NgoJulayi 2020, uJohn Blosnich we-Center for LGBTQ+ Health Equity washicilela olunye ucwaningo "ngezingozi" zokwelapha ngokuvuselela. Ngemva kokuhlola abantu abangebona abashintshe ubulili abayi-1518, ithimba likaBlosnich laphetha ngokuthi abantu abaye bashintsha indlela yokucabanga ngocansi (i-SOCE) babike amazinga aphezulu okufuna ukuzibulala kanye nokuzama ukuzibulala kunalabo abangazange. Baphikisana ngokuthi i-SOCE imelela "ukucindezeleka okulimazayo okwandisa ukuzibulala kubantu abangebona abashadile." Ngakho-ke, imizamo yokushintsha indlela yokucabanga ayamukeleki futhi kufanele ithathelwe indawo "ngokunakekelwa okuqinisekisayo" okusiza abantu ukuthi balungise ukuthambekela kwabo kobungqingili. Ucwaningo lwabizwa ngokuthi "ubufakazi obunamandla kakhulu kuze kube manje bokuthi i-SOCE ibangela ukuzibulala."
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Ukuhlukahluka kwe-Sex drive kanye nenhlalakahle emadodeni
OLUNYE UCWANINGO LUFAKAZA UKUSEBENZA KANYE NEKUPHEPHA KWELAPHA LOKUBUYISA.
Nakuba osopolitiki abaqondiswa imibono ye-LGBT* beshaya imithetho evimbela usizo lwezokwelapha kubantu abakhangwa ubungqingili abangafunwa, kuye kwakhishwa olunye ucwaningo e-United States olubonisa ngokugculisayo ukuthi abantu abanjalo bangasizwa.
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Ukwelashwa kobungqingili ngaphambi kwenkathi yokulungiswa kwezombusazwe
Amacala amaningi okuphumelela kokulungiswa okwelashwa kokuziphatha kobungqingili nokuheha kuchazwa ngokuningiliziwe ezincwadini zobungcweti. Bika I-National Association for the Study and Therapy ofungqingili iveza ukubukelwa kobufakazi obuqandayo, imibiko yomtholampilo kanye nocwaningo kusukela ngasekupheleni kwekhulu le-19 kuze kube manje, okufakazela ngokuqiniseka ukuthi amadoda nabesifazane abanentshisekelo bangalwenza lolu shintsho kusuka ebungqingili kuya kobungqingili. Ngaphambi kwenkathi yokunemba kwezombusazwe, kwakuyiqiniso elaziwayo lesayensi, okuyinto ngokukhululeka Ubhale umshini omkhulu wezindaba. Ngisho ne-American Psychiatric Association, ngaphandle kobungqingili be-syntonic kuhlu lokuphazamiseka kwengqondo e-1974, kuphawuliwe, lokho "Izindlela zokwelapha zesimanje zivumela ingxenye enkulu yabongqingili abafuna ukuguqula isimo sabo ukwenza kanjalo".
Okulandelayo ukuhumusha izindatshana kusuka eNew York Times ye1971.
Ukwelashwa Ngokuvuselela - Ukushintsha Kungenzeka
Kusukela kwaba nenguquko yobulili, izimo zengqondo ngobungqingili ziye zashintsha kakhulu. Namuhla, kongqingili baseNtshonalanga, impi ibonakala iyinqobile: amakilabhu ezitabane, imibukiso yokuziqhenya kwezitabane, umshado wobulili obufanayo. Manje "i-gay ilungile." Noma ubani omelana ne-LGBT*, kanye namalebula abantu abakhulu nabathanda abantu abathandanayo, ubhekana nezijeziso zokuphatha kanye namacala angakaze abonwe ngaphambili.
Ukubekezelela nokwamukelwa okwandile kwenkululeko yezocansi kusebenza kubo bonke abantu kodwa ingxenye eyodwa yabantu - labo abafuna ukuhlukana nobungqingili futhi baqale indlela yokuphila ehlukile. Lamadoda nabesifazane banemizwa yobungqingili, kepha abafuni ukwamukela ubunikazi bobungqingili. Bakholelwa ukuthi ubungqingili abumeleli imvelo yabo yangempela futhi bafuna ukukhululwa.
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Impi yokwejwayelekile - uGerard Aardweg
Igayidi yokwelashwa kobungqingili esekwe eminyakeni engamashumi amathathu yokuhlangenwe nakho kokwelashwa kombhali osebenzisane namakhasimende angongqingili angaphezu kwe-300.
Nginikezela le ncwadi kwabesifazane nabesilisa abahlukunyezwa imizwa yobungqingili, kepha abafuni ukuphila njengama-gay futhi badinga usizo nokwesekwa okwakhayo.
Labo abakhohliwe, abanezwi labo elisungisiwe, futhi abangazitholi izimpendulo emphakathini wethu, elihlonipha ilungelo lokuziqinisa lodwa lesitabane esivulekile.
Labo abacwaswa uma becabanga noma benomuzwa wokuthi umbono wobungqingili obungenakuguqulwa ungamanga alusizi, futhi lokhu akusikho okwabo.
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Ukwelashwa kabusha: imibuzo nezimpendulo
Bonke ongqingili?
"U-Gay" ubuwena umuntu azikhethela bona. Akubona bonke abantu abakhangwa abantu bobulili obufanayo abazibiza ngokuthi "abangqingili." Abantu abangazibonakalisi njengabantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo bakholelwa ukuthi empeleni bangabantu abathandana nabobulili obufanayo futhi bafuna usizo lokuthola izizathu ezithile zokuthi kungani bethola ukukhangwa kwabantu bobulili obufanayo okungafunwa. Ngesikhathi sokwelashwa, abeluleki kanye nodokotela bezengqondo basiza amakhasimende ngokuziphatha ukuthi athole izimbangela zokukhangwa kwabo kwabantu bobulili obufanayo futhi babasize ngozwelo ukubhekana nezici eziholela emizweni yabantu bobulili obufanayo. Laba bantu, abayingxenye ebalulekile yomphakathi wethu, balwela ukuvikela ilungelo labo lokuthola usizo nokusekelwa ukuze banqobe ukukhangwa kwabantu bobulili obufanayo okungafunwa, bashintshe ukuthambekela kwabo ngokocansi, kanye/noma balondoloze ukungashadi. Lokhu kufezwa ngezinhlelo zokuqinisekisa ubulili, okuhlanganisa ukwelulekwa kanye nokwelashwa kokuqinisekisa ubulili obufanayo, okwaziwa nangokuthi "ukungenelela kokushintsha ukuthambekela kobulili" (SOCE) noma ukwelashwa kokushintsha ukuthambekela kobulili.
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Idayari yongqingili
Mfundi othandekayo, igama lami nginguJake. Ngingungqingili owayeneminyaka engamashumi amabili ngivela eNgilandi. Le dayari ingeyalabo abaphikisana nombono wokushintsha isimo sezocansi. Ochwepheshe bafunde ezocansi amashumi eminyaka futhi baphethe ngokuthi ezocansi ziyahlukahluka kubantu abaningi. Ubufakazi busikisela ukuthi imizwa yezocansi ingashintsha impilo yonke. Iqiniso lokuthi abantu abaningi bashintsha isimo sabo sokuya ocansini iqiniso elifakazelwe ngezibalo. Ngingomunye walaba bantu.
Angisazizwa ngikhangwa ngabesilisa ngokobulili; amantombazane manje akhange kakhulu kimi. Ngake ngacabanga kanjalo, kodwa manje sengicabanga.
Ngesinye isikhathi, ngilele ngobusuku obunesizungu, ngazibona ngisezingalweni zenye indoda, manje sengingazibona ngise ntombazane yesifazane.
Abanye abeneme ngalesi simo sezinto. Baqinisekile ngocansi lwabo kangangokuba abakwazi ukwamukela ukuthi kunalabo abangasenayo imizwa yabo. Bajabule kakhulu lapho abantu baphenduka ubungqingili, kodwa abathandi lapho kwenzeka okuphambene. Kwesinye isikhathi abantu abanjengami babizwa ngokuba ngabasuki bezondo, futhi lokho kungenxa yokuthi angisafuni ukulala nabantu besilisa!
Ngabe bangathanda ukuthi ngithule ngokushintsha ubulili bami, ngiphile ngamanga futhi ngiphike okwenzekile? Yebo, kubonakala ngathi! Bafuna ukungithulisa, bangincishe ilungelo lokuphila ngendlela engiyikhethayo, futhi bangiphoqe ukuthi ngiholele indlela yokuphila ebona ukuthi iyadingeka!
Angigcinanga ngokuyeka ukuba yisitabane, kodwa futhi ngizizwa ngijabule ngokwengeziwe. Mina uqobo ngizophatha impilo yami ngendlela engifuna ngayo, hhayi indlela abangitshela ngayo. Nginqume ukuguqula ubulili bami futhi ngakwenza.
Icaphuna izishoshovu zezitabane:
Ngilapha!
Angisemgceni futhi!
Jwayela!
Indaba ephelele ngesiNgisi: https://www.equalityandjusticeforall.org/diary-of-an-ex-gay-man