Kwi-1989, iitshantliziyo ezimbini ze-Harvard ipapashiwe incwadi echaza isicwangciso sokutshintsha izimo zengqondo zoluntu ngokubanzi malunga nesithembu ngenkqubo yokusasaza, imigaqo esisiseko ekuxoxwa ngayo apha. Kwisahluko sokugqibela sale ncwadi, ababhali bazichaza ngokucacileyo i-10 eyona ngxaki iphambili ekuziphatheni kwabantu abathandanayo, ekufuneka kujongwane nayo ukuze kuphuculwe umfanekiso wabo emehlweni oluntu ngokubanzi. Ababhali babhala ukuba amafanasini alugatya lonke uhlobo lokuziphatha; ukuba babelane ngesondo kwiindawo zikawonke-wonke, kwaye ukuba bangene ngendlela, baqala ukukhwaza malunga nengcinezelo kunye ne-Homophobia; ukuba bangamanyala, banobungqwabalala, bazingcayo, bathambekele kubuxoki, kukukrexeza, ukungathembeki, inkohliso, ukuzitshabalalisa, ukukhanyela inyani, ukungakhathaleli, inkanuko yezopolitiko neengcinga zobuyatha. Kuyathakazelisa ukuqaphela ukuba i-40 kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, ezi mpawu zaziphantse zabangathi zichazwa ngumntu onezigulo zengqondo odumileyo ogama lingu Edmund Bergler, owafunda ubufanasini iminyaka engama-30 waza waqatshelwa “njengeyona theory ibalulekileyo” kule nkalo. Kwathatha ababhali ngaphezu kwamaphepha e-80 ukuchaza iingxaki ezinxulumene nendlela yokuphila yoluntu lwama-gay. Umlweli we-LGBT u-Igor Kochetkov (umntu osebenza njenge-arhente yangaphandle) kwintetho yakhe "Amandla opolitiko anentshukumo ye-LGBT yehlabathi: indlela abaphembeleleli bayifezekise ngayo injongo yabo" Yathi le ncwadi iye yaba yi-ABC yabalweli bentshukumo be-LGBT kwihlabathi lonke, kubandakanya naseRussia, kwaye uninzi lusaqhubeka kwimigaqo echazwe kuyo. Kumbuzo: "Ngaba uluntu lwe-LGBT luzisusile kwezi ngxaki?" U-Igor Kochetkov wamphendula ngokumsusa wambuza, eqinisekisa ukuba iingxaki zisahleli. Oku kulandelayo yinkcazo emfutshane.

1. Ubuxoki, ubuxoki kunye nobuxoki kwakhona
2. Ukwala isimilo
3. I-narcissism kunye nokuziphatha kokuzingca
4. Ukuzincama, ukuzenzakalisa
5. Ukuphathwa gadalala esidlangalaleni
6. Ukuziphatha kakubi kwimivalo
7. Ukuziphatha okungafanelekanga kubudlelwane
8. Ukuvinjwa kwemvakalelo kunye ne-anesthesia
9. Ukuphikiswa kwenyani, ukucinga okungenangqondo kunye ne-mythomania
10. Ifilosofi yesini gay kunye nengcinezelo yokuchaneka kwezopolitiko

Imeko yethu yoLuntu: Ukuqhayisa ngeGay Precedes Fall

Injongo yethu kukubhala esi sahluko singathandekiyo

Samazisa cwangciso Iphulo elibanzi le-PR, elinokuthi licoceke umfanekiso wethu ongahlambulukanga, kodwa neyona nyani iphuhlisayo ehlabathini ayinakukwazi ukugcina umfanekiso olungileyo kwixesha elide, ukuba asicoceki ngokwenene. Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, iimpumlo zethu (namanye amalungu omzimba) azicocekile. Izithsaba ezisithiye hayi nje ngenxa yeentsomi, kodwa nangenxa yoko simele zona. Baqinisekile ukuba indlela yokuphila yesini-ayisiyontlalontle yethu, kodwa indlela esiphila ngayo - yingxaki enkulu. Esi sahluko siza kukuxelela ukuba yintoni engalunganga uninzi lwezitabane kwaye kutheni.

Yintoni? Akufanelekanga ukuba abantu batshintshe?

Ngelishwa hayi. Ewe kunjalo, banetyala lokubandezeleka kwethu, kodwa kuya kuba yimpazamo ukwala ukuba ityala lethu likwindlela ezinxulumene nathi. Kwiminyaka edlulileyo, besiphawula indlela yokuziphatha gay ebijongeka ingekho mthethweni, ngokuzingca, entshabalalisayo, ebubudenge, kwaye imbi. Olu luntu luxabiseke kakhulu kuthi ukuba singahlali phantsi kwaye bathule cwaka behlunguzelisa iintloko zabo kubetha kwengoma echanekileyo yezopolitiko "Yonke into intle ilungile." Injongo yethu apha kukugxeka okwakhayo. Sichaza iindidi ezilishumi zokuziphatha okungamkelekanga- izinto ezenziwa ngabantu abaninzi abathandana nesini kwaye iinkokeli zesini ziyadumisa kwaye zilungele njengenxalenye yethu. Oku akunakuphinda ukuqhubeka ngenxa yezizathu ezibini: okokuqala, sijonga kakubi ngenxa yoku emehlweni abantu abathe tye, kwaye okwesibini, kuzisa ukubandezeleka okungafunekiyo kwaye kunciphise umgangatho wobomi kuluntu lwabane-gay.

1. Ubuxoki, ubuxoki kunye nobuxoki kwakhona

Xa umntu okwishumi elivisayo eqonda ukuba akafani nabanye abantu, uhlala eve iintlungu, uloyiko kunye nemfuneko yokuxoka. Nokuba akazikhathazi ngobufanasini bakhe, ufumana ukonwaba ngendlela engaqhelekanga kuba eyazi into ngaye angazani nabanye. Ubuxoki obuhlala buye ngaphaya kwexesha buye buyeke ukuzisola, kwaye abantu baya besiba banzi kolu luvo, bahlangabezana nobunzima kuyo nayiphi na indawo yobomi. Kuyabonakala ukuba ukuziqhelanisa okuphindaphindiweyo kwanaso nasiphi na isono kugubungela isazela kunye nokungabinamthetho, kwaye ukuxoka akukho mgaqo.

Omnye wemizekelo ephambili yamanga obu gay kukusasaza iintengiso. Awunakuthembela ngokwenyani nantoni na ebhaliweyo kuzo. Ingwevu eneminyaka engamashumi amabini anesine eluhlaza okomhlaza kunye nokuqaqamba kwemisipha kwintengiso kuya kuhlala kungumlinganiso weminyaka engamashumi amane ubudala kunye nesisu esikhulu esihamba phantsi kwesikipa esinokutya. Ukucaphuka kwakho, uphendula ngokuzola esithi: "Sonke kufuneka sigqithise kancinane ukuba sifuna i-adventure."

Uninzi lwabafundi be-ubuntu be-socialopathic ibango kwimisebenzi yabo ukuba ipesenti ephezulu yamanga ama-pathological amaxoki. Rhoqo kunokuba ngamaphupha angenabungozi, edala iintsomi, kodwa eyona nto iphambili kubo inokuguqula ubuxoki babo bube yingeniso kwaye babe zizikrelemnqa. Zidibane nomsebenzi kwaye zikwazi ukukhuthaza ukuzithemba, zikhetha ukuhlala ubuxoki, zinamathele njengeparadesi ekunikezeleni nasekuthembeni. Olu hlobo lufumana abantu abadala abathandana nabantu abatshatileyo abadla ngokuhlala bengatshatanga kwaye bafuna ukuthemba umfana okhangayo. Ngobuxhakaxhaka babo baqaqambisa ubomi bemihla ngemihla abanye abahlobisi bangaphakathi abalupheleyo, bavuka ngentsasa elungileyo, bafumanisa ukuba iplatinam American Express, iRolex, iilekese zemali kunye namakhulu amahlanu eedola zemali zinyamalale ngaphandle komkhondo. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba iziphumo zokukopela zinokudlula ngaphaya kwemida yoluntu lwabane-gay, ukulibazisa umsebenzi esiwenzayo nabantu abathe tye amashumi eminyaka. Asifuni ukubhengeza kanjalo.

2. Ukwala isimilo

UOscar Wilde uthe: "Eyona ndlela yokuphelisa isilingo kukunikezela." Imvo yokugqwetheka kwesimilo sakhe siviwe kuluntu lwe-gay kangangeshumi leminyaka ukuza kuthi ga kulo mhla. Ukucekiswa okungacacanga ncam kokuziphatha ngokokwesini kuyinyani, kuyaphelela kuwo, kwaye kuyonakalisa ifuthe lomgangatho wobomi kuluntu lwethu kunye nolwalamano lwethu kunye nobunzima.

Umfana ojamelene neemvakalelo zakhe zesini esifanayo unokukhetha izinto ezimbini: angazamkela iinqobo zokuziphatha ezikhoyo aze azithiye, okanye azicingele kwakhona, kwaye, enqaba ikhethe likaJudeo-nobuKristu malunga nobufanasini, enze imigaqo yakhe, ngaloo ndlela atshintshe inzondo yakhe kunye nokuzithemba kwakhe. . Yeha, ngenxa ye-gay ezininzi, ukucinga kwakhona akupheli apho. Bahamba kakhulu, bethatha isigqibo sokuba yonke le nto ingamampunge, kwaye bayishiya i-100% yeenkolelo zabo zangaphambili. Kwabaninzi, isidingo sokuxoka kukuqhekeza okuqala eludongeni. Ukuba awamkeli isithintelo sobuxoki, ngoko kutheni kufanelekile ukuba wamkele ezinye izinto ezivinjelweyo?

Kukho ukuvumelana phakathi kwezitabane zasezidolophini ukuba wonke umntu unelungelo lokuziphatha ngendlela athanda ngayo, nokuba kungabikho mntu ugxeka isimilo somnye umntu - uhlobo lokugqwetha "musa ukugweba, kodwa awuyi kugwetywa". Ngaphandle kwalo mthetho, kunjalo, lilungelo lokugweba ngokukhawuleza nangokukhohlakeleyo “ngokucinga okungekho sikweni” kwakhe nabani na oguqukela kulo naluphi na uhlobo lokuziphatha. Ngapha koko, le nkqubo iyonke ixhomekeke kwinto enye: “Ukuba ndiyayithanda, ndiza kuyenza kwaye ndiye esihogweni!” Kwaye into ethandwa zizinto ezininzi zihlala zibandakanya ubuxoki, ukuzingca, ukuzonwabisa, ukuzitshabalalisa, inkohliso. , izithuko, ukubetha, ukuvukela. Ukuba isitabane sifuna ukuhlazisa undwendwe olubi emthendelekweni, iyakuba krwada kwaye iyacekisa, kwaye iyisondeze ngokuthi "ukubonakalisa okuhlekisayo kwemvakalelo yesini." Ukuba ufuna ukuhenda umthandi womhlobo wakhe osenyongweni - uya kuyenza, ezithethelela ngezenzo zakhe "zenkululeko yesondo", kwaye esihogweni kunye nomhlobo. Ukuba ufuna ukuzitshabalalisa ngesiyobisi kunye notywala ngenxa yokonwaba okwethutyana, uya kusela ezantsi.

Sifumanise ukuba kwi-gay cinezela le mfundiso iqingqiweyo etyeni. Okuziphatha ngakumbi okucaphukisayo, kokukhona kuya kufuneka kubonwe "njengombhiyozo wobuntu bethu benkcubeko kunye nenkcubeko." Nasiphi na isichaso, nokuba sinokulunga kangakanani, siya kuhlala sihlangatyezwa ngumlo okhawulezayo kwaye uqine, sixhomekeke kulungiso esele senziwe kwaye, enyanisweni, esingaphendulwanga, kwizibhengezo zentengiso yasekhaya: “amafanasini agxeka indlela yethu yobomi awabamkeli ubufanasini babo. baveze inzondo yabo kuluntu olubangqongileyo. " Ke ukuba umntu akonelisekanga zii-transvestites, ii-sadomasochists kunye nama-nudists amatsha kumdlalo we-gay, apho u-queen ukumnika ipipi ye-penis kubantwana abancinci, uzithiyile yena.

Ngelishwa, abantu abaninzi abathandanayo abaye bazishiya iinkolo zesithethe bafumanisa ukuba akukho nto ilula kangaka ukungakhathali. Bakhangela into abazalisa ngayo, baguqukele kwi-neopaganism, ubugqiUbudala obutsha kunye nezinye i-schizoterics. Kukho iicommunics ezinje "Iifayile ezizizoMsgstr ". Njengoko elinye lamalungu alo lisitsho: “Besinayo yonke into, kodwa besifuna into esingenayo, singazi nokuba yintoni.” Yintoni efunwa zizitabane ngaphandle kokuyazi kukubuyela kwimeko yokuqonda ubungcwele kunye nenkqubo yokuziphatha apho banokuphinda baqale ukukholwa kwaye bathembane.

Ukwala isimilo kushiya umwexuki engenayo imigaqo yokuzibamba kunye nokusikelwa umda kwimpembelelo yakhe. Intshabalalo kufuneka ilandelwe ngokwakhiwa kwakhona, kodwa izitabane zilibele malunga nenxalenye yesibini yale axiom, ekhokelela ekuziphatheni nokuzilawula ngokwakho.

3. I-narcissism kunye nokuziphatha kokuzingca

Ukuxoka kukhokelela ekubeni abanye bagatye isimilo, kwaye ukwala isimilo kukhokelela ekuchazeni ubuntu. Ukuthetha i-narcissism, sithetha ukungabi lilize nje, kodwa imeko yokuzifumana kunye nokungakwazi ukuhoya iingxaki zabanye, apho ukungabi nto yanto kungenye yeempawu. Ukuphazamiseka kobuntu kunye ne-narcissistic ubuntu - amaqela amabini ahlangana ngokwekliniki aqondwe yi-American Psychiatric Association, achazwa ngala mabinzana:

"Izigulana ezine-hysterical ziyamangalisa kwaye zihlala zitsala ingqalelo. . . utyekele ekuzibaxweni. . . dlala indima efana ne "nkosazana" ngaphandle kokuqaphela. . . ngokulula imincili. . . umsindo ongekho ngqiqweni. . . ukugqabhuka ngumsindo. . . bawela izinto ezintsha, uvuselelo, imincili. . . khawuleza udikwe. . . nzulu. . . ukuswela ukunyaniseka. . . nomtsalane kakhulu. . . ngokukhawuleza ukwakha ubuhlobo. . . abafuna ngenkani, abacingela iziqu zabo, abangenangqiqo. . . nobuchule. . . izigrogriso zokuzibulala, izijekulo kunye neenzame. . . enomtsalane, ehendayo. . . ilize. . . balekela kwiingcamango zothando. . . ukuziphatha kudla ngokuba yi-caricature yobufazi. . . ukuziphatha kakubi. . . umdla omncinci wokucinga ngononophelo, ucazululo, nangona uyilo kwaye ungaqhelekanga. . . ziphenjelelwa yiminqweno. . . ubulumko obungenangcambu. . . rhoqo ezinxulumene ngemodeli yobungqingili. . . Ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi yingxaki eqhelekileyo. . . [Izigulana zeNarcissistic, ukongezelela koku kungasentla] zinemvakalelo enkulu yokuzibona zibalulekile. . . kufuneka ingqalelo kunye nokunconywa rhoqo. . . ukucinga ngokugqithisileyo kweqabane kubudlelwane kuthatyathelwa indawo kukuthotywa kwakhe ngokupheleleyo. . . ukungabi naluvelwano. . . ukuzingca okugqithisileyo kunye nokuzifunxa. . . Imibono yezinto ezinokwenzeka ezingenasiphelo, amandla, ubutyebi, ukuqaqamba, ubuhle, okanye uthando olufanelekileyo. . . Inkangeleko ibaluleke ngaphezu kwezinto. . . isidingo sokubonwa kwinkampani yabantu "abalungileyo". . . ukuxhaphaza. . . Ukunqongophala kobudlelwane obuhle obuzinzileyo kubudlelwane nabanye. . . ukuthanda kakhulu ukugcina ulutsha. . . ubuxoki obucacileyo. . .”

Ukukhumbuza ngomntu omaziyo? Oku akungenxa yokuba ubufanasini abunampilo, kodwa ngenxa yokuba abanye abantu abathandana abathandanayo. Ngofaniso: ubufanasini ngokwabo abukhokeleli ku-AIDS, kodwa indlela yokuphila yakudala yabantu abathandana abatshatileyo yindlela enkulu bamba uGawulayo. Ke, indlela yokuphila yezitabane, etyunjelwe ngabantu abathe tye kunye nezinye izitabane, inciphisa ukuchasana kwazo nokuphazamiseka kubuntu. Ngenxa yoko, sifumanisa ukuba kuluntu lwabane-gay, ngaphezulu kokungaphaya nje kukaGawulayo, kodwa kunye nokuziphatha okukhohlakeleyo kunye nokuziphatha okungathandekiyo.

Asizukuya kwi-idiotic egqithisileyo ebiza zonke i-gay hysterical kunye ne-narcissistic. La magama abonisa ukugqwesa komfanekiso ngamnye wethu awela kuwo, kwaye umahluko phakathi kwento yokugula kunye neliya libonisa kuphela. Kodwa kubonakala ngathi uninzi lwabantu abathandana nabantu abahamba ngokuthe tye bawela kwiindawo ezikude zesahlulo. Kuyabonakala ukuba, imeko yezentlalo engaqhelekanga kwezesini iguqula uninzi lwazo lube lixhoba elilula lezilingo, inkohliso kunye noburharha, obonisa indlela elula yokuphuma kobunzima bobomi bungqingili, kodwa ke oko kukhokelela kwimpazamo zobuntu.

Imizekelo emibini ebalaseleyo yokuziqhatha: ukwala ukubonelela ngenkxaso yemali kwimibutho esebenzela ukuba izibonelelo zoluntu lonke lwabane-gay, kunye nokwala ukwenza ngokwesondo okukhuselekileyo. Yintoni enokuthiwayo malunga nomntu onje UGaetan Duga, ngubani obeke umnqweno wakhe wokufumana i-orgasm ngaphezulu komnqweno weqabane lakhe lokuphila? Kwi-1981, wafunyanwa sisifo i-Kaposi's sarcoma, kodwa ngaphandle kwezilumkiso eziphindaphindiweyo zokuba isigulo sakhe sasibulala kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba usosulelekile, waqhubeka, de kwaba sekufeni kwakhe e-1984, ukuba neentlobano zesini nabantu abangabaziyo kwi-dimly lit gay saunas. Ngelishwa, oku kude kakhulu.

4. Umnqweno weenkanuko, ukuzonakalisa

Ukuba isiphumo sokuqala sokwala isimilo kukuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini nokuzingca, isiphumo sesibini kukuzifica kubuthathaka bukabani, oko kukhokelela, kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu, kukuzibhubhisa. Kuzo zonke izinto eziphosakeleyo esizigxekayo, ukuxhaphaza kuxhaphakile kubantu abathandana nabantu abathandana namanye amalungu esini ngokubanzi, apho naluphi na uhlobo lokuzibamba lubonwa njengophawu lokuzithiya kunye nePuritanism. Oku kubonakala ikakhulu kwisitayile sendlela ekhawulezayo (isantya esiphezulu) indlela yokuphila egxile kwii-disco, ii-sauna, ukuhamba-hamba kwihlabathi liphela, ukuthenga izinto ezibiza kakhulu, ukuchitha ixesha emathekweni ixesha elide kwaye nabantu abaninzi kangangoko. , isini esahlukileyo kwaye ngokubanzi zonke iimvakalelo ezinokufumaneka. Ngaphandle kwesondo, yile nto umntu anokuyilindela ukuba amakhwenkwe aneminyaka emithandathu athathe ilizwe. Ukongeza kukuzingca okucacileyo kunye nokungakhuli emzimbeni kwendlela yokuphila enjalo, iyabulala kwaye iyadinisa kwaye ayinakugcinwa ixesha elide. Kwiminyaka ye-25, uninzi lweelaners ezikhawulezayo, ezigcwele le ndlela yokuphila, ziyaphuphuma, kwaye endaweni yezenzo ezisempilweni nezisemthethweni, baqala ukukhangela okungenampilo kunye nokungekho mthethweni: iziyobisi kunye nokwabelana ngesondo ngendlela engaqhelekanga.

Zintathu izizathu zokuba izitabane ziphendukele kwiziyobisi:
(Xnumx) Ukuphelisa uloyiko kunye nentlungu yobufanasini.
(2) Ukugcina ukuphelelwa amandla okugcina amandla ukuze uqhubeke nokonwaba kwiqela leyure ye36.
(3) Ukulandela iimvakalelo zengqondo kunye nomzimba ukuba ingqondo kunye nomzimba womntu awukwazi ukuziva phantsi kweemeko eziqhelekileyo. 
Unobangela (i-2) kunye ne (3) zizonwabisa ngokuthanda kwaye ixesha elide likhokelela ekuzenzakaliseni.

Xa umntu emncinci kwaye engenamava, ubudlelwane "be-vanilla" obulula kakhulu - ukuqhawula kunye nokuphulula amalungu esini ngokudibeneyo - kukhulu ngokwaneleyo kuye. Le yinto entsha, engavunyelwanga, "emdaka" kwaye inika umdla. Ixesha elingaphezulu, i-vanilla ngokwesondo kunye neqabane elinye lihlala lihlala lihlala lihlala lihlala lihlala lihleli kwaye liyadika, kwaye liphulukane namandla alo okuvusa. Ekuqaleni, umntu otshatileyo onobuntu obufanileyo naye ufuna ubuqhetseba kumaqabane akhe, abe ngokuqhenqa kwaye angabi semthethweni. Ekugqibeleni, yonke imizimba iyamdina, kwaye uqala ukukhangela uyolo ngeendlela ezintsha. Uzama ukubuyisela imincili erectile ngokusebenzisa "ukungcola" kunye "nokwenqatshelwe" izinto zesondo, ezinje nge-fetishism, urolagnia, Coprophilia, njl. Nangona kunjalo, ezo nzame aziphumeleli ekungaphumelelini: “ukungcola” okwandisiweyo kuphela kukhokelela ekungqubeni kwamanzi amdaka elwandle, okuthi ekugqibeleni ngenxa yoko iyayeka ukwanelisa okanye nokuba nemihlali. Ukuma elandelayo kukungabi namandla.

Ayizizo zonke iimpazamo ezigqwethekileyo ezithatha isigqibo sokupapasha iziyobisi kumaphephandaba, kodwa xa ezi ntengiso zibonakalayo, ziyonwabisa, kwangaxeshanye, zishenxise isisu ngaphakathi kwaye zibonisa ukungabi nto kwayo yonke into oyenzayo.

“Imilenze emdaka nengahlanjwanga enezihlunu. . . iinzipho ezinukayo ezingasikwanga. . . iipellets phakathi kweminwe, i-cheese ivumba. . . ivumba elibi lokubila kwendoda. . . Ukuphefumla amakhwapha amdaka angahlanjwanga. . . ungcole kwihoko lethu. . .”

Isini esingathandekiyo sibi ngakumbi kunokwabelana ngesondo okuvaliweyo: kunokuba yingozi. Njengomgaqo, ii-liners ezikhawulezayo gay abathengise ithikithi yendlela enye kuloliwe ocacileyo, ekuqaleni bazibophe kwaye bazingenise, emva koko BDSM. Nge-30 yabo - iminyaka ye-40, bakhawuleziswa ngokukhawuleza kunye neenguqulelo ezithambileyo (kunye neempenduka) zolo ntofontofo, badlulela kwizikreqo, kubabulali kwiimaski kunye inqindi (ongenakuyenza ukuxhasa ukuvuswa). Ngeminyaka yabo ye-50, aba bantu ngelishwa sele benengxaki enkulu.

Abaxhasi basenokuthi isini “esinzima” asiyongozi yaye “yenye indlela yokubonakalisa uthando,” kodwa iimpawu zaso, amazwi aso neemvakalelo zimela intlungu nentiyo—zizo ezibangela inkanuko. Ngelishwa, nangona intlungu kunye nenzondo azinanto yakwenza nothando, zininzi izinto ezifanayo kunye nenkanuko: amaziko okuvuseleleka ngokwesondo kunye nobundlongondlongo kwingqondo anxibelelene ngokusondeleyo. Ukuphindaphindwa rhoqo kolu nxibelelwano kuyalomeleza, kwaye kukhokelela ekungakwazini ukufumana ukuvuswa ngaphandle kobudlova okanye ubundlobongela ngaphandle kokuvuselela.

Asinakuzithethelela izinto ezisebenzayo eziyingozi, kwaye kwangaxeshanye silindele ukuba uluntu lusebenze ngokuvuma kwethu. Oku kufuneka kuyeke.

5. Ukuphathwa gadalala esidlangalaleni

Mhlawumbi eyona ndlela imbi yokuziphatha okungamkelekanga kwabungqingili sisini esidlangalaleni. Ukufika kwethu okokuqala eHarvard, sabethwa sisininzi sabantu kuwo onke amatyotyombe eyunivesithi, abo inkqubo yabo yokugqogqa yaphoswa kukucothana kweentaba zeqhwa, ngenxa yazo zonke iindlwana ezazisoloko zixakekile. Njengabafikayo, besingekaqondi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni, kodwa ukungakhathali kwethu kwangoko kwagxothwa yenye yeemeko ezinqabileyo xa sithe sakwazi ukufumana eyethu indawo: isandla somntu othile saqhekeza isiqwenga sephepha lokuya ngasese phantsi kwesi sahlulelo, ngesicelo esingangqinelani sasibhalwe kuyo. Ukuthelekisa kunye nokunikezelwa okufanayo okufanayo kwiindonga, ekugqibeleni saye saqonda yonke into. Izikhalazo ezininzi zabafundi nezabasebenzi zikhokelele kwinto yokuba kuzanywa ukumiswa kwengqumbo, abaphathi beyunivesithi basusa iminyango kuzo zonke izindlu, kwaye amapolisa ayenxibe iyunifom aqala ukujikeleza izakhiwo efuna abaphambukeli. Njengoko unokulindela, kuvela inqaku elihlekisayo kuHarvard Gay nakwiLesbian ngeVeki, behlekisa ngabasebenzi abalingani, abafundi kunye namapolisa, "abahlasele kwiglasi."

Ngaphandle kwemizamo yabasemagunyeni yokuyicinezela le nto, iqela lobufanasini liyaqhubeka imini nobusuku lizibandakanya nakwenye yezona zinto zigqithisileyo (ikakhulu phambi kwabantu abathe tye) kwizindlu zangasese zikawonkewonke, kwiipaki nakwizitrato zazo zonke izixeko ezikhulu zaseMelika. Aba bantu abenzi nzame zokuqinisekisa ukugcinwa kwemfihlo kwemisebenzi yabo, nokuba balinde ukuzola kokuhamba kweendwendwe. Nangona kunjalo, kwabaninzi, ukubanjiswa izandla ziikota ezintathu zovuyo. Baphulula amalungu esini kwimichamo, bazula ze ze kwigumbi, baxhathana kwizikhundla ze-acrobatic kwiindawo ezivulekileyo. Xa begalela incindi yobudoda- kwizihlalo zangasese, ezindongeni, okanye kwimigangatho-bayishiya iqabile apho kwiziziba ezenyanyekayo nezaziwa ngokulula. 

Ewe, eyona nto inomtsalane ngesondo lasekhaya kukuba yenziwa kwindawo emdaka, eyenza ukuba ibe ngongcolileyo nangakumbi, engavunyelwanga, i-taboo, kwaye ngenxa yoko iyanqweneleka. Kodwa xa umntu ethe tye wabona amadoda amabini ekhonkotha ilungu lesini kunye nephimbo elikwi-lattery, oku kushiya umfanekiso ongacimekiyo engqondweni yakhe, eyomeleza inkolelo yakhe yokuba abantu abathandana abathandanayo bangcolile kwaye bagula abazenza izinto ezomeleleyo phantsi komgangatho wegumbi lokuphumla, behlafunela inkunkuma yomntu. . Umonakalo uphinda kabini xa izidalwa zibulala amakhwenkwe angatshatanga - umzekelo ocacileyo wokutyekelana kwabantu abathandana besini esinye "nomdlalo we-stereotypes." Kwelinye icala, ukuhlukunyezwa okunjalo kuqinisa ingoma endala ethi ngabom abantu abathandana ababhinqileyo ngabom bafune amakhwenkwe angatshatanga ngokwesini ukuba abuyise izikhundla zawo. Kwelinye icala, oku kubhengeza ubuxoki obucacileyo kwabo bagxininisa ukuba izenzo zabo zesondo zenzeka kuphela phakathi kwabantu abadala, ngokufihlakeleyo nangokuvumelana, kwaye ke akufuneki bakhathazeke luluntu kunye nenkqubo yabo yowiso-mthetho.

Kubonakala kungakholeleki ukuba izitabane zinokungakhathali, kodwa uninzi lwazo zilawulwa ngakumbi ziipeni zazo kunangqondo. Babonakala ngathi bakhokelwa koko kutshiwo ngumbhali wombhali wesibini uWilliam Burroughs, othi, echaza umnqweno wokuba neentlobano zesini nenkwenkwe ethandana nomntu ongatshatanga naye, uthe: “Akayonyani, yintoni ke? Abantu banokufumana indawo yokuhlala. ” Sigxininisa ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha ayiqhelekanga. Omnye umhlobo osisitabane usixelele ngovuyo ukuba, akuba efumene ikhonsathi yamvava yamakhonkco amvanje emva kwenkwenkwana eneminyaka elishumi elinesithathu, wasebenzisa ithuba lokungakwazi ukushukuma kolutsha ukushukuma waqalisa ukurhuqa iesile. Usixelele, "Ndihlekeze i-jean yam, kwaye akukho nto anokuyenza!"

Ukumangaliswa kwabo, ezinye izitabane ziqinisekile ukuba banelungelo lokusebenzisa ubuqhetseba kwizindlu zangasese nakwiipaki, ngokungathi zenzelwe bona njengeqonga lezesondo. Abanye bade bade bacaphuke ngenxa yeendwendwe ezithi, kanye eRoma, zingafuni nokuziphatha njengamaRoma, njengomnye wababhalelwa iphephabhuku lomtshato:

“Kuza kufuneka ndifumane indlu yangasese entsha [yokwabelana ngesondo]. Kwiveki ephelileyo bendilapho ukusukela emini ukuya ku 5pm. . . Isithukuthezi sabuya kwakhona kwaye sathi, "Andikholelwa ukuba uselapha." . . Ngenxa yembeko kuye kwafuneka ndihambe ubuncinane amaxesha amane. . . Ndamxelela ukuba ukuvala umngxuma wozuko ngephepha langasese nokufunda iphephandaba yayizisimilo esibi kakhulu. Ndiphantse ndatshisa iphepha. . . Emva koko kwafika abafana ababini abakwishumi elivisayo baza bazama ukuvala umngxuma. Ndalityhalela ngaphandle iphepha ndathi: “Sukuyenza loo nto kwakhona- imbi!” Ukuba ufuna ukufunxwa, yibeke apha. Ukuba akunjalo, phuma. Ndandula ke ndavula ucango ndaza ndathi kumhlobo wakhe: “Naku oku kuquka nawe!” . . Iimpundu ezinjalo. . . Kusafuneka ndibacacisele ukuba ukuziphatha kwabo akwamkelekanga kwaphela!”

Amajelo eendaba zesini gay ugxeka ngokulula naziphi na izimvo zokuba ezo pranks luluvo olubi, kwaye ucekisa iinzame zamapolisa zokuphelisa le nto "njengento yokuxhaphaza abantu abathandana nabo gay". Asicingi ukuba lento ichasene nefanasini. Oku kuchasene nokuphulwa komthetho kawonke wonke, akusekho.

6. Ukuziphatha kakubi kwimivalo

Enjani yona ukuba nengqwabalala inyani! Kwaye sikufanele njani xa ubuqhophololo ubuyela kuthi njenge-boomerang! Izigidi, siyabaleka abantu ababhinqileyo emakhaya kwiidolophu ezincinci zokufikisa, ukuze "siphile phakathi kwabantu bakowethu" kule dolophu yaseGhetto, apho kungekho mntu uya kukukhwaza "yintsini" kuwe, kuba macala onke ziintsuba ngokwazo. Kodwa ukuba awunabuso obuncinci kwaye obuhle, umzimba oqaqambile kunye nempahla yefashoni, unyathela embundwini womgqomo wesitabane, uya kufumanisa ukuba ngubani owenyani we-homo-hater: 

Umntu ngamnye onobungqingili anganikezela ngemizekelo emininzi, siya kunika enye kuphela esiyikhumbula kakuhle, eyenzekileyo kwibha ye-gay, apho isibini esincinci nesikhukhumeleyo "saphambuka" ngabom ngokuvakalayo kwaye ngokuzithoba saxoxa ngendoda etyebileyo ebonakala phambi kwabo isithi: “Owu Thixo wam! Ngaba uyakholelwa ukuba ugqibe kwelokuba asizise apha isidumbu sakhe?! ”Sihlala siva malunga nokuba bangabantu abathandanayo nabamanyeneyo. Ewe, hayi njalo! Kwaye nangona kungekho mntu ugxotha amadoda athandana abukeke ngokungathi ayingxowa, echithe ubusuku kwindawo enesini, basenokuzisola ukuba le nto ayenzekanga kubo kwanasekuzalweni kwabo.

Elinye itikiti lokuya kubomi bungqingili kukubhenela kwangaphandle, kodwa nokuba ayizukukusindisa ekuphoxekeni. Omnye umlingane uchaza kwincwadi yakhe ye-autobiography njani, kwiminyaka ye-13, wafumanisa iimvakalelo ezintsha zenkwenkwe eyaziwayo, intle kunye nombaleki, uBobby, owayebandakanya yonke into awayefuna ukuba yiyo. Wahlala ecinga ngaye, efuna ukuba kufutshane naye, kwaye wayekhathazeka kakhulu xa ekhona. Yayiluthando lwenja, olwalubaluleke ngakumbi kunazo naziphi na iimvakalelo zesini. Ke waphila de wafika u17 iminyaka, efihla iimvakalelo zakhe, de wafumana amanqaku, ngenxa yoko waqonda ukuba kukho abanye abafana emhlabeni abazivayo. Uye waya ekholejini, ubukhulu becala ukuze ungene esixekweni. Ukufika esixekweni, wafumanisa ukuba kukho into enye kuphela ukuba ubomi gay kugxilwe: e * a.

Izitabane zilungiswe ebutsheni, uloyiko lwazo lokwaluphala lufikelele kwinqanaba elithile le-pathological - kwaye apha, njengakuyo yonke indawo, sithetha kakhulu ngabantu abathandana nabo. Oku kubonakala kwiimpawu ezigqwethekileyo zembono nokuziphatha. Nokuba omnye wababhali bale migca, uhlala engenakonakala xa sele eyinyani, wona izono ngokurhola unyaka wakhe wokuzalwa. Ukudlalela ubudala bakho ngamanye amaxesha ukuya kuthi ga kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini kuphantse kuqikeleleke. Izitabane zilwa imfazwe ngakwikhalenda nganye, ngokungathi kukulo mfazwe. Banokwenza uninzi lwamadoda asebenzisa iivithamini, i-seramu, izixhobo zokuzivocavoca, ii-bronzers, ii-wigs, ukuhambisa iinwele kunye ne-facelifts. Kodwa kungekudala, idabi lilahlekile, okuzisa kuphela ukubandezeleka okongezelelekileyo. Ukuba umfazi okhulileyo onobungqingili udlale amakhadi akhe ngokuchanekileyo, ke uya kuba nabantwana okanye nendoda axhomekeke kuyo. Baninzi abantu abathandana nabo abagxeka oontanga babo ekuthini bangaqhubeki bolutsha luphakathi kwezitulo ezibini, bade babe badala, babe nesithukuthezi kwaye babe lusizi. Ngaba indlela yokuphila enjalo kufuneka ikhuthazwe?

 7. Ukuziphatha okungafanelekanga kubudlelwane

Amadoda angama-Gay akakho kakuhle kakhulu ekufumaneni nasekugcineni amaqabane. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabo ngokuqhelekileyo abuhlali ixesha elide, nangona uninzi luzama ngokunyanisekileyo ukufumana iqabane lomphefumlo. Ngamanye amazwi, wonke umntu ukhangele, kodwa akukho mntu uyifumanayo. Ungawuchaza njani lo mnqa? Okokuqala, oku kungenxa yezinto ezingaqhelekanga ze-physiology yamadoda kunye nesayikholoji, eyenza ukuba ubudlelwane bezesondo kunye nobothando phakathi kwendoda nendoda ngokwemvelo bungazinzi ngakumbi kunonxibelelwano phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. Ngokwe-avareji, i-sex drive yowesifazane ingaphantsi kobudoda kwaye ayivuswa kancinci yizinto ezibonakalayo. Ibhinqa lizamkela ngakumbi iimvakalelo zalo ngokwesini kunoko likubonayo. Amadoda, ngakolunye uhlangothi, akagcini nje ukuxhalaba ngokwesondo (phantse rhoqo), kodwa ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngokukhawuleza avuswe ngokubona nje iqabane "elilungileyo".

Okwesibini, ukuvuseleleka ngokwesondo kuxhomekeke kakhulu “kwimfihlelo,” oko kukuthi, inqanaba elingaziwayo phakathi kwamaqabane. Ngokucacileyo, ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, amadoda afana ngakumbi omnye komnye kunabafazi, kwaye ke ngoko akukho nto ingaziwayo apho. Oku kuthanda ukukhokelela amadoda angama-gay ukuba akhawuleze aphelelwe ngamaqabane awo. Okubangel 'umdla kukuba, oku kuyinyani ngakumbi kwii-lesbians, ezithandwa zidlula ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ngenxa yokuba iimfuno zabo zesondo zithozamile, zaneliseka ngokulula ngobudlelwane bomphefumlo.

Ekuphela kwendlela ekufanele ngayo ukuba uninzi lwabantu abathandana nabo bakhethe unxibelelwano lwabo kukunomdla ngokwesondo. Ubudlelwane obuhlala buhlala kunye nabantu ongabaziyo kunye nabantu abangabakhathalelanga kubo buye bomelele kwimeko eqhelekileyo engathandekiyo kunye nokungafuni ukugweba ngeenqobo ezibaluleke ngakumbi. Inkolelo yesini esifana nesakho inokuvezwa ngolu hlobo: "Karl, nangona eneembovane, kodwa enesidala esikhulu, mhlawumbi ndiza kugoduka naye."

Ubuhlobo bokwenyani kwindawo yoluntu gay kunzima kakhulu ukufumana. Ubuhlobo phakathi kwezitabane zihlala zigqwesile kunobuhlobo babantu abathe tye. Kwindawo enobudlelwane obungaqhelekanga, nkqu nabahle kakhulu bafumanisa ukuba abanakuqiniseka ukuba abahlobo babo abayi kuba zizikrelemnqa ngobuqhetseba. Njengomthetho, kamsinya nje ukuba isitabane sishiya iqela labahlobo, baya kwandula bahlambe onke amathambo kuye. Akumangalisi ukuba olona hlobo lolona luhle kunye nolude kakhulu kwezitabane lwenzeka ngokuchanekileyo nabantu abathe tye.

Ukungazinzi kwiimvakalelo, uloyiko lweembophelelo kunye nemvakalelo yokuziva uphantsi kubangela ukukhohlakala okukhulu. Beqinisekile ngentliziyo yabo ukungabi nto yanto, bayicinezela le mvakalelo imbi ngokuhlala beqinisekisa ukuba bayanqwenela ngokwesini, baziphathe kakubi ngokwesini namaqabane angaziwayo. Kwaye nangona phantse wonke umntu ezitabane esithi angathanda ukufumana uthando lokwenyani, iimfuno zakhe zigqithisiwe kwaye akukho ngqiqweni kangangokuba uzishiya engenathemba lokudibana nomntu onjalo. Umzekelo, lowo unyuliweyo wakhe makangaseli, atshaye, abe nomdla kubugcisa, elunxwemeni, kwigubu, ajonge kwaye aziphathe njengendoda ethe tye, ayinxibe kakuhle, abe nemvakalelo yokuhlekisa, "ichanekile" imvelaphi yentlalo, akufuneki ibe neenwele ezininzi zomzimba, kufuneka zibe sempilweni, Ihlanjwe kakuhle, ikrwada. . . kuhle, uyifumana ingongoma. Kutheni le nto abantu abathandanayo bezibeka kwindawo enjalo? Okokuqala, kuba bakhetha ukuhlala kwiiphupha ezimnandi kunokujongana nezinto eziyinyani. Okwesibini, ibanika isizathu esivakalayo sokuba kutheni benganaye umntu, nokuba isini esingakhethi buso nokungakhathali empeleni kukufuna oku.

"Ukungathandi" ukuba nolwalamano lobuqu ngokufuthi kukungabinakho ukubanakho. Abantu abanale ngxaki banokuya nakweyiphi na imeko egqithisileyo ukuze bacacisele ngokungafaneleki kwabo, bade babhale iincwadi ezibonisa indlela yabo yokuphila njenge "ngxelo yezopolitiko eguqukayo" kunye "nokusebenza kwegcisa lemidlalo yeqonga lesini". 

Xa, xa kungekho okona kulungileyo, indoda engatshatanga isavuma ukubhubha, idabi lothando alipheli apho-iyaqala khona. Umlinganiswa ophakathi uJoni Gay uza kukuxelela ukuba ufuna ubudlelwane “obungenaxhala” apho umntu athandana naye “engabandakanyekanga kakhulu, engenzi iimfuno, kwaye emnika indawo eyaneleyo.” Ngokwenyani, akukho sithuba siyokwanela, kuba iJoni ayifuni mthandi, kodwa i-fuckbuddy henchman - umhlobo wokutsiba, uhlobo lwesixhobo sekhaya esingathobeki. Xa ukunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo kuqalisa ukubonakala kubudlelwane (okuthi, kwithiyori, kube sesona sizathu sivakalayo kubo), bayayeka ukuzonwabisa, babe “ngabanobunzima” kwaye bahlukane. Nangona kunjalo, ayizizo zonke izitabane ezijonge "ulwalamano" olomileyo. Abanye bafuna uthando lokwenene kunye kwaye balufumane. Kwenzeka ntoni emva koko? Ngokukhawuleza, inyoka eneliso elilodwa iphakamisa intloko yayo embi.

Akuzange kubekho isiko lokunyaniseka kuluntu lwabane-gay. Nokuba wonwabe kangakanani umntu athandana naye, uya kuphelela ukufuna i-x **. Ixabiso lokungcatsha phakathi “kwabantu abatshatileyo” abathandana, emva kwexesha elithile, isondela kwi-100%. Amadoda, njengoko sele kukhankanyiwe, alunge ngakumbi kunabafazi abanesiphumo sokuzinza, kwaye abanye ubuso obuhle kwisitrato esingaphantsi okanye Ivenkile enkulu bangajika iintloko zabo. Amadoda amabini athandana gay yingxaki ephindwe kabini ekuphindaphindiweyo kwinto ebulalayo.abaninzi abantu abathandana abathandanayo, bequbuda kwinto engenakufikeleleka, bayavuma “ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo”. Ngamanye amaxesha iyasebenza: emva kokukhulula isitya, isithandwa esingazukubuyela sibuyele kwiqabane, ebaluleke kuye kunabanye. Kodwa oku akusoloko kusebenza. Ngamanye amaxesha ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bufaneleke kakhulu kwiqabane elinye kunolunye, oluthi ekugqibeleni luqonde ukuba alunakunyamezela, kwaye luhamba. Ngamanye amaxesha oku kungavunywa kokwemvelo ukuba ubudlelwane abusasekelwa eluthandweni, kodwa kukokwabelana ngesondo kunye nokwenzakala ekhaya. Ezi zokugqibela zinokuba nezothe ikakhulu: abathandi, okanye endaweni yoko bahlalisane, baguqukele ekusebenzisaneni ukuze basebenzisane ukufumana amaqabane ezesondo kwabathathu.

Kutheni amadoda athandana nabantu besini esahlukileyo ezivumela ukuba aziphathe ngoluhlobo lweehagu kunye nokuzibhubhisa? Ngenxa yezi zizathu zibini: 1) inkanuko yokuzingca; I-2) yokoyika ukubonisa iimvakalelo kunye nokubandezeleka. Ukongeza ingcinezelo, iintlungu kunye noloyiko kubo, sifumana uluntu olubandayo nolunoluntu apho abantu kufuneka bafihle iimvakalelo zabo kungekuphela nje kwabanye, kodwa nakwabo, okusikhokelela kwicandelo elilandelayo.

8. Ukuvinjwa kwemvakalelo kunye ne-anesthesia

Nawuphi na umntu ojonga imeko yesini gay uya kuba ngohlobo lokuziphatha okungaqhelekanga okwenzeka ngokukodwa kubesilisa abathandana nabantu abathandana nobungqingili - isifo soonodoli, ekwabizwa ngokuba sisifo sikaTussaud. Into yokuqala oyiphawulayo emntwini onesifo sediphu kukuqina kwakhe. Njengomthetho, umzimba wakhe ukhululeka ngokungagungqi kwimeko emxinwa kwaye ingeyoyokwendalo, ekhumbuza ivenkile yesebe mannequins (ethi, ngelishwa, idla ngokuyilwa zizitabane). I-pose inokuthi yenziwe: iingalo emacaleni, zikhuphe umunwe omncinci; okanye ngomatshini otyhutyhekileyo: i-chin ekhuselayo, iingalo zisasazeke, kunye nemilenze ngokwahlukeneyo, njengakwinqanaba lokugqibela le-tetanus. Ngamanye amaxesha izandla zigoqwa ngokuqinileyo kwisifuba ngokubonisa ukuzikhusela. Ukuxhaphaka kakhulu kwesidoda okanye isimo sowesifazane sibonisa ukungazithembi kunye nokungahambi kakuhle emzimbeni. Oku kuqina kwemisipha kufikelela ebusweni, obuqinisa nokuba ngumkhenkce womkhenkce okanye kwindawo emnandi kakhulu. Ukuba i-makeup isetyenzisiwe (ehlala yenziwa), iya kufana neplastiki engenakufikeleleka yenkwenkwezi ye-cinema ethuleyo, ekhulisa isiphumo esingaqhelekanga semaski kunye nemidlalo yemidlalo. Ukongeza, iintambo zelizwi zixinaniselwe ukuya kwinqanaba leenyembezi. Ilizwi liyavakala kwaye liyabetha, okanye lithe tyaba kwaye lithe krwada, kodwa nakweyiphi na imeko - eyomeleleyo, engaqhelekanga kwaye ihlala impumlo.  

Isicwangciso sedoli kukungavumeli nantoni na ngoqhwithela lweemvakalelo zepseudo, ngelixa kugcinwe umgama okhuselekileyo phakathi kwayo nendawo esisongelayo. Injongo yakhe kukubhloka kuzo zonke iindleko zokubonwa kobufanano kunye nentlungu yakhe. Kuya kufuneka ayicinezele rhoqo ixhala kunye nexhala, kwaye enze ngathi akukho nto ibalulekileyo, kwaye akukho mntu unokumenzakalisa, kuba akakhathali. Konke oku kukhokelela koko omnye umbhali wakubiza ngokuba "ngumkhenkce wentlawulelo yentliziyo" -ukungakwazi ukwenza izitabane ukunciphisa ukucaphula kwabo kwaye bavula iintliziyo zabo ukuba bathandane kwaye bahlala kunye njengabazalwane.

Kuba umntu opopopu woyika ukuba yena, kuya kufuneka adlale esidlangalaleni ngalo lonke ixesha. Ngokwemvelo, ungena ngokupheleleyo kwindima yokudlala nokulawula umfanekiso uphela. Ngaphandle kokuzibaxa izinto, singatsho ukuba inkanuko yobungqingili 'ekuthabatheni inxaxheba nakwinqanaba, inkanuko yabo yesenzo esikhulu nesenziwe ngokugqibeleleyo kwiscreen esikhulu, uthando lwabo ngezixhobo - konke oku, ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba elithile, linxulumana neempawu ezizodwa zokuqhayisa unodoli. 

Akukho ngxaki iphantsi kakhulu kwaye ixhaphakile kwindawo yokulalana kwabantu basetyhini ngotywala kunye neziyobisi. Iingcali zengqondo yabantu besini esinye ziqikelela ukuba phantse isinye kwisithathu sezigulana zineengxaki zamachiza kunye / okanye zotywala. Ngokuthatha izinto ezikhuthazayo kwiimvakalelo zovuyo nokuzithemba, okanye ukudakumba (kubandakanya notywala) ukuzenza buthuntu iingcinga zabo kunye neemvakalelo zabo, ngenene bajonge iintlungu zoloyiko kunye nentlungu. Kwabanye, uloyiko lubotshelelwe kwiintshukumo zentlalo yoluntu lwase-gay: ukungazithembi okanye uloyiko (olusisiseko) sokwaliwa ngobundlobongela; kwabanye - baneentloni ngaphakathi kunye nokuzonda kwabo ubufanasini.

Njengezinye iindlela ezingalunganga zokuphelisa iimpawu zempilo ezinzulu ezinje, ukubakho kweziyobisi gay ekugqibeleni kuyenza mandundu imeko. Ukongeza kumonakalo othe ngqo onazo kwezi zinto engqondweni nasemzimbeni, kwaye ke kwimpumelelo yentlalo, i-anesthesia yeemvakalelo ikhokelela ekucutheni kobomi kunye nengozi. Ukubaleka ngokugqibeleleyo kwizinto eziyinyani zobomi, endaweni yokuhlangana ngokucacileyo nangokuzithemba, kusenza singakwazi ukuzikhusela kwintlekele exelwe kwangaphambili.

9. Ukuphikiswa kwenyani, ukucinga okungenangqondo kunye ne-mythomania 

Izitabane zihlala zijongana nobutshaba, ezo ziyabakhathaza, uloyiko nomsindo. Ukuzikhukhumalisa, ukungakhathaleli okukhoyo, ubudlelwane obungathethekiyo, iziyobisi, utywala kunye nezinye iindlela ezingalunganga zokuziphatha ezichazwe apha ngasentla ziyafuneka ukujongana nentlungu yeemvakalelo. Kodwa kukho indlela esebenzayo ngakumbi yokubulala inamba: ukukhanyela inyani. Izitabane ezikhanyela ubunyani bokubajikeleza azinazo iimvakalelo ezinjalo. Akukho butshaba ekucingeni kwabo, kwaye ngenxa yoko akukho ntlungu, akukho loyiko, akukho msindo.

Wonke umntu, gay okanye ngqo, amaxesha ngamaxesha unokuguqukela kwi-fantastis kwaye ukholelwe ngakumbi kwinto oyifunayo kunokwenyani. Nangona kunjalo, izitabane ngokubanzi zihlala zithande oku kunabantu abathe tye, kuba kufuneka zibenoloyiko ngakumbi, umsindo kunye nentlungu. Ngenxa yoko, ukwala into yokwenyani luphawu lokuziphatha kwabantu besini esinye.

Inyani ihlala iphambi kwakho, ikhangeleka ilungile emehlweni akho. Kunzima ukuyiphika. Ukwenza oku, kuya kufuneka untywiliselwe kwimidlalo enzima yengqondo, ungakhathaleli kwaye ugqwetha into oyibonayo noyivayo, ungacingi ngendlela engaqhelekanga onokuthi ujonge ngayo kulowo ubukele. Oku kunokubonakala njenge:

• Ukucinga ngendlela ethandekayo -Umntu ukholelwa ukuba uyakholiswa, ayiyiyo inyaniso. Ngamanye amaxesha oku kungaya kwizimanga eziqinisekileyo. Omnye umntu esazana naye, oyindoda esisetyhini kakhulu, wathi akazange akhe ahlaselwe imbonakalo yakhe kunye nokuziphatha kwakhe. Amaxesha amaninzi, sihamba naye esitratweni, sabona indlela elikhulu nelicaphukisa ngayo ulutsha olunentiyo ngokuxhaphaza. Okothusayo kukuba, akazange ayiqaphele le nto, okanye athethe ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo: "Aba bafana bayandicaphukisa kuba ndibonakala ndilungile kwaye ndinxibe ngendlela enxibileyo!" Omnye umzekelo sisikhokelo sikaGqr. Fenwick sokuKhusela i-Gay Health, esithi: Ngaphandle kwamabali abuhlungu, ukukhuselwa sisondo kuyindlela ekhuselekileyo necacileyo yokuba amadoda amabini abelane ngesondo. ". Olu luluvo oluyingozi kwaye luphosakele ngokucacileyo kwanakunyaka we-1983.

• Paranoia -Ukufuna ukwenza lula into egcweleyo yintsapho, ukutyhola ngento encinci yabacinezeli abanobubi. Oku kubonakaliswa kukuthambekela kwethiyori yethiyori. Umzekelo, i-CIA yatyholwa ngokuqamba kunye nokusasaza ngabom isifo sikagawulayo njengenxalenye yeyelenqe likarhulumente lokuphelisa zonke izitabane. Ukukhwaza inyani yabemi belali ngokuthuthuzela kunokwazisa inyani yokuba intsholongwane yabantu abaninzi isasazeke, inzulu, kwaye kunzima ukuyiphelisa.

• Ukungahambelani -banzi kangangokuba ayifuni nokuba ngumzekelo okanye nkcazo. Sonke saxoxa apho umntu owayesabelana naye ngesini esinye ehambelana nengqondo yethu okanye eyakhe. Kutheni? Ngenxa yokuba unikwe imigaqo yengqondo, kuya kufuneka wenze izigqibo ongazithandiyo. Ke ngoko, i-gay ihlala iphika ukucinga.

• Ukunyusa imvakalelo -Enye yeendlela ezisebenzayo zokuphelisa inyani kukusetyenziswa kwentetho yasendle nemvakalelo egudileyo. Abantu abathandana abathandana nabathile kule ndlela banethemba lokumemeza kunye nokuchaza izinto ngendlela engeyiyo.

• Iimbono ezingenasihlahla -aluhlobo luni lwemibono yobuqili abantu abathandana nabantu abangafanelani nalo. Ngenxa yokuba bengabo bagxothiweyo kwaye bengabachasi beli ziko, umdla wabo kwiingcamango uhambelana ngokuthe ngqo kwinqanaba lokuchazwa kwabo kunye nokuchaswa ngabasemagunyeni. Ke, izitabane zithanda i-New Age kwaye iinkolelo zobugqi, kunye nazo naziphi na ezinye izimvo ezingangqiniswanga yisayensi, okanye zingangqinwa yiyo: iziqhamo; ukuvumisa ngeenkwenkwezi, ukubhula ngamanani kunye neephiramidi; amakhadi e-tarot; "I-Vibes" ezivela kwiikristali kunye neendlela ezahlukeneyo ezothusayo "zokuphilisa". Ubumnandi obungacacanga kunye nethemba lezi zinto zibanika ithemba kwaye zenze ukuba ubomi babo kunye nobomi bubonakale buhle ngakumbi kunokuba benjalo.

Endaweni yokuba sihlalutye ngokusengqiqweni iinyani, sifunde le ngxaki kwaye sifumane isisombululo esifanelekileyo, abantu abaninzi abathandana nabo bayabaleka baye eNetland kwaye benze umzamo wokuphikisa izibakala kunye nokuqiqa. Ke, amanqaku kunye neencwadi ezifana nezethu ezixelela uluntu olungamabhaso ukuba alulunganga, ukuba lusengozini, kwaye, okona kubi kakhulu, kukuba, ngandlel 'ithile sinetyala, sihlaselwa ngokungekho mthethweni ngabarhwebi abachanekileyo kwezopolitiko. Ngoku sijonga kulaa madoda angaboniyo akhokela iimfama.

10. Ifilosofi yesini gay kunye nengcinezelo yokuchaneka kwezopolitiko

 Kwibali elifutshane likaClive Lewis "Iileta ezivela eBalamute," idemon endala ibhalela umtshana wakhe omncinci: 

“Indlela yokubona ifashoni yenzelwe ukuphambukisa ingqalelo yabantu kwimilinganiselo yokwenene. Sikwalathisa ukoyikeka kwesizukulwana ngasinye ngokuchasene nezo zenzo zimbi apho ngoku kukho eyona ngozi incinci, kwaye sinikezela imvume ngqo ngokubhekiselele kwisidima esisondeleyo kwisenzo esizama ukwenza uphawu lwexesha. Umdlalo ngowokuba babaleke ngesicimi-mlilo ngexesha lesikhukula baze baye ecaleni kwesikhephe esiphantse sibe ngaphantsi kwamanzi. Le yindlela esiyizisa ngayo ifashoni ngokuchasene nengqiqo yokuqala. "

Kwaye ngelixa singazukuya kude sibeke iinkokeli zeendaba zesini kunye nabo babesebenza nabo njengabaphembeleli (amaqela amabini agqithisileyo) njengeedemon, enyanisweni, le yindlela abaziphathe ngayo kule minyaka ingamashumi amabini idlulileyo. Ukusukela oko saqala ukuzifunda nokuzimamela, siqinisekile ukuba bekukho into engalunganga, enamehlo amfutshane, edlamkileyo kwaye eyonakalisayo kwilizwe labo kunye neendlela zabo. Kwiinzame zabo (ezihlala ziphumelela) zokumila iqhinga lezopolitiko lokuhamba ngesini, bathathe indlela engeyiyo yesimilo, benza umonakalo omkhulu kwinjongo yethu. Imizekelo embalwa yeendlela ezimbi ezinjalo:

• Iijuntas zababhali, intatheli kunye noosisi abadibeneyo bebizwa ngokuba "ziinkokheli kunye nabameli bentshukumo ye-gay" ngokusisigxina bazabalaza ukufumanisa indawo jikelele yezitabane ngokubhekisele kubantu abathe ngqo ngokubhekisele kumcinezeli / ixhoba, umnyama / omhlophe, umhlobo / utshaba, nathi / ngokuchasene nathi, ukungashiyi ndawo yamathunzi okungavisisani okusengqiqweni, okuya kukhokelela ngokungathandabuzekiyo, kwingxwabangxwaba, ekujonganeni nasekubandezelekeni. Babona abantu abathe tye njengabanaphakade kwaye ziintshaba kuphela ezimele zilwelwe ngamazinyo nangezikhonkwane.

• Ngokwengqondo, bakwixesha elidlulileyo apho ukuzithiya kwabantu abathandana besini esinye kwakuyingxaki, kwaye bayala ukuvuma ukuba ngoku sijongene neengxaki ezintsha ngokupheleleyo, ezinye zazo zinento yokwenza nokuzithanda kwethu ngokugqithiseleyo. . Bayakugatya nakuphi na ukugxekwa koluntu kungekuphela nje kubantu abangaphandle kwabesini esingafaniyo, kodwa nakwabangaphakathi kwi-gay, besebenzisa iindlela ezifanayo zokucinezela: ubuxoki, ukunyelisa, ukukhwaza phantsi, ukukhanyela ilungelo lokuphendula, ukubiza amagama, kunye nokusetyenziswa kweendlela eziphikisanayo, ukulahla ngokungakhethiyo kuwo wonke umntu “iintshaba” zinengxowa yeempawu ezifanayo. Nokuba ukugxekwa kukhulu okanye kuncinci, nokuba ukugxekwa kufana nesini okanye ngokuthe tye, ukuxilongwa, okuyiqhinga elidala eliphantsi, lihlala lifana: ungumntu othanda abantu abathandana nabo! Kwaye ukuba uyawazonda ama-gay, ngoko kufuneka uthiye abafazi, abamnyama kunye nabo bonke abanye abancinci abacinezelweyo.

• Bahlasela abasemagunyeni ngendlela efanayo, ngokuvakalayo nangokungekho ngqiqweni kangangokuba baphulukana nelungelo lokuthathelwa ingqalelo enkulu. Bade bazilume ezo zandla zizama ukubondla ngaphakathi kwemida yenkqubo, ukuba abaniki ezona menyu zazinengqondo.

Njengomakhi wombhobho we-Hamelny we-radicalism, basikhokelela kwizinga eligqithisileyo, bayala imilinganiselo yokuziphatha kunye nosapho, banganiki nantoni na ngembuyekezo, kwaye basishiya kwindawo yokuzihlukanisa yedwa kunye nokuziphatha okubi ngokubanzi. Bayakwazi ukutshabalalisa, kodwa bangakhi.

Kwimithombo yeendaba kunye nentsomi bayayincoma, ixhasa kwaye ikhuthaza indlela yokuziphatha gay eqhelekileyo (narcissism, hedonism, boitšoaro bokuziphatha okubi, isondo kwi-saunas), bamkele njenge "yindlela yethu yobomi", kwaye bazame ukuthengisa olu luhlu olungcolileyo hayi kuphela kubufanasini, kodwa nakubantu ngqo. phantsi kwesikhokelo sika "yiyo loo nto kuthetha ukuba yitabane." Bacacisa indlela yethu yokuphila ukusuka kwinqanaba lokujonga ngesondo kwaye banceda ukudala uluntu apho singalufumaniyo uthando, kwaye ke bayamangaliswa kwaye banomsindo xa abantu ngokuthe ngqo besigxeka njengezilwanyana ezihlala kuphela ngenxa ye-f * cles.

• Banobuganga bokuthetha egameni loluntu luphela ngelixa bekhanyela ilungelo “loninzi oluthe cwaka” lwamafanasini lokumelwa ngokulinganayo nangokuchanekileyo kushicilelo lwawo, bevumela “iingcaphephe” ezithandana nesini esahlukileyo ukuba zisidyobhe ngebhrashi efanayo. Bayasihlaza, kwangaxeshanye basirhuqe phantsi kunye nabo. Babhengeza ukuba sizithiyileyo, ubuqhetseba nabahanahanisi. Bayayihlonela indlela esiphila ngayo kwanaxa abantu abathe ngqo beyihlonela eyabo.

• Babeka yonke imizamo yokuzama ukwakha ubudlelwane kunye noluntu olungafaniyo njenge "ncedo" kunye "nokungcatsha," bekhetha, ngokucacileyo, ukubambana okuchaseneyo ngenxa yabo, ngokungathi kunokwenzeka ukuba baphile ngolonwabo kuluntu esilucekisayo.

* * *

Uphengululo lwethu lwalusekwe kwinto esiyibonileyo, sayivayo, sayifunda ngaphezulu kweminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu. Njengoko besesitshilo ngentla apha, elona phulo linobunkunkqele kwi-PR kwihlabathi aliyi kuba nefuthe lexesha elide kwisimo sengqondo sabantu abathe tye kwizitabane, ngaphandle kokuba olu tshintsho lwenene. Siyazi ukuba ukugxeka izitabane akulunganga kwezopolitiko, kwaye ukuba nabani na obuza indlela yethu yobomi lutshaba. Kodwa ikapteni isesela, kwaye asizukucela uxolo ngokungahambi kakuhle.

umthombo: After The Ball, isahluko 6

Ukongeza:

Ukubonakaliswa ngokwesiniAfter The Ball"Iimfihlo zeendaba ezilungileyo ze-gay

Impilo yengqondo kunye neyomzimba yabantu be-LGBT

Unyango lobufanasini