UJoseph Nicolosi, udokotela wePsychology uthi:
Njengososayensi bezengqondo ophatha amadoda athambekele ebungqingili, ngibuka ngothuka ukuthi inhlangano ye-LGBT iqinisekisa kanjani umhlaba ukuthi umqondo wokuthi “gay” udinga ukucabanga ngokuphelele komuntu.
Umphakathi wezazi zezengqondo usolwa kakhulu ngalokhu kufakwa kwemiqondo. Phambilini, wonke umuntu wayevuma ukuthi into evamile yile "esebenza ngokulandela isabelo sayo." Kwakungekho okufana “nomuntu wesitabane,” ngoba bonke ubuntu babuchazwa njengokwemvelo nangobungqingili. Eminyakeni yami ye-30 yeminyaka yokuzilolonga, ngikholisekile ngeqiniso lokuqonda kokuqala kwe-anthropological.
Ubungqingili, ngombono wami, empeleni kuwuphawu lokulimala kobulili. Ukuziphatha kobungqingili kuwumzamo obonakalayo woku “bopha” inxeba eliyinhloko, ukuhlukanisa umfana nobuningi besibeletho, ahluleka ukulubonisa. Lokhu kwehlukanisa le ndlela yokuziphatha kubantu abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile, okwenzeka ngokwemvelo inqubo yokwakheka okungaziwa kobulili. Ingxabano enkulu ezimweni eziningi zobungqingili ibukeka kanjena: ingane, evame ukuzwela kakhulu futhi ithambekele ekuhlukumezeni ngokomzwelo ukwedlula isilinganiso, ilindele uthando nokwamukelwa kusuka kumzali wobulili obufanayo, kepha ngasikhathi sinye izizwe idumele futhi imthukuthelele, ngoba lokhu umzali ubonwa ngumntwana njengongakhathaleli noma obukhulu kakhulu. (Qaphela ukuthi abafowethu nodadewabo bengane bangabona umzali ofanayo).
Ukuziphatha kobungqingili kukwakha kabusha lobu buhlobo obuzonda uthando. Njengakho konke ukuphambukisa, ukuheha ubulili obufanayo kuhlala kuqukethe inkambu yangaphakathi yenzondo. Ngisebenzisa leli gama, hhayi ukukhubekisa noma ngubani, kepha ngomqondo wokuthi ukuthuthukiswa kobungqingili "kuhlanekezela", okungukuthi, "kwenza abantu bahlukane" nento efanelekile yokunamathiselwa okungamanyala.
Ngakho-ke, ubungqingili empeleni bugxile ekungqubuzaneni: ukungqubuzana kokwamukela ubulili bemvelo bomuntu, ukungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni bomzali nengane, futhi, njengomthetho, ukungqubuzana kokwenqatshwa ontanga bobulili obufanayo. Futhi lokhu kusho ukuthi kuzovela imodeli yokuhambisa ngokunikeza amandla enobungozi ebuhlotsheni bobulili obufanayo. Kumuntu othambekele ebungqingili, ubulili bomuntu ngumzamo wokuthatha futhi ubuse enye indoda. Kusebenza 'njengento' engokomfanekiso yomunye umuntu, futhi kuvame ukubandakanya ulaka olukhulu kunothando.
Abongqingili abaningi bathi bahlukunyezwa ngokocansi abesilisa ebuntwaneni. Ukuhlukumeza ngokocansi nakho kuyodlame, ngoba kufihliwe njengothando. Nakhu okubikwa esinye isiguli ngothile osemdala owayemhlukumeza:
“Ngangifuna uthando nokunakwa, futhi konke ngandlela thile kwakudidaniswa nobulili. Ngaleso sikhathi, ngangingenandaba nhlobo nabanye abafana. Bengicabanga ukuthi (umkhohlisi) upholile. Akazange anginake, kuphela lapho efuna ukuzijabulisa nami. Lapho ubudlelwane bethu buqala ezocansi, kwakuyinto ekhethekile, ethokozisayo futhi enamandla, sengathi kunemfihlo phakathi kwethu. Ngangingenabo abanye abangane, futhi ubuhlobo bami obubi nobaba babungasizi ngalutho. Bengifuna ubungani ... (kepha) lezi zinkumbulo ziyangikhathaza ... ngiyazizonda. Konke lokhu kuyenyanyeka, akulungile .... Lesi yisizathu sokuheha kwami ubulili bami.
Ukuxhumana phakathi kodlame lwangaphambilini nokuziphatha kwanamuhla kobungqingili kwesiguli kuyisibonelo sokuphindaphinda okuphoqelekile. Ekufuneni uthando nokwamukelwa, uzithola esekuphindaphindweni lwesimo esiholela ekuzenzakaliseni nasekuzikhohliseni, ngosizo ngalo lapho engazi khona ukuthi ufuna ukunqoba okokugcina futhi alulaze ukulimala kwakhe. Ukuphindaphinda okuphoqelelwe kuqukethe izinto ezintathu: i-1) izame ukuzithiba, i-2) uhlobo oluthile lokuzijezisa, i-3) ukuphepha kokungqubuzana okukhona.
Kwabantu abanjalo, isifiso sokufinyeleleka ngokwabo ngokuhehwa ngokobulili obufanayo sigqugquzelwa ukwesaba ukuthi ukuziqinisa kwabo besilisa kuyokwehluleka nakanjani kuholele ehlazweni. Bakhetha isiko lokukhiqizwa kabusha kwesipiliyoni esedlule ngethemba lokuthi, ngokungafani namacala edlule, "kulokhu ngizokuthola engikufunayo: ngalo muntu ngizozitholela amandla obudoda" futhi "kulokhu umuzwa ocindezelayo wokungabi nathemba kwangaphakathi Ekugcineni kunyamalale. ”Esikhundleni salokho, unika indoda elandelayo amandla phezu kwakhe ukuze imlahle, imhlaze futhi imenze azizwe engelutho. Lapho lesi simo esinamahloni sidlalwa kaninginingi, kumqinisa kuphela ukuqiniseka kwakhe ukuthi uyisisulu esingenathemba futhi akamfanele ngokuphelele uthando.
Abongqingili bavame ukuvuma ukomela i- "adrenaline rush", ekhuthaza into yokwesaba kokuqala. Kukhona i-subculture yonke yezitabane ezenza ucansi ezindaweni zomphakathi, bayakujabulela ukuyenza ezindaweni ezinjengamapaki, izindlu zangasese zomphakathi nezindawo zokupaka izimoto. Umusa wabo oyisidlakudla uqiniswa ukwesaba ukuthi bazobanjwa bebambene ngesandla.
Zenzele sodomy empeleni kuyinto yokubheka. Ukuhlangene kwe-anal, njengokwephula injongo yomzimba wethu, akunampilo futhi kuyalimaza ngokwasemzimbeni, futhi kufaka ukulimala kwe-rectum nokusakazeka kwezifo, ngoba izicubu zamathumbu ziba buthaka futhi zibuthuntu. Ngokwengqondo, lesi senzo sonakalisa isithunzi nobuntu besilisa. Ukwenza okucansini okuphoqayo, nayo yonke idrama yayo nezithembiso zokwaneliseka, kufihla isifiso esijulile, sokuqala esinempilo sokuthola ukunamathela kweqiniso. Lokhu kusivulela iwindi lokuqonda ukuthi kungani umphakathi wezitabane uqhubeka nokungeneliseki okukhulu, yize kube nempumelelo engakaze ibonwe ekwamukelweni komphakathi.
Ukungasebenzi komhlaba wezitabane zowesilisa akunakuphikwa. Ucwaningo lusinikeza ubufakazi bokuqhathanisa okungelona okulungile okulandelayo nabesilisa abathandanayo:
• Ukuphoqelelwa ngokobulili kwabungqingili kungaphezulu kokuphindwe kayisithupha.
• Abungqingili bahlukumeza kaningi ubunikazi bomlingani wakho.
• Abungqingili bakhombisa ukuthambekela okudumazayo.
• Ukudlanga kwezifo zokuphazamiseka nokukhathazeka cishe kucishe kube kathathu.
• Ukuphazanyiswa ukwethuka kwenzeka kaningi kaningi.
• Isifo sobuntu be-Bipolar - kungenzeka izikhathi ezingaphezu kwezihlanu.
• Ukuziphatha kwabantu ngokungahambi kahle - cishe amahlandla amane.
• i-agoraphobia (ukwesaba ukuba sezindaweni zomphakathi) - amahlandla ayisithupha kaningi.
• Ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo okuphoqelela - izikhathi eziyisikhombisa kaningi.
• Ukuzilimaza okuhlosiwe (ukuthambekela kokuzibulala) kuze kube izikhathi ze-10 kaningi.
• Umlutha weNicotine - kaningi kaningi.
• Umlutha wotshwala cishe uphakeme kathathu.
• Ezinye izinhlobo zokuluthwa yizidakamizwa zande kaningi kane.
Ukuya ocansini okungaqondakali kuboniswa kahle ezifundweni zakudala zikaMcUirter noMatison, ababhale encwadini yabo ethi The Male Couple (1984) ngobuhlobo be165 ababuqaphelile, hhayi umbhangqwana ongashadile okwazile ukuhlala uthembekile iminyaka engaphezu kwemihlanu. Ababhali, ngokuba bangumbhangqwana wobungqingili, bamangala ukuthola ukuthi ukuphinga bekungagcini nje ngokubhubhisa isikhathi sobudlelwano, kodwa bekufanele futhi nokubugcina. Baphetha ngokuthi: “Into ebaluleke kunazo zonke ebeka imibhangqwana ndawonye ngemuva kweminyaka eyishumi yokuhlala ndawonye ukungabi nomuzwa wobunikazi bodwa” (k. 256).
Ubungqingili abunantsingiselo ezweni lemvelo, ngaphandle nje kophawu kanye nomphumela wezehlakalo ezimbi. Ngaphandle kwalokho, lokhu akuyona into yaleli zwe, inganekwane eyenziwe ngokuqanjwa inkanuko nokukhanuka. Kepha ngosizo lwabezindaba, abaphathi beHollywood nabezepolitiki (sibonga kakhulu abaphathi baka-Obama), kwatholakala incazelo entsha yomuntu ongumuntu. Lobuqili bezilimi badala inganekwane, ehlanganisa imicabango emfushane nokukhohlisa okungamanyala, okwakubamba okungokoqobo. I-Classical anthropology yaguqulwa yabhekiswa phansi, kwasungulwa indoda entsha. Lapho umuntu elenga ilebuli ethi "gay", uzikhipha ezweni lemvelo futhi azinikele ekubandakanyeni ngokuphelele kwesiphetho sesintu.
Kusuka kubaba kuya endodaneni, bese kuya kumzukulu, kuya kumzukulu omkhulu, inzalo yendoda ukuxhumana kwayo ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane. Esebenzisa iDNA, uyaqhubeka nokuphila ngemuva kokufa. Lapho isesesibelethweni sowesifazane, imbewu yakhe iveza impilo entsha yomuntu. Kepha ngokobungqingili, imbewu yokuphila imane inyamalale ekuwohlokeni nasekufeni. Esenzweni esingokwemvelo sokuya ocansini, isintu siyagcinwa, futhi umuntu uyaqhubeka nokuphila ezizukulwaneni ezizayo. Kepha ebudlelwaneni bocansi obuphazanyiswa usizi, okuphula yona kanye injongo yomzimba wethu, amandla ayo emvelo aholela ekufeni nasekuqothulweni. Ngakho-ke, ukuhlelwa okuhle komzimba kuveza lo mehluko: impilo entsha noma ukubola nokufa.
Akumangazi ukuthi sibona ukungagculiseki okungaka ezweni lezitabane, hhayi ngenxa yokungamukeleki komphakathi, kodwa ngoba umuntu ophila kulomhlaba uzwa ubuze bokuthi ungubani. Imelela ukunqanyulwa kohlobo lweminyaka lwamadlozi akhe asemakhulu eminyaka, ababexhunyaniswe komunye nomunye ngemishado yemvelo amakhulu amaningi eminyaka. Emhlabeni wangempela, ubunikazi bezitabane abunangqondo. Ubungqingili buwuphawu nje lwesinxephezelo esisusiwe sokulahleka kokunamathiselwe.
Jeetje, heftig stigmatiserende umbhalo. Zo verdrietig dat dit geschreven is. I-bijzonder, i-hetero's geen enkel inkinga ye-fetish hebben, ye? Oh wacht.. ja, dit is toch echt wel .ru :(. Laat mensen alsjeblieft met rust, laat ze, alsjeblieft, en ga met je eigen onvrede en heersdrang om. herkenning te vinden omdat ik verstoting meemaakte door geaardheid. en bij al die tegenwind, Ja dan gaan mensen de pijn verdoven, ik ga me verder niet verdedigen.
laat de kinderen wahlangana nokugqwala. ngigobile gevaarlijk. heteroseksuele fetisjen merken geen normale seks op. geef toe dat je abnormaal bent en laat de kinderen met rust met je propaganda. I-maakt ons niet uit hoe je seks hebt, maar je wilt de kinderen van normale mensen hersenspoelen en de normalisatie van hun deshiadatie opleggen. je bent ziek en gevaarlijk. ngikholelwa ukuthi i-Westen idlula i-veranderd, futhi ingakwazi ukumisa i-totdat ye-hele planeet infecteert.