Utsho uJoseph Nicolosi, uGqirha wePsychology:
Njengogqirha wengqondo ophatha amadoda athandana nobungqingili, ndibukele ndinesingqala indlela intshukumo ye-LGBT eqinisekisa ngayo umhlaba ukuba umbono wokuba “gay” ufuna ukucingisisa ngokupheleleyo komntu.
Uluntu lweeengqondo zengqondo lubekwa ityala ikakhulu ngokufakwa endaweni yamagama. Ngaphambili, wonke umntu wayevuma ukuba esiqhelo "yile nto isebenza ngokungqinelana nolwaziso lwayo." Kwakungekho nto kuthiwa "ngumntu onobufanasini," kuba bonke ubuntu buchazwa njengendalo kunye nobungqingili. Ngaphezulu kweminyaka yam ye-30 yokuziqhelanisa neklinikhi, ndaye ndangqina ngenyaniso yokuqonda kokuqala.
Ubufanasini, ngokoluvo lwam, ngokuyintloko luphawu lomngcipheko wesini. Ukuziphatha kwabantu abathandana besini esifanayo luphawu lokuzama 'ukufumana' inxeba eliphambili, lahlukanisa inkwenkwe kwimo yendoda, engasibonisanga. Oku kwahlula le ndlela yokuziphatha kwabantu abatshatileyo, eyenzeka ngokwendalo kwinkqubo yokuphazamiseka yokwaziwa kwesini. Eyona mbambano iphambili kwiimeko ezininzi zokuthandana kwabantu abathandana besini esinye ibonakala ngoluhlobo: umntwana, oqheleke kakhulu kwaye oqheleke ukuba neemvakalelo ezothusayo kune-avareji, ulindele uthando nokwamkelwa ngumzali wesini esifanayo, kodwa kwangaxeshanye uziva uphoxekile kwaye unomsindo kuye, kuba oku umzali ubonwa ngumntwana njengongakhathaliyo okanye ongqongqo. (Qaphela ukuba abazalwana noodade balo mntwana banokumjonga ngendlela efanayo umzali).
Ukuqhelisela amafanasini kukwakha ngokutsha ubudlelwane bobuhlobo bothando. Njengazo zonke izinto ezigwenxa, umtsalane wesini esifanayo uhlala unendawo yangaphakathi yentiyo. Ndisebenzisa eli gama, ingekuko ukukhubekisa nabani na, kodwa kwimo yokuba ukukhula kobungqingili “kugqwetha”, oko kukuthi, “kugxotha abantu” kwinto echaphazela indalo.
Ke, ubufanasini busisiseko kwiimpikiswano: ungqubano lokwamkela isini sendalo, ungquzulwano kubudlelwane bomzali nomntwana, kwaye, njengomgaqo, ungquzulwano lokungakhatywa ngabalingane besini esifanayo. Kwaye oku kuthetha ukuba imodeli yokungeniswa kolawulo iya kuvela inefuthe elonakalisayo kubudlelwane besini esifanayo. Kwindoda enobufanasini, ubufanasini yinto yokuzama ukulawula abanye abantu. Isebenza njengophawu “lomnini” womnye umntu, kwaye ihlala ibandakanya ubundilele ngaphezu kothando.
Uninzi lwabantu abathandana besini esifanayo bathi baxhatshazwa ngokwesini ngamadoda ebuntwaneni. Ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwesini kukwanobundlobongela, kuba bafihlwe luthando. Nantsi enye ingxelo yezigulana ezithetha ngomntu osele ekhulile owayemhlukumeza:
“Ndandifuna uthando nokuhoywa, kwaye yonke into yayididekile ngesondo. Ngelo xesha, ndandingenomdla wesini kwamanye amakhwenkwe. Ndacinga ukuba (umlukuhli) upholile. Akazange andihoye, kuphela xa efuna ukonwaba kunye nam. Xa ubudlelwane bethu baba ngokwesondo, yayiyinto ekhethekileyo, inomdla kwaye inamandla, ngokungathi kukho imfihlo phakathi kwethu. Andizange ndibenabanye abahlobo, kwaye ulwalamano lwam olubi notata aluzange lundincede. Bendifuna ubuhlobo ... (kodwa) ezi nkumbulo ziyandikhathaza ... ndiyabacaphukela. Konke oku kuyenyanyeka, akulunganga .... Esi sizathu sokutsala kwam kwisini sam.
Unxibelelwano phakathi kobundlobongela obudlulileyo kunye nokuziphatha kwesitabane namhlanje kwisigulana ngumzekelo wokuphindaphinda. Ngokukhangela uthando kunye nokwamkelwa, uzibona ebambekile kwisimo esiphindaphindayo somfanekiso okhokelela ekuzenzakaliseni nasekuzithobiseni, ngoncedo apho ngokungazi afune ukuphumelela uloyiso lokugqibela kunye nokuphilisa ukwenzakala kwakhe. Ukuphindaphinda okunyanzeliswa kubandakanya izinto ezintathu: i-1) ukuzama ukuzeyisa, i-2) uhlobo lokuziphindezela, i-3) ukuphepha ukungqubana okungangqubaniyo.
Kwabantu abanjalo, umnqweno wokuziqonda ngokwabo ngokutsaleleka kubantu besini esinye uyavuselelwa luloyiko lokuba ukuzithemba kwabo abangamadoda kuya kusilela ngokuqinisekileyo kwaye kukhokelela ekuhlazisweni. Banyula isiko lokuphinda bavelise amava angaphambili benethemba lokuba, ngokungafaniyo namatyala angaphambili, "ngeli xesha ndiya kuthi ekugqibeleni ndiyifumane into endiyifunayo: ngalo mntu ndiya kuzifumanela amandla endoda" kunye "neli xesha lokuziva ungenaxinzelelo lokuziva ulilolo ngaphakathi Ekugqibeleni anyamalale. ”Endaweni yoko, unika le ndoda ilandelayo amandla ukuze imale, ihlazise kwaye imenze azive engento yanto. Xa lo mkhwa uneentloni udlalwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo, oko komeleza ukuqiniseka kwakhe ukuba ulixhoba elingenathemba kwaye akafanelanga uthando.
Abantu abathandana besini esifanayo bavuma ukunxanelwa "i-adrenaline rush", ekhuthaza into yokoyika kwangaphambili. Kukho i-subculture epheleleyo yesini eqhuba ngokwesondo kwiindawo zikawonke-wonke, bayayonwabela ukuyenza kwiindawo ezinjengepaki, izindlu zangasese zikawonke-wonke kunye neendawo zokupaka. Ukuvuselela inkanuko yabo kuyaphuciswa luloyiko lokuba banokubanjwa bebambene ngesandla.
Yenza ngokwakho isodomy Eyona nto ibalulekileyo Ukulalana ngokwasentlalweni, njengokwaphula injongo yomzimba wethu, akunampilo kwaye kuthomalalisa ngokwasemzimbeni, kwaye kubandakanya nomonakalo kwi-rectum kunye nokusasazeka kwezifo, ngenxa yokuba izicubu zamathumbu ziba buthathaka kwaye zibuthuntu. Ngokwengqondo, esi senzo sihlazisa isidima somntu kunye nobudoda. Ukuzibandakanya ngokwesondo okunyanzelekileyo, nayo yonke idrama yayo kunye nezithembiso zokwoneliseka, efihla umnqweno onzulu, wokuqala onempilo wokufumana ulwalamano oluqinisekileyo. Oku kusivulela ifestile yokuba siqonde ukuba kutheni uluntu lwe-gay luqhubeka nokungoneliseki kakhulu, ngaphandle kwempumelelo engakhange ibonwe ukwamkelwa koluntu.
Ukungasebenzi kwelizwe lomntu wesini gay akuchaphazeleka. Uphando lusinika ubungqina boku kuthelekiswa okungekho ngqiqweni kunye namadoda angatshatanga:
Ukunyanzelwa ngokwesini phakathi kwabantu abathandana besini esinye ngaphezulu kwamaxesha amathandathu.
• Abantu abathandana besini esifanayo baxhaphaza amaqabane abo izihlandlo ezithathu.
• Abantu abathandana besini esifanayo babonisa imikhwa emibi kakhulu.
Ukuxhaphaka kwezifo ezinxulumene noxinzelelo kunye nexhala ziphantse zaphindeka kathathu.
Ukuphazamiseka engqondweni kuyenzeka rhoqo amaxesha amane.
Ukuphazamiseka kobuntu kwi-Bipolar - ngaphezulu kwamaxesha amahlanu.
Ukuziphatha okungafanelekanga- kuphantse kane.
I-agoraphobia (ukoyika ukubakho kwiindawo zikawonke-wonke) -kuphindwe kathandathu.
Ukuphazamiseka okungapheliyo- amaxesha asixhenxe rhoqo.
• Ukuzilimaza okwenzakalisayo (utyekelo lokuzibulala) ukuya kumaxesha e-10 rhoqo.
• Intsholongwane yeNicotine - izihlandlo ezihlanu ephindaphindiweyo.
• Ukhoboka lotywala phantse luphindwe kathathu.
• Ezinye iintlobo zokulutha iziyobisi zingaphezulu amaxesha amane zixhaphake kakhulu.
Ukwabelana ngesondo ngokungekho mthethweni kuboniswe kakuhle kwizifundo zakudala zikaMcUirter noMatison, ababhale kwincwadi yabo ethi Indoda Couple (1984) ngolwalamano lwe165 abalubonileyo, hayi isibini esitshatileyo sakwazi ukuhlala sithembekile ngaphezulu kweminyaka emihlanu. Ababhali, bengabantu abathandanayo besini esinye, bamangaliswa kukufumanisa ukuba ukukrexeza kwakungoneli nje ekutshabalaliseni ixesha lobudlelwane, kodwa kwakuyimfuneko nokuba kugcinwe. Baqukumbela ngelithi: "Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu edibanisa izibini kunye emva kweminyaka elishumi yokuhlala kunye kukusilela kwemvakalelo yobunini omnye komnye" (iphe. 256).
Ubufanasini abunantsingiselo kwindalo, ngaphandle nje kokuba luphawu kunye nesiphumo sesigameko esibuhlungu. Ngaphandle koko, le ayisiyonto yeli lizwe, intsomi eyilwe kwilize kunye neenkanuko. Kodwa ngoncedo lweendaba, iHollywood kunye nabezopolitiko abaphetheyo (ubukhulu becala bulela ulawulo luka-Obama), kwafunyanwa inkcazo entsha yomntu. Obu bucukubhede beelwimi badale intsomi, equka iingcinga ezingekho ngqiqweni kunye nokukhohlisa, obambe inyani. I-classical anthropology yaguqulwa yajongiswa phantsi, kwaye kwaqanjwa indoda entsha. Xa umntu elengisa ilebheli "gay", akazikhetheli kwindalo kwaye azithathele ngokwakhe inxaxheba ngokugqibeleleyo kwisiphelo soluntu.
Ukusuka kutata uye kunyana, kwaye ukuya kumzukulwana, ukuya kumzukulwana, imbewu yomntu kukudibana kwayo nazo zonke izizukulwana. Nge-DNA, uyaqhubeka ephila emva kokuba efile. Kanye esizalweni somfazi, imbewu yakhe ivelisa ubomi obutsha bomntu. Kodwa ngobufanasini, imbewu yobomi imane inyamalala ekuwohlokeni nasekufeni. Kwisenzo sendalo sokulalana, uluntu luyagcinwa, kwaye umntu uyaqhubeka nokuphila kwizizukulwana ezizayo. Kodwa kwisini esiphazanyiswa sisizi, esophula eyona njongo yomzimba wethu, amandla ayo emvelo akhokelela ekufeni nasekukhutshweni. Ke, ilungiselelo lobulumko lomzimba libonisa lo mahluko: ubomi obutsha okanye ukubola nokufa.
Akumangalisi ukuba sibona ukungoneliseki okungako kwihlabathi lesini, kungekuphela nje ngenxa yokungavunyelwa koluntu, kodwa ngenxa yokuba umntu ophila kweli lizwe uziva elilize lesazisi. Imela ukuyekiswa kweenkulungwane zeminyaka yookhokho bakhe, ababenxulumana omnye komnye ngemitshato yendalo kangangeenkulungwane ezininzi. Kwilizwe lokwenyani, ukufunyanwa kwesitabane akwenzi mfuneko. Ubufanasini luphawu nje lwembuyekezo echaziweyo yokulahleka kokuncamatheliswa.
Jeetje, heftig stigmatiserende umbhalo. Zo verdrietig dat dit geschreven yi. Wat bijzonder, dat hetero's geen enkel ingxaki yefetish hebben, ye? Oh wacht.. ja, dit is toch echt wel .ru :(. Laat mensen alsjeblieft yadibana nerust, laat ze, alsjeblieft, en ga met je eigen onvrede en heersdrang om. En bij al die tegenwind, Ja dan gaan mensen de pijn verdoven, ik ga me verder niet verdedigen.
laat de kinderen wadibana nomhlwa. ndigobile gevaarlijk. heteroseksuele fetisjen merken geen normale seks op. geef toe dat je ebnormaal bent en laat de kinderen met rust met je propaganda. het maakt ons niet uit hoe je seks hebt, maar je wilt de kinderen van normale mensen hersenspoelen en de normalisatie van hun deshiadatie opleggen. je bent ziek en gevaarlijk. I-Westen ijikeleze i-Veranderd, kwaye ifuna ukumisa i-totdat kwi-planeet infecteert.