Uninzi lwezixhobo ezingezantsi zipapashwa kwingxelo yohlalutyo. "Iintsomi ezenziwa ngabantu abathandana abathandanayo kwaye zibhengeza ukukhanya kwesayensi". ikhonkco:10.12731/978-5-907208-04-9, ISBN 978-5-907208-04-9

Intshayelelo

Enye yeempikiswano zabaphembeleli bombutho we- “LGBT” kukuba ukusebenzisana kwabantu abathandana nesini yinto eyabizwa njalo. "Iintsapho ezinobungqingili" - kusenokwenzeka ukuba azifani kwiintsapho ezingatshatanga ezineempawu zesiko kunye nembono yehlabathi. Umfanekiso osasazwayo kumajelo osasazo ngowokuba ubudlelwane bobungqingili buphilile, buzinzile kwaye bunothando njengobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo besini esinye, okanye buze babugqithise. Lo mfanekiso awuyonyani, kwaye uninzi lwabameli babantu abathandana nabantu besini esifanayo bayayivuma ngokunyaniseka. Abantu besini esifanayo ababandakanyeka kubudlelwane bezesondo basemngciphekweni okonyukayo wee-STDs, trauma emzimbeni, ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo, ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, ukuzibulala kunye nobundlobongela beqabane. Eli nqaku liza kugxila kwizinto ezintathu ezibalulekileyo zobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu besini esahlukileyo ezibenza bahlukane nomntu wesini esahlukileyo:
Ukuziphatha okubi kunye nokuziphatha okunxulumene noko;
• ubudlelwane bexesha nje elifutshane kunye nelingezizo ezomtshato omnye;
• ukunyuka kwamanani obundlobongela kwintsebenziswano.

Iziqulatho:

ISITHEMBISO
SEX KWIINDAWO ZOLUNTU
"GAY SAUNAS"
INANI LOKUQALA LABADLALI
UKUQHUTYWA
UKUFAKWA KWESIQINISEKISO KUNYE NOKUNGEKHO MTHETHAZI KWENXAXHEBA YENKCAZO
UMNYANGO WOKUXHASA INXAXHEBA

Iziphumo eziphambili

(1) Kubudlelane bokwabelana ngesondo kunye nabantu abathandanayo, ngakumbi phakathi kwamadoda, kukho inqanaba eliphezulu lokuziphatha okubi ngokwesini kunakubantu abathandanayo.
(2) Ubuqabane obufanasini kunye "nemitshato" zizinto ezivulekileyo ngokwesondo "ezivulekileyo" - bavumela ubudlelwane bezesondo ngaphandle kwesibini.
(3) Ngokomyinge, amaqabane abhaliswe ngokusemthethweni kunye “nemitshato” amafutshane kakhulu kunemitshato engafaniyo.
(4) Amanqanaba obundlobongela kubudlelane bokwabelana ngesondo kunye nabantu abatshatileyo, ingakumbi phakathi kwabasetyhini, aphezulu kunakubantu abathandanayo.

Ukuziphatha okubi

Kubudlelwane obuphathelele kwezesondo phakathi kwamadoda, ukuziphatha okubi kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwayeyona nto iphambili ekusasazeni ii-STD. Ukuthathwa komntu ongaBungqingili bobufanasini 'zesazisi' kunye nokubandakanyeka kwakhe kwimbutho ye "LGBT" kukhulisa kakhulu ukuzonwabisa kwakhe ngokwesondo (UVan de ven xnumx) Intatheli eyaziwayo ye-gay Randy Shilts iqatshelwekukuziphatha kakubi oku "Ngaba besingumba ophambili wentshukumo egwenxa ye-GNUMX's" (Iifestile 1987). Isishwankathelo sobungqingili uGabriel Rotello wabhala ukuba intshukumo “yesini” isekwe:

"... ubudlelwane bezesondo bokuziphatha okubi kunye nakuphi na ukuphambuka kule ndlela yokuziphatha okubi kuya kuthetha ukuvukela umbuso ngesikali esikhulu ..." (URotello 1998)

Inkanuko, i-sodomy, i-phalluses, kunye ne-pornography yokubonisa ukuziphatha kakubi kunye namaqabane amaninzi yizona zinto zihamba phambili kwiincwadi zobungqingili, isiteji, ubugcisa obubonakalayo kunye nezinye iindlela zobugcisa.

Lo mfanekiso useludongeni lwezindlu zangasese zikawonke-wonke zaseNew York wenziwa yinkwenkwezi yaseMelika yaseMelika uKeith Haring ngembeko yeminyaka engama-20 yoqhushululu lwaseStonewall. Ngaphantsi konyaka udlulile, njengombhali wobu bugcisa, kuchaziwe njani "Umrhumo ngeentsuku ezingenakunyanzelwa zesini sendlu yangasese" и "Uloyiso oluhle nolungenakuphikiswa lokuthandana ngesini gay"wasweleka ngenxa ye-AIDS eneminyaka eyi-31.

Ubhubhane kaGawulayo oqubuke ekuqaleni kwe-1980 kuphela unciphise ukungabi naluthando ngokwesondo kwamadoda athandana nabantu abatshatileyo, kwaye ke emva kwethutyana nje elifutshane. Ukukhula okunyamezelayo kuluntu olufanasini kunye nokuphuhliswa kwamachiza kunyango kunye nokuthintela uGawulayo kuye kwanegalelo ekuqaliseni kwenqanaba lokuziphatha okubi, ngoku eliququzelelwa kakhulu ziziza ezininzi zokuthandana kunye nokusebenzisa iifowuni eziphathwayo.

"I-Grindr" yeyona geo-indawo eyaziwayo yesicelo, esivumela i-GPS ukuba ichonge umgama oya kujolisa kuwo ngokwesini. I-logo yayo yentsusa, ukukhumbuza imiqondiso "Ungangeni kuyo" okanye "Inetyhefu yetyhefu", ngokuthetha ngokungafihlisiyo kubonise ukuba iinkonzo ezinikezelayo zingabeka ubomi emngciphekweni. Njengoko kubonisiwe kufunda, malunga ne-50% yabasebenzisi bezicelo ezinjalo abazisebenzisi iikhondom. Isicelo kwakhona isetyenzisiwe abadlwenguli, abaphangi kunye nababulali abangoo serial. Umbhali wobungqingili kunye nomtshutshisi uGary Lambert zifunyenweukuba akukho nanye indoda eneminyaka eyi-50 enobungqingili ebengayi kwazi umntu omnye ukuba abulawe ngexesha lokwazana ngengozi. Ngokuka-Lambert, imfuno engqongqo yokwabelana ngesondo iyalawula ulwazi lwe “gay,” kwaye uninzi lwazo eyona njongo iphambili ebomini yile:

“… Ukubonakaliswa kweengcinga zabo ezinenkanuko kunye nokufezekiswa kolwalamano olusenyongweni namanye amadoda. Isongelo sosulelo lwe-HIV siqinisa iminqweno yabo kuphela, kuba okukhona kukho ingozi enkulu, kokukhona kuthi qatha imvakaleloU-Lambert 1993).

Oko kwathethwa nguLambert kuvakalisa amava alowo owayengumongameli we-American Psychological Association, uNicholas Cummings, owayeqhuba ikliniki eSan Francisco:

“Kuluntu phakathi kwezitabane, ubudlelwane bezesondo buvuleke ngokupheleleyo kwaye bungumbala; yayiyeyona ndlela iphambili yonxibelelwano. Ngale mvakwemini, wonke umntu waya ekhangelela ezesondo eBuena Vista Park, kwaye yayilungile loo nto, kuba wonke umntu wayelapho ngenxa yayo. Isini esingaziwayo saphenduka fetish. Kule minyaka, kwakunzima ukufumana indlu yangasese yamadoda ngaphandle komngxuma eludongeni lwekhabhathi. Kwakukho ii-booth ezikhethekileyo kwi-cinema zesini apho undwendwe lwaluthe nca lubukele iifilimu ze-porn, kwaye ngelo xesha umntu wangena ebhafini, wenza i-anal sex kuye kwaye wemka, wayengazi nokuba ngubani. Yayithandwa kakhulu.
Kwakukho imivalo apho iindwendwe zazinxibe kuphela ii-chapboy ze-cowboy (imilenze yesikhumba ene-groin evulekileyo), oko kukuthi, enyanisweni, babenqunu. Kweminye imivalo kukho iibhafu zokuchama, kwaye umntu wayenokungena kuzo, ngelixa ezinye zichama kuye. Kwakuxhaphake kakhulu.
ESan Francisco, kukho itonela kaloliwe elahliweyo, apho ebusuku ebumnyameni ngokupheleleyo amaqabane afunyanwa ukuba achukumise. Nje ukuba babulele umntu apho, kwaba ezindabeni, kwaye ucinga ntoni? -Inani leendwendwe lonyuke amaxesha e-4.
Ndandinabaguli abangakwaziyo ukuba neentlobano zesini kunye neqabane elinye kabini. Ndaye ndatyelelwa nazizigulana ezazidiniwe bubudlelwane bexesha elifutshane. Uninzi lolwalamano lobufanasini luhlala malunga neenyanga ze-3. Wonke umntu uxakekile ekhangela "lowo". Ndazihlekisa ngezigulana, ndibaxelela ukuba kuphando lwabo bagqiba kwelokuba balale kunye nesixeko sonke, kungenjalo akuyi kuqinisekiswa ukuba abaphoswa "yileya", kwaye bahleka, bathi: "Kodwa uqonde ngokuchanekileyo, u-doc" "(Ukuncipha xnumx).

Umseki wombutho wabantu abathandana nabesini gingci eUSA, uHarry Haye, waxoxa ngelithi, amafanasini angabanxibelelani kumagumbi okuphumla okanye iipaki zezamalungelo “oluntu” kwaye naliphi na ilinge lokumisa lo mthetho wokuphathwa gadalala luluntu “ngamapolisa” kwaye “nengcinezelo” (I-Jennings xnumx).

Iitshantliziyo zesini phakathi kwabantu abathandana nabo uKirk kunye noMadsen, bethetha ngemicimbi yokuziphatha kobufanasini encwadini “After The BallBhala oku kulandelayo:

“Mhlawumbi eyona ndlela imbi yokuziphatha engathandekiyo ngabantu besini esidlangalaleni ... Zonke izixeko ezikhulu eMelika. Aba bantu abenzi nzame zokuqinisekisa ukugcinwa kwemfihlo kwemisebenzi yabo, nokuba balinde ukuzola kokuhamba kweendwendwe. Nangona kunjalo, kuninzi, ukubanakho ukubanjwa ngesandla sesithathu yikota yovuyo. Baphulula amalungu esini kwimichamo, bazula ze ze kwigumbi, bahlangana omnye nomnye kwiindawo ezinesitayile kwindawo evulekileyo. Xa bethulula incindi yobudoda- kwizihlalo zangasese, ezindongeni okanye emigangatho - bayishiya iqabile apho kwimidike ecekisekayo nenokuchongeka ngokulula ... Kubonakala kungakholeleki ukuba amadoda athandana namanye amadoda anokungakhathali, kodwa uninzi lwawo lulawulwa ngakumbi ngamalungu abo obudoda kunobuchopho bawo ... Kuyamangalisa, abanye Izitabane ziyaqiniseka ukuba zinelungelo lokufumana la maqhinga kwizindlu zangasese zikawonke-wonke nakwiipaki, ngokungathi zenziwe ngokukodwa njengendawo yokudlala ngokwesondo. Abanye baye bacaphukele iindwendwe ezithi, kanye eRoma, zingafuni kuziphatha njengamaRoma ... Imithombo yeendaba engqingili iyazigxeka naziphi na izimvo zokuba ezi prank zikawonke-wonke ziyinto embi, kwaye igweba imizamo yamapolisa yokuphelisa lo nto. 'njengokuhlukunyezwa kwabantu besini esinye' ... " (I-Kirk kunye neMadsen 1990).

Kwi-1978, umdlali weqonga wase Melika uLarry Kramer, owaziwa ngokukhetha kwakhe umntu ongatshatanga naye, wabhala inoveli ebizwa ngokuba "ngamafanasini"¹, ebangele isaqhwithi sokucaphuka kweentshutshiso ze-LGBT + -intshukumo kwanemfuno yokulivala (IBaim xnumx) Kwaye konke kuba inoveli, njengoko uKramer ngokwakhe watshoyo, yabonisa ubunyani bokwenyani bobufanasini. Inoveli yenzeka kwiiklabhu ezikhethekileyo kunye nakwi-saunas, ezilawulwa ngokuziphatha okubi ngokwesini, i-sadomasochistic orgies kunye nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi. Kwinkcazo yencwadi yakhe, uKramer uthe:

"... Yintoni embi kangaka endiyenzileyo? Inyaniso ndiyichazile. Ndenze ntoni? Ndisandul 'ukuxela le nyaniso iyiyo kuye wonke umntu endakha ndamazi ... "(IBaim xnumx).

Emva koko, kwinqaku elipapashwe kwiphephancwadi lobufanasini elithi "Umthetheleli," uKramer wabhala oku kulandelayo:

“UGawulayo phakathi kwamadoda athandana namanye akaya ndawo ... Awunakukhetha umntu ongakhethiyo kunye namaqabane amaninzi enza okufanayo ngaphandle kokusasaza isifo ebesisoloko sibulala iminyaka emininzi. Indalo ihlala ithatha ixabiso lokuziphatha gwenxa ngokwesondo ... Kufuneka senze inkcubeko entsha engasikelwanga mda buhlungu kwaye ijolise ekuthabathekeni kwethu ngobudoda nakwinto esiyenzayo nabo. " (IKramer 1997)

"Gay saunas"

Ngaphandle kophuhliso lwetekhnoloji ye-Intanethi, ebizwa ngokuba. "Gay saunas", ekhoyo ngeenjongo zokungaqhakamshelana nabantu abangaziwayo kwaye badlale indima ebalulekileyo ekusasazeni usulelo lwe-HIV, qhubela phambili ukuchuma kwezixeko ezininzi. Uphononongo lwe-2003 lonyaka lubonise ukuba ngaphezulu kwe-30% yamadoda athandana nabantu abatshatileyo baya kwezi ndawo zinenani eliqhelekileyo lamaqabane ezesondo malunga nabantu be27 ngonyaka (Iinkuni xnumx) Ebumnyameni obuphakathi kwenye yezi "saunas," iminyaka emithathu emva kokuxilongwa kwaye kwade kwangoko wasweleka, wazibulala ngesondo engakhuselekanga 250 amaqabane ngonyaka UGaetan Duga, eye yaba yenye yezona ziphambili ekusasazeni i-HIV e-United States. Injalo indlela uyachaza "Gay sauna" owayefudula engungqingili uJoseph Schiambra, omlukumezo wasuswa kuye wasuswa ngokuyinxalenye yereum kwaye waphantse wabeka ubomi bakhe:

“Ubeko olu luqulathe uthotho lweendawo ezingaqhelekanga ezithe zaya zimnyama njengoko sasisiya sisiba nzulu. Ukuhonjiswa kubandakanya zonke izinto ezenziwa ngobudoda: i-chrome e-polished, ii-cushion ezimnyama ze-vinyl kunye nemizobo eyakhiweyo yomzimba. Imimandla ngaphambili yayiyeyona ineenkcukacha, ngasemva yayingamagumbi angenanto apeyintiweyo amnyama. Ukwalelwa kwakukhona, kodwa bekukhohlakele, kwaye wonke umntu, nokuba ngabantu abadala kunye nabadala, banokufumana iqabane. Njengento yokugqibela, bekukho amadoda ajikeleza kumagumbi angasemva afuna kuphela umzimba oyindoda onegazi elihamba ngemithambo yakhe. Ndishiye igumbi lokuhlambela ndaza ndaya kwicandelo elikhulu elinikezelwe kwiibhile kunye neebhentshi ezahlukeneyo zoqeqesho. Iindonga ezingwevu zompu zazifana nevenkile yomatshini okanye igaraji. Ndinokwenza kuphela ulwandlalo olungaqondakaliyo olufana neefom zabantu. Ngaphambili ndandingenakukwazi ukwenza ibhentshi ebuxande ebumdaka, eyayifana nomgangatho, yayigqunywe ngezinto ezimnyama. Ukoyama phezu kwesitulo, amadoda amaninzi ahamba ze ayeguqe ngamadolo. Bendingaziboni iintloko okanye ubuso babo, kuphela ziimpundu zabo eziphakanyisiweyo. Ndime ndingashukumi imizuzwana embalwa. Nantsi. Ndifikelele kwincopho yeminqweno yam enzulu. Isiphelo sokwenene sayo yonke indoda eyindoda esisitabane kukuguqa, isasaze iimpundu zayo, ngethemba lokuba kuya kuvela indoda ethile. "I-Sciambra xnumx).

Iifestile приводит IZiko le-1982 loLawulo lweSifo (CDC) 50 uphononongo lwabantu abathandana abatshatileyo GRID (eyayisaziwa ngokuba nguGawulayo). Kwavela ukuba inani eliphakathi lamaqabane ezesondo kwizigulana yayili-1100, kwaye izigulana ezininzi zixele i-20. I-avareji yenani lamaqabane kwiqela elilawula amafanasini ngaphandle kwesifo yayiyi-000. I-Shilts ichaza uburharha obugqithisileyo obugcweleyo kwiindawo zesini ngokungabikho koxinzelelo lwabasetyhini kunye nobuninzi obugqithisileyo be-testosterone:

Akukho nto kwi-subculture yesini gay enokuthi imodareyitha amaxabiso wesini esulungekileyo, eqondwe enxila njengayo nayiphi na imbonakalo yesini esahlukileyo angazange aphuphe ngayo. Ukuziphatha okubi kuxhaphakile, kuba kwindawo ephantsi kwamadoda kuphela, akukho mntu unokuthi hayi. Akukho mntu unendima yokumodareyitha efana naleya yomfazi okwimeko engafaniyo nomntu wesini esinye. Abanye abantu abathandana abatshatileyo bavumile ukuba bayonwaba ngombono okhawulezileyo, ofikelelekayo, nokuba nesini esingaziwayo esibonelelwa ngabantu abathandanayo ngokwesini ukuba banokufumana kuphela amabhinqa azimisele ukwenza njalo. Ewe, zifanasini, ndihlala ndivuma. ” (Iifestile 1987)

Kwiklip yevidiyo engezantsi, isigulana esisifo sikagawulayo sibonisa ukuba wayenamaqabane asabelana ngesondo angama-50 ngobusuku nje obunye

Nasi isityhilelo iKirk noMadsen banika:

“Itikiti ekuphela kwalo kubomi bobufanasini kukubonwa, kodwa nokuba ayizukukusindisa ekuphoxekeni ... Ukufika kwakhe esixekweni, wafumanisa ukuba inye kuphela into ejolise kuyo ubomi bobufanasini: f * l ... Xa umntu emncinci kwaye engenamava, obona budlelwane "bevanila" obulula - ukwangana kunye nokuphulula amaphambili - kungaphezulu kokwaneleyo kuye. Le yinto entsha, evunyelweyo, emdaka, kwaye inika umdla. Ixesha elingaphezulu, isini se-vanilla kunye neqabane elinye liyaqhela, liyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye liyadika, kwaye liphulukana namandla alo okuvusa. Ekuqaleni, ubufanasini obufihliweyo bujonga ubutsha kumaqabane, buye buyekeke ngokuziphatha kakubi. Ekugqibeleni yonke imizimba iyadika kuye, kwaye uqala ukujonga ukonwaba kwiindlela ezintsha. Uzama ukubuyisela uyolo lwe-erectile ngezinto ezimdaka nezingavumelekanga zesini, ezinje nge-fetishism, urolagnia, coprophilia, njl. (I-Kirk kunye neMadsen 1990).

Inqanaba lokuziphatha okubi ngokwesondo elichazwe apha ngasentla kuluntu olufanasini luyahambelana nedatha yophando.

Isifundo esenziwe nguBell kunye noogxa bakhe (1978) sinika ingxelo yokuba i-70% yamafanasini yavuma ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphezulu kwe-50% yamaqabane abo kube kanye, i-43% yamafanasini yavuma kwi-500 okanye amaqabane ngaphezulu kobomi babo bonke, i-28% Babonwa kwi-1000 okanye ngaphezulu kubomi babo bonke, kwaye phakathi kwaba bantu, i-79% ithi isiqingatha sawo amaqabane sasingachani ngokupheleleyo kubo, kwaye i-70% yala makhonkco ezesondo ayekho ngobusuku obunye (Intsimbi ye-xnumx) Ngokuka-Pollack kunye noogxa bakhe, i-avareji isini esithandanayo etshintsha ininzi yamaqabane kunyaka ngamnye, kunye namakhulu aliqela kubomi babo bonke (Pollak in I-x xumumx, iphepha 40 - 51).

Ngo-1984, emva kokuqhambuka kwesifo sikaGawulayo, umbutho wobufanasini ukhuthaze amalungu awo ukuba aziphathe kakubi ngokwesondo, kodwa oku akuzange kube nefuthe elomeleleyo: endaweni yamaqabane ama-6 ngenyanga ngo-1982, umndilili ongaphenduliyo eSan Francisco ngo-1984 wabonisa ukuba unxibelelwano malunga namaqabane ama-4 ngenyanga (McKusick 1984²) Kwiminyaka elandelayo, i-CDC yaphawula ukwanda kokuziphatha gwenxa ngokwesini phakathi kwamadoda aselula e-San Francisco: ukusuka kwi-1994 ukuya kwi-1997, umlinganiso wabantu abathandana nobungqingili abaye banxibelelana namaqabane amaninzi kunye nonxibelelwano olungachazwanga lwendabuko luye lwenyuka ukusuka kwi-23,6% ukuya kwi-33,3 iminyaka (I-CDC 1999) Ngaphandle kokungonakali kwayo, i-AIDS ayisabathinteli amafanasini ekuziphatheni okubi (Hoover xnumx; UKelly 1992).

Kuphando olwenziwa ngaphezulu kwama-2583 abantu abathandana nabantu abadala, kwafumaniseka ukuba kwi-avareji baba ne-100 ukuya kumaqabane e-500 ngexesha lokudla kwabo ubomi, ngelixa i-12% yayinamaqabane angaphezu kwe-1000 (UVan de ven xnumx) Kuphononongo olufanayo, kwafumaniseka ukuba kubantu abathandana abatshatileyo, kwaye kunjalo, amathuba okuba namaqabane esini ngaphezulu kwe-50 kwiinyanga zangaphambili ze-6 iphindwe kane kunabantu abathandana nabo abangengawo amalungu alo.UVan de ven xnumx).

Uvavanyo olwenziwe iphephabhuku labathandana abathandanayo, iGenre lubonise ukuba i-24% yabaphenduli bathi banamaqabane ezesondo angaphezu kwekhulu ebomini babo. Iphephabhuku laphawula ukuba abantu abaninzi abaphendulileyo bacebise ukuquka kuvavanyo lodidi "lwamaqabane angaphezu kwewaka lesini" (uLundda Report 1998).

Kwenye uphando, ethathe malunga neenyanga ezi-6, inani eliqhelekileyo labalingani bezesondo kubantu abathandana besini esinye linesifo sengqondo sokudakumba kwesifo sika-A besiyi-68,2. abo baqhelaniswa nobungqingili bahlala phakathi kwiminyaka eli-13. (UCorey 1980).

Idatha enomdla yafunyanwa kwisifundo esenziwe nguBell kunye noogxa (1978) - ababhali, phakathi kwezinye izinto, bavavanya ukuba ngaba abaphenduli babenonxibelelwano lwezesondo kunye nezilwanyana. Phakathi kwamadoda, i-19,5% yamafanasini kunye ne-5,4% yamadoda angabalingani abaphendulweyo kwi-affirmative; phakathi kwabasetyhini abathandanayo, i-6,5% iphendulwe ngoyebo, abafazi abathandanayo baphendula kakubi (Intsimbi ye-xnumx, 1981) Xa ubuzwa malunga nosizi lokulalana, i-26% yamadoda athandana nabantu abatshatileyo, i-4,5% yamadoda athandana nabantu abatshatileyo, i-9,6% yamabhinqa angamafanasini kunye ne-2,7 yabasetyhini abathandanayo abaphendulwayo kwi-affirmative (Intsimbi ye-xnumx).

Kuphononongo lwabantu abathandana abathandanayo, i-41% yayinezivumelwano zesondo ezivulekileyo kunye neemeko ezithile okanye izithintelo, kwaye i-10% yayinezivumelwano zesondo ezivulekileyo ngaphandle kwemida. I-22% ibike ukophulwa kwemiqathango ekuvunyelwene ngayo kwiinyanga ezi-12 zangaphambili, kwaye i-13% yesampula yaxela ulwalamano olungakhuselekanga kwiinyanga ezintathu ezidlulileyo kunye neqabane elingaphandle elinesifo se-HIV esingaziwayo okanye esithandabuzekayo (I-Neilands 2010)

Ukuziphatha okubi kwabafazi abathandana nobungqingili kuyinto eqhelekileyo kunaphakathi kwamadoda athandana nabantu besini esinye, kodwa kusephezulu kunokuba kunjalo phakathi kwabafazi abathandanayo. Kuyamangalisa, ukuba kukho ukubonwa okumangalisayo koncwadi ukuba phakathi kwabafazi ababhinqileyo, inqanaba lokuziphatha ngokwesondo kunye namadoda (!) Liphezulu phakathi kwabafazi abathandanayo. Abaphandi baseOstreliya baxela ukuba kungenzeka ukuba umntu ongumfazi ongathandani naye abe namaqabane angaphezulu kwe-50 ngexesha lokudla kwakhe amaxesha angama-4,5 aphakamileyo kunowabasetyhini abathandanayo abalingani (i-9% vs 2%); kwaye i-93% yabafazi abathandana abathandanayo babelana ngesondo kunye namadoda (Ixabiso 1996; UFerris xnumx).

Uphando lubonakalisile ukuba indlela yokuziphatha ngokwesondo ekhululekile, ihlala iqala esemncinci, inxulumene ngokuqinisekileyo nobufanasini. Abasetyhini abangathintelwanga ngokwesondo banenani elonyukayo lamaqabane ezesondo, uninzi lwabo olunokuba ngamabhinqa. Ngokophando lwakutsha nje, abasetyhini abanamaqabane esini esifanayo banamaqabane esini esahlukileyo (I-Kanazawa xnumx).

Kule minyaka ingamashumi amabini idlulileyo, kuluntu lwesini waba nesini ngakumbi. Imagazini engamanyala, iivenkile zokudlala ngesondo, kunye neenkampani ezibonisa amanyala ezijolise kuwo kwaye zilawulwa ngabasetyhini besini. Iiklabhu zesini zibonisa "Ndiyayithanda ipussy" ngokuhlwa kwaye ngokuzingca “umsebenzi” kwindlu yangasese. Imibutho ye-Lesbian BDSM ikhona kwizixeko eziphambili zase-US, kwaye ipolyamory nayo ixhaphakile.

Ukugoba

Inani eliqwalaselweyo liqokelele ukuba amanye amadoda athandana nabantu abathandana abesilisa abathandana nobungqingili bazenza ngokwabo usulelo lweNTSHOLONGWANE KAGAWULAYO ​​ngokunxibelelana ngesondo nomntu ongabinayo i-HIV. KwisiNgesi, kule meko, amagama athi "umthengisi" asetyenziswa- "umzingeli wezinambuzane" kunye "nomnikeli wesipho" - "onikelayo". Okokuqala, iimeko zosulelo lwe-HIV ngokuzithandela zaxoxwa okokuqala phakathi kwesifo se-HIV, embindini we-80-s, xa amanqaku okuqala esayensi kwesi sihloko avela (UFrances 1985; UFlavin 1986).

Emuva kwi1999, kwinqaku lephephandaba I-SFGate eSan Francisco, kwathiwa abantu ababizwa ngokuba ngama-gay bakhula ngokuthandwa. Russian Roulette okanye Bearbacking Umdlalo wesondo³-imibutho; Oko kukuthi, xa amaqela abafana esithi ahlangane ukuze enze ubufanasini, elandela le mithetho mithathu: akukho zinxibo, akukho khondom kwaye engathethi ngesimo se-HIV, nangona omnye wabathathi-nxaxheba ene-HIV.URussel 1999).

Inkcazo echanekileyo ngakumbi "yokujaha i-bug" yavela kamva-kwi-2003, xa intatheli uGregory Freeman wapapasha inqaku elithi "Ukufuna Ukufa" kwiphephabhuku "I-Rolling Stone", apho wathi kwavela isondo elitsha kubantu abathandana abatshatileyo: xa eyedwa amafanasini afuna ukufumana i-HIV ekujolise kuyo, ngelixa abanye efuna ukuyosulela ngolonwabo (Freeman xnumx, isuswe kwiwebhusayithi yeRolling Stone).

"... Ukosuleleka sisifo i-HIV kubo kukubhukuqa kwetyathiso eliqatha, esona senzo sokwabelana ngesondo esigqibeleleyo esitsala abanye abathandana abathandanayo nabakulungele ukuzama yonke into. Abanye baziva belahlekile kwiqela elihlala ne-HIV ukusuka kuluntu lwabane-gay. Abanini bemithwalo bafuna ukuba yinxalenye yale “klabhu”. Abanye bathi ukuhambisa iingxowa kuvula iminyango yesondo. Kwaye abanye abantu abanakho ukuma kwengcinga yokuba ababonakala ngathi bathandi babo abane-HIV ... "(Freeman xnumx).

Nangona inqaku likaFreeman lazisa ukugxeka kubalingani be-LGBT, intshukumo yabasebenzi abatyhola uFreeman ngokunyanyisa ubungakanani bengxaki okanye ulwazi ngobuqhetseba, ubungqina bezenzululwazi bubonisa izinto ezifanayo kubantu abathandana abathandanayo. Abaphandi uGossier kunye noForthth kwi1999 baqala ngokuchaza kumsebenzi wabo wesayensi umnqweno wosulelo olujolise kwi-HIV phakathi kweengcali zokuziphatha okubi kunye nesini esingakhuselwanga.Ukufumana ignumx) Kwi-2003, uGqirha Richard Tewkesbury wachaza, owokuqala kuluntu lwezenzululwazi, ukuba abantu abathandana nabo “baxhoma” bayisebenzisa njani i-Intanethi kunye neendawo ezithile zothandana (I-Tewksbury 2003; 2006) Kwi-2004, ukuxhaphaka kweendlela ezinjalo phakathi kwabantu abathandana nesini kuchazwe nguCrossley (I-Crossley xnumx) Izifundo ezikhulu zokusetyenziswa kwe-Intanethi phakathi “kwabathengisi” besini esinye zaqhutywa ngabaphandi beGrove kunye noogxa (I-Grov 2006a; 2006b; 2004) Kwi-2007, izazinzulu zaseMelika uMoskowitz kunye noRoloff zichonge izizathu ezahlukeneyo zokuba kutheni abantu abathandana bengatshatanga befuna ukuba bosulelwe yi-HIV: esinye sezizathu kukuba umnqweno wokungena "kubuzalwana babaqalisi", obumanyeneyo kuneqela elingahlukaniyo nelingamadoda.I-Moskowitz 2007a) Esinye isizathu kukungavumi ukuzikhusela kunye nomnqweno wesini ngokukhululekileyo ngaphandle koloyiko lokufumana intsholongwane kaGawulayo. Iqela lesithathu libandakanya abantu abakhanyela uGawulayo kwaye bayayigatya "i-AIDS hysteria" njengemfundiso yobuxoki. I-Moskowitz kunye ne-Roloff bathelekisa ukuhanjiswa kwebhegi ngokuxhomekeka kwezesondo: ngumbono wabo, amadoda afuna ukufumana le ntsholongwane ahlala enesondo esingachazeki, engena rhoqo kwezesondo engakhuselekanga kunye nabantu abaphila ne-HIV kunye nalabo isimo sabo se-HIV esingaziwayo.I-Moskowitz 2007a) Iimpawu zengqondo zabantu abathandana nabantu abathandana nabo "abaxhoma" kunye nezizathu zokuziphatha nazo zichazwa kweminye imisebenzi (I-Moskowitz 2007b; I-LeBlanc 2007; Hatfield 2004; I-Blechner xnumx) Nantsi indlela uyachaza uJoseph Shyambra:

“Ngeli xesha ndandigula kakhulu kangangokuba bendiqinisekile ukuba ndisulelekile. Ndaye ndajoyina uluhlu lwezinto ezingoyikiyo, ezichasene ne-HIV ezingenasiphelo kunye nezo zinesifo. Kula maqela, ukuthantamisa kwesondo elikhuselekileyo bekungabikho konke konke, okanye imeko yovuyo ibishushu kakhulu kwaye umntu eshushu aze ayivule iphakheji ngekhondomu. Abona balandeli banomdla yayilawo aphupha ngokufumana intsholongwane evela kumxhasi one-HIV. Ukungafikeleli ngokupheleleyo kokukhulelwa ngokulalana kwabantu besini esifanayo kushiye ukuqonda okungenabomi kubo bonke abo babandakanyekayo. Imbuyekezo ibandakanya ukwazisa isuntswana elihlawulweyo kwimbungu, enokuloyisa ulusu lwento nganye, lutshintshe umamkeli ngonaphakade. (I-Sciambra xnumx).

Ukuzinza kunye nokungabaluleki kubambiswano

Abantu abathandana besini esinye, nokuba nobudlelwane bexesha elide kunye, kunqabile ukuba bathembeke omnye komnye. Kwintsapho zemveli, kuvavanyo lukazwelonke olupapashwe kwiJenali yoPhando ngeSondo lufumanise ukuba i-77% yamadoda atshatileyo kunye ne-88% yabasetyhini abatshatileyo bayinyani kwizifungo zabo zomtshato (I-Wiederman xnumx) Kolunye uvavanyo lukazwelonke, kwafumaniseka ukuba i-75% yabayeni kunye ne-85% yabafazi ayikaze ibe neentlobano zesini ngaphandle komtshato (I-Laumann xnumx) Uvavanyo lwefowuni lwabaphenduli abadala be1049 kwiParade Magazine lubonise: I-81% yamadoda atshatileyo kunye ne-85% yabasetyhini abatshatileyo baxela ukuba azizophuli izifungo zabo zomtshato (PR Newswire 1994). Ngokokuphononongwa kwedatha ye-1995, i-83% yamadoda kunye ne-95% yabasetyhini baxele i-monogamy (I-Paik 2010) Ke, ubudlelwane bendabuko ngokwesini, kubandakanya umtshato - umdibaniso wendoda kunye nowasetyhini - zizinto ezithandwayo ngokwesini, oko kukuthi, iintlobano zesini ngaphandle komtshato azamkeleki.

Ngokubhekisele kubudlelwane bobungqingili, kubandakanya abo babhaliswe ngokusemthethweni, ubudlelwane obunjalo abukho ngokwesini ubukhulu becala - ngokomndilili, iqabane ngalinye linonxibelelwano olufanayo ngexesha lonyaka (IRosenberg 2011) Isifundo sikaMcWhirter (1985) sifumanise ukuba ixesha le-1 ukuya kwi-5, yi-4,5% kuphela yabantu abathandana abatshatileyo abaxela ukuba ngumfazi omnye, kwaye kunexesha elingaphezulu kwe-5, ayikho. Ababhali bagqibe kwelokuba:

“Ukulindelwa kwezenzo zesondo zangaphandle ngumgaqo wabantu abatshatileyo ngaphandle kwabesini esahlukileyo. Izibini ezitshatileyo zihlala kunye nethemba lokuba ubudlelwane bazo buya kuhlala "kude kubhubhe ukufa", ngelixa abantu besini esifanayo bezibuza ukuba ingaba ubudlelwane babo buya kuphila na ... Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu egcina izibini zihlangene emva kweminyaka elishumi kukuswela izinto. kumhlobo ". (McWhirter 1985, iphe.3, p.256).

IHarry (1984) Iingxelo zokuba i-66% yamadoda angatshatanga ayavuma ukuba abelane ngesondo kwicala kunyaka wokuqala wobudlelwane, kwaye ukuba ahlala ngaphezulu kweminyaka emihlanu, inani labantu abavumayo lenyuka laya kwi-90%.

I-Sarantakos (1998d) ifumanise ukuba kuphela i-10% yabantu abatshatileyo kunye ne-17% yabasetyhini ababhinqileyo ngabom. Ngaphambi kwale nto, wabonisa ukuba yi-19% kuphela yamafanasini engazange ahlukane kwiminyaka yokugqibela ye-5, ngelixa i-66% yamadoda kunye ne-63% yabasetyhini abatshatileyo baqhawule amaqabane amathathu okanye ngaphezulu (I-Sarantakos 1996c).

Isifundo eNetherlands safumanisa ukuba ubudlelwane bobungqingili buhlala phakathi unyaka nonyaka. Kwangelo xesha, abathandana abathandanayo abangabekonobudlelwane obude baba ne-22 amaqabane abelana ngesondo ngonyaka, kunye nabo bak ubudlelwane obude⁴, - "kuphela" i-8 "abathandi" ngonyaka (I-Lampinen 2003; I-Xiridou 2003) Uvavanyo olwenziwe kwi2006 ngabaphandi abavela kwiDyunivesithi yaseCalifornia phakathi kwabantu abathandana abathandana nabantu abangatshatanga, bafumanisa ukuba ngaphezulu kwesiqingatha samadoda athandana nabantu abathandana besini esinye (51%) babengekho kulwalamano olusisigxina. Phakathi kwamadoda angatshatanga, esi sabelo sasiyi-15% (IStrohm 2006) Kwisifundo saseCanada sabafanasini abaye banxibelelana neqabane ubuncinci i-1, kwafumaniseka ukuba kuphela i-25% yayingenalo unxibelelwano lwangaphandle. Ngombhali wombhali:

“… Inkcubeko yobufanasini ivumela amadoda ukuba azame iindlela ezahlukeneyo… zobudlelwane, hayi nje ubufanasini obunyanzelekileyo…” (uLee 2003).

Ngokutsho uphando Iminyaka ye-2013, malunga ne-70% yosulelo lweNtsholongwane kaGawulayo phakathi kwabantu abathandana abathandanayo, yenzeka kwiqabane eliqhelekileyo, kuba ubuninzi bokukrexeza kwenzeka ngaphandle kokusebenzisa ikhondomu (iBrady 2013). Ingcali yomtshato uGqirha Hayton Ucacise isimo sengqondo sobufanasini abaninzi emtshatweni:

"... Amafanasini aqinisekile kwaye abeka umzekelo wokuba ubudlelwane bomtshato yinto yethutyana kwaye ubukhulu becala ngokwesondo kwindalo ... Kwindawo yokuhlala kwabantu besini esinye, uluvo olugqithisileyo kukuba ukutshata nomntu omnye emtshatweni akuyonto iqhelekileyo kwaye akufuneki kukhuthazwe kubudlelwane" bomtshato "obulungileyo ..." ( IHayton 1993).

Kuphononongo lwe-2005, kwafunyaniswa ukuba "I-40,3% yamadoda athandana nabantu abangamadoda angamalungu" kwimibutho yabasebenzi "kunye ne-49,3% yabo bangekho kwimibutho enjalo baxoxa kwaye bavuma ukuvumela ubudlelwane bezesondo ngaphandle. Xa uthelekisa, kwiintsapho zemveli esi salathi-nkqubela salingana ne-3,5% ”(USolomon 2005).

Umphandi wePollak ufumanise ukuba "kuphela ubudlelwane bobungqingili obuhlala ngaphezulu kweminyaka emibini, uninzi lwabo lubonisa ukuba banamaqabane angaphezu kwesondo angama-100" (Pollak in I-x xumumx).

I-Whitehead (2017) yaqhuba uphononongo oluthelekisayo lwexesha lolwalamano phakathi kwabantu abathandanayo nabangatshatanga phakathi kobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu abathandana besini esinye nobesini ngokusekelwe kwizifundo ezona zipapashiweyo ezinkulu e-United States nase-Bhritane (I-Whitehead 2017) Ixesha eliphakathi⁵ ubudlelwane bobufanasini yayiyiminyaka ye-3,5, kunye nexesha eliqhelekileyo lobudlelwane kwiintsapho ezingafaniyo yayiyiminyaka ye-27; Yiyo ke loo nto ixesha lolwalamano kubudlelwane bokwabelana ngesondo ngokusemthethweni kubhaliswe ngaphezulu kwamaxesha asixhenxe kunobuhlobo bosapho.I-Whitehead 2017).

Uvelwano ngentshukumo yongqingili, umbhali uchaza ubudlelwane phakathi kwamafanasini ngolu hlobo lulandelayo:

"... kwihlabathi lesini, eyona khrayitheriya yokwenyani yexabiso kukutsala ngokomzimba ... Indoda engatshatanga nayo iya kufumanisa ukuba ihlala inomdla kuphela kubalingane bayo njengezinto zesondo. Nangona benokummemela kwisidlo sangokuhlwa kwaye bamnike nendawo yokuhlala, xa sele bewanelisile umdla wabo wesondo kuye, kungenzeka ukuba balibale ngobukho bakhe kunye neemfuno zakhe zobuqu. " (Hoffman xnumx)

Kwi-2015, iNkundla ePhakamileyo yase-U.Semthethweni yawugunyazisa umtshato wesini esifanayo, inyanzelisa onke amazwe ukuba akhuphe izatifikethi zomtshato kubantu abathandana besini esinye, kwaye azivume izatifikethi ezinjalo ezikhutshwe kwamanye amazwe. Nangona kunjalo, ngokweedatha yeAmerican Gallup Institute of Public Opinion, abathandana abatshatanga akukho mdla wokusebenzisa amalungelo abo abawafumene. Ukuba ngaphambi kokugunyaziswa okusemthethweni kwemitshato yabantu besini esinye, i-7.9% yabantu abathandana nabasetyhini baseMelika “babetshatile” (bayigqiba apho kuvumelekileyo), emva kokuba kutshutshiswe ngokusemthethweni yi-2.3% kuphela eyathatha isigqibo sokuqinisa ubudlelwane babo. Kunyaka emva kwesigqibo seNkundla ePhakamileyo, yayiyi-9.5% kuphela yabantu abathandana abathandana nabasetyhini baseMelika ababetshatile 'kubantu besini esinye, uninzi lwabo beneminyaka eyi-50 + (UJones 2017) Umfanekiso ofanayo ubonwa eNetherlands, apho umtshato wesini esifanayo ubhaliswe ngokusemthethweni ukususela kwi-2001 yonyaka: kuphela i-12% yabantu abathandana abatshatileyo "batshatile", xa kuthelekiswa ne-86% yoontanga babo abangatshatanga.

UJoseph Ciambra ocatshulwe ngasentla uyachaza Oku kungenxa yokuba amadoda athandana nabantu ongathandani nabo angafuni ukunciphisa iminqweno yabo yesini kubudlelwane neqabane elinye:

"Phantsi komthetho obalulekileyo webhayoloji yamadoda, ukhululwe kwiinkcaso zabafazi kunye neentombi, amadoda athandana nabantu abathandanayo bathambekele kubambiswano oluninzi kunye nokungazinzi, ngenxa yoko Inani eliphantsi umtshato wesini esifanayo (i-9,6%), ethi emva kwesigqibo sika-Obergefell inyuke kuphela nge-1,7%, kunye ukugcinwa kokosuleleka yintsholongwane kaGawulayo phakathi kwamadoda malunga nolwalamano oluzinzileyo. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwamadoda athandana nobungqingili ubukhulu becala ayingomtshato omnye, kodwa kuyaxoxiswana ngalo ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, kuvela imbonakalo efana nobungqingili abangamadoda nobungqingili okanye ubungqingili. " (I-Sciambra xnumx). 

Ngokungafaniyo nobungqingili, "imitshato", "ubunye" kunye "nokunyaniseka" kumadoda athandana nabantu abathandanayo abakhethi iqabane elinye. Ke kwincwadi yemigaqo Incwadi yesikhokelo soHlobo lweSapho (1999) Isifundo siye senziwa apho uninzi lwezithandani ezithi zizithathela ingqalelo “njengododobayo” ziye zachaza ukuba kunyaka ophelileyo zazine-avareji yamaqabane e-3 - 5.

Intatheli yase-Bhritane uMilo Yannopoulos uchaza ubume bolwalamano lwesini kunye:

“Ndihlala ndinomhlobo wam ophambili ondinika imali. Oku kuhlala kungugqirha, ibhanki, okanye into enjalo. Kwaye ndinabahlobo abambalwa ngesondo- abaqeqeshi bobuqu, iimbaleki. Ndiyabamema, kwaye eyona nkwenkwe iphambili iyandimema ... Inyani yile, sinamathuba ongenawo. Sinemvume ebaluleke kakhulu esisikhulula kuzo zonke iinkqubo ezisemthethweni. Yiyo loo nto umtshato wesini ungamampunge. Thixo wam, nabani na ofuna ukuhlala nomntu omnye uyoyikeka ”I-Yiannopoulos 2016).

Njengoko ukuziqhelanisa kubonisa, ngokuchasene ne-hysteria malunga nokutshata kwabantu besini esinye, uninzi lwabantu abathandanayo alubadingi. Ungachazwa njani lo mbono? Ukuqala, ubudlelwane besini esifanayo abungqine kwindalo. Ukuba kulwalamano lwendalo, indoda nebhinqa bencedana ngokwahluka kwabo ngokwebhayoloji nangokwengqondo, ngoko ke kubudlelwane besini esifanayo akukho mvisiswano yokuhambelana, yiyo loo nto abantu abathandana kunye namava enyamezele ukungoneliseki, kuboniswe kuphando olungagungqiyo. Njengoko ugqirha wezifo zengqondo uEdmund Bergler waphawula:

Olona lwalamano lubaluleke kakhulu kubantu besini esahlukileyo abalinganiswa abona bantu babini abathandanayo.I-Bergler 1956, iphe. 17).

Ke ithuba lokutshata iqabane lakho lesini esifanayo ayitshintshi into yokuba ubudlelwane obunjalo bungasebenzi.

Inkcazo enomdla ngokusilela kwe-monogamy phakathi kwamadoda athandana nabesilisa abathandanayo inikezelwa ngowayengowesini uWilliam Aaron. Kuyaphawuleka ukuba usebenzisa igama elithi "Homophile", elidumileyo kwii-60's kodwa ulibalekile ngoku (njengezilwanyana zasekhaya, umntu ohamba yedwa, njl. Njl.):

“Kubomi bobufanasini, ukuthembeka phantse kube yinto engenakwenzeka. Kuba inxenye yesinyanzeliso sobufanasini ibonakala iyimfuno yesini esingqingili (homophile) sokuba "simunce" ubudoda bamaqabane esini, kufuneka sihlale sijonge [amaqabane amatsha]. Ngenxa yoko, "imitshato" ephumelele kakhulu ye-homophile yileyo apho kukho isivumelwano phakathi kwamaqabane ukuba abe nokuthandana ecaleni, ukugcina ukubonakala kokungaguquguquki kubume babo bobomi ... Ubomi besini gay buqhelekile kwaye busebenza kakuhle xa abafowunelwa ngokwesini bengabonakalisi kwaye bengaziwa. Njengeqela, amafanasini ndazi ukuba abonakala exakeke kakhulu kukulalana kunabantu besini esahlukileyo ... ”(UWilliam Aaron 1972, iphe.208)

U-Bergler, echaza imbonakalo yengqondo yesini esiqhelekileyo, uqaphela nokukhetha isini esingaziwayo kunye nokungoneliseki okungapheliyo okukhokelela kukhangelo oluqhubekayo:

“Abantu besini esifanayo bahlala bekhangele. "Ukuhamba ngenqanawa" kwakhe (igama lobufanasini lokufumana umzuzu-emibini okanye okona kulungileyo liqabane elifutshane) libanzi kakhulu kunelo le-heoticual neurotic egxile kumaqabane obusuku obunye. Ngokwamafanasini, oku kungqina ukuba banqwenela iintlobo ezahlukeneyo kwaye banomnqweno onganelisiyo wesini. Ngapha koko, oku kungqina kuphela ukuba ubufanasini kukutya okungekho mgangathweni nokungonelisiyo. Ikwangqina ubukho beminqweno engapheliyo yengozi: ngalo lonke ixesha kuhambo lwabo lokuhamba ngesondo, umntu osisitabane usesichengeni sokubethwa, ukuzama ukuphanga okanye izifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini. Ezo ndlela zingafaniyo zokufikelela "kunxibelelwano" zenza ukutyelela indawo yokuhlala abantu besini esahlukileyo kubonakale njengamava emvakalelo. ” (I-Bergler 1956, iphe. 16)

Nantsi indlela abatshisekeli uKirk noMadsen abakhankanywe apha ngasentla abayichaza ngayo intsingiselo yobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu abathandana nabo:

Abantu abathandana besini esinye abalunganga kakhulu ekufumaneni nasekugcineni amaqabane. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabo buhlala buhlala ixesha elide, nangona uninzi luzama ukufumana iqabane lomphefumlo. Ngamanye amagama, wonke umntu ujonge, kodwa akukho namnye. Uyichaza njani le paradesi? Okokuqala, oku kubangelwa kukungafani kolwazelelelo lwendoda kunye nengqondo, esenza ubudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nomntu obomnye nendoda bungazinzanga ngokwendalo kunobudlelwane bendoda nomntu obhinqileyo. Ngokomndilili, ukuqhutywa kwesondo somfazi kunzulu kakhulu kunendoda, kwaye kukhuthazwe ngumbono obonakalayo. Ibhinqa liyazamkela ngakumbi iimvakalelo zalo kunoko ikubonayo. Amadoda, kwelinye icala, akagcini nje ngokuba nesondo kakhulu (phantse njalo), kodwa ngokukhawuleza kwaye ayonwabile ngokubona nje kweqabane "elifanelekileyo".

Okwesibini, ukuvuswa ngokwesondo kuxhomekeke kakhulu "kwimfihlakalo", oko kukuthi, inqanaba lokungaziwa phakathi kwamaqabane. Kuyacaca ukuba ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, amadoda ayalingana kunabafazi, kwaye ke ngenxa yoko ayaziwa apho. Oku, njengommiselo, kukhokelela abathandana besini esinye ukuba basebenze ngokukhawuleza kubaqabane. Okubangela umdla kukuba, oku kuyinyani ngakumbi kubanikazi bezesini, abanomdla wokudlula ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ngenxa yokuba iimfuno zabo zesini zilingana, baneliseka lula ubudlelwane bemvakalelo.

Ekuphela kwendlela ekufanele ukuba uninzi lwabantu abathandana abakhethe kuyo bakhethe unxibelelwano lwabo kukutsala kwezesondo. Ubudlelwane obuhlala buhlala kunye nabantu ongabaziyo kunye nabantu abangabakhathalelanga kubo buye bomelele kwimeko eqhelekileyo engathandekiyo kunye nokungafuni ukugweba ngeenqobo ezibaluleke ngakumbi. Inkolelo yesini esifana nesakho inokuvezwa ngolu hlobo: "Karl, nangona eneembovane, kodwa enesidala esikhulu, mhlawumbi ndiya ekhaya."

Ukungazinzi emzimbeni, uloyiko lwezibophelelo kunye nokuziva ungaphantsi komntu kukhokelela ekuziphatheni okubi kakhulu. Beqinisekile ngentliziyo yabo ukungabi nto yanto, bayicinezela le mvakalelo imbi ngokuhlala beqinisekisa ukuba banqwenela ngokwesini, baziphathe kakubi ngokwesini namaqabane angaziwayo. Kwaye nangona phantse bonke abantu besini esinye esithi bangathanda ukufumana uthando lokwenene, iimfuno zakhe zigqithisiwe kwaye akukho ngqiqweni kangangokuba uzishiya engenathemba lokudibana nomntu onjalo. Umzekelo, akafanele ukusela, ukutshaya, ukuba nomdla kubugcisa, elunxwemeni, kwi-guacamole, ukujonga nokuziphatha njengomntu othe tye, unxibe kakuhle; ube nezimvo ezihlekisayo, "ulungelo" imvelaphi yentlalo; akufuneki ukuba neenwele ezininzi emzimbeni; kufuneka ibe sempilweni, icocekile kwaye ilungisiwe. . . kuhle, uyifumana ingongoma.

Kutheni amafanasini azibeka kwindawo enjalo? Okokuqala, kuba bakhetha ukuhlala kwiiphupha ezimnandi kunokujongana nezinto eziyinyani. Okwesibini, ibanika isizathu esivakalayo sokuba kutheni benganaye umntu, nokuba isini esingakhethi buso nokungakhathali empeleni kukufuna oku.

"Ukungathandi" ukuba nolwalamano lobuqu ngokufuthi kukungabinakho ukubanakho. Abantu abanale ngxaki banokuya nakweyiphi na imeko egqithisileyo ukuze bacacisele ngokungafaneleki kwabo, bade babhale iincwadi ezibonisa indlela yabo yokuphila njenge "ngxelo yezopolitiko eguqukayo" kunye "nokusebenza kwegcisa lemidlalo yeqonga lesini".

Xa, ngenxa yokufuna indoda engcono, indoda enefanasini ivumelane nomntu ofayo, idabi lothando alipheli apho-iyaqala. Umlinganiswa ophakathi uJoni Gay uza kukuxelela ukuba ufuna ubudlelwane “obungenaxhala” apho umntu athandana naye “engabandakanyekanga kakhulu, engenzi iimfuno, kwaye emnika indawo eyaneleyo.” Ngokwenyani, akukho sithuba siya kuba sanele, kuba uJoni akafuni mthandi, kodwa ngumhlobo osokolayo - umhlobo wokutsiba, uhlobo lwesixhobo sekhaya esingathobeki. Xa ukunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo kuqalisa ukubonakala kubudlelwane (okuthi, kwithiyori, kube sesona sizathu sivakalayo kubo), bayayeka ukuzonwabisa, babe “yingxaki” kwaye bahlukane. Nangona kunjalo, ayingabo bonke abantu abathandana besini esinye abajonge "ulwalamano" olomileyo. Abanye bafuna ukuthandana okuqinisekileyo, kwaye bayifumene. Kwenzeka ntoni emva koko? Kungekudala, inyoka eneliso elilodwa iya kuphakamisa intloko yayo imbi.

Akuzange kubekho isithethe sokunyaniseka kwindawo yamafanasini. Nokuba ungonwaba kangakanani umntu athandana naye kunye nesithandwa sakhe, uya kuthi ekugqibeleni agqibe ukukhangela x **. Izinga lokungathembeki phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo "abatshatileyo", ekuhambeni kwexesha, lisondela kwi-100%. Amadoda, njengoko sele kukhankanyiwe, ayathandeka kunabasetyhini, abanefuthe lokuzinza, kwaye ubuso obuhle esitratweni okanye kwivenkile banokujika ngokulula iintloko. Iifani ezimbini yingxaki ephindwe kabini, ethi isikwere ithathe amathuba okubulala. Uninzi lwabantu abathandana besini esinye, bequbuda kwinto engenakuphepheka, bayavuma "ukuvula ubudlelwane." Ngamanye amaxesha kuyasebenza: emva kokuyeka umphunga, umthandi ongazinzanga ubuyela kwiqabane elibaluleke kuye kunabanye. Kodwa oku akusoloko kusebenza. Ngamanye amaxesha ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bulunge ngakumbi kwiqabane elinye kunelinye, eliya kuthi ekugqibeleni livume ukuba alinakuma kwaye lihambe. Ngamanye amaxesha kukwamkelwa nje ngobunono ukuba ubudlelwane abasasekelwanga eluthandweni, kodwa kulwalamano lwesondo kunye nolwemihla ngemihla. Le yokugqibela inokuba nezothe ngakumbi: abathandi, okanye endaweni yoko, bajika babe ngabahamba kunye, bencedana ekufumaneni amaqabane ezokwabelana ngesondo amathathu ”... (I-Kirk kunye neMadsen 1990).

Ngokomfanekiso weklinikhi kaGqr. Nicolosi, omabini amaqabane kubudlelwane bobungqingili adla ngokufumana ukukhuselwa kukokwabelana ngesondo kuvela ebuntwaneni kunye nemfuneko yokuyibuyisela. Ke ngoko, ubudlelwane babo buhlala buthatha indlela yokungaqiniseki yento eyenye indoda njengemodeli yesoda introject. Ukukhangela ubudlelwane namanye amadoda kunye nokwabelana ngesondo, umntu ongathandani naye uzama ukuhlanganisa inxalenye elahlekileyo yobuntu bakhe. Ukucinga enye indoda ukuba yenze ngenxa yokunqongophala kwayo iimpawu zobudoda, umntu ongatshatanga naye uxhomekeke ekuzihlaziseni kwiqabane lakhe okanye ukhathazeke kabuhlungu ukufumana kuye kanye ukusilela kobudoda njengaye.

Edanile, uhamba ekhangela elinye iqabane elinelisa ngakumbi. Ukusukela ekubeni umtsalane wakhe uvele ekusweleni, akanakuthanda kuthanda ngokukhululekileyo: isimo sakhe sokuthandana malunga nesini sakhe nokukhusela umntu osondeleyo kuye kuthintela ukuthenjwa kunye nokusondelana. Ujonga amanye amadoda kuphela malunga nezinto abanokuzenzela ukunqongophala kwakhe. Kwezi meko bathabatha, banganiki.

Indoda edandathekileyo inokuziva okwethutyana ngoncedo lwesini esingaziwayo - ngenxa yokuvuka, ngamandla kunye nokuba semngciphekweni, ngokukhupha ngokwesondo okulandelayo kunye nokwehla ngokukhawuleza koxinzelelo. Kodwa oku kungumbandela wexesha, ade aphinde abe ngoxinzelelo, kwaye abuyele kwisini esingaziwayo njengesisombululo sexesha elifutshane ekungonwabeni kwakhe ngokomoya. Ngokwesiqhelo umntu othengisa amafanasini unika ingxelo yokuba ufuna isini esingaziwayo emva kwesigameko apho waziva engahoywanga okanye ekhutyekiswe yenye indoda.

Ubundlobongela bobuhlakani

Ngokutsho Isibonelelo sezempilo se-LGBT, "Abantu abathandana nababelana ngesondo basengozini enkulu yokufumana imeko ezinzima zomzimba nezengqondo, ezinjengobundlobongela basekhaya kunye nokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi ..." (IMakadon 2008) Ama-Lesbian kunokwenzeka ukuba amadoda angamafanasini abe ngamaxhoba kwaye aqalise ubundlobongela (Waldner-Haugrud 1997²).

Isifundo se-APA safumanisa ukuba i-47,5% yabantu abathandanayo abakhe bafumana ukuxhatshazwa emzimbeni kwiqabane. Phakathi kwabathandana besini esinye, ubundlobongela beqabane kubikwe nge38.8% (Ibhalsamu xnumx) I-CDC ihambise idatha efanayo - i-40,4% yabantu abathandana nabafazi bephathwa gadalala emzimbeni liqabane; kwi-29,4%, ubundlobongela babubukhulu: ukubetha, ukubetha okanye ukubetha into kanzima (I-Walters xnumx).

Kwisampulu yamadoda ahlaselwa ngokwesini, i-73% yabo babe ngamaxhoba obundlobongela obuphathelele kwezesondo liqabane (Merrill 2000) I-Welles kunye nabalingane bafumanise ukuba i-49% yamadoda amnyama kubudlelwane besini esifanayo bahlukunyezwa ngokomzimba kwaye i-37% yahlukunyezwa ngokwesondo (I-Welles xnumx).

"I-LGBT yoPhando lweNtsapho" yaxela ukuba i-70,2% yabasetyhini abathandana nabasetyhini bafumana into yokuxhatshazwa ngokwengqondo kunyaka ophelileyo (IMatte kunye neLafontaine 2011) Olunye uphononongo lubonise ukuba i-69% yabasetyhini ababandakanyeka kubudlelwane besini esifanayo baxela ulunya ngamazwi, ngelixa i-77,5% inika ingxelo yokulawula indlela yokuziphatha kwiqabane. Kwabesilisa abangamafanasini, ezi datha beziyi-55,6% kunye ne-69,6%, ngokwahlukeneyo (I-Messinger 2011). Ngokutsho kovavanyo lwe-CDC, kwi-63,5 yeepesenti eyi-10 yabantu abathandana nabasetyhini abaye bafumana uxinzelelo lwengqondo kwiqabane, bahlala beboniswa bodwa kusapho nakwizihlobo, ihlazo, izithuko kunye nokuqinisekiswa ukuba akukho mntu ubadingayo (I-Walters xnumx).

Ubuxoki kunye noogxa bakhe baqaphela ukuba ubundlobongela kubudlelwane bezesini buhlala buyezwana. Kwisampulu yabo, i-23,1% yabantu abathandana nabathandana nesini babike ukunyanzelwa ngokwesini kwiqabane labo, kunye ne-9,4% kwiqabane labo langaphambili. Ukongeza, i-55.1% ixele ukuxubusha ngomlomo nangokweemvakalelo (Lie et al. I-Xnumx) Olunye uphando lufumanise ukuba kuthelekiswa ne-17,8% yamabhinqa angatshatanga, i-30,6% yabantu abathandana nesini babelana ngesondo ngokuthanda kwabo (UDuncan 1990), kodwa ngokutsho Waldner-Haugrud (1997¹) I-50% yabasetyhini abathandana nabasetyhini abanamava okungena ngokunyanzeliswa liqabane labo, eyi-5% kuphela engaphantsi kwamadoda athandana namanye.

Inqaku le-1994 lonyaka kwiJenali yoBundlobongela obenzile yasingatha imicimbi yongquzulwano nobundlobongela kubuhlakani besini phakathi kwabasetyhini.I-Lockhart 1994) Abaphandi bafumanise ukuba i-31% yabaphenduli baxele ukuba banamava episode enye yokuxhatshazwa emzimbeni liqabane. NgokweNichols (2000), i-54% yamabhinqa angamafanasini axele ukuba abenamava e-10 okanye ngaphezulu kweziganeko zobundlobongela ngamaqabane, i74% ichaze iziqendu ze6 - 10 (I-Nichols xnumx).

UPhononongo lweSizwe loBundlobongela obuchasene nabaSetyhini lubonise ukuba "abantu abathandana besini esifanayo banowona mgangatho uphakamileyo wobundlobongela kunokwabelana ngesini. I-39% ye-cohabitants ichaze ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwengqondo liqabane xa kuthelekiswa ne-21,7% yabaphenduli abavela kwi-cohabitations. Phakathi kwamadoda, la manani, ngokwahlukeneyo, i-23,1% kunye ne-7,4% ”(I-CDC 2000).

Kumsebenzi wabo, uMadoda abetha amaDoda aBathandayo, iSiqithi kunye neLetseli baqikelela ukuba "izehlo zobundlobongela basekhaya kubuhlobo obufanasini ziphantse zaphindeka kabini kubantu abathandanayo."Isiqithi xnumx).

Ngokutsho kophando olupapashwe nguRhulumente waseCanada kwi2006:

"... ubundlobongela bomtshato buvele kabini kwizibini ezitshatileyo xa kuthelekiswa nezesini esahlukileyo: I-15% kunye ne-7%, ngokulandelelana" (Izibalo Canada - Ikhathalogu no. I-85-570, p.39).

Ulwazi olongezelelekileyo

Ulwazi olongezelelekileyo kunye neenkcukacha zingafumaneka kule mithombo ilandelayo:

1. UDailey tj Ukuthelekisa iiNdlela zokuHamba zabantu abathandana besini esinye nabantu abatshatileyo. IBhunga loPhando loSapho. 2004.
2. Cameron P. Ubundlobongela basekhaya phakathi kwamaqabane. I-Psychol Rep. I-2003 Oct; 93 (2): 410-6. I-DoI: 10.2466 / pr0.2003.93.2.410
3. UReisman uJ. Ingxelo yeReisman kunye noJohnson. Ifake isicelo "kuMtshato wamafanasini" Kwaye "ulwaphulo-mthetho olunenzondo". Ingxelo yokuqala yenkqubela phambili. Uyilo oluSebenzayo luka-2008. Imigaqo yokuQala Press. iphepha 8-11.

Amanqaku

I-1 IsiNgesi: "Iiflats"
I-2 kwi-1982, abaphenduli babonise ukuba babenomndilili wamaqabane amasha e-4,7 kwinyanga ephelileyo; I-1984-2,5 amaqabane amatsha exesha elifanayo.
I-3 eng.: "Ukubuyela umva" - ukukhwela umva. Oku kubhekisele kukungena ngaphakathi kwe-genital-anal ("anal" ngesondo) ngaphandle kwekhondomu.
I-4 ihlala "neqabane elibhalisiweyo eliqhelekileyo"
Ixesha le-5 ukusuka kubhaliso ukuya ekuphelisweni kobudlelwane bobufanasini okanye "umtshato"