kukwaliwa kwakhona kwemvakalelo yokungazi ukuba wonke umntu unetyala lakho, ukuba abantu ebomini beli xesha kunyanzelekile ukuba basibuyisele izikhalazo zakho zangaphambili. Ukupheliswa kwentlungu kuphela emva kokuba umntu efumene amandla okushiya ubuqhophololo kunye nokugqwetha awayekusebenzisa ukufihla iintlungu zokulahlekelwa. Emva kwentlungu, unokuphila ubomi obucoceke ngakumbi, obunobuntu kwaye obunobunyani.
Umbhali uphawula ukwakhiwa kolwesibini (uhlobo lwasemva kwesini) ngolu hlobo lulandelayo. Ucacisa ukuba isigulana sasemva kwesini sigqibe ngempumelelo isigaba sokuchazwa kwesini, kodwa kamva sahlangabezana nolunye uhlobo lomothuko apho umnqweno we-homoerotic waba ngumlawuli wefuthe. Ukufumana iimpawu zobudoda kunye neendlela ezingezizo ezesetyhini, ezi zigulana zibonakala "zilungile," kodwa kwangaxeshanye baziva ngaphakathi kubo benesidingo esiphazamisayo sothando sobudoda. Ukulimala kwe-postgender kuvame ukubangelwa ngumzalwana okhulileyo, utata, oontanga abanogonyamelo kunye nokuxhaphaza abanye esikolweni. Inokuvela njengesiphumo sokuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo okanye ngenxa yokuba umama "we-eccentric" ongalunganga obangele uloyiko olunamandla kunye nomsindo, isigulana ngoku esisasaza kubo bonke abantu basetyhini kwaye sithintela ukumisela ubudlelwane obubi kunye nabo. La madoda abonakala ngathi “ngabafana rhoqo,” kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo abaqinisekile ngobudoda babo. Umtsalane wesini esifanayo kwizigulana ezinjalo awuqhutywa ngumnqweno wokufumana iimpawu zobudoda yenye indoda, kodwa ngumnqweno wokunciphisa amandla enkxaso ngenkxaso yamadoda kunye nentuthuzelo, eya kunciphisa ixhala labo.
Umbhali uxela ngenguquko yeembono zakhe malunga nobufanasini. Ukuba ngaphambili wayekholelwa ekubeni ubufanasini yayililinge lokuzama ukubuyisela intsilelo yesazisi, ngoku uyayibona njengenye into: kwinqanaba elinzulu, kukuzikhusela kwintlungu enzulu ebangelwe kukuphulukana nokuncamathiselwa. Ubunyani bolu luvo, uyabhala, buqinisekisiwe ngaphezu kwesihlandlo esinye ngamadoda awayebacebisile. Ubufanasini bufihla ukubandezeleka kwelahleko enzulu kwaye busebenza njengokwexeshana (nangona kungazalisekisi) ukuphazamiseka kwintlekele enxulunyaniswa nengxaki ebangelwe kukulahleka kokuncamathiselwa. Ubufanasini obenza into ethile, ngokokuqonda kwakhe, luhlobo lokubuyisela (ukubuyisela), lilinge elingenalwazi lokubuyisela ukungabikho. Ngokutsala umntu wesini sakhe, indoda izama ukugcwalisa iimfuno ezingafezekiswanga zokunikwa ingqalelo, uthando, ukuvunywa ngabameli besini esifanayo, kunye nokuphelisa ukusilela kwesazisi.
I ngcaciso UVyachelav Khalansky, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nonyango kwengqondo.
Uphononongo URobert Perloff, owayesakuba ngumongameli we-American Psychological Association, unjingalwazi ovela kwiYunivesithi yasePittsburgh.
Uphononongo prof. U-Bilobrivki R. I., iNtloko yeSebe lezeMpilo yezeengqondo, Psychology kunye ne-Sexology, iLviv National Medical University UDaniil waseGalitsky.
Uphononongo Hermann Hartfeld, DRS, Theol., PhD.
Uphononongo Umgqatswa weNzululwazi yezePedagogical, Unjingalwazi uGqirha Galina V. Katolik, iNtloko yeSebe lezeMpilo yezeMpilo kunye noNyango lweyunivesithi yaseUkraine, uMongameli weUkraine iZiko lezeNtwana kunye noluNtu lweeNgcali ngezoNyango kunye noCebiso lweSapho, ilungu le-EAP.
Uphononongo UTaras Nikolaevich Dyatlik, uSihlalo weBhodi yeKhansile yeHlabathi yeEvangelical Theological Education, Umlawuli weSithili seBhunga lasePhesheya kwe-Int ye-Euro-Asia, intloko yesebe lokuphuhlisa imfundo ye-Euro-Asia accredation Association.
Uphononongo U-Elena Yaremko, ugqirha wezifo zengqondo, ugqirha wezengqondo (umanyanisi wengqondo yamaKristu); IYunivesithi yaseRoma yase-Ukraine.
Uphononongo U-Kocharyan Garnik Surenovich, MD, unjingalwazi we Sebe Lezesayensi, ugqirha Wengqondo, Unyango lwezoNyango kunye noNyango lweeNgqondo kwiKholeji yezoNyango yeKharkov yezeMfundo ePhumeleleyo
Ulwazi ngokubanzi malunga nombhali, amanqaku kunye neencwadi zakhe (kwindawo kawonke wonke) zisiwe kwiwebhusayithi yakhe http://gskochar.narod.ru
inqaku elimnandi
Akukho nto ithi "kukuzalwa kwabantu besini esinye." Olu luphawu oludlulileyo kunye nolungenasiseko sepropaganda yobufanasini.
Funda ngakumbi: https://pro-lgbt.ru/285/
Indawo ilungile kakhulu kwaye ndifunde okuninzi apha, kodwa ngaba zikho izifundo zesayensi ezingqina ukuba abantu abathandana besini esinye "bangaphambili" banobuchopho obufana nobuchopho obungafaniyo? Njengoko ndiyazi, ngaphandle kokuphembelela ingqondo, i-orientation ayiyi kutshintsha.