Iningi lokuqukethwe ngezansi lishicilelwa embikweni wokuhlaziya. "I-rhetoric of theungqedi lobungqingili ngenxa yamaqiniso esayensi". doi:10.12731/978-5-907208-04-9, ISBN 978-5-907208-04-9

Isingeniso

Enye yezimpikiswano zezishoshovu zenhlangano ye- “LGBT” ukuthi ukubambisana kwabongqingili yikho okuthiwa. "Imindeni yobungqingili" - kuthiwa akuhlukile emindenini engashadile enamanani endabuko nokubukwa komhlaba. Isithombe esikhona kwabezindaba ukuthi ubudlelwano bobungqingili buphilile, buzinzile futhi bunothando njengobudlelwano obujwayelekile bendoda eyodwa, noma buze budlule kubo. Lesi sithombe asilona iqiniso, futhi abamele abaningi bomphakathi wobungqingili bayasivuma ngokweqiniso. Abantu bobulili obufana nobodwa ababandakanyeka ebudlelwaneni bezocansi basengozini enkulu yokuthola ama-STDs, ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzimba, ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo, ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa, ukuzibulala nodlame olusondelene nabo. Le ndatshana izogxila ezicini ezintathu ezibalulekile zobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu bobungqingili ezihlukanisa ngokunamandla nabobulili obuhlukile:
• Ukuziphatha okubi nokuhambisana nayo;
• ubudlelwane obuhlala isikhashana futhi obungeyona bunye;
• ukukhuphuka kwamanani odlame ngokubambisana.

Okuqukethwe:

ISITHEMBISO
SEX KWIINDLELA ZOMPHAKATHI
"GAY SAUNAS"
INANI LESIQHAWE LABADLALI
UKUGCINA
UKUFAKWA KANYE NOKUNGABONI KAKHULU KOKUXHUMANA NABO
ISIQINISEKISO SOKUXHUMANA

Ukutholwa Okusemqoka

(1) Ebudlelwaneni obubhalisiwe nobungqingili, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwamadoda, kunezinga eliphakeme kakhulu lokuziphatha okubi ngokobulili kunakwisibalo sabantu abathandanayo.
(2) Ubudlelwano bobungqingili kanye "nemishado" kuvame kakhulu ukuthi kube nokuvuleleka ngokocansi - bavumela ubudlelwano bezocansi ngaphandle kombhangqwana.
(3) Ngokwesilinganiso, ubudlelwano obubhaliswe ngokusemthethweni bobungqingili kanye “nemishado” amafushane kakhulu kunemishado yobungqingili.
(4) Amazinga odlame ebudlelwaneni bobungqingili kanye nakwezithandani ezihlala ndawonye, ​​ikakhulukazi phakathi kwabesifazane, aphakeme kunasesibalweni esingafani nobungqingili.

Ukuziphatha okubi

Ebuhlotsheni bezocansi phakathi kwabesilisa, ukuziphatha okubi kuyinto ejwayelekile futhi kuyisici esikhulu ekusakazekeni kwama-STD. Ukwemukelwa ngumuntu ongungqingili "wobunikazi bobungqingili" nokuzibandakanya kwakhe enhlanganweni ye "LGBT" kukhulisa kakhulu ubuze bakhe bocansi (UVan de ven xnumx) Intatheli ekhangayo yezitabane uRandy Shilts kuphawuliwelokho kuziphatha okubi "Bekungumnyombo wokunyakaza kwama-gay gay kwama-70's" (Ama-Shilts 1987). Isishoshovu sobungqingili uGabriel Rotello ubhale ukuthi inhlangano “yezitabane” isuselwe ku:

"... ubudlelwano bocansi bokuziphatha okubi noma ikuphi ukuphambuka kulokhu kuziphatha okubi kuzosho ukuvukela umbuso ngezinga elikhulu ..." (I-Rotello 1998)

Inkanuko, i-sodomy, i-phalluses, kanye nokwethulwa kwezithombe ezingcolile zobulili nabalingani abaningi yizisusa ezihamba phambili ezincwadini zobungqingili, isiteji, ubuciko obubonakalayo, nezinye izinhlobo zobuciko.

Lesi sithombe esisodongeni lwendlu yangasese yomphakathi eNew York senziwa yinkanyezi yobuciko baseMelika yaseMelika uKeith Haring ukuhlonipha iminyaka engu-20 kwaba khona udlame lwaseStonewall. Sekudlule isikhathi esingaphansi konyaka, njengombhali walobu buciko, kuchaziwe kanjani "Inkokhiso yezinsuku ezingenazinsuku zocansi lwangasese" и "Ukunqoba okungahambisani nobungqingili"wabulawa yingculazi eneminyaka eyi-31.

Ubhubhane lwe-AIDS olwaqubuka ekuqaleni kwe-1980 kuphela lwanciphisa ngokungathandeki isifiso sokuya ocansini samadoda angongqingili, futhi nangaleso sikhathi esifushane. Ukwanda kokubekezelela komphakathi kwabantu abathandana nobungqingili kanye nokuthuthukiswa kwezidakamizwa zokwelapha kanye nokuvimbela ingculaza kube nomthelela ekuqalisweni kwezinga elandayo lokuziphatha okubi, manje osekusiza kakhulu izindlela eziningi zokuthandana nezicelo zocingo.

I- "Grindr" iyi-geo-application ethandwa kakhulu yendawo, evumela i-GPS ukunquma ibanga okuqondiswe kulo ubulili. I-logo yayo yoqobo, ekhumbuza izimpawu "Ungangeni kuzo" noma "I-Caution ushevu", ngobuhlakani obucacile ukuthi izinsizakalo ezinikezayo zingaba yingozi empilweni. Njengoba kukhonjisiwe ukutadisha, cishe i-50% yabasebenzisi bezicelo ezinjalo abayisebenzisi ikhondomu. Isicelo futhi isetshenziswa ngenkuthalo abadlwenguli, abaphangi kanye nababulali be-serial. Umbhali wobungqingili nesishoshovu uGary Lambert bathiukuthi akekho umuntu onobungqingili oneminyaka engu-50 ongeke azi okungenani ukuthi kubulawe umuntu oyedwa ngesikhathi aziwe ngengozi. Ngokusho kukaLambert, isidingo esinamandla sokwenza ucansi esinamandla amakhulu sibonisa ukuqaphela “izitabane,” futhi kwabaningi babo inhloso enkulu empilweni yile:

“… Isimo samaphupho abo enkanuko kanye nokufeza ukusondelana okuthile namanye amadoda. Usongo lokutheleleka nge-HIV luqinisa kuphela izifiso zabo, ngoba uma ingozi iba nkulu, imizwa iba namandla ngokwengeziwe ”ILambert 1993).

Okushiwo nguLambert kufana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwalowo owayengumongameli we-American Psychological Association, uNicholas Cummings, owayephethe umtholampilo eSan Francisco:

“Emphakathini wezitabane, ubudlelwano bezocansi babuvulelekile ngokuphelele futhi bungafani; kwakuyindlela eyinhloko yokuxhumana. Ntambama, wonke umuntu wahamba wayofuna ezokuya ocansini eBuena Vista Park, futhi kwaba yinto efanele leyo, ngoba wonke umuntu wayelapho ngenxa yakho. Ubulili obungaziwa baphenduka ubuntwana. Ngaleyo minyaka, bekunzima kakhulu ukuthola indlu yangasese yabantu ngaphandle komgodi odongeni lwekhabethe. Kwakunamadokodo akhethekile kuma-cinema ocansi lapho isivakashi sasincike khona sibuka amafilimu ezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, futhi ngaleso sikhathi umuntu othile wayengena edokodweni, wenza ucansi lwe-anal futhi wamshiya, futhi wayengazi nokuthi ngubani. Kwakuthandwa kakhulu.
Kwakunemigoqo lapho izivakashi zazigqoke kuphela ama-chapboy ama-cowboy (imilenze yesikhumba enama-groin evulekile), okungukuthi, empeleni, zazinqunu. Kwamanye amabha bekukhona amabhafu okuchama, futhi umuntu angakhuphuka angene kuwo, kuyilapho abanye bechama kuye. Kwakuyinto evamile.
ESan Francisco, kwakukhona umhubhe wesitimela oshiywe, lapho ebusuku ebumnyameni obugcwele abalingani batholakala bethinta. Lapho sebebulele umuntu lapho, kwaba ezindabeni, futhi ubungacabangani? - Inani lezivakashi lenyuke ngezikhathi ze-4.
Ngibe neziguli ezingakwazanga ukulala nomuntu othandana naye kabili. Ngivakashelwe nayiziguli ezazikhathele ubudlelwano besikhashana. Ubudlelwano obuningi bobungqingili buhlala cishe izinyanga ze-3. Wonke umuntu umatasatasa efuna "lowo". Ngangihlekisa ngeziguli, ngibatshela ukuthi lapho befuna bathathe isinqumo sokulala nomuzi wonke, uma kungenjalo ngeke kube nesiqiniseko sokuthi abaphuthelwa “lowo”, futhi behleka, bathi: “Kepha uqondisise kahle, doc” ”(I-Cummings xnumx).

Umsunguli wenhlangano yezitabane e-USA, uHarry Haye, waveza ukuthi ukuxhumana nabantu abathandana nobungqingili ezindlini zomphakathi noma emapaki “ngamalungelo omphakathi” futhi noma imuphi umzamo wokumisa lokhu kwephulwa komthetho wumphakathi “ukungabi nesihluku” kanye “nokucindezela”I-Jennings xnumx).

Izishoshovu zikaGay uKirk noMadsen, bakhuluma ngezinkinga zokuziphatha kobungqingili encwadini "After The Ball"Bhala okulandelayo:

“Mhlawumbe uhlobo olubi kakhulu lokuziphatha kobungqingili olungamukeleki ucansi lomphakathi ... Naphezu kwemizamo yeziphathimandla yokunqanda le nto, iqembu lezitabane liyaqhubeka ubusuku nemini ukuzitika ngenye yezindlela ezimbi kakhulu zobungqingili (imvamisa phambi kwabantu abaqondile) ezindlini zangasese zomphakathi, emapaki nasezitaladini wonke amadolobha amakhulu e-United States. Laba bantu abenzi mizamo yokuqinisekisa ukuthi umsebenzi wabo uyimfihlo, noma ngabe balinda ukudamba ekuhambeni kwezivakashi. Kodwa-ke, kwabaningi, ithuba lokubanjwa oqotsheni liyizingxenye ezintathu kwezine zenjabulo. Zishaya indlwabu ezindaweni zokuchama, zizulazule zingagqokile ngokuphelele egumbini, zishayane ezindaweni ezinama-acrobatic emadokodweni avulekile. Lapho bethela isidoda - ezihlalweni zangasese, ezindongeni noma phansi - bakushiya kumisiwe lapho emathonjeni anyanyekayo futhi abonakala kalula ... Kubukeka kungakholeki ukuthi amadoda athandana namanye angaba budedengu kangako, kepha iningi lawo lilawulwa kakhulu yimithondo kunobuchopho bawo ... Ngokumangazayo, amanye Izitabane ziyaqiniseka ukuthi zinelungelo lonke lokuthola ubuqili obunjalo ezindlini zangasese zomphakathi nasemapaki, kube sengathi zenzelwe zona ngqo njengendawo yokudlala yezocansi. Abanye baze bacasuke izivakashi okuthi uma sezifikile eRoma, zingafuni ukuziphatha njengamaRoma ... Abezindaba zobungqingili bakulahla kalula noma yikuphi ukuphawula kokuthi imigilingwane yomphakathi enjalo kuwumbono omubi, futhi bagxeka imizamo yamaphoyisa yokuqeda lo mkhuba. 'njengokuhlukunyezwa kwezitabane' ... " (UKirk noMadsen 1990).

Ku-1978, umdlali wasemuva waseMelika uLarry Kramer, owaziwa ngokuthanda kwakhe ubungqingili, wabhala inoveli ebizwa ngokuthi "abathandana abathandanayo"¹, okubangele isivunguvungu sentukuthelo yezishoshovu ze-LGBT + - ukunyakaza ngisho nesidingo sokulivimba (I-Baim xnumx) Futhi konke ngoba inoveli, njengoba uKramer ngokwakhe asho, ikhombisile ubuqiniso bangempela benkambiso yobungqingili. Le noveli yenzeka emakilabhini akhethekile nakuma-saunas, aphethwe ukuziphatha okubi kocansi, ama-sadomasochistic romies kanye nokusebenzisa izidakamizwa. Esethulweni sencwadi yakhe, uKramer uthe:

"... Yini embi kangaka engiyenzile? Ngibalule iqiniso ngokubhala. Ngenzeni? Ngisanda kukhuluma iqiniso elixakile kuwo wonke umuntu engake ngamazi ... ”(I-Baim xnumx).

Khona-ke, esihlokweni esanyatheliswa kumagazini wobungqingili “Ummeli,” uKramer wabhala okulandelayo:

“Ingculazi phakathi kwamadoda athandana nabesifazane ayiyi ndawo ... Awukwazi ukujuba ngokungakhethi nabalingani abaningi abenza okufanayo ngaphandle kokusabalalisa isifo ebesibulala iminyaka eminingi. Imvelo ihlale ikhokhisa intengo yokuziphatha kabi ngokobulili ... Kumele sakhe isiko elisha elingakhawulelwe kabuhlungu kangako futhi eligxile ekuthambekeni kwethu ngamapipi ethu nokuthi senzani ngawo. " (I-Kramer 1997)

"Gay saunas"

Ngaphandle kokuthuthukiswa kobuchwepheshe be-Intanethi, lokho okubizwa ngokuthi. Ama- “gay saunas”, akhona ngezinhloso zokubandlulula oxhumana nabo abangaziwa futhi abambe iqhaza elikhulu ekusakazweni kokutheleleka nge-HIV, qhubeka uchuma emadolobheni amakhulu. Ucwaningo lwe-2003 lonyaka lubonise ukuthi ngaphezu kwe-30% yamadoda angongqingili aya kulezi zisikhungo ngenombolo evamile yabalingani bezocansi mayelana nabantu be-27 ngonyaka (Woods xnumx) Ebumnyameni obuphakathi kwenye yalawa “saunas,” iminyaka emithathu ngemuva kokuxilonga obulala aze afe, wazibandakanya ocansini olungavikelekile no 250 abalingani ngonyaka UGaetan Duga, osekungomunye wemithwalo eyinhloko yokusabalalisa igciwane lengculazi e-United States. Unjalo-ke ichaza i "Gay sauna" owayengungqingili uJoseph Schiambra, omlutha wakhe wamqeda ngenxa yokususwa kancane kwe-rectum futhi wacishe wabiza impilo yakhe:

“Isakhiwo besinochungechunge lwezindawo ezihlukaniswe ngokungajwayelekile eziye zaba mnyama njengoba siya ngokujula. Umhlobiso wawuhlanganisa yonke imidwebo yamadoda: i-chrome epholishiwe, ama-cushion amnyama we-vinyl kanye nemidwebo yokwakha umzimba. Izindawo ezingaphambili bezinemininingwane eminingi, ngemuva kwazo bekunamakamelo acishe angenalutho apendwe ngokumnyama. Ukwenqatshwa kwakukhona, kepha kwakucashile, futhi wonke umuntu, ngisho nabadala futhi asebekhulile, babengathola umlingani. Njengesinqumo sokugcina, kwakukhona amadoda ayezulazula emakamelweni angemuva ayedinga kuphela umzimba wesilisa onegazi eligeleza emithanjeni yakhe. Ngiphume egumbini lokugeza ngahamba ngaya esigabeni esikhulu esinikezelwe ngamaketela namabhentshi ahlukahlukene wokuqeqesha. Impunga yezibhamu yezindonga yayifana nesitolo semishini noma igalaji. Ngingakwazi ukwenza izinhlaka eziyindida kuphela ezifana nezinhlobo zabantu. Ngaphambili ngangingenakukwazi ukwenza ibhentshi elingunxande elikhanyayo elincane, okwathi, phansi, lambozwa ngezinto ezimnyama. Bencike ebhentshini, amadoda amaningi enqunu ayeguqe. Bengingaboni amakhanda noma ubuso babo, ngibona izinqe zabo eziphakanyisiwe kuphela. Ngime nginganyakazi imizuzwana embalwa. Nakhu. Ngifinyelele kuvuthondaba lwezifiso zami ezijulile. Isiphetho sangempela saso sonke isitabane ukuguqa, sisakaze izinqe, ngethemba lokuthi kuzovela indoda ethile. "I-Sciambra xnumx).

Ama-Shilts приводит Isifundo se-1982 Center for Disease Control (CDC) 50 sokutadisha kwabantu abathandanayo abatholakala GRID (phambilini obizwa nge-AIDS). Kwavela ukuthi inani elijwayelekile labalingani bezocansi ezigulini kwakungabantu abayi-1100, kanti iziguli ezimbalwa zabika abantu abangu-20 000. Inani elilinganiselwe labalingani beqembu elilawula ubungqingili ngaphandle kwezifo lalingama-550. Ama-Shilts achaza ukonakala okuxhaphakile okwenzeka ezindaweni zobungqingili ngokungabikho kokucindezelwa kwabesifazane kanye nokuchichima ngokweqile kwe-testosterone:

"Akukho lutho ku-subculture yesitabane engalinganisa amanani obudoda nje, atholakala edakiwe njenganoma iluphi uhlobo lomuntu wobulili obuhlukile angakaze alokothe ​​alufune. Ukuziphatha okubi kudlangile, ngoba ekucwaningweni okubandakanya abesilisa kuphela, akekho ongasho ukuthi cha. Akekho onendima eyidlalayo efana naleyo yowesifazane esimweni esingafani nobungqingili. Abanye besilisa abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile bavumile ukuthi bazojabula ngombono wokuya ocansini osheshayo, olutholakalayo, noma ongaziwa olunikezwa ngama-gay saunas uma nje bengathola abesifazane abazimisele ukwenza kanjalo. Yebo, izitabane ziyavuma kaningi. ” (Ama-Shilts 1987)

Esiqeshini sevidiyo esingezansi, isiguli esinesifo sengculaza esigulisayo sithi okungenani wayenabalingani bezocansi be-50 ngobusuku obubodwa

Nasi isambulo uKirk noMadsen banika:

“Ukuphela kwethikithi lempilo yezitabane ukubukwa ngamehlo, kepha nokho lokho ngeke kukusindise ekudumazekeni ... Efika edolobheni, uthole ukuthi kunento eyodwa kuphela impilo yezitabane egxile kuyo: f * l ... Lapho umuntu esemncane futhi engenakho okuhlangenwe nakho, ubudlelwano obulula kakhulu be- "vanilla" - ukwangana nokushayana indlwabu - kumenele. Lokhu kuyinto entsha, enqatshelwe, engcolile, nejabulisayo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, i-vanilla sex nomlingani oyedwa iba yinto ejwayelekile, ejwayelekile futhi enesidina, futhi ilahlekelwa amandla ayo okuvusa. Ekuqaleni, ubungqingili obunamahloni bufuna okusha kozakwethu, buyeke ngokuziphatha kabi nangokuziphatha okubi. Ekugcineni yonke imizimba iba yisicefe kuye, bese eqala ukufuna injabulo emikhubeni emisha. Uzama ukubuyisa isasasa le-erectile ngezici ezingcolile nezinqatshelwe zocansi, ezinjengokuthakatha, i-urolagnia, i-coprophilia, njll. " (UKirk noMadsen 1990).

Izinga lokuziphatha okubi kobulili okuchazwe ngenhla emphakathini wobungqingili kuyahambisana nedatha yocwaningo.

Ucwaningo olwenziwe nguBell kanye nozakwabo (1978) lubika ukuthi i-70% yobungqingili yavuma ukuthi yalala nabangaphezulu kwe-50% yabalingani bayo kanye, i-43% yabongqingili iyavuma kuma-500 noma abalingani abaningi ezimpilweni zabo zonke, i-28% baqashelwa ku-1000 noma ngaphezulu kukho konke impilo yabo, futhi phakathi kwalaba bantu, ama-79% athi ingxenye yalabo abalingani yayingaziwa kubo ngokuphelele, futhi i-70% yalokhu kuxhumana ngocansi yayingobusuku obubodwa (1)I-Bell xnumx) Ngokusho kukaPollack nozakwabo, abalingani abaphakathi kobungqingili bashintsha inqwaba yabalingani unyaka ngamunye, namakhulu ambalwa ezimpilweni zabo (Pollak in Ama-xnumx, amakhasi 40 - 51).

Ngo-1984, ngemuva kokuqubuka kwesifo sengculaza, inhlangano yobungqingili yanxusa amalungu ayo ukuba alinganise ukuziphatha okuxekethile, kodwa lokhu akuzange kube nethonya elinamandla: esikhundleni> sabalingani abayi-6 ngenyanga ngo-1982, ummangalelwa ojwayelekile owayengeyena oyedwa eSan Francisco ngo-1984 wabonisa ukuthi ukuxhumana nabalingani abangaba ngu-4 ngenyanga (McKusick 1984²) Eminyakeni eyalandela, i-CDC yaphawula ukwanda kokuziphatha okubi ngokobulili emadodeni amancanyana eSan Francisco: ukusuka ku-1994 kuya ku-1997, inani labantu abathandana nobungqingili abaye baxhumana nabalingani abaningi kanye nokuxhumana okungavikelekile kohlobo lobulili kukhuphuka lisuka ku-23,6% laya ku-33,3%, nokwanda okuphezulu kakhulu phakathi kwezinsizwa ukuya kwi-25 iminyaka (I-CDC 1999) Yize kungenakho ukwenzeka, i-AIDS ayisabenqabeli ubungqingili ekuziphatheni okubi (I-Hoover xnumx; Kelly 1992).

Ocwaningweni lwabantu abangongqingili asebekhulile abangaphezulu kwe-2583, kutholakale ukuthi ngokwesilinganiso babenama-100 kuya kwabalingani be-500 ngesikhathi sokuphila kwabo, ngenkathi i-12% yayinabalingani abangaphezu kwe-1000 (UVan de ven xnumx) Futhi esifundweni esifanayo, kutholakale ukuthi kwabongqingili abamele ukunyakaza kobungqingili, amathuba okuthi babe nabalingani abaningi bezothando be-50 ezinyangeni ezedlule ze-6 ukuphindwe kane kunakulabo abobungqingili okungewona amalungu ombutho wobungqingili (UVan de ven xnumx).

Ucwaningo olwenziwe iphephabhuku lobungqingili iGenre luveze ukuthi ama-24% abaphendulile athi banabalingani besifazane abangaphezu kwekhulu ezimpilweni zabo. Lo magazini waphawula ukuthi abaphenduli abaningana baphakamisa ukuthi kufakwe ocwaningweni isigaba sabalingani “bezothando abedlula inkulungwane” (uLodda Report 1998).

Kokunye ucwaningo, okwathatha izinyanga ezi-6, inani elijwayelekile labalingani bezocansi kubantu abathandana nobungqingili abane-hepatitis A lalingu-68,2 ± 13. Isibalo sabalingani besikhathi esedlule sobudala silinganiselwa ku-713 phakathi kwalabo umkhuba wobungqingili owathatha isilinganiso seminyaka eyi-11,5, kanye ne-1054 labo umkhuba wabo wobungqingili ugcine iminyaka eyi-17,8. (UCorey 1980).

Imininingwane etholakalayo yatholakala ocwaningweni olwenziwe nguBell nozakwabo (1978) - ababhali, phakathi kwezinye izinto, bahlole ukuthi ngabe abaphendulayo babexhumana ngocansi nezilwane yini. Phakathi kwamadoda, i-19,5% yabobungqingili kanye ne-5,4% yamadoda abathandanayo abaphendulile ku-affirmative; phakathi kwabesifazane abathandana nobungqingili, i-6,5% iphendule ngoyebo, abesifazane abathandanayo baphendulwa kabi (I-Bell xnumx, 1981) Lapho ebuzwa ngomkhuba wobudlova bezocansi, i-26% yamadoda angongqingili, i-4,5% yamadoda athandana nobungqingili, i-9,6% yabesifazane abathandana nobungqingili kanye ne-2,7 yabesifazane abathandanayo baphendulwa ngokwesivumelwano (I-Bell xnumx).

Ocwaningweni lwezithandani zobungqingili besilisa, i-41% yayinezivumelwano ezivulekile zocansi ezinemibandela ethile noma imikhawulo, futhi i-10% yayinezivumelwano ezivulekile zocansi ngaphandle kwemikhawulo. I-22% ibike ukwephulwa kwezimo okuvunyelwene ngazo ezinyangeni ezedlule ze-12, kanti i-13% yesampula ibike ukuhlangana kokuvikelwa okungavikelekile ezinyangeni ezintathu ezedlule nomlingani ongaphandle onesimo se-HIV esingaziwa noma esingabazayo (I-Neilands 2010)

Ukuziphatha okubi kwabesifazane abathandana nobungqingili kuvamile kakhulu kunakwabesilisa abathandana nobungqingili, kepha kusekuphakeme kakhulu kunaphakathi kwabesifazane abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile. Kuyamangaza ukuthi kunokuphawuleka okumangalisayo ezincwadini ukuthi phakathi kwabesifazane abathandana nobungqingili, izinga lokuziphatha kabi ngokobulili nabantu besilisa (!) Liphezulu kakhulu phakathi kwabesifazane abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile. Abaphenyi base-Australia babike ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi umfazi wobungqingili abe nabalingani besilisa abaningi kakhulu kunabo bonke be-50 ngesikhathi sokuphila kwakhe kunezikhathi ze-4,5 eziphakeme kunalezo zabesifazane abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile (9% vs 2%); kanye ne-93% yabesifazane abathandana nobungqingili babelala nabesilisa (Intengo 1996; UFerris xnumx).

Ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi ukuziphatha okuxegisayo kwezocansi, okuvame ukuqala esemncane, kuhambisana kahle nobungqingili. Abesifazane abangalawulwa ngokocansi banesibalo esikhulayo sabalingani bezocansi, iningi labo okungenzeka ngokwezibalo kube ngabesifazane. Ngokocwaningo lwamuva nje, abesifazane abanabalingani abaningi bobulili obufanayo banabalingani bobulili obuhlukile (I-Kanazawa xnumx).

Eminyakeni engamashumi amabili edlule, umphakathi wabantu abathandanayo waba ngocansi ngokwengeziwe. Amaphephabhuku ama-Erotic, izitolo zamathoyizi ezocansi, nezinkampani zezithombe zobulili ezingcolile eziqondiswe kuzo futhi zilawulwa ngabathengisi bezokwelapha basakazeka. Amakilabhu ama-Lesbian akhangisa kusihlwa esithi "Ngiyayithanda i-Pussy" futhi ngokuziqhenya enza "umsebenzi" ngamatholethi asendlini yangasese. Izinhlangano ze-Lesbian BDSM zikhona emadolobheni amakhulu amakhulu ase-US, kanti ne-polyamory nayo iyanda.

Ukubheja

Kutholwe imibono eminingi yokuthi amadoda athile angongqingili azithela ngokwawo ngokuzithandela nangokuthelelana ngamabomu ngokutheleleka nge-HIV ngokuxhumana ngocansi okungavikelekile nomuntu one-HIV. EsiNgisini, kulo mbandela, kusetshenziswa amagama athi "bugchaser" - "umzingeli wezinambuzane" futhi "umnikezeli wesipho" - "onikelayo". Okokuqala, amacala okutheleleka nge-HIV ngokuzithandela axoxwa okokuqala phakathi nobhubhane lwe-HIV, maphakathi no-80-s, lapho kuvela izicucu zokuqala zesayensi ngalesi sihloko (UFrances 1985; Flavin xnumx).

Emuva ku-1999, esihlokweni esikumagazini weSFGate eSan Francisco, kwathiwa abantu okuthiwa yizitabane bakhula ngokuthandwa. Russian Roulette noma Bearbacking Sex Game³- amaqembu; okungukuthi, lapho amaqembu ezinsizwa ahlangana ukuhlanganyela ezithandweni zobungqingili, elandela imithetho emithathu: kungekho zingubo, amakhondomu futhi engakhulumi ngesimo se-HIV, noma okungenani oyedwa wabahlanganyeli ene-HIV (I-Russel 1999).

Incazelo enembe kakhulu yokuthi "ukujaha izimbungulu" ivele ngemuva kwesikhashana - e-2003, lapho intatheli uGregory Freeman enyathelisa i-athikili ethi "Ukufuna Ukufa" kumagazini "iRolling Stone", lapho athi kwavela khona ucansi olusha phakathi kwamadoda ayizitabane: lapho eyedwa ongqingili bafuna ukuthola i-HIV okuqondiswe kuyo, kanti abanye bafuna ukuyithelela ngenjabulo (Freeman xnumx, isusiwe kuwebhusayithi yeRolling Stone).

"Ukutheleleka ngegciwane lesandulela ngculazi kubona kungukugumbuqela kokungaziphathi ngokwedlulele, isenzo sokuya ocansini ngokweqile esheha abantu abathandana nobungqingili abakulungele ukuzama konke. Abanye bazizwa belahliwe eqenjini elihlala ne-HIV kusuka emphakathini wezitabane. Abanini bezimpahla bafuna ukuba yingxenye yalesi “kilabhu”. Abanye bathi ukugaxeleka kuvula umnyango we-nirvana. Futhi abanye abantu abakwazi ukuwumela umcabango wokuthi abukeka njengothandekayo wabo one-HIV ... ”(Freeman xnumx).

Yize i-athikili kaFreeman idale ukugxekwa okukhulu kwezinhlangano zakwa-LGBT, inhlangano yabasebenzi abasola uFreeman ngokweqile ubukhulu benkinga noma imininingwane eqondile, ubufakazi besayensi buyakhombisa imikhuba efanayo phakathi kwabungqingili. Abaphenyi uGossier noForthth e1999 baqala ngokuchaza emsebenzini wabo wesayensi isifiso sokutheleleka ngokutheleleka ngegciwane lesandulela ngculazi phakathi kwabenza imisebenzi yokuziphatha okubi ngokobulili nokungavikelekile kwabobungqingili (IGuthier xnumx) Ku-2003, uDkt Richard Tewkesbury uchaze, owokuqala emphakathini wesayensi, ukuthi abongqingili abasebenza “ukugoba” bayisebenzisa kanjani i-Intanethi nezindawo ezithile zokuthandana (I-Tewksbury 2003; 2006) Ku-2004, ukwanda kwemikhuba enjalo phakathi kwabungqingili kuchazwe nguCrossley (I-Crossley xnumx) Ucwaningo olwenziwa kakhulu lwe-Intanethi phakathi “kwabathengisi” abobungqingili lwenziwa ngabacwaningi bakwaGrove kanye nozakwabo (I-Grov 2006a; I-2006b; 2004) Ku-2007, ososayensi baseMelika uMoskowitz noRoloff bakhomba izizathu eziningana zokuthi kungani abanye abongqingili befuna ukungenwa yigciwane le-HIV: esinye sezizathu yisifiso sokungena "kubazalwane babaqalisi" abakhethekile, abahlangene kuneqembu elihlukile labesilisa abathandana nobungqingili (I-Moskowitz 2007a) Okunye isizathu ukungabaza ukuzivikela nesifiso sokuya ocansini ngokukhululekile ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuthola igciwane lengculazi. Iqembu lesithathu lifaka phakathi abantu abaphika ingculazi futhi futhi abenqaba i- “hysteria ye-AIDS” njengomqondo ongamanga. UMoskowitz noRoloff baqhathanisa ukugcotshwa kwezikhwama nokuthembela okuqinile kocansi: ngombono wabo, amadoda afuna ukuthola leli gciwane ngokuvamile abe nempilo yobulili engaqondakali, engena ocansini olungavikelekile nabantu bobabili abane-HIV nalabo isimo sabo se-HIV esingaziwa (I-Moskowitz 2007a) Izici zengqondo zabantu abathandana nobungqingili abaqhuba “ukugoba” nezizathu zalokhu kuziphatha nazo zichazwa kweminye imisebenzi (I-Moskowitz 2007b; I-LeBlanc 2007; Hatfield 2004; I-Blechner xnumx) Nakhu ukuthi kanjani ichaza i uJoseph Shyambra:

“Ngaleso sikhathi ngase ngigula kaningi kangangoba nganginesiqiniseko sokuthi senginalo igciwane. Ngabe sengingena ezinhlwini ze-bug-chasers ezingenasibindi ze-HIV kanye nalezo ezazivele zingenwe yileli gciwane. Kula maqembu, ukuthambekela kocansi oluphephile bekungekho ngokuphelele, noma umkhathi ubumnandi kakhulu futhi kushisa kakhulu ukuthi umuntu ame futhi avule iphakethe ngekhondomu. Abalandeli ababedinwe kakhulu yilabo abaphupha ngokuthola leli gciwane kumnikeli one-HIV. Ukungabikhona ngokuphelele kokucabanga ngokusebenzisa ubulili bobungqingili kushiye umuzwa ongazwisisi wokungaphili kubo bonke abahilelekile. Ukubuyiselwa kwemali kwakubandakanya ukwethula inhlayiya ekhokhwayo ku-semen, engase ihlule i-membrane yeseli ngalinye, iguqule owamukelayo kuze kube phakade " (I-Sciambra xnumx).

Ukuqina nokungabandakanyi kobudlelwano

Abungqingili, ngisho nokuba nobudlelwano obude nobude nobabili, mancane amathuba okuthi bathembeke komunye nomunye. Kwimindeni yendabuko, inhlolovo emele izwe lonke ekhishwe ku-Journal of Sex Research ithole ukuthi i-77% yamadoda ashadile kanye ne-88% yabesifazane abashadayo bayazifeza izifungo zabo zomshado (I-Wiederman xnumx) Kokunye ukuhlola okwenziwe kuzwelonke, kutholakale ukuthi i-75% yamadoda nama-85% amakhosikazi awakaze abe nobudlelwano bocansi ngaphandle komshado (I-Laumann xnumx) Ukuhlolwa ngocingo kwabaphenduli kwabantu abadala okwenziwe yi-1049 kumagazini weParade kubonise: I-81% yamadoda ashadile kanye ne-85% yabesifazane abashadile kubikwa ukuthi azikaze ziphule izifungo zabo zomshado (PR Newswire 1994). Ngokusho kokubuyekezwa kwemininingwane ye-1995, i-83% yamadoda kanye ne-95% yabesifazane babike i-monogamy (I-Paik 2010) Ngakho-ke, ubudlelwane bendabuko ngokobulili obuhlukile, kufaka phakathi umshado - inyunyana yendoda nowesifazane - kukhethekile ubulili, okusho ukuthi, ukuya ocansini ngaphandle komshado akwamukeleki.

Ngokuqondene nobudlelwano bobungqingili, kufaka phakathi labo ababhaliswe ngokusemthethweni, ubudlelwano obunjalo abuthandi ubulili ikakhulukazi - ngokwesilinganiso, umlingani ngamunye unokuxhuma kabili okufana phakathi nonyaka (Rosenberg 2011) Ucwaningo lweMcWhirter (1985) luthole ukuthi okwesikhashana kwe-1 kuya ku-5, yi-4,5% kuphela yabongqingili ebike ukuthi i-monogamy, futhi isikhathi esingaphezu kwe-5, akukho. Ababhali baphetha ngokuthi:

“Ukulindela ukwenza ucansi lwangaphandle kungumthetho wabantu abashadile ngaphandle kwalabo abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile. Izithandani ezithandana nobungqingili zihlala nethemba lokuthi ubuhlobo bazo buzohlala “kuze kube yilapho sehlukaniswa ukufa”, kuyilapho imibhangqwana yobulili obufanayo izibuza ukuthi ubudlelwano bayo buzosinda yini ... Into ebaluleke kakhulu egcina imibhangqwana ihlangana ndawonye ngemuva kweminyaka eyishumi ukungabi nezinto. kumngani ". (McWhirter 1985, p.3, p.256).

IHarry (1984) ibika ukuthi i-66% yamadoda angongqingili avuma ukuya ocansini ngasohlangothini ngonyaka wokuqala wobudlelwano, futhi uma ingahlala iminyaka engaphezu kwemihlanu, inani labantu abavumayo lenyuka laya ku-90%.

Ama-Sarantakos (1998d) uthole ukuthi i-10% kuphela yabashadikazi besilisa kanye ne-17% yabashadikazi besifazane ababenamabomu ngamabomu. Ngaphambi kwalokhu, ukhombise ukuthi kuphela i-19% yabashadikazi abathandana nobungqingili abangazange bahlukane kule minyaka edlule ye-5, kuyilapho i-66% yabesilisa kanye ne-63% yabashadikazi besifazane bahlukana nabalingani abathathu noma ngaphezulu (I-Sarantakos 1996c).

Ucwaningo olwenziwe eNetherlands lwathola ukuthi ubudlelwane bobungqingili buhlala unyaka owodwa nesigamu. Ngasikhathi sinye, ongqingili abangena ebudlelwaneni obude bane-22 abalingani bezemacansini abathandanayo ngonyaka, nalabo abathandana nobude obude⁴, - "kuphela" i-8 "abathandi" ngonyaka (I-Lampinen 2003; I-Xiridou 2003) Ukuhlola okwenziwe e2006 ngabacwaningi abavela e-University of California phakathi kwabungqingili kanye nabesilisa abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile kwaveza ukuthi ngaphezu kwengxenye yabesilisa abathandana nobungqingili (i-51%) babengekho ebudlelwaneni obuhlala njalo. Phakathi kwabesilisa abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile, lokhu kwabelana kwakungu-15% (IStrohm 2006) Ocwaningweni lwaseCanada lwabungqingili abake baxhumana nomlingani okungenani i-1, kwatholakala ukuthi yi-25% kuphela engenabo ukuxhumana kwangaphandle. Ngokuya kombhali walolu cwaningo:

“… Isiko lobungqingili livumela abesilisa ukuthi bazame izindlela ezehlukene… zobudlelwano, hhayi nje ukuthi indoda yathandana nabobulili obuhlukile…” (Lee 2003).

Ngokusho ucwaningo Iminyaka ye-2013, mayelana ne-70% yokutheleleka nge-HIV kubantu abathandana nobungqingili kwenzeka ngomlingani ojwayelekile, ngoba ubuningi bokuphinga benzeka ngaphandle kokusebenzisa ikhondomu (Brady 2013). Umelaphi wemishado uDkt Hayton uchaze isimo sengqondo sabongqingili abaningi emshadweni:

"... Ongqingili bayakholelwa futhi babe yisibonelo sokuthi ubudlelwano basemshadweni buyinto yesikhashana futhi ikakhulu buyimvelo yocansi ... Emphakathini wobungqingili, umbono ovame kakhulu ngukuthi ukuganwa komuntu oyedwa emshadweni akuyona into ejwayelekile futhi akumele kukhuthazwe ebudlelwaneni obuhle" bomshado "..." ( UHayton 1993).

Ocwaningweni lwe-2005, kutholwe ukuthi "i-40,3% yamadoda angongqingili angamalungu“ ezinyunyana zabasebenzi ”kanye ne-49,3% yalabo ababengekho kulezo zinyunyana baxoxwa futhi bavuma ukuvumela ubudlelwano bocansi bangaphandle. Ukuqhathanisa, phakathi kwemindeni yendabuko le nkomba ibilingana ne-3,5% ”(Solomon 2005).

Umcwaningi wePollak uthole ukuthi "kuphela ubudlelwano bobungqingili obuhlala isikhathi esingaphezu kweminyaka emibili, iningi labo libonisa ukuthi babenabalingani bezothando zocansi abangaphezu kwe-100" (Pollak in Ama-xnumx).

U-Whitehead (2017) wenza ucwaningo lokuqhathanisa ubude besikhathi sobudlelwano phakathi kwabashadikazi abathandanayo kanye naphakathi kobambiswano olubhalisiwe lwabobungqingili babo bobabili ubulili ngokususelwa kwizifundo zocwaningo olukhulu olushicilelwe e-United States naseBrithani (I-Whitehead 2017) Isikhathi esimaphakathi⁵ ukuhlangana kobungqingili kwakuyiminyaka ye-3,5, futhi isikhathi esiphakathi sobudlelwano emindenini eyahlukaniswe yindoda kwakuyiminyaka ye-27; Ngakho-ke, isikhathi sobudlelwano ebudlelwaneni nobungqingili obhaliswe ngokusemthethweni bumfushane amahlandla ayisikhombisa kunobuhlobo bomndeni nobungqingili (I-Whitehead 2017).

Ukuzwela ukunyakaza kobungqingili, umbhali uchaza ubudlelwano phakathi kongqingili ngale ndlela elandelayo:

“... emhlabeni wezitabane, okuwukuphela kwesilinganiso sangempela senani ukukhanga komzimba ... Owesilisa omusha ongqingili uzothola ukuthi uvame ukuba nentshisekelo kozakwabo bobungqingili njengento yezocansi. Yize bengammema esidlweni sakusihlwa futhi bamnike nendawo yokuhlala, lapho sebenelise intshisekelo yabo yezocansi kuye, maningi amathuba okuthi bakhohlwe ngobukhona bakhe nangezidingo zakhe. " (Hoffman xnumx)

E-2015, iNkantolo eNkulu yaseMelika yaqinisekisa ukuthi abantu abashada bobulili obufanayo bavumelane ngokomthetho, futhi bafuna ukuthi zonke izifundazwe zikhiphe izitifiketi zomshado kubantu abashade nabobulili obufanayo, futhi zinikeze nezitifiketi ezinjalo ezikhishwe kwezinye izindawo. Kodwa-ke, njengoba iGallup American Institute of Public Opinion ibonisa, ongqingili abaphuthi ukuxhaphaza amalungelo abo abasanda kuwathola. Uma ngaphambi kokugunyazwa ngokusemthethweni kwemishado yobungqingili, ama-7.9% abobungqingili baseMelika “ayeshade” (ebaphetha lapho kuvunyelwe), khona-ke ngemuva kokumiswa ngokusemthethweni yi-2.3% kuphela enqume ukwenza ubuhlobo babo ngokusemthethweni. Unyaka ngemuva kwesinqumo seNkantolo Ephakeme, yi-9.5% kuphela yabantu abathandana nobungqingili baseMelika ababeshade “nabashadikazi” bobulili obufanayo, iningi labo eneminyaka engu-50 + (UJones 2017) Kuvela isithombe esifanayo eNetherlands, lapho umshado wobulili obufanayo ubhaliswe ngokusemthethweni kusukela ngonyaka we-2001: kuphela i-12% yabongqingili “abashadile”, uma kuqhathaniswa ne-86% yontanga yabo abathandanayo.

UJoseph Ciambra ocashunwe ngenhla uyachaza Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi abesilisa abathandana nobungqingili abafuni ukukhawulela izifiso zabo zobulili ebudlelwaneni nomlingani oyedwa:

"Ngaphansi kokubaluleka kokuzalwa komuntu wesilisa, okhululwe ekuphikisweni kwabafazi nezintombi, amadoda angongqingili athambekele ekubambisaneni okuningi nokungabi nalutho, yingakho inani eliphansi umshado wobungqingili (i-9,6%), okwathi ngemuva kwesinqumo sika-Obergefell wenyuka kuphela nge-1,7%, kanye ukugcinwa kokutheleleka nge-HIV phakathi kwamadoda ebudlelwaneni okuthiwa buzinzile. Ubudlelwano phakathi kwabesilisa abathandana nobungqingili abuyona imishado, kepha kuyaxoxiswana ngayo ubudlelwane obuvulekile. Noma kunjalo, kuvela ukubukeka okufanisa ubungqingili besilisa nobungqingili noma ubungqingili. ” (I-Sciambra xnumx). 

Ngokungafani nobungqingili, "imishado", "ubungqingili" kanye "nokuthembeka" emadodeni athandana nobungqingili akuvamile ukusho umlingani oyedwa. Ngakho-ke encwadini I-Handbook of Family Diversity (1999) Kwethulwa ucwaningo lapho imibhangqwana eminingi ezibheka “njengendoda eyodwa” ibike ukuthi ngonyaka odlule baba nesilinganiso sabalingani be3 - 5.

Intatheli yaseBrithani uMilo Yannopoulos uchaza umongo wobudlelwano bezitabane ngale ndlela elandelayo:

“Ngihlala nginomngani oyedwa oyinhloko onganginikeza imali. Lokhu kuvame ukuba ngudokotela, osebenza ebhange, noma into enjalo. Futhi ngiba nabangane abambalwa kwezocansi - abaqeqeshi bomuntu siqu, abasubathi. Ngiyabamema, futhi lelo soka eliyinhloko liyangimema ... Iqiniso liwukuthi, sinamathuba ongenawo. Sinokuyekelela okuphawuleka kakhulu okusikhulula kuyo yonke imicikilisho. Yingakho umshado wezitabane ungenangqondo. Nkulunkulu wami, noma ngubani ofuna ukuba nomuntu oyedwa kubi kabi ”I-Yiannopoulos 2016).

Njengoba umkhuba ukhombisa, ngokungafani nokuhlanzeka ngomshado wobungqingili, ubuningi bobungqingili abuzidingi nhlobo. Ngabe ichazwa kanjani le ndaba? Okokuqala, ubudlelwano bobulili obufanayo abuzinzile ngokwemvelo. Uma ebudlelwaneni bemvelo, owesilisa nowesifazane bencedisana ngokwahlukana kwabo kokuzalwa nangokwengqondo, khona-ke ebudlelwaneni bobulili obufanayo akukho ukuvumelana kokuhambisana, yingakho ongqingili bathola ukubekezelela ukungagculiseki, okuvezwe kusesho olungapheli. Njengoba udokotela wezifo zengqondo u-Edmund Bergler aphawula:

"Ubudlelwano obungemthetho wobungqingili buyi-idyll buqhathaniswa nobungqingili obuhle kakhulu" (I-Bergler 1956, k. 17).

Ngakho-ke ithuba lokushada nomuntu othandana naye wobulili obuhlukile alishintshi iqiniso lokuthi ubudlelwane obunjalo abusebenzi.

Ukuchazwa okunelukuluku kokuntuleka kwe-monogamy phakathi kwamadoda angongqingili kunikezwa ngowayengowesilisa oyisitabane uWilliam Aaron. Kuyaphawuleka ukuthi usebenzisa igama elithi "Homophile", elidumile kuma-60's kodwa akhohliwe manje (njengezilwane zasekhaya, umuntu ohamba ngezinyawo, njll.):

“Empilweni yezitabane, ukuthembeka cishe akunakwenzeka. Njengoba ingxenye yokuphoqwa kobungqingili ibonakala iyisidingo sabesilisa abathandana nobulili obufanayo ukuthi "bamunce" ubudoda babantu abenza nabo ucansi, kumele njalo aqaphele [abalingani abasha]. Ngenxa yalokho, "imishado" ephumelela kunazo zonke yilawo lapho kunesivumelwano phakathi kwabalingani sokuba nokuthandana ohlangothini, ukugcina ukubukeka kokuvumelana esimweni sempilo yabo ... Impilo yobungqingili ijwayelekile kakhulu futhi isebenza kahle kakhulu lapho oxhumana nabo bezocansi bengazenzi futhi bengaziwa. Njengeqembu, ongqingili ebengibazi babonakala bekhathazeke kakhulu ngocansi kunabobulili obufanayo ... ”(UWilliam Aaron 1972, p.208)

UBerggler, echaza isithombe somqondo wobungqingili obujwayelekile, futhi uphawula ukuthi bakhetha ubulili obungaziwa kanye nokungagculiseki okungapheli okuholela ekusesheni okuqhubekayo:

“Ubungqingili obujwayelekile buhlala buqaphile. "Ukuhamba ngesikebhe" kwakhe (igama lobungqingili lokuthola umzuzu wemizuzu emibili noma umlingani wesikhashana esifushane) kukhulu kakhulu kunalokho kwe-neurotic yobulili obungafani nobulili obubodwa kubalingani bobusuku obubodwa. Ngokusho kwabobungqingili, lokhu kufakazela ukuthi banxanela ukuhlukahluka futhi banesifiso sobulili esinganeliseki. Eqinisweni, lokhu kufakazela kuphela ukuthi ubungqingili ngukudla okuya ocansini okungalungile futhi okungagculisi. Iphinde ifakazele ubukhona besifiso esihlala njalo sokuthola amehlo ngengozi: ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho besohambweni lwabo, ungqingili usengozini yokushaywa, ukuzama ukuphangwa noma izifo ezithathelwana ngocansi ... Oxhumana nabo bobungqingili abaningi batholakala ezindlini zangasese, ekusithekeni emapaki nasezindaweni zokugeza zaseTurkey, lapho into yocansi ingabonakali khona. Izindlela ezinjalo ezingezona ezomuntu zokufinyelela "othintana naye" zenza ukuvakashela indawo yezifebe zobulili obufanayo kubukeke njengokuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo. " (I-Bergler 1956, iphe. I-16)

Nakhu izishoshovu uKirk noMadsen okukhulunywe ngazo ngenhla abachaza ngayo umongo wobudlelwano bobungqingili:

“Abongqingili abalunge kakhulu ekutholeni nasekugcineni abalingani. Ubudlelwano phakathi kwabo ngokuvamile abuhlali isikhathi eside, yize iningi ngobuqotho lifuna ukuthola umuntu azoshada naye. Ngamanye amagama, wonke umuntu ubheke, kepha akekho. Ungayichaza kanjani le nkinga? Okokuqala, lokhu kungenxa yobuntu besimo sobuchopho besilisa nokwengqondo, okwenza ubuhlobo bendoda nobudlelwano bendoda nowesilisa buzinze ngokwendalo kunobudlelwano bendoda nowesifazane. Ngokwesilinganiso, idrayivu yocansi yowesifazane imbi kakhulu kuneyendoda, futhi ayivuswa yisikhuthazo sokubuka. Owesifazane wamukela kakhulu imizwa yakhe kunalokho akubonayo. Abesilisa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, abagxili nje kakhulu ocansini (cishe njalo), kodwa futhi ngokushesha futhi bajabule kakhulu ngokubona nje komlingani “ofanele”.

Okwesibili, ukuvusa inkanuko yezocansi kuncike kakhulu "emfihlakalweni", okungukuthi, izinga lokungaziwa phakathi kwabalingani. Kuyacaca ukuthi ngokwenyama nangokomzwelo, amadoda afana kakhulu kunabesifazane, ngakho-ke ayaziwa kangako lapho. Lokhu, njengomthetho, kuholela ongqingili ekusebenzeni ngokushesha ngokweqile kusuka kubalingani babo. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi lokhu kuyiqiniso ngisho nangokwengeziwe kubantu abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa, abanhliziyo yabo ithatha ngokushesha okukhulu, kepha njengoba izidingo zabo zocansi zilingana ngesizotha, baneliseka kalula ngobuhlobo bezemizwa.

Okuwukuphela kwendlela abantu abaningi abathandana nabobungqingili abakhetha ukuxhumana nabo ngayo ukuheha ubulili. Ubudlelwano obuhlala buhlala nabantu ongabazi nabantu abangenandaba nabo buye buqine kule nkambiso ejwayelekile nokungathandi ukwahlulela ngezinqubo ezibaluleke kakhulu. Izinkolelo zobungqingili ezinjengalezi zingavezwa njengokuthi: "UKarl, yize eyisidonsa, kepha enesidala esikhulu, mhlawumbe ngizohamba naye ekhaya."

Ukungavikeleki okungokomzwelo, ukwesaba izibopho kanye nomuzwa oqinile wokuphansi kuholela ongqingili abaningi ekuziphatheni okubi okukhulu. Beqiniseka ngenhliziyo yabo ukungabi nalusizo lwalutho, bacindezela lo muzwa omubi ngokufakazelwa njalo ukuthi bafiswa ngocansi, baziphatha kabi ngokobulili nabalingani abangaziwa. Futhi yize cishe bonke abantu abathandana nobungqingili besho ukuthi angathanda ukuthola uthando lweqiniso, izimfuno zakhe ziseqisa futhi azinangqondo kangangokuba azishiya engenalo ithuba lokuhlangana nomuntu onjalo. Isibonelo, akufanele aphuze, abheme, abe nentshisekelo kwezobuciko, ebhishi, e-guacamole, abukeke futhi aziphathe njengendoda eqondile, gqoka kahle; abe nomqondo wokuhlekisa, isizinda senhlalo “sokufanele”; akufanele ube nezinwele eziningi emzimbeni; kufanele iphile kahle, inyulwe kahle, ithungwe. . . kahle, uthola iphuzu.

Kungani ubungqingili bazibeka esimweni esinjalo? Okokuqala, ngoba bakhetha ukuhlala emaphutsheni kunokusebenzelana ngokoqobo. Okwesibili, ibanikeza izaba ezikahle zokuthi kungani bengasenamuntu, nokuthi ubulili obukhethiwe nobungakhethi empeleni buwukufuna kwakhe lowo.

"Ukungathandi" ukuba nobudlelwano bomuntu siqu kuvame ukungabinakho ukuba nabo. Abantu abanale nkinga bazokuya ngokwedlulele ekuchazeni ngokwanele ukufanelekela kwabo, kuze kufike ekubhaleni izincwadi ezibonisa indlela yabo yokuphila “njengesitatimende sezepolitiki esiguqukayo” kanye “nokusebenza kwabaculi abathandekayo bezemidlalo yaseshashalazini yezocansi”.

Lapho, ngokwesifiso sendoda engcono, indoda engungqingili ivuma umuntu ofayo, impi yothando ayipheli lapho - kuqala kuphela. UJoni Gay ojwayelekile uzokutshela ukuthi ufuna ubudlelwano “obungenasisekelo” lapho lover “engahileleki khona kakhulu, engenzi izimfuno, futhi emnika isikhala somuntu siqu esanele.” Eqinisweni, asikho isikhala esizoba sanele, ngoba uJoni akafuni umuntu othanda yena, kepha ufuna “umngani oshubile” ongu-henchman - umngani ozobe efuna ukubonga, uhlobo lokusebenzisa izinto zasendlini ngokungazethembi. Lapho ukunamathela komzwelo kuqala ukuvela ebudlelwaneni (okuthi, emcabangweni, kube yisizathu esizwakalayo kubo), bayeka ukukhululeka, babe "banenkathazo" bese behlukana. Noma kunjalo, akubona bonke ongqingili abafuna "ubuhlobo" obomile kanjalo. Abanye bafuna romance yeqiniso mutual, baze bayithola. Kwenzekani emva kwalokho? Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, inyoka eneso elilodwa izophakamisa ikhanda layo elibi.

Akukaze kube khona isiko lokwethembeka emphakathini wezitabane. Akunandaba ukuthi ungqingili ujabule kangakanani nesithandwa sakhe, cishe uzogcina ngokufuna i-x **. Izinga lokungathembeki phakathi kobungqingili "abashadile", ngemuva kwesikhathi esithile, lisondela ku-100%. Abesilisa, njengoba sekushiwo, bayathandeka kakhulu kunabesifazane, abanethonya lokusimamisa, futhi ubuso obuthile esitimeleni noma esitolo bayakwazi ukuvula amakhanda abo kalula. Izitabane ezimbili ziyinkinga ephindwe kabili, ebeka ngokungenamkhawulo amathuba endaba ebulalayo. Imibhangqwana eminingi engongqingili, ikhothamela okungenakugwemeka, iyavuma "ukuvula ubudlelwano." Kwesinye isikhathi kuyasebenza: ngemuva kokuyeka intuthu, isithandwa esingazinzile sibuyele kumlingani obaluleke kakhulu kuye kunabanye. Kepha lokhu akusebenzi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kwesinye isikhathi ubudlelwano obuvulekile bufaneleka kakhulu kozakwethu omunye komunye, ogcina evumile ukuthi abakwazi ukubumela babuye bahambe. Kwesinye isikhathi kumane nje kungukuvuma okuncane ukuthi ubudlelwano abusasekelwe othandweni, kepha kusezingeni lokuya ocansini nasekusebenzeni kwansuku zonke. Lezi zokugcina zingaba yinto enengekayo ikakhulukazi: abathandi, noma kunalokho abahlala nabo, baphenduke abahlanganyeli, basizane ekutholeni abalingani bobulili kwabathathu ”... (UKirk noMadsen 1990).

Ngokwesithombe somtholampilo sikaDkt. Nicolosi, bobabili abalingani ebudlelwaneni bobungqingili bavame ukuthola ukuhlukaniswa nobulili babo buqhamuka ebuntwaneni kanye nesidingo sokuyinxephezela. Ngakho-ke, ubudlelwano babo buvame ukuthatha isimo sokufinyeleleka okungenangqondo kwenye indoda njengemodeli yesidoda introject. Ekufuneni ubudlelwano namanye amadoda nokwenza kwabo ubulili, ongqingili uzama ukuhlanganisa ingxenye elahlekile yobuntu bakhe. Ekufuneni enye indoda ukwenza ukuntula kwayo izimfanelo zobudoda, ongqingili aqala ukuxhomekeka kumuntu othandana naye noma edumele kakhulu ukuthola kuye ukuntuleka okufanayo kobuntu bakhe nokwakhe.

Edumazekile, uhamba eyofuna omunye umlingani owanelisa ngokwengeziwe. Njengoba ukuheha kwakhe kuvela ngenxa yokushoda, akakwazi ukuthanda ngokukhululekile: isimo sakhe sokukhohlisa ubulili bakhe nokuvikeleka kwakhe ukuvimbela ukusungulwa kokwethembana nokusondelana. Ubona abanye abantu besilisa kuphela ngokuya ngalokho abangakwazi ukukwenza ukuze bangenele ukungenami kwakhe. Ngalezi zici bathatha, hhayi ukupha.

Indoda ecindezelekile ingazizwa isesikhashana isikhashana ngosizo lwezocansi olungaziwa - ngenxa yokuvuka kwayo, ukuqina kanye nokuba sengozini, ngokuphuma kocansi okulandelayo kanye nokwehla ngokushesha kwengxabano. Kepha lokhu kuyindaba yesikhathi kuphela, aze abuye acindezeleke, abuyele ebulilini engaziwa njengesixazululo sesikhashana sokungakhululeki kwakhe ngokomoya. Imvamisa iklayenti lobungqingili libika lifuna ubulili obungaziwa ngemuva kwesigameko lapho lazizwa linganakwa noma licasulwe enye indoda.

Ubudlova Bokubambisana

Ngokusho Isibonelelo sokunakekelwa kwezempilo se-LGBT, "Abantu abancane abancane ngokocansi kungenzeka babe nezimo ezinzima zomzimba nezengqondo, njengodlame lwasekhaya kanye nokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa ..." (IMakadon 2008) Ama-Lesbians kungenzeka kakhulu kunamadoda angongqingili ukuba yizisulu nabaqalisi bobu budlova (Waldner-Haugrud 1997²).

Ucwaningo lwe-APA lithole ukuthi ama-47,5% wabantu abathandanayo abake bahlukunyezwa ngokoqobo kusuka kumlingani. Phakathi kobungqingili, udlame lwabalingani lubikwe yi-38.8% (Ibhalsamu xnumx) I-CDC yethule idatha efanayo - i-40,4% yabantu abathandana nabesilisa ababehlukunyezwa ngokoqobo bahlukunyezwa ngumlingani; ku-29,4%, udlame lwalulukhulu: ukushaya, ukuhlasela noma ukushaya into kanzima (I-Walters xnumx).

Kwisampula yabesilisa abathandana nobungqingili, i-73% yabo yaba yizisulu zodlame lwezocansi ngumlingani (Merrill 2000) UWelles nozakwabo bathole ukuthi i-49% yabesilisa abamnyama ebudlelwaneni bobulili obufanayo bahlukunyezwa ngokomzimba futhi i-37% yahlukunyezwa ngokocansi (I-Welles xnumx).

I- "LGBT Family Research Journal" ibike ukuthi i-70,2% yabantu abathandana nabesilisa abathobekile baye bahlukunyezwa ngokomqondo ngonyaka owedlule (UMatte noLafontaine 2011) Olunye ucwaningo luveze ukuthi i-69% yabesifazane ababandakanyeka ebudlelwaneni bobulili obufanayo babika ukuthuthuka ngamazwi, kuyilapho i-77,5% ibika ukuziphatha okulawula uhlangothi lomlingani. Kwabesilisa abathandana nobungqingili, le datha yayiyi-55,6% ne-69,6%, ngokulandelana (I-Messinger 2011). Ngokusho kokubuyekezwa kwe-CDC, ngokwesilinganiso, i-63,5% yabantu abathandana nabesilisa abathola ulaka ngokwengqondo kusuka kumlingani, imvamisa ibonakala ngokuhlukaniswa nomndeni nabangane, ukuhlazeka, ukuthukwa kanye nokuqinisekiswa ukuthi akekho omunye umuntu oyidingayo (I-Walters xnumx).

Amanga kanye nozakwabo baqaphela ukuthi ulaka ebudlelwaneni bezobulili obufana nabesilisa kakhulu kuvame ukuzwana kakhulu. Esibonelweni sabo, i-23,1% yabantu abathandana nabesilisa abesilisa nabesifazane abesilisa nabesifazane babike ukuthi ubulili baphoqwa ngophathina babo, kanye ne-9,4% kumlingani wabo wangaphambili. Ngaphezu kwalokho, i-55.1% ibike ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi nangokomzwelo (Uqambe amanga. I-Xnumx) Olunye ucwaningo lutholile ukuthi uma kuqhathaniswa ne-17,8% yabesifazane abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile, i-30,6% yabantu abathandana nabesilisa abathandanayo baye bahlangana ngocansi nentando yabo (Duncan 1990), kodwa ngokuya Waldner-Haugrud (1997¹) I-50% yabantu abathandana nabesifazane abathandana nabesilisa abathola ukungena okuphoqelelwe ngophathina babo, okuyi-5% kuphela engaphansi kwamadoda angongqingili.

I-athikili ye-1994 yonyaka kwiJenali Yodlame Olumele ibhekane nezingqinamba zokungqubuzana nodlame ekuhlanganyeleni kwabesifazane abathandana nobungqingili (I-Lockhart 1994) Abaphenyi bathola ukuthi i-31% yabaphenduliyo ibike yahlangabezana nesiqephu esisodwa sokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba ngumlingani. Ngokusho kweNichols (2000), i-54% yabesifazane abathandana nobungqingili kubikwa ukuthi bathola ama-10 noma ezinye iziqephu zodlame ezenziwa ngabalingani, i-74% iveze iziqephu ze6 - 10 (AmaNichols xnumx).

Ucwaningo lweNational nodlame olubhekiswe kwabesifazane olubhekiswe kwabesifazane luveze ukuthi "ukuhlangana kwabantu bobulili obufanayo kunesilinganiso sobudlova esiphakeme kunasekuhlanganyeleni ubungqingili. I-39% yabantu abasebenza ngokuhlukumezeka ibike ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo ngumlingani uma kuqhathaniswa ne-21,7% yabaphenduli abavela emcabangweni wobulili obuhlukile. Phakathi kwamadoda, lezi zibalo yi-23,1% ne-7,4% ”ngokulandelana.I-CDC 2000).

Emsebenzini wabo, abesilisa abashaya amadoda abathandayo, i-Island kanye ne-Letellier balinganisela ukuthi "izehlakalo zodlame lwasekhaya ebudlelwaneni besilisa nobungqingili zicishe ziphindwe kabili kunalokho kubantu abathandanayo nabobulili obuhlukile" (Isiqhingi xnumx).

Ngokusho kocwaningo olushicilelwe nguHulumeni waseCanada e2006:

"... udlame lomlingani lwenzeka kabili kuningi phakathi kwemibhangqwana engqingili uma kuqhathaniswa neyabobulili obuhlukile: 15% no-7%, ngokulandelana" (Izibalo Canada - Ikhathalogi no. 85-570, i-p.39).

Imininingwane eyengeziwe

Imininingwane eyengeziwe nemininingwane kungatholwa emithonjeni elandelayo:

1. UDailey tj Ukuqhathanisa Izindlela Zokuphila Zabashadikazi Abashadikazi Abangabashadikazi Nemibhangqwana Eshadile. Umkhandlu Wokucwaninga Komndeni. I-2004.
2. Cameron P. Udlame lwasekhaya phakathi kwabalingani bobungqingili. Psychol Rep. I-2003 Oct; 93 (2): 410-6. I-DoI: 10.2466 / pr0.2003.93.2.410
3. Reisman J. Umbiko weReisman & Johnson. Kusetshenziswe "Emshadweni Wongqingili" Futhi "Amacala Enzondo". Umbiko Wenqubekela Phambili. Uhlaka Olusebenzayo lwango-2008. Izimiso Zokuqala Cindezela. amakhasi 8-11.

Amanothi

I-1 English: "Fagots"
I-2 Ku-1982, abaphendulile baveze ukuthi babenesilinganiso sabalingani abasha be-4,7 ngenyanga edlule; I-1984 - abalingani abasha be-2,5 besikhathi esifanayo.
I-3 eng.: "Barebacking" - ukugibela i -backback. Lokhu kusho ukungena kokungena kobulili (“anal” ucansi) ngaphandle kwekhondomu.
I-4 ihlala "nomlingani ojwayelekile obhalisiwe"
Isikhathi se-5 kusuka ukubhaliswa kuya ekunqanyulweni kobambiswano lobungqingili noma "umshado"