Ividiyo ephelele ngesiNgisi

Kusukela ngesikhathi senguquko yezocansi, isimo sengqondo ngobungqingili sishintshe kakhulu. Namuhla, kwabongqingili eNtshonalanga, impi ibonakala iyanqotshwa: amaklabhu wezitabane, amaqembu ezitabane, umshado wezitabane. Manje "kulungile." Izijeziso zokuphatha kanye nokuqulwa kwamacala okungakaze kubonwe kulindelwe kulabo abaphikisana nabantu be-LGBT, kanye namalebula womuntu othanda ngokweqile ne-Homophobe.

Ukubekezelela nokwamukelwa okwandile kwenkululeko yezocansi kusebenza kubo bonke abantu kodwa ingxenye eyodwa yabantu - labo abafuna ukuhlukana nobungqingili futhi baqale indlela yokuphila ehlukile. Lamadoda nabesifazane banemizwa yobungqingili, kepha abafuni ukwamukela ubunikazi bobungqingili. Bakholelwa ukuthi ubungqingili abumeleli imvelo yabo yangempela futhi bafuna ukukhululwa.

Abantu abanjalo ngokuvamile babhekana nokusabela okuzondayo ‘kulabo ababekade bengabangane’ babo. Ukukhetha kwabo ukushiya izitabane zabo ngemuva kuvame ukubonakala njengokukhaphela umphakathi we-LGBT futhi kubenze abalahliwe. Umphakathi onobulili obuhlukile uyabaxwaya; emphakathini wezitabane babeka usongo ngesikhundla sabo. Eqinisweni, awukho umphakathi ongabamukela, ngakho-ke laba bantu abathandi ukuzimemezela. 

Abanye babo baphendukela ekwelashweni, okuzobasiza ukuba bafinyelele ushintsho olufisayo, kepha izinketho zabo zikhawulelwe futhi zivame ukuhambisana nokumelana ngamandla. Abaholi be-LGBT bathi ukwelashwa okunjalo kuyingozi, ukuzonda abantu besifazane nokuthi akekho umuntu ongakushintsha ngempela ubulili babo. Abanye bathi ukwelashwa okunjalo kufanele kwenqatshelwe, kanti abanye bayakuvikela, bethi bashintshile, nokuthi wonke umuntu kufanele abe nenkululeko yokuzikhethela indlela afuna ukuyihambisa futhi afuna ukuyithanda - noma ngabe ngenxa yalokhu kudingeka ukushiya umphakathi onobungqingili. 

UDkt Joseph Nicolosi, Jr. - indodana kadokotela ohola phambili ekwelashweni kongqingili, uyaqhubeka nebhizinisi likayise ngemuva kokushona kwakhe kungazelele ngonyaka owedlule. Kwasungulwa nguye Ukuhlangana kabusha Kwezinhlangano Zokwelapha, anhlobonhlobo losizo ngokwengqondo lunikezwa kubantu abazama ukubhekana nokuhehwa okungathandeki kobulili obuhlukile.

Kunomehluko okufanele wenziwe phakathi kwezinhlobo ezahlukene zokwelapha, kuchaza uJoseph.” — Lokho abanye abakubiza ngokuthi “ukwelapha ngokuguqula” yigama elibanzi kakhulu futhi elingacacile, elingenayo ikhodi yezimiso zokuziphatha noma indikimba ebusayo. Ukwelapha ngokuguqula into eyenziwa kakhulu ngabantu abangenazo izincwadi. Ekwelashweni kokubuyisela, iklayenti lidlala indima ehamba phambili. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esinelayisensi sinikeza indinganiso yeklayenti, ukwelashwa okusekelwe ebufakazini kokuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni noma noma yikuphi ukulutheka kwezocansi okungenzeka banazo, futhi njengoba lezi zinkinga zilungiswa, ubulili buqala ukuzishintshela.

Ezingxoxweni mayelana nezimiso zokuziphatha zale ndlela, umbuzo wobunikazi uvame ukuvela: ingabe laba bantu bangabantu "abangqingili" esizama ukubaqondisa, noma bebelokhu beqondile futhi sivele sibasize ukuba babe ngokwabo? Lokhu kumayelana nokuzikhethela, futhi okuchaza ngempela ngamunye wethu akukhona ukuthi sifuna ukulala nobani, hhayi izifiso zethu zobulili, kodwa izimiso zethu. Amakhasimende ami nawo akholelwa ukuthi imibono yawo iyawachaza, futhi ngiyavumelana nawo. 

Kunezinsolo eziningi zokuthi abantu baphoqelelwa ngenkani ukuthi baziguqule. Ngicabanga ukuthi kukhona iqiniso lomlando kulokhu - konke kwenzeka ngamaqembu enkolo ehlukene. Kukhona nabazali abaqinile kakhulu abenza izingane zabo ziguquke. Kodwa-ke, lokhu akukhona neze okwenziwa ukwelashwa kabusha - asizami ukuqeda idrayivu yobungqingili engafuneki. Sisiza laba bantu ukuba baziqaphele, futhi ngokushesha lapho lokhu kwenzeka, ubulili buyashintsha bodwa. 

Njengoba igama lisho, sikhuluma ngokubuyiselwa ekuhlanganyeleni. Umqondo ukuhlangana futhi nezingxenye zobuntu bethu ezihlukanisiwe noma ezaliwe. Amaklayenti wami amaningi anomuzwa wokuthi njengengane izifiso zawo ezinesibindi zenqatshwa zagxekwa, ngomqondo othile. 

Abesilisa abaningi abakhangwa abobulili obufanayo bazothi bebelokhu bezizwa “ngaleyo ndlela.” Siyazi ukuthi inkinga iqala esemncane kakhulu - ukunqanyulwa ebudodeni. Abafana abanjalo bavame ukuba nomuzwa wokuthi babuthaka kakhudlwana, abakwazi ukuhlangana namadoda noma noyise, futhi cishe lesi isizathu esibaluleke kakhulu. Kukhona okuhlukile, kodwa, kodwa iningi lamadoda athole ukukhangwa abobulili obufanayo, lokhu kuyinqubo evamile ngempela. Okungahlanganiswa ukuthi amaningi alamadoda achaza okuhlangenwe nakho okufana okuphawulekayo kwasebuntwaneni. Ngokuvamile bachaza uyise njengabakude nabagxekayo, futhi omama babo njengabangenangqondo kakhulu, abagxambukelayo, futhi ngezinye izikhathi abanonya. Ngaphezu kwalokho, la maklayenti ngokuvamile anesimo sengqondo esibucayi. Uma zihlangene, lezi zici zandisa amathuba okuthi umfana abe nobunzima ekukhuleni kobulili bakhe: ukuhlukana nomama wakhe kanye nokuhlobana noyise. 

Esigabeni esithile sentuthuko, umfana uzozama ukuthola ukuxhumana nabantu abasemvelweni wakhe futhi abalingise. Kepha uma imvelo yomfana ingazithandi izifiso zakhe zesilisa, uma okuthile emvelweni wakhe kwenza umsebenzi, umfana abe nomuzwa wokucasuka, abese ebuyela kunina, futhi engenzi uguquko oludingekayo kobunikazi bakhe. Lokhu sikubona ngamakhasimende ethu amaningi. Amantombazane angabangani bawo abakhulu. Bayazi abesifazane njengasemuva kwezandla zabo. Abesilisa abaqondakali kubo, amadoda ayajabulisa, exotic. Amadoda awaziwa kumakhasimende ami.

Ubudoda bomuntu okhangwa bobulili obuhlukile abutholi ukuvunywa okugcwele. Wababuza ubudoda bakhe; akazange akholelwe kuyo kuze kube sekupheleni. Isizathu salokhu kungaba ubudlelwane obubi noma obusondelene nobaba noma abafowethu, ukuxhashazwa esikoleni, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, njll. Lapho umuntu ebusheni bakhe egxekwa yindawo ahlala kuyo, lapho ezizwa enamahloni amaningi, kulapho egxekwa khona kakhulu, lokho kugada (“cha, cha, awukwazi ukudlala nabanye abafana odakeni, ungagula”), unomuzwa wokuthi akafani nayo yonke into ukuthi ayilungile ngokwanele, ayiqinile ngokwanele - lapho eqala ukukholelwa kuyo, bese eyizwa, bese-ke, ngaphandle kwesizathu, lapho ukuthomba kuqala, ukuvela kobungqingili. 

Uma iklayenti elikholelwa ukuthi ukukhangwa kwabo bobulili obufanayo akumeleli ukuthi lingubani ngempela lifika lizobona udokotela oyisitabane, udokotela uzovele alitshele ukuthi akavunyelwe ukuba nalo mbono, kufanele avele avume ukuthi “ungqingili,” wamukele “ubungqingili” bakhe futhi wamukele - futhi yilokhu kuphela okungamsiza azizwe engcono. Kuneqeqebana elikhulu kakhulu labantu okungabafanele lokhu, abanomuzwa wokuthi lokhu kubalungele. Asiphoqi iklayenti ukuthi likhethe noma iyiphi indlela. Sinikeza noma iyiphi inketho azikhethele yona. 

Njengoba ukwelashwa kuqhubeka, amaklayenti aqaphela ukwanda kokuzethemba, azizwa exhumeke namanye amadoda futhi ekhululeka ngokwengeziwe ekuxhumaneni nawo, futhi njengomkhiqizo owedlule, aqaphela ukuthi ukuheha kwawo ubulili obufanayo kuncipha ngokwawo. Udinga ukwazi ukuthi iminyaka yokugcina yesayensi ye-30 ikhombisile ukuthi ubulili buyamamanzi futhi bungashintsha kwabanye abantu. Lokhu kuhambisana ngokuphelele ne-neuroscience. Siyazi ukuthi lezo zindawo zobuchopho ezihlotshaniswa kakhulu nokuthandwa yizocansi yizona zindawo kuphela ezishintsha empilweni yethu yonke.

Ukushintsha kungenzeka. Isinqumo ngesakho.

Source: https://www.reintegrativetherapy.com/