Ubungqingili: isifo noma indlela yokuphila?

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esivelele phakathi nekhulu lamashumi amabili, MD Edmund Bergler wabhala izincwadi ze-25 ezikhuluma ngokusebenza kwengqondo kanye ne-273 kumajenali aphambili ochwepheshe. Izincwadi zakhe zidingida izihloko ezinjengokukhula kwengane, i-neurosis, izingqinamba zokuphila kwasebusuku, ubunzima bomshado, ukugembula, ukuzilimaza kanye nobungqingili. Lokhu okulandelayo kucashunwe encwadini ”Ubungqingili: isifo noma indlela yokuphila?»

Sekuyiminyaka engaba ngamashumi amathathu manje ngiphatha ubungqingili, ngichitha amahora amaningi nabo ngesikhathi sokuhlaziywa kwabo. Ngingasho kahle ukuthi anginalo ubandlululo ngabongqingili; kimina bangabantu abagulayo abadinga usizo lwezempilo. Ngaba nempumelelo eminingi yokwelapha nabo, ukwehluleka okuthile nokudumazeka okuthile. Ngibakweleta ithuba lokufunda ukwakheka kwengqondo yabo, kanye nohlobo kanye nokuqina kwesifo sabo. Ngokuvamile, anginasizathu sokukhononda ngobungqingili.

Noma kunjalo, yize ngingenakho ukucwasa, uma ngibuzwa ukuthi buyini ubungqingili, bengithi abantu abathandana nobungqingili empeleni ngabantu abangajabuli, noma ngabe banezindlela zangaphandle ezimnandi noma ezingathandeki. Yebo, azinacala ezimpikiswaneni zazo ezingazi lutho, kepha lezi zingxabano zidonsa kakhulu amandla azo angaphakathi kangangokuba igobolondo lakhe elingaphandle liyingxube yokuzikhukhumeza, ubutha be-pseudo-nokukhonkotha. Njengabo bonke ababukeli bemilingo, bahleba lapho bebhekana nomuntu onamandla, kuthi lapho bethola amandla, babe nonya, banyathele umuntu obuthakathaka ngaphandle kokuzisola okuncane. Okuwukuphela kolimi abaqondayo abangaqondakaliyo lungamandla amakhulu. Okuxakayo kakhulu ukuthi kuyaqabukela uthola i-ego eqinile (okuvame ukubizwa ngokuthi “umuntu ofanele”) phakathi kwabo.

Njengoba ngingaqiniseki ngokuvela kwami, ngazibheka kaningi ngeziguli zami ezazelashwa, ngibabuza ukuthi bafinyeze umbono wabo ngabantu abathandana nobungqingili ngemuva kweminyaka elapha. Ukuveliswa kwabangane bakhe bangaphambili okubonakaliswa abathandana abathandanayo abathandanayo kungukugxeka okubulalayo, uma kuqhathaniswa nokuhlaziya kwami ​​kuzwakale njengokukhuluma kwengane.


Umuntu ongungqingili ugcwele ingxube yezinto ezilandelayo:

  1. Ukuvusa inkanuko nokuqoqa ukungabi nabulungiswa.
  2. Ukulimaza ukuvikela.
  3. I-Frivolity emboza ukudangala kanye necala.
  4. I-hypernarcissism kanye ne-hyperarrogance.
  5. Ukwenqaba ukwemukela izindinganiso ezamukelekayo ezindabeni ezingezona ezocansi ngaphansi kwenkohliso yokuthi ilungelo lokusika izinhlangothi zokuziphatha libangelwe yibo ongqingili njengokunxephezela "ukuhlupheka" kwabo.
  6. Ukungavikeleki okujwayelekile, futhi kwesimo se-psychopathic esingaphezulu noma esingaphansi.

Isici esijabulisayo kakhulu sale sextet yezimfanelo nokusebenza kwazo okuhlukahlukene. Akunandaba nobuhlakani, isiko, imvelaphi noma imfundo, bonke ongqingili banayo.

JOURNEY GATHER

Wonke umuntu ongqingili ungumqoqi oshisekayo wokungabi nabulungiswa ngakhoke ungumuntu ohlola ingqondo. Isazi sezengqondo siyisidambisilwazi, kuthi lapho sidukelwa singazi, sidale izimo lapho izoshaywa, ihlazwe futhi ilahlwe.

ISIVIVINYO ESINGAXHUNYANYELWA, SIYAKUFUNA NGOKUFANELEKILE KUSESHENI

Ubungqingili obujwayelekile uhlala ebhekile. "Ukuhamba" kwakhe (igama elingungqingili lokuthola umlingani wemizuzu emibili noma, okungenani, umlingani wesikhashana esifushane) kukhulu kakhulu kunobuchwepheshe be-psychotic abalingani abalingani bobusuku obubodwa. Ngokusho kobungqingili, lokhu kufakazela ukuthi banxanela ukwehluka futhi banesifiso sobulili esingagculisi. Eqinisweni, lokhu kufakazela nje ukuthi ubungqingili buyindlela yokudla yezocansi encane futhi enganelisi. Kubuye kufakazele ukuba khona kwesifiso sokuzibona njalo sengozi: ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ezihamba naye ehlangana nobungqingili usengozini yokushaywa, ukuzama ukukhipha, noma izifo ezithathelwana ngocansi.

UKUVUNYELWA NGOKUSEKELWA KWEMEGALOMANIC NGOKUTHOLAKALA KWEHOMOSEXUALISTS NAPHEPHELWENI KWENDLELA YOKUHOMOSEXUAL

Umbono wemegalomaniac ngempilo kungenye yezimpawu ezijwayelekile zobungqingili. Ukholelwa ngokujulile ukuphakama kohlobo lwakhe ngaphezu kwabo bonke abanye, futhi uvame ukusekela le nkolelo ngezibonelo zomlando ezingaqondakali kahle. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, uyaqiniseka ukuthi "Ekujuleni kwenhliziyo, wonke umuntu unohlobo oluthile lokuthambekela kobungqingili".

UKUKHUSELEKWA KWANGAPHAKATHI NESIVIVINYI SEZOBUCHWEPHESHE

Ngokwengxenye, ukukhohliswa okuyisinxephezelo kobuhle bobungqingili akuvimbeli ukucindezeleka okujulile kwangaphakathi. Ngokufanayo nekaNapoleonic “klwebha isiRashiya futhi uzothola umTatar,” umuntu angase athi: “klwebha ubungqingili futhi uzothola imizwa yokucindezeleka ecindezelekile.” Kwesinye isikhathi ukuhlekisa okuwubuwula “kwezitabane” [ngokwezwi nezwi elithi “gay”] - igama abazisebenzisela ongqingili - kuwukucasha okucashile okucashile. Lena indlela yokuvikela ekucindezelekeni kwe-masochistic. Enye indlela enjalo intukuthelo eyihaba nengalawuleki yongqingili, ehlale ilungele ukusetshenziswa. Le ntukuthelo iyafana nobudlova mbumbulu obuchazwe kuthebula:

IWAYINI YANGAPHAKATHI IQhamuka KUSUKA EKUGCINWELWENI

Ngaphandle kokukhetha, icala elijulile langaphakathi elivela ekuphendukezeleni likhona kubo bonke ongqingili. Leli yicala elisusiwe elihlobene nesakhiwo esingaphansi se-masochistic. Icala, noma livunyiwe noma linqatshiwe (ngokuvamile linqatshelwe), liyingxenye ebalulekile yesakhiwo sobungqingili. “Ukuhlanganisa” leli cala nokulibuyisela endaweni yalo kusebenza njengendlela yoshintsho lokwelapha ekwelashweni kwengqondo. Lapha kuyadingeka ukuhlukanisa phakathi kokuhlanekezela emqondweni wengqondo kanye nodumile: lokhu okugcina kuhlanganisa incazelo yokuziphatha, kuyilapho ukuhlanekezela kwengqondo kusho ubulili bezingane, okwenzeka kumuntu omdala, futhi okuholela ku-orgasm. Ngamafuphi - isifo.

INDAWO YOKUQALA

Abongqingili bakhombisa inqwaba yamajarousies angenangqondo futhi anobudlova angenazifungo zobudlelwano bobulili obuhlukile. Noma ezimweni ezingandile zobudlelwano besitabane eside, kuneziqhuma njalo zomhawu. Lo mona we-pseudo umboza izingxabano ezijikijelwe kakhulu: okubukeka kunjengomhawu ebusweni empeleni, yisikhathi 'sokubutha ukungabi nabulungiswa'. Lokhu kusobala ikakhulukazi ezimweni lapho kukhethwa khona umlingani onamahloni ngokusobala futhi kuthembeka kuye.

"UNSECURity" NJENGANYE INDAWO YOKUTHENGA I-PSYCHOPATHIC TRENDS

Ukungavikeleki, kusukela ekudalekeni kuya enkambisweni ye-psychopathic eyaziwayo, umthetho, hhayi umehluko phakathi kobungqingili. Bahlala esimweni sokuzungu, basebenzise izinqamuleli ezingcolile, izindlela zokuvota nezinzungu. Kwesinye isikhathi izindlela zabo zokucindezela zibukeka sengathi zibolekiwe endaweni yokulwa nobushiqela. I-Conscious rationalization ilula: "Ngihlupheke kakhulu - ngiyakwazi."


Namuhla, inkinga yobungqingili iqine kakhulu kunaseminyakeni eyishumi edlule. Ukuhlanekezela sekuyimbongi ejwayelekile ekwakhiweni kokuqashwa okusha ngenxa yokusakazwa kwezibalo eziyiphutha. Ezinye izinhlaka zobuntu bezilokhu zikhangwa ubungqingili, noma kunjalo, ngaphezu kokuqashwa okujwayelekile, eminyakeni yamuva nje sibone uhlobo olusha “lwabasebenzi”. Labantu abasha abasevile eminyakeni engu-20 yobudala noma abaneminyaka engamatshumi amabili - “umngcele” ongqingili, esinqumeni sokuba “noma ungabi njalo,” bahlala phakathi kwezihlalo ezimbili. Ukugqugquzela ubungqingili kuleli cala kuhlinzekelwa yizitatimende ezinjengeKinsey. Iningi lalaba "onogada basemngceleni" abawona abungqingili beqiniso: ukubheka kwabo izinto zesimanjemanje nokuhlolwa okungafanele (okuvela enkolelweni eyiphutha yokuthi ubungqingili "bujwayelekile futhi buvunyiwe yisayensi") kube nemiphumela edabukisayo, ibathwalisa icala elibi nelokungabaza. Lo mthwalo uyaqhubeka ngisho nangemva kokubuyela ebungozini. Umbono odabukisayo futhi odabukisayo 'wobungqingili obufakelwe izibalo "kungenxa yokungakwazi ukusabalalisa amaqiniso wezokwelapha alula.


Umthombo omusha futhi onganqunyelwe wezinsizakalo zomshado bekungukushada kwalabo okuthiwa "ama-bisexinyorwa" kwabesifazane abangazibekile phansi abashonelwa yizimpi zabo lapho bethola ukuthi kabawona amakhosikazi, kodwa isikrini ... "Ukuphila Okuphilayo" kutholakala njengencazelo ethokomayo yomuntu ongungqingili, owagcina izinsalela zokukhanya kobungqingili, okwathi isikhathi esithile kwamenza wakwazi ukulala nomuntu ngaphandle kobulili, emnika i-alibi yangaphakathi edingekayo. Akekho ongadansa emishadweni emibili ngasikhathi sinye, ngisho nobungqingili abanamakhono kakhulu. Ukusatshalaliswa okulinganayo kwezisusa ezikhululekile phakathi kobungqingili nobungqingili akukhona ngoba ubungqingili abuyona indlela yokuya ocansini, kepha buyindlela evikelayo. Lokhu okubizwa ngokuthi "ama-bisexcript" empeleni kungongqingili beqiniso nokuhlangana okuncane kwe-potency kubesifazane abangathandeki. Lapho ongqingili balolu hlelo eshada nowesifazane ongacabangi, ukuphambuka komyeni wakhe akunakugwenywa futhi kubuhlungu. Imishado “yebhayibheli” ishukunyiswa izimbangela zenhlalo noma inkolelo yokuthi umshado uzobafundisa ngokwejwayelekile. Phambilini, imishado enjalo ibiyivelakancane; kumanje kungukubusa.


Njengamanje, izimpi zobungqingili zilwelwa emihlanganweni emithathu:
Abongqingili: "Sijwayelekile futhi sifuna ukubonwa!"
Abobungqingili: "Nina baphenduki futhi niyindawo yenu ejele!"
Izazi Zokusebenza Kwezengqondo: “Ongqingili ngabantu abagulayo futhi kufanele belashwe.”
Ngaphansi kwethonya lemibiko yaseKinsey, ongqingili baqoqa isibindi manje empeleni badinga isimo esincane. Njenganoma yisiphi isikhathi sezinguquko, kunganikezwa kuphela uhhafu izinyathelo. Phakathi kwazo, okubaluleke kakhulu yile:

  1. Ukusatshalaliswa kolwazi lokuthi ubungqingili buyisifo se-neurotic lapho ukuthambekela kokuzilimaza okunzima kakhulu futhi okungenakugwenywa kubandakanya khona ubuntu bonke, nokuthi akuyona indlela yokuphila.
  2. Ukusabalalisa ulwazi lokuthi ubungqingili buyisifo eselapheka.
  3. Ukudalwa nokugcinwa kweminyango yezangaphandle ukuphuma kwemishanguzo yobungqingili ngaphakathi kwezikhungo ezikhona zezifo zengqondo ezibhedlela ezinkulu ezinabasebenzi bezengqondo abaqeqeshiwe.

Kuze kube manje, impi yokulwa nobungqingili ibilokhu ilwa ngezimpikiswano ezinhle nezinengqondo zokuziphatha kanye nemikhawulo efanelekile yezomthetho. Azikho kulezi zindlela ezifakazele ukuthi ziyasebenza. Izimpikiswano zokuziphatha zichithiwe kubungqingili ngoba, bengayinaki imihlangano, banelisa ubutha babo be-neurotic. Izinsongo zokuboshwa azisebenzi ngalutho: i-megalomania ejwayelekile yomuntu ongqingili imvumela ukuthi azicabange yedwa, kuyilapho ukuthambekela kwakhe kokungazwisisi kahle kwenza ubungozi bokuboshwa bube buhle. Ukuphela kwendlela ephumelelayo yokulwa nokulwa nobungqingili ukusabalalisa kabanzi ulwazi lokuthi akukho lutho olubukhazikhazi ngokuhlaselwa yisifo esaziwa njengobungqingili. Lokhu, ekuqaleni nje, ukuphazamiseka kocansi, kuhlangene njalo nokuzenzakalisa okungathi sína, okuziveza ngokungenangqondo emkhakheni wezocansi, ngoba kumboza ubuntu bonke. Isitha sangempela sobungqingili akusona isimilo saso esibi, kepha ukungazi kwakhe ukuthi angasizwa, kanye nokubuka kwakhe ingqondo, okumenza agweme ukwelashwa. Lokhu kungazi kusekelwa ngobuciko abaholi abathandana nobungqingili.


Ungqingili wanoma ibuphi ubulili ukholelwa ukuthi okuwukuphela kwenkinga yakhe “isimo sengqondo esingenabulungisa” sendawo ezungezile. Uthi uma eshiywe yedwa futhi kungasadingeki esabe umthetho, ukucwaswa emphakathini, ukuqolwa noma ukuvezwa, "angajabula" njengokuphambene kwakhe nobulili obuhlukile. Lokhu, yiqiniso, inkohliso yokuziduduza. Ubungqingili akuwona “indlela yokuphila,” njengoba laba bantu abagulayo bekholelwa ngokungafanele, kodwa kuwukuhlanekezela kwemizwa yabo bonke ubuntu. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi ukuhlukana kobulili ngokwako akuqinisekisi impilo yomzwelo - futhi phakathi kwabantu bobulili obuhlukile kunenqwaba ye-neurotics. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kukhona abantu bobulili obuhlukile obunempilo, kodwa abekho ongqingili abanempilo. Sonke isimo sobuntu bongqingili sigcwele isifiso esingazi sokuhlupheka. Lesi sifiso saneliswa wukuzidalela izinkinga, okusolwa kalula ebunzimeni bangaphandle ubungqingili obubhekene nabo. Ukube ubunzima bangaphandle bebususwe ngokuphelele, futhi kweminye imibuthano emadolobheni amakhulu buyasuswa ngempela, ubungqingili ngabe usahlala engumuntu ogula ngokomzwelo.


Eminyakeni eyi-10 nje edlule, okungcono kakhulu isayensi engakunikeza kwakuwukubuyisana kongqingili “nesiphetho” sakhe, ngamanye amazwi, ukuqedwa komuzwa wecala. Ulwazi lwakamuva lwengqondo kanye nocwaningo kufakazele ngokungangabazeki ukuthi isiphetho okuthiwa asinakuhlehliswa sobungqingili (ngesinye isikhathi size sihlotshaniswe nezimo ezingekho zebhayoloji namahomoni) empeleni siwukuhlukaniswa okuguquguqukayo kokwelashwa kweneurosis. Ithemba lokwelapha lesikhathi esidlule liyanyamalala kancane kancane: namuhla ukwelashwa kwengqondo kwesiqondiso se-psychodynamic kungalapha ubungqingili.


Izincwadi zakamuva nemikhiqizo yakamuva izamile ukuveza ubungqingili njengezisulu ezingeneme ezifanelwe ukuzwelwa. Ukudluliswa kwezinduna ze-lacrimal akunangqondo: ongqingili bangahlala baphendukela osizweni lwezengqondo futhi belaphe uma bafuna. Kepha ukungazi komphakathi kusabalale kakhulu ngalolu daba, futhi ukukhohliswa kwabantu abathandana nabobungqingili ngombono womphakathi ngabo kusebenza kakhulu kangangokuba nabantu abahlakaniphe impela abazalwanga izolo bazitholela izithiyo zabo.


"Ngaphezu kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu yokusebenza, ngikuqedile ngempumelelo ukuhlaziya abesilisa abathandana nabobungqingili (ezinye izivivinyo ezingamashumi amathathu zaphazanyiswa yimi noma ngokuhamba kwesiguli), futhi ngaluleka cishe ngamakhulu amahlanu. Ngokusekelwe kulwazi olutholwe ngale ndlela, ngingasho ngokuqiniseka ukuthi ubungqingili bunokuthuthuka okuhle kakhulu kokulashwa kwengqondo kwendlela ye-psychodynamic kusuka onyakeni owodwa kuya eminyakeni emibili, okungenani izikhathi ezintathu ngesonto, uma nje isiguli sifuna ukuguquka. Iqiniso lokuthi umphumela omuhle awusekelwa kunoma yikuphi ukwahluka komuntu siqu kuqinisekiswa iqiniso lokuthi isibalo esikhulu sozakwabo sathola imiphumela efanayo.


Umuntu ongungqingili akabalahli abesifazane, kodwa uyabalekela. Engazi, uyabesaba. Ubalekela owesifazane ngangokunokwenzeka, ashiye “elinye izwekazi” - uye endodeni. Ukuqinisekiswa okufana nobungqingili ukuthi "akanandaba" nabesifazane akuyona into nje yokucabanga okufisayo. Ngaphakathi, uzonda abesifazane ngenzondo enxephezelayo ye-masochist yokwesaba. Lokhu kubonakala kuyo yonke ingxoxo yokuhlaziya nesiguli esingungqingili.

Umuntu ongqingili ubhekisa kwabesilisa njengophikisana nabesifazane. Ukukhuphuka kwendoda kwento ekhangayo kuyinto yesibili. Lokhu kukhanga kuhlanganiswa njalo nokwedelelwa. Uma kuqhathaniswa nokwedelela okukhonjiswa ubungqingili obujwayelekile kwabalingani babo bocansi, inzondo nokunganakwa kwabesifazane bezithiyo zesifazane ezihlukumeza kakhulu kubukeka sengathi kuyathandeka. Imvamisa ubuntu bonke "bomthandi" busula. Ukuxhumana nabantu abaningi abathandana nobungqingili kwenzeka ezindlini zangasese, ekubonakaleni kwamapaki nasezindaweni zokugeza zaseTurkey, lapho into yocansi ingabonakali futhi. Izindlela ezinjalo zokuzenzisa zokuthola "ukuxhumana" zenza ukuvakashela i-brothel eyodwa kube kubukeka njengomuzwa ongokomzwelo.


Ubungqingili buvame ukuhlanganiswa nokuthambekela kwengqondo. Ubungqingili ngokwayo buhlangene ne-psychopathy - inhlanganisela ivela ekubuyeni ngomlomo okujwayelekile. Phezu kwalokho, izenzo ze-psychopathic zingezemicabango yokuziphindisela, kodwa-ke, ngemuva kwalesi sigubhu esimboze kabi kukhona ukuthambekela okulimazayo okujulile okungakwazi ukufihla i-facade ebanzi enolaka.


Ukuhlanganiswa kobungqingili nenkohliso, umlutha wokugembula, uphuzo oludakayo, umlutha wezidakamizwa, i-kleptomania kuyinto evamile.


Kuyamangaza ukuthi ingakanani ingxenye yobuntu be-psychopathic phakathi kwabongqingili. Ngamazwi alula, ongqingili abaningi banesihlamba sokungavikeleki. Ekuhlolweni kwengqondo, lokhu kungavikeleki kuthathwa njengengxenye yemvelo yomlomo wobungqingili. Lababantu bahlala bedala futhi bavuse izimo lapho bezizwa behluthwa ngokungafanele. Lo muzwa wokungabi nabulungiswa, obonwa futhi uthuthuke ngokuziphatha kwabo, ubanikeza ilungelo elingaphakathi lokuhlala beba nolaka futhi belwe nemvelo yabo, futhi bazisole bona ngokwabo. Kulesi simo sokuphindiselela abantu abangacabangi ngokwengqondo, kodwa abaqaphile ngaphandle kwezwe babiza ongqingili “ngokungathembeki” nokungabongi. Akumangazi ukuthi inani elingakanani labobungqingili liphakathi kwababukeli, abasebenza ngokungemthetho, abenzi bokubi, abenzi bobubi bazo zonke izinhlobo, abathengisi bezidakamizwa, abagembuli, izinhloli, izimpimpi, abanikazi bama-brothel, njll.


I-Lesbianism

Uhlobo lobungqingili besifazane luyafana nowesilisa: ukungaboni ngaso linye okuxazululiwe ngunina wobuntwana. Esigabeni somlomo sokukhula (iminyaka yokuqala yokuphila kwe-1,5), isithandwa se-novice sidlula ochungechungeni lwezikhathi ezinzima nezokwehla nonina, okuthintela ukuqedwa ngempumelelo kwalesi sigaba. Isimo esiyingqayizivele sokungqubuzana kwabesilisa nabalingani besifazane ukuthi simelela ukwakheka okungalingani kwezinto ezintathu: ukuqoqwa kokungabi nabulungisa ”, okumbozwe inzondo ye-pseudo, embozwe uthando lwehaba lwe-pseudo lommeleli wesithombe sikanina (ama-neurologists akwaziwa imizwa ye-ersatz kuphela nemizwa ulaka lwe-pseudo!).

ILesbian iyi-neurotic ene-patad yokufihlwa engazi lutho, okuholela ebubini obubi i-quiroquo, ihlaya kumuntu obukele ongenalwazi. Okokuqala, ubungqingili, ngokudabukisayo, akuyona inkanuko, kepha nolaka Ingxabano: Isisekelo isochism kwengqondo i-neurotic ebhalwe ngomlomo ingxabano engalungiswa engalungiseki ebuya njenge-boomerang ngenxa yecala futhi okwesibili kuphela kukhululiwe. Okwesibili, ngaphansi kobuhlobo bokuthi “indoda nenkosikazi” ubudlelwane buhlawuliswe ngokomqondo phakathi ingane nonina. Okwesithathu, ukukhohlwa kobulili obufanayo kunikeza umbono weqiniso lokuzalwa; umuntu obukelayo uyimpumputhe injabulo yakhe, ngenkathi ngaphansi kune-neurosis yokwelapha.

Izwe elingaphandle, ngokungazi kwalo, libheka abesifazane besifazane abanesibindi. Kodwa-ke, akuyena wonke umuntu wesifazane onesibindi nobungqingili. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umuntu wesibindi ongaphandle onesibindi olingisa abesilisa ezingutsheni, ekuziphatheni nasebudlelwaneni kuphela obonisa ukufihla okufihla ukungqubuzana kwakhe kwangempela. Ukuphuphuthekiswe yile scotoma kudonswa ngabashadikazi, umbukeli odabukisayo akakwazi ukuchaza “abesilisa” abathandana nabesilisa noma iqiniso lokuthi imikhuba yezocansi yesilisa, ekhombisa ukuqondiswa okungenasici, kugxilwe kakhulu ezingxenyeni ze-cunnilingus kanye nokuncelisa ibele, futhi ukushaya indlwabu ku-dildos kugxiliwe eduze kwe-clitoris, ngokungazi. ngengono.

Iminyaka yami ye-30 yokuhlangenwe nakho komtholampilo iveze ukuthi i-lesbianism inamazinga amahlanu: 
I-1) uthando olubonakalayo lukamama; 
I-2) i-veto kanembeza ongaphakathi enqabela "injabulo ekujabuleni"; 
I-3) ukuzivikela kokuqala inzondo ye-pseudo-inzondo; 
I-4) i-veto ephindaphindiweyo kanembeza ongaphakathi, iveza inzondo yanoma iluphi uhlobo lubhekise kumama; 
I-5) Ukuzivikela kwesibili uthando lwe-pseudo.

Ngakho-ke, ubuhlanga abulona "uthando lomuntu wesifazane ngowesifazane", kepha uthando-mbumbulu lowesifazane ozibonayo odale i-alibi yangaphakathi angayiqondi. 
Lesi sakhiwo esivikelayo ku-lesbianism sichaza: 
a. Kungani abantu abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abesilisa nabesifazane babonakala ngokungezwani okukhulu nomhawu we-pathological. Ngamaqiniso angaphakathi, lolu hlobo lomhawu luyinto edlula umthombo wokubutha okungenabulungisa. 
b. Kungani inzondo enobudlova, kwesinye isikhathi evezwa ekuhlaselweni ngokomzimba, ifihlwe ngobuqili ebuhlotsheni bobungqingili. Isendlalelo se-pseudo-love (ungqimba wesihlanu) isembozo esivikela kuphela ulaka lwe-pseudo
c. Kungani abesilisa abathandana nabesifazane abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesifazane bezitika ngocansi beguqukela ekuhlolweni kwe-oedipal (i-farce yomyeni nenkosikazi) - kufihla ubudlelwane bokuzibonela kukamama nengane, obukhule ezingxabanweni zangaphambi kokukhulelwa, osindwa kakhulu yicala.
ngonyaka Kungani kungenamsebenzi ukulindela ukwaneliseka kobuntu phakathi kohlaka lwe-lesbianism. Umuntu ongathandani nobungqingili ufuna ngokungathokozi ubumnandi bokubona, ngakho-ke akanakukwazi ukujabula.

Ukufakwa kwe-lescissistic lesbian futhi kuchaza ukuthi kungani ukungqubuzana okungahambi kahle komama kungapheli. Ngaphansi kwentuthuko ejwayelekile, ukungezwani nomama kuxazululwa intombazane ngokwehlukana: "inzondo" yakudala ihlala kumama, isakhi sothando "sidluliselwa kuyise, futhi esikhundleni se-deness" baby-mama "(isigaba sokuqala) kuvela isimo esingunxantathu se-oedipal "ingane-mama-ubaba". Abathandana nobungqingili besikhathi esizayo bazama ukwenza okufanayo, kodwa baphinde babuyiselwa empini yokuqala. “Isixazululo” se-oedipal (ngokwaso isigaba sesikhashana ingane esishiya phakathi nokukhula kwaso okujwayelekile) ukuthi abesilisa abathandana nobulili obufanayo basebenzise indoda-unkosikazi (ubaba-umama) ukuzifihla njengesembozo esivikelayo.

Kuyadingeka ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwezindlela ezimbili zokuhlonza okungazi lutho: “ukuhola” (ukuhola) kanye “nokuhola” (ukudukisa). Esokuqala simele izifiso zomuntu ezicindezelwe, ezibangelwe imiphumela yokuphela kwengxabano engenangqondo, kanti okwesibili kubhekisele ekubonakalweni kwabantu abakhethwe ukwenqaba nokwenqaba ukukhalaza kukanembeza wangaphakathi ngokumelene nalezi zifiso ze-neurotic. Ukukhonjwa "okuholayo" kohlobo olusebenzayo lwesitabane kubhekiselwa kulo preedipal omama futhi "kuholele" kubaba we-oedipal. Ngohlobo oluzayo, ukuhlonza "ukuhola" kubhekisele enganeni, futhi "ukuhola" kuyo i-oedipal umama. Konke okungenhla, kunjalo, kusekelwa ubufakazi bemitholampilo.

Ngaphezu kwalokho:

E. Bergler: Ukwelashwa Kobungqingili

Imicabango emi-4 kokuthi “Ubungqingili: isifo noma indlela yokuphila?”

  1. Isihloko esimangalisayo. Okuningi okushiwoyo lapha, bengikuqonda ngokuxakile. Empeleni, ngiyakugwema konke ukuxhumana nabantu, kodwa ngezikhathi ezithile kwakudingeka ngihlangane nabo. Lokhu kufanele kwaziwe kubo bonke abantu abajwayelekile. Ukungakhathalelwa kule nhloso kubulala sonke isintu.

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